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Rejected Chuck Norris facts list

Get your bifocals -- that's Chuck Barris you recruited.
 
116) Chuck Norris replied to Wacky's :clang: with :b_lock:
 
117) Chuck Norris doesn't have a penis. Merely, another FIST. Or something. I don't know.
 
It's possible. Some penii are oddly shaped like a baby's arm. FACT.
 
118) Chuck Norris cant believe its not butter.
 
119) Chuck Norris believes man walked on the moon. Because he was the one who roundhouse kicked man to the moon.
 
120) Chuck Norris was born with the name Leslie Norris and only had it changed after being teased in 2nd grade by Billy Nowak the fat Polish kid.
 
121) Chuck Norris once sucked a cock, just to see what it felt like
 
122) Chuck Norris has lots of cats.
 
122) Chuck Norris is not subject to the laws of gravity, but obeys them out of courtesy.
 
123) Chuck Norris refuses to appear on Sesame Street due to an irrational fear of puppeteers trying to insert their hands up his bum.
 
124) Chuck Norris goes to RHPS showings dressed as Dr Franken four times a year.
 
125) In a recent poll, fans voted the favorite anagram of Chuck Norris to be CRUNCH SIR OK.
 
127) Chuck Norris has someone on staff full-time to open lids on jars for him.
 
128 ) The world was supposed to end years ago, but Chuck Norris still hasn't signed off on it.
 
129) Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked open the tomb where Jesus swept after three days and gave Our Lord the kiss of life.
 
Damn, it's hard to top that one...

130) Chuck Norris likes puppies. He's not in love with them, sometimes they're a handful to deal with, especially on the maid's day off. But overall he thinks they're OK.
 
131) Chuck Norris went back in time and became William Wallace.
 
132) Then he came forward in time in order to be Marcia Wallace for the entire run of "The Bob Newhart Show."
 
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