THE APPRENTICE starts TOMORROW

[CaptainWacky]

Tuesday and Wednesday this week, Wednesday every week after.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p017h0j7/profiles/candidates

Now, I don't want to be shallow...actually, I do want to be shallow. There's no hot ones. Not even the men. What the fuck.

And Alex Mills' eyebrows!?

I'm picking Myles and Jaz to win, but realy I have no clue.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Our Apprentice is forever ruined because it's still Donald Trump. They can only do a celebrity version now because they're the only ones willing to be seen associating with him in exchange for huge piles of cash going to their charities (and probably them under the table). If they tried to do a regular version now, the whole cast would probably be Obama-hating conspiracy freaks like him, since they'd be the only ones willing to work for him.

Not that it was some great show to begin with.

 

[The Tomtrek]

I hate Alex Mills already.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Yeah, none of them seem hot right now, but we know from previous years that people can emerge halfway through the process as beautiful, intelligent butterflies that have laid low while the idiots said and did idiotic things.

Sophie Lau looks a little like Susie Ma. I'll back her to win (which means she'll come second).

 

[CaptainWacky]

Didn't Lord Sugar end up partnering with Susan Ma in something anyway, even though she lost?

 

[The Tomtrek]

Jason is kind of adorable.

Karen: Everyone was talking, but the only person who couldn't be heard was Jason.
Jason: Because he was too busy listening. hpsmile:

 

[CaptainWacky]

I'm picking Myles and Jaz to win, but realy I have no clue.

Great I picked the idiot who made them put batteries into every cat and the annoying school teacher who got fired.

I liked when Tim's head starting bouncing about crazy. Looking forward to more Alex Mills. Irish woman my new pic to win (she'll be fired next now.)

Did Karren Brady always have those breasts?

 

[headvoid]

I struggle to watch 30 seconds now. It's like putting my hand on an iron and saying to myself "AT LEAST I CAN TALK TO JON AND WACKY ABOUT IT, BE BRAVE, YOU CAN DO IT"

 

[The Tomtrek]

You don't care about talking to me about it?

 

[CaptainWacky]

And why are you talking to Jon Snow about it? He knows nothing.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Jon Snow was just at Old Trafford bemused at not being able to find any Man U fans there. He really does know nothing.

Anyway... Fuck. They really turned it up a notch for those boasty introductory monologues, huh? "I'LL LITERALLY EAT ME OWN FACE IF IT MEANS I CAN MAKE PAUPERS OF MY ADVERSARIES". Someone on Twitter commented that the left wing BBC had an agenda to make capitalism seem immoral and full of cocks. If that had been their objective then they certainly would've succeeded in the first 30 seconds.

Tim may be a Christopher Dean bobblehead given life by a kiss from Jane Torvill.

Sophie Lau really does look like Susie Ma. We weren't just being racist. She also seems equally competent. I'm glad she's my pick TO WIN.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Sophie seemed to do literally nothing tonight.

Tim was a pretty obvious choice to be fired. The way the other girls (well, some of them) all teamed up on Rebecca was really blatant. Maybe something happened in the house that we didn't see. It can't just be because of her pointing, surely.

All the guys but Jason seem like dicks but Jason is hilariously incompetent.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Sophie really set herself up to be fired when she said "I can't do anything!" So that was a really obvious firing. Sorry, Fuddlemiff.

Luisa is pretty but evil, Uzma is just evil, Natalie has a pointy chin...I can tell them apart now. Rebecca or Leah to win.

Or one of the guys I still can't tell them apart except Alex (did well this episode) and Jason (never does well.)

 

[headvoid]

I watched it for you, I sat through it. It was like having maggots in my mouth.

My observations:
1. PINK lipstick and foundation seem to be the order of the day. It looked VILE
2. "Poxy Boxy" was the funniest line by Alan Sugar. Otherwise he is like a shit Uncle who cracks sexist jokes and thinks he is being antagonistic and annoying. He is generally just being shit. Boring Brady woman would deck him if she wasn't so inconsequential.
3. MORE Nick, he is the one good thing left.
4. I can hear the directors voice sometimes "you were really objectionable at that point, can you say it again as we didn't catch it?"
5. The make up woman (WHICH ONE!?!) looks like the love child of Danny DeVito and Tina Turner.

It is all like having my skin peeled. I did it for you guys. I deserve a fuckin medal.

 

[CaptainWacky]

There should be a scene where Nick isn't the Boardroom and Lord Sir says "where the BLOOMIN' 'ELL is Nick!?" then it cuts to the Countdown studio and he's drinking champaign with Rachel.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Mostly has this week's on in the background, but I did appreciate the editing team mixing things up for once at the end, where it looked as though the girls would miraculously have 10 million orders from the final company, but instead had 0.

Meh about Sophie going. She was Susie Ma in face only.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Yes Karren did well breaking their little hearts there.

"They really liked your pitch...they really liked YOU...they thought the product WAS A BIG BAG OF SHITE LOL!"

 

[headvoid]

To be fair, that was quite funny, She should have delivered it dressed as Widow Twanky for perfection.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Why was Jordan so determined to get Lord Sugar to taste buffalo?

 

[CaptainWacky]

REMEMBER this week's episode of the least discussed series of The Apprentice in history is on tonight instead of tomorrow for some reason!