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SPAMCAPITAL OMEGA: THE REMAKE OF THE REMAKE OF THE SPAM

Nor was it that the figs were moist and pulpy, or that the French
plums blushed in modest tartness from their highly-decorated
boxes, or that everything was good to eat and in its Christmas
dress; but the customers were all so hurried and so eager in the
hopeful promise of the day, that they tumbled up against each
other at the door, crashing their wicker baskets wildly, and left
their purchases upon the counter, and came running back to
fetch them, and committed hundreds of the like mistakes, in
the best humour possible; while the Grocer and his people
were so frank and fresh that the polished hearts with which
they fastened their aprons behind might have been their own,
worn outside for general inspection, and for Christmas daws
to peck at if they chose.
 
But soon the steeples called good people all, to church and
chapel, and away they came, flocking through the streets in
their best clothes, and with their gayest faces.
 
And at the same time there emerged from scores of bye-streets,
lanes, and nameless turnings, innumerable people, carrying their
dinners to the bakers' shops.
 
The sight of these poor revellers appeared to interest the
Spirit very much, for he stood with Scrooge beside him in
a baker's doorway, and taking off the covers as their
bearers passed, sprinkled incense on their dinners from his torch.
 
And it was a very uncommon kind of torch, for once or twice
when there were angry words between some dinner-carriers
who had jostled each other, he shed a few drops of water on
them from it, and their good humour was restored directly.
For they said, it was a shame to quarrel upon Christmas Day.
And so it was! God love it, so it was!
 
In time the bells ceased, and the bakers were shut up; and
yet there was a genial shadowing forth of all these dinners
and the progress of their cooking, in the thawed blotch of
wet above each baker's oven; where the pavement smoked as
if its stones were cooking too.
 
"Spirit," said Scrooge, after a moment's thought, "I wonder
you, of all the beings in the many worlds about us, should
desire to cramp these people's opportunities of innocent
enjoyment."
 
"You would deprive them of their means of dining every
seventh day, often the only day on which they can be said
to dine at all," said Scrooge. "Wouldn't you?"
 
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