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Prediction: tonight's Torchwood will be utter shite

BARROWMAN IS THE BASTARD I MEANT, PRBOABLY.
 
John Barrowman is pretty cool I mean wasn't he on Live & Kicking with Andi Peters?
 
And that CGI cat thing.
 
RIGHT! RIGHT! NO, LEFT!! GO LEFT!!!

John Barrowman annoys me. He really does act like Tom Cruise in interviews, jumping up and down and constantly sticking his hand out for high fives that nobody responds to so he ends up having his hand hovering about in mid air for a few seconds before awkwardly slapping his knee or patting someone.
 
But he grew up in Scotland and can slip into a very good scottish accent at a whim.
 
Torchwood is supposed to be coming to BBC America sometime this year.
 
Fear its arrival.
 
It's when everything changes.
 
But you gotta be ready for it!
 
Don't get too close, or it might kiss you!

torchwood1.jpg
 
And all the 1940s people will just stand there staring at them instead of commenting on it.
 
Then "Let's Dance" by David Bowie comes in over the wireless and the remaining members of Torchwood oil up for an orgy.
 
Then Gwen cheats on her boyfriend with 3485 different men, women and aliens but gets angry when he burns her dinner.
 
Owen encounters an alien woman who can finally put an end to the weevil things, but instead rapes her to death. Ianto returns with cups of tea for the pair, and to his chagrin, discovers he needn't have boiled a whole pot.
 
Ianto and Jack have sex with a grandfather clock or something.
 
I like how that sexual reference was so fucked up, nobody seems to know quite what it meant.
 
Or if it was even sexual.
 
I thought it was a wanking competition, but who knows?

According to wikipedia, Toshiko first appeared in Dr.Who examining an alien corpse(I think it was the pig).
 
Yep, the one with the Slitheraaaaaaaaaaaans or whatever in season one.
 
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