SPAMCAPITAL OMEGA: THE REMAKE OF THE REMAKE OF THE SPAM

[The Dork Lord]

It held up its chain at arm's length, as if that were
the cause of all its unavailing grief, and flung it
heavily upon the ground again.

 

[The Dork Lord]

"At this time of the rolling year," the spectre said,
"I suffer most. Why did I walk through crowds of
fellow-beings with my eyes turned down, and never
raise them to that blessed Star which led the Wise
Men to a poor abode! Were there no poor homes to
which its light would have conducted me!"

 

[The Dork Lord]

Scrooge was very much dismayed to hear the spectre
going on at this rate, and began to quake exceedingly.

 

[The Dork Lord]

"Hear me!" cried the Ghost. "My time is nearly gone."

 

[The Dork Lord]

"I will," said Scrooge. "But don't be hard upon
me! Don't be flowery, Jacob! Pray!"

 

[The Dork Lord]

"How it is that I appear before you in a shape that
you can see, I may not tell. I have sat invisible
beside you many and many a day."

 

[The Dork Lord]

It was not an agreeable idea. Scrooge shivered,
and wiped the perspiration from his brow.

 

[The Dork Lord]

"That is no light part of my penance," pursued
the Ghost. "I am here to-night to warn you, that you
have yet a chance and hope of escaping my fate. A
chance and hope of my procuring, Ebenezer."

 

[The Dork Lord]

"You were always a good friend to me," said Scrooge. "Thank'ee!"

 

[The Dork Lord]

"You will be haunted," resumed the Ghost, "by Three Spirits."

 

[The Dork Lord]

Scrooge's countenance fell almost as low as the Ghost's had done.

 

[The Dork Lord]

"Is that the chance and hope you mentioned,
Jacob?" he demanded, in a faltering voice.

 

[The Dork Lord]

"It is."

 

[The Dork Lord]

"I--I think I'd rather not," said Scrooge.

 

[The Dork Lord]

"Without their visits," said the Ghost, "you cannot
hope to shun the path I tread. Expect the first to-morrow,
when the bell tolls One."

 

[The Dork Lord]

"Couldn't I take 'em all at once, and have it over, Jacob?" hinted Scrooge.

 

[The Dork Lord]

"Expect the second on the next night at the same
hour. The third upon the next night when the last
stroke of Twelve has ceased to vibrate.

 

[The Dork Lord]

Look to see me no more; and look that,
for your own sake, you remember what
has passed between us!"

 

[The Dork Lord]

When it had said these words, the spectre took its
wrapper from the table, and bound it round its head,
as before. Scrooge knew this, by the smart sound its
teeth made, when the jaws were brought together
by the bandage.

 

[The Dork Lord]

He ventured to raise his eyes again, and found his
supernatural visitor confronting him in an erect
attitude, with its chain wound over and about its arm.