The make up better lies than Earlange does THREAD

[Yub]

I'm a secret agent of the Division of Intergalactic Control of Knowledge. We maintain the proper order of information in the universe. We fight ceaselessly against the forces of Tyrannical World Anarchy Team, who are always attempting to teach crickets to build nuclear weapons and make dogs talk and other pointless and evil attempts to misuse information.

Most days we are on missions but we like to rock out on our orbital space station. It orbits JUPITER, BITCHES. I bang hot space chicks on all my missions plus have a squad of sophisticated sex robots willing and able to sex me up ALL DAY AND NIGHT. OH YEAH. Plus I've a LICENCE TO KILL ANYONE, ANYWHERE and ANYTIME. It was me that shot ABRAHAM LINCOLN, he was a TWAT SPY and sold pies made of PUPPIES to NUNS.

 

[Mirah]

I am just a normal everyday person with a normal everyday life.

 

[jack]

Hell, back when I had hair, I was one of the kids on the towers that Wavy Gravy was yelling at to get off just before the big thunderstorm at Woodstock. Talk about Summer Of Love! I bet half the milf's at Woodstock fucked me. Why do you think they call them "boomers" ? (that's the nickname I made up btw, guess it stuck)

I also sucked Jimi's cock while he played the Star Spangled Banner at that gig, and still have some of his come (YES I SAVED IT!!!WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM AN IDIOT??) IN A JAR. i SELL BITS OF IT ON EbAY FOR A GOOD PRICE EVERY NOW AND THEN. Whops, sorry, I got so excited my caps lock got syuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111 I also misspelled that word intemtionally.

what else? I'm just getting started.

 

[Ange]

I'm a secret agent of the Division of Intergalactic Control of Knowledge. We maintain the proper order of information in the universe. We fight ceaselessly against the forces of Tyrannical World Anarchy Team, who are always attempting to teach crickets to build nuclear weapons and make dogs talk and other pointless and evil attempts to misuse information.

Most days we are on missions but we like to rock out on our orbital space station. It orbits JUPITER, BITCHES. I bang hot space chicks on all my missions plus have a squad of sophisticated sex robots willing and able to sex me up ALL DAY AND NIGHT. OH YEAH. Plus I've a LICENCE TO KILL ANYONE, ANYWHERE and ANYTIME. It was me that shot ABRAHAM LINCOLN, he was a TWAT SPY and sold pies made of PUPPIES to NUNS.

The Royal Celestial Air Force is many, many times vaster than all the national air forces of this planet combined. It is a division of the High Command of Light. As such, its strength is greater than any military force this planet has ever beheld.

 

[Ange]

Ange is a Super Dis-Tructive multiple life form that roams the Universe in search of wholesome brains to devour. The presence of Ange signifies intense levels of ultramundane energies and dimensional rifts and when detected evokes the joyfully horrific "OH, NO!"

 

[Loktar]

I'm fucking my way through the alphabet.