The Cassie and Tisiphone Detective Team Adventures Season 3

[Dr Dave]

Episode 10: Mine Field Reunion Part 3

Just then Cassie and Tisiphone Lady Detectives Burst in, dragging in a bloodied Dr Dace

"NOW THIS IS A PARTY!" said Dr Dave

"What's Dr Dace doing here?" asked Loktar who was suddenly tied to a park bench

"QUIET BENCHY, I'll ask the question here you CUNTS!" said Seph adding "What's that CUNT Dr CUNTy MC DACE doing here?"

"Well before I beat the shit out of him, he said he was on a mission, wouldent say for who though, but I think we all know" said Cassie

Suddenly VARIOUS MEMBERS began vomiting violently

"I feel sick..." said headvoid as he vomited up some kidney pie.

"This has to be the work of The Kilted Nun" said Tisiphone

Cassie and Tisiphone with the help of Dr Dave began to check the food.

"BY GORB OR BY GORN, I've found it!" said Dr Dave

Dr Dave had found poison in the nice cheeses platter.

"That FUCKDAMN NUN, going after the nice cheese" said CaptainWacky

Suddenly the lights went out.

To be continued...

 

[headvoid]

Robbie Coltrane to play the Kilted Nun?

 

[CaptainWacky]

BARROWMAN?

 

[Dr Dave]

Episode 11: SEXY Nun Calendar

"Hey who's humping my leg!" said Fuddlemiff

"Sorry!" said Eggs

The lights came back on, something was amiss.

Cassie and Tisiphone looked around

"Where's CaptainWacky?" asked Cassie with some alarm.

Cassie and Tisiphone went on an immediate search of the event area but came up empty.

"This must be the work of The Kilted Nun" said Tisipone, as she said this Cassie found a note on the NICE HAMS table.

"MY GOD, I'LL CUT HER DONG OFF!" said Cassie with much anger

"What happend...Where's Wacky?" asked Tomtrek

"The Kilted Nun has kidnapped him...and she wants...all of CaptainWacky's images, or she will feed him to her angry baboon!" Said Cassie

Tisiphone looking at the note said "We have to get her the images in 24 hours"

The gang needed a plan.

...

"YOU MOLDY TOAST!" said CaptainWacky

"Be quiet, OR I WILL SMACK THE NOSE OFF OF YOU!" said The Kilted Nun

"You'll never get away with this!" replied CaptainWacky

"Ha, I will, your gang of terrible detectives is no match for me" said The Kilted Nun

"I have one question, why, why all this?" asked CaptainWacky

"I suppose you deserve that much, BUT ONLY THAT MUCH! See, I hate Natalie Portman, and I hate you, you both ruined my life, all I wanted was fame and fortune. See I was supposed to be Natalie, I was supposed to be THE ACTRESS, THE STANDARD, but that BORK ruined my life, I lost out to the role that made her, it was all downhill from there. Then..then...if things could not get worse...I was rejected by you, I wanted you to publish a SEXY Nun Calendar, but no, you rejected it, you knew I would have been Natalie...YOU KNEW!" Said The Kilted Nun, who was clearly coming unglued.

"I don't know who you are, and plus nobody would buy a Nun Calendar, nobody who I care about anyway..." said CaptainWacky

"YOU WDFISHOIFHofhoifhofh!" Said The Kilted Nun

"Excuse me misstress, you have a call." said Sister McFlounder

"WHO, WHO INTERUPTS ME?" asked The Kilted Nun

"It's..The Mad Jamaican" replied Sister McFlounder

"I'm not done with you WackyFART" said The Kilted Nun as she walked hurriedly out of the room

To be continued...

 

[Dr Dave]

Episode 11: SEXY Nun Calendar

"Hey who's humping my leg!" said Fuddlemiff

"Sorry!" said Eggs

The lights came back on, something was amiss.

Cassie and Tisiphone looked around

"Where's CaptainWacky?" asked Cassie with some alarm.

Cassie and Tisiphone went on an immediate search of the event area but came up empty.

"This must be the work of The Kilted Nun" said Tisipone, as she said this Cassie found a note on the NICE HAMS table.

"MY GOD, I'LL CUT HER DONG OFF!" said Cassie with much anger

"What happend...Where's Wacky?" asked Tomtrek

"The Kilted Nun has kidnapped him...and she wants...all of CaptainWacky's images, or she will feed him to her angry baboon!" Said Cassie

Tisiphone looking at the note said "We have to get her the images in 24 hours"

The gang needed a plan.

...

