The Official "Canada Sucks" Thread

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I love his version of "history" though.

If it wasn't for the 8 hour's I have to drive from here in upstate NY to the NYC, I'd gladly give him a nice helping of real history.

 

[Starship Coyote]

I see now it's time for you to receive a lesson in history. If you'd like to compare brainpans: I hold a Masters in American History from Tulane with an emphasis on military history. I also heavily specialized in European history with emphasis on British history (both ancient and modern), Russian history, and the rise of the Prussian state leading to the First German Empire and the development of Nazi Germany. I'll be the first to admit I don't know dick about Frnech history except how it relates to the emergence of modern Europe and its interactions with England/Britain, Germany, and the United States. My two European history professors were not Americans. Their last names were Duffy and Baker, so I'll let you guess what island nation once the seat of an empire they came from. I will say that they opened my eyes to a lot of things.

I make my living by selling antiques, but I specialize in American military antiques...particularly those from the American Civil War.

So come to daddy for your lessons. :bigass:

Uh, I live in present-day 'YORK'. By the way, the attack on York was the equivalent of Japan's sneak-attack on Pearl Harbour. Yet you whine to the world about that cowardly sneak attack. It is alright for you to do it but not for the Japanese? Hypocrites.

The difference being, of course, that the Japanese attacked before Pearl Harbor even knew they were at war. The attack on York, on the other hand, was the culmination of a few military campaigns that admitted had not gone well for the American troops.

You people need to understand history.

See the beginning of this post.

The Colonies rebelled because they did not wish to pay taxes to Britain even though the motherland sent out its navy and ground forces to protect the USA from both the French and the Indians. The Colonies wanted this protection for free. All Britain wanted was for the Colonies to share in the costs of their own protection. You rebelled. You wanted your cake and eat it. You wanted