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SPAMCAPITAL OMEGA: THE REMAKE OF THE REMAKE OF THE SPAM

"I want nothing from you; I ask nothing of you;
why cannot we be friends?"
 
"I am sorry, with all my heart, to find you so
resolute. We have never had any quarrel, to which I
have been a party. But I have made the trial in
homage to Christmas, and I'll keep my Christmas
humour to the last. So A Merry Christmas, uncle!"
 
A CHRISTMAS CAROL by Charles Dickens

His nephew left the room without an angry word,
notwithstanding. He stopped at the outer door to
bestow the greetings of the season on the clerk, who,
cold as he was, was warmer than Scrooge; for he returned
them cordially.
 
"There's another fellow," muttered Scrooge; who
overheard him: "my clerk, with fifteen shillings a
week, and a wife and family, talking about a merry
Christmas. I'll retire to Bedlam."
 
This lunatic, in letting Scrooge's nephew out, had
let two other people in. They were portly gentlemen,
pleasant to behold, and now stood, with their hats off,
in Scrooge's office. They had books and papers in
their hands, and bowed to him.
 
"Scrooge and Marley's, I believe," said one of the
gentlemen, referring to his list. "Have I the pleasure
of addressing Mr. Scrooge, or Mr. Marley?"
 
"Mr. Marley has been dead these seven years,"
Scrooge replied. "He died seven years ago, this very
night."
 
"We have no doubt his liberality is well represented
by his surviving partner," said the gentleman, presenting
his credentials.
 
It certainly was; for they had been two kindred
spirits. At the ominous word "liberality," Scrooge
frowned, and shook his head, and handed the credentials
back.
 
"At this festive season of the year, Mr. Scrooge,"
said the gentleman, taking up a pen, "it is more than
usually desirable that we should make some slight
provision for the Poor and destitute, who suffer
greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in
want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands
are in want of common comforts, sir."
 
"Are there no prisons?" asked Scrooge.
 
"Plenty of prisons," said the gentleman, laying down
the pen again.
 
"And the Union workhouses?" demanded Scrooge.
"Are they still in operation?"
 
"They are. Still," returned the gentleman, "I wish
I could say they were not."
 
"The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour,
then?" said Scrooge.
 
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