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SPAMCAPITAL OMEGA: THE REMAKE OF THE REMAKE OF THE SPAM

"Spirit," said Scrooge submissively, "conduct me where
you will. I went forth last night on compulsion, and I learnt
a lesson which is working now. To-night, if you have aught
to teach me, let me profit by it."
 
Holly, mistletoe, red berries, ivy, turkeys, geese, game,
poultry, brawn, meat, pigs, sausages, oysters, pies, puddings,
fruit, and punch, all vanished instantly.
 
So did the room, the fire, the ruddy glow, the hour of night,
and they stood in the city streets on Christmas morning, where
(for the weather was severe) the people made a rough, but
brisk and not unpleasant kind of music,
 
in scraping the snow from the pavement in front of their dwellings,
and from the tops of their houses, whence it was mad delight to
the boys to see it come plumping down into the road below, and
splitting into artificial little snow-storms.
 
A CHRISTMAS CAROL by Charles Dickens

The house fronts looked black enough, and the windows
blacker, contrasting with the smooth white sheet of snow
upon the roofs, and with the dirtier snow upon the ground;
which last deposit had been ploughed up in deep furrows by
the heavy wheels of carts and waggons; furrows that crossed
and re-crossed each other hundreds of times where the great
streets branched off; and made intricate channels, hard to trace
in the thick yellow mud and icy water.
 
The sky was gloomy, and the shortest streets were choked
up with a dingy mist, half thawed, half frozen, whose heavier
particles descended in a shower of sooty atoms, as if all the
chimneys in Great Britain had, by one consent, caught fire,
and were blazing away to their dear hearts' content.
 
There was nothing very cheerful in the climate or the town, and
yet was there an air of cheerfulness abroad that the clearest
summer air and brightest summer sun might have endeavoured
to diffuse in vain.
 
For, the people who were shovelling away on the housetops
were jovial and full of glee; calling out to one another
from the parapets, and now and then exchanging a facetious
snowball--better-natured missile far than many a wordy jest--
laughing heartily if it went right and not less heartily if it
went wrong.
 
The poulterers' shops were still half open, and the
fruiterers' were radiant in their glory. There were great, round,
pot-bellied baskets of chestnuts, shaped like the waistcoats
of jolly old gentlemen, lolling at the doors, and tumbling out
into the street in their apoplectic opulence.
 
There were ruddy, brown-faced, broad-girthed Spanish Onions,
shining in the fatness of their growth like Spanish Friars, and
winking from their shelves in wanton slyness at the girls as they
went by, and glanced demurely at the hung-up mistletoe.
 
There were pears and apples, clustered high in blooming pyramids;
there were bunches of grapes, made, in the shopkeepers' benevolence
to dangle from conspicuous hooks, that people's mouths might
water gratis as they passed; there were piles of filberts, mossy
and brown, recalling, in their fragrance, ancient walks among
the woods, and pleasant shufflings ankle deep through withered
leaves; there were Norfolk Biffins, squat and swarthy, setting
off the yellow of the oranges and lemons, and, in the great
compactness of their juicy persons, urgently entreating and
beseeching to be carried home in paper bags and eaten after
dinner.
 
The very gold and silver fish, set forth among these choice
fruits in a bowl, though members of a dull and stagnant-blooded
race, appeared to know that there was something going on; and,
to a fish, went gasping round and round their little world in slow
and passionless excitement.
 
It was not alone that the scales descending on the counter
made a merry sound, or that the twine and roller parted
company so briskly, or that the canisters were rattled up
and down like juggling tricks, or even that the blended
scents of tea and coffee were so grateful to the nose, or
even that the raisins were so plentiful and rare, the almonds
so extremely white, the sticks of cinnamon so long and straight,
the other spices so delicious, the candied fruits so caked and
spotted with molten sugar as to make the coldest lookers-on
feel faint and subsequently bilious.
 
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