SPAMCAPITAL VII: Conchaga is a douchebag!!

[eloisel]

I'll probably be so old I have to run around in a wheel chair

 

[eloisel]

that's okay

 

[eloisel]

in my next life I'm going to be a whale

 

[eloisel]

I want to be one of those that the deep sea creatures don't mess with.

 

[eloisel]

And I want to be big enough to tip over sea going vessels that contain people who are trying to hunt me down, blow me up, and do whatever they do with whale parts.

 

[eloisel]

I want to spout water out of a hole in the top of my head.

 

[eloisel]

It'll be like giving them the finger.

 

[eloisel]

I'll spout and it will mean, "fuck off you whale hunting bastards."

 

[eloisel]

they'll be dumb and not know it is whale language

 

[eloisel]

but I'll recall, vaguely, being human and know what they are saying

 

[eloisel]

"Help me, help me, Jesus, help me. The big, bad whale is tearing up my whaling ship and I'm a gonna drown. Help me, Jesus, help me."

 

[eloisel]

I'd be a dolphin because people like dolphins and think they are super smart and higher on the evolutionary chain than humans.

 

[eloisel]

Could be.

 

[eloisel]

I remember watching "Flipper" on TV and I thought he was pretty groovy.

 

[eloisel]

But that show was written to make me feel that way about dolphins.

 

[eloisel]

At least about Flipper in particular.

 

[eloisel]

They didn't mention the fact that Flipper, and all of his kind, crap in that water that they swim in, that we swim in with them.

 

[eloisel]

It isn't like I asked Flipper to come swim in my unflushed toilet.

 

[eloisel]

Of course, he didn't exactly ask me to come swim in his fecal matter either.

 

[eloisel]

But, how does that make him higher on the evolutionary chain than me?