"YOU MOLDY TOAST!" said CaptainWacky

"Be quiet, OR I WILL SMACK THE NOSE OFF OF YOU!" said The Kilted Nun

"You'll never get away with this!" replied CaptainWacky

"Ha, I will, your gang of terrible detectives is no match for me" said The Kilted Nun

"I have one question, why, why all this?" asked CaptainWacky

"I suppose you deserve that much, BUT ONLY THAT MUCH! See, I hate Natalie Portman, and I hate you, you both ruined my life, all I wanted was fame and fortune. See I was supposed to be Natalie, I was supposed to be THE ACTRESS, THE STANDARD, but that BORK ruined my life, I lost out to the role that made her, it was all downhill from there. Then..then...if things could not get worse...I was rejected by you, I wanted you to publish a SEXY Nun Calendar, but no, you rejected it, you knew I would have been Natalie...YOU KNEW!" Said The Kilted Nun, who was clearly coming unglued.

"I don't know who you are, and plus nobody would buy a Nun Calendar, nobody who I care about anyway..." said CaptainWacky

"YOU WDFISHOIFHofhoifhofh!" Said The Kilted Nun

"Excuse me misstress, you have a call." said Sister McFlounder

"WHO, WHO INTERUPTS ME?" asked The Kilted Nun

"It's..The Mad Jamaican" replied Sister McFlounder

"I'm not done with you WackyFART" said The Kilted Nun as she walked hurriedly out of the room

To be continued...

 

[CaptainWacky]

Hate that Kilted Nun.

 

[Dr Dave]

Episode 12: Loktar and the park bench

Loktar had been forgotten about.

"This is just typical, like the time I got trapped in THE MALL while trying on ladies socks!" said Loktar aloud to nobody in particular.

Loktar really wanted to be able to help, the rest of the MF gang had gone off to a pub to plan CaptainWacky's rescue from The Kilted Nun, it seemed they often went to pubs to do this. However they had all rushed out, except Seph who poured some stale beer on Loktar's pants.

VOOSH VOOSH VOOSH

Loktar woke up, sometimes the vooshing of the park bench could be make one pass out. Loktar was unsure where he was. He was in a park facing a building. He could see somebody...a nun perhaps...in a kilt.

"Oh my, it's The Kilted Nun, I've found her hideout!" thought Loktar

Suddenly Loktar heard a phone ringing, but it was not around him but in his head.

"Cassie here!" said the woman on the other end of the line.

"It's Loktar, the park bench transported me across from The Kilted Nun's HQ" said Loktar

"Great, where is it, can you see any street signs or landmarks?" asked Cassie

"Yeah, she's in front of a store...it's...Toad Mart, premium seller for licking toads!" said Loktar

"Great, we'll see you shortly, we just have to get that WWII bomber" said Cassie.

The line went dead, Loktar now had to wait and hope The Kilted Nun didn't see him.

To be continued...

 

[Dr Dave]

double post :usa:

Why does this keep happening...?

 

[Loktar]

double post :usa:

Why does this keep happening...?

side effect of teleporting park benches.

 

[Dr Dave]

Must be.

 

[Dr Dave]

Episode 13: "Let's all jack us a WWII Bomber!"

"Alright guys, where can we get us a bomber?" asked Cassie

"Well, there is the WWII museum!" said Tomtrek

"Does anybody here actually know how to fly one?" asked Fuddlemiff

"I few a plane once, I can probably do it again!" said Dr Dave

"Let's all jack us a WWII Bomber!" said Cassie

"We better make it quick, who knows if The Kilted Nun will just kill CaptainWacky before we can get to him." said Tisiphone

The group got on a double decker bus that FBI Part Due had stolen. As they drove they could hear somebody shouting on the roof.

"I'll go look, somebody take the wheel." said FBI as he got up

The bus swerved a bit before Cassie sat down.

FBI went up to the roof and saw Whisky tied to the roof.

"Get me down!" shouted Whisky

"No" said FBI coming back in.

"What was it?" asked Cassie

"Just whisky, I left him up there" replied FBI

"Good" said Tisiphone and Tomtrek

...

The Kilted Nun returned, clearly perterbed by the call she had taken.

"Who the fuck does he think he is, well FUCK HIM AND HIS RASTA NOSE" said The Kilted Nun

"It's all falling apart isn't it you, MONGOOSE!" said CaptainWacky, chuckleing.

"SHUT UP, YOU AND YOU MF GANG WILL MEET THEIR END, when I blow up this building!" said The Kilted Nun revealing a bomb vest.

"HOLD THE CORK!" said CaptainWacky

To be continued...

 

[CaptainWacky]

THAT NUN!

 

[Dr Dave]

Episode 14: "Can't stop now, gotta fly a plane!"

Cassie speed up as she drove.

"How are we going to get in the Air Museum?" asked Tisiphone

"The only way we know how, we're going through the front door!" replied Cassie

The bus approached the museum. A guard out front noticed the bus coming and heard something

"For the love of god stop!!!!" shouted Whisky

Nobody inside could hear him as the bus crashed into the building. The guard dove out of the way and was knocked out, now the MF gang had to get that plane.

