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The Loktar kinkagou rumor thread

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Yub

Yub

Anachrophobic
You means after he rapes them, he murders them and then puts the bodies in a smoke house for later consumption?
 
Yub

Yub

Anachrophobic
How would he desiccate the kinkajou bodies for such a thing? It would probably be a long process, so if he wanted to keep himself supplied with enough desiccated kinkajou to smoke on even a semi-regular basis, he'd soon run out of kinkajous unless he either farmed them for that purpose or moved to their natural habitat.

To my knowledge he has not done the latter, which means somewhere LOKTAR HAS A FARM OF KINKAJOUS WHICH HE INTENDS TO RAPE, KILL AND DESICCATE, WITH THE FURTHER INTENT OF INHALING THE FUMES PRODUCED FROM THE IGNITION OF THE TINDER DRY CORPSES.

Frankly the only way I think this could be worse is if he used cute little babies or puppies.


LOKTAR, YOU ARE A CRIMINAL OF THE HIGHEST ORDER. FOR SHAME.
 
Yub

Yub

Anachrophobic
That was no kinkajou, it was a raccoon! A raccoon, I might add that has done it's time and been released back into the community and is now a successful secondhand car dealer!

No, there is no excusing Loktar's horrific crimes, no justifying his actions. He is a piece of of kinkajou murdering filth.
 
Yub

Yub

Anachrophobic
I bet he is sitting back right now, a kinkajou on his lap as he rolls up a desiccated kinkajou cigarette, a fresh cold beer in his custom made kinkajou beer stein as he trawls teh interwebs looking for hot kinkajou porn.

Later, after a hearty meal of roasted kinkajou [the same kinkajou that was on his lap! OMG] he'll travel to his kinkajou farm to drain his nutsack and collect a few new kinkajou virgins for molestation. Then he'll return to his abode, sleepy from the adventure and random kinkajou rape. Crawling into bed, he'll sleep soundly b'twixt his bedclothes made from kinkajou skins and his pillow, a stuffed kinkajou.

That monster.
 
Loktar

Loktar

Pinata Whacker
Yub said:
I bet he is sitting back right now, a kinkajou on his lap as he rolls up a desiccated kinkajou cigarette, a fresh cold beer in his custom made kinkajou beer stein as he trawls teh interwebs looking for hot kinkajou porn.

Later, after a hearty meal of roasted kinkajou [the same kinkajou that was on his lap! OMG] he'll travel to his kinkajou farm to drain his nutsack and collect a few new kinkajou virgins for molestation. Then he'll return to his abode, sleepy from the adventure and random kinkajou rape. Crawling into bed, he'll sleep soundly b'twixt his bedclothes made from kinkajou skins and his pillow, a stuffed kinkajou.

That monster.
Click to expand...

Monster, am I? You paid me to wipe out the kinkajous. You said they were the natural predator of the Ewoks. Whose the real monster, eh?
 
Yub

Yub

Anachrophobic
Don't try and shift the blame. The real truth is Ewoks live in harmony with the kinkajou, sometimes even marrying them and raising families. Loktar has rapped and killed the children of some well know and respected kinkajou! His lies and monstrous ways are know no limit!!
 
Loktar

Loktar

Pinata Whacker
Yub said:
Don't try and shift the blame. The real truth is Ewoks live in harmony with the kinkajou, sometimes even marrying them and raising families. Loktar has rapped and killed the children of some well know and respected kinkajou! His lies and monstrous ways are know no limit!!
Click to expand...


Its true, its all true.

*sobs*

*munches on some kinkajou jerky*
 
Loktar

Loktar

Pinata Whacker
Dark Pickle said:
It is said that the seventh son of the seventh son of the seventh kinkajou to win American Idol will rise up to slay Loktar!
Click to expand...

Luckily, kinkajous are notoriously bad singers.

(especially after I cut their throats out)
 
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