texts from last night

[Cassie]

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/recent/5

Not all of them are funny, but enough of them are.

(856): a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell


(757): I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?


(310): This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder

 

[Dr Dave]

(310): This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder

(908): Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution

(479): Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...

 

[Cassie]

(858): You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.

(907): I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.

 

[ctmelvital]

(615): arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life