The gang got out of the bus

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE, GET ME OFF THIS THING!" shouted Whisky angerly

"Can't stop now, gotta fly a plane!" replied Dr Dave

"What kind of bomber should we take?" asked Fuddlemiff

"Avro Lancaster." said headvoid

"I like the FANCY NAME!" said Cassie adding "let's go!"

...

Meanwhile somewhere near Jamaica

A yacht sat anchored

A man sat.

He smiled

"Ya mon, it's all working out, If anybody gets to kill Cassie and Tisiphone, lady detectives it will be me, not some Kilted Nun" said The Mad Jamaican

...

"We're ready!" said Dr Dave

"Let's go!" shouted Cassie

"These bombs live?" asked Fuddlemiff

"They are now!" shouted Hambil

"It's HAMBIL!" shouted Cassie

To be continued...

 

[Dr Dave]

Anouncer: Coming up on the next episode...

"I feel I should quote Star Wars!" said Fuddlemiff

"I FEEL I SHOULD BOMB THOSE GEESE!" said Dr Dave

"Were going in!" said Hambil

"I'm still on this park bench, and they're flying into the building...I'm fucked!" said Loktar

"Bastards left me here..." said Whisky

"Ya mon, it's a beautiful thing. " said The Mad Jamacian

 

[CaptainWacky]

NOT HAMBIL!

 

[Dr Dave]

Episode 15: "Ya mon, it's a beautiful thing."

The plain took off and flew towards the final destination and the final battle with The Kilted Nun.

"Anybody hear about season 4 of Cat Cleaners, I hear they will be cleaning cats at a Star Wars convention, with The Champ punching out Billy D Williams" said Tomtrek

"I feel I should quote Star Wars!" said Fuddlemiff

"I FEEL I SHOULD BOMB THOSE GEESE!" said Dr Dave

Dr Dave, known for disliking geese began dropping some of the live bombs on a flock of geese at a local park.

"I hope we don't get billed for this!" said Tomtrek

"Don't worry, I left a note saying Parliament would pick up the tab!" replied Tisiphone

"HOLD ON!" shouted Dr Dave

"Were going in!" said Hambil

On the ground Loktar looked up in alarm as a bomber was flying directly towards him and the building

"I'm still on this park bench, and they're flying into the building...I'm fucked!" said Loktar

Elsewhere on top of the Bus at the air mesuem

"Bastards left me here..." said Whisky

...

The Mad Jamaican watched his HUGE TV, it was showing a bomber slowly pulling up and THE MF GANG para shooting through a skylight into the building.

"Ya mon, it's a beautiful thing." said The Mad Jamaican

To be continued...

 

[Dr Dave]

Announcer: Season 3 of The Cassie and Detective Team Adventures concludes next time!

"You're done Kilted Nun" said Cassie

"You NINNY!" Said CaptainWacky

 

[CaptainWacky]

"Ya mon" really makes the story come to life.

 

[Dr Dave]

Episode 16: "Fuck your limes, and your dimes Kilted Bitch!"

The MF gang came crashing though the sky lights surprising The Kilted Nun.

"WHAT THE HELL, NOOO!!!!!" shouted The Kilted Nun

"You're done Kilted Nun" said Cassie

"Like hell!" replied The Kilted Nun pulling out her cross shooting gun and firing. Everybody jumped out of the way

"You NINNY!" Said CaptainWacky

"I should have killed you when I took your images, YOUR FILTHY NON NUN IMAGES!" said The Kilted Nun

"Fuck your limes, and your dimes Kilted Bitch!" said CaptainWacky

"Wait I thought..." said Tisiphone

The Kilted Nun looked distracted, something was up.

"Just give up, and give CaptainWacky back his images!" said Cassie

"NEVER!" shouted The Kilted Nun, pulling a lever.

Suddenly a spiked shandaler fell down over Cassie, she looked up, startled, as it was about to hit her, Dr Dave pushed her out of the way. He was impaled.

"For...The West Wing..." said Dr Dave as he died.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Tisiphone as she dove forward and chopped off The Kilted Nun's head.

"Well that was over quickly" said Tomtrek

CaptainWacky ran over to a hard drive that was labled CaptainWacky's images. He checked it, and seeing they were all there hugged the hard drive.

The rest of the MF went over to Dr Dave, who was dead.

"He was the best Dr with a under score in his name I ever knew..." said CaptainWacky after he joined them.

"Who will give me pillzLOL now" asked Tisiphone adding "and who will appear in my bathroom."

"Hmm, what's this?" asked Cassie picking up a note.

The note read "Kilted Nun, you should have been jamm'n man, but you didn't and you lost my stash, the MF gang will end you, I will see too it" singed The Mad Jamaican.

"Who is this man?" asked FBI

"He could be worse then...The Chinaman!" said Tisiphone

...

Elsewhere on a yact...

The Mad Jamaican laughed in his Jamaican way.

"Ya mon...it all worked out." said The Mad Jamaican

The end!

 

[Dr Dave]

:bergman:

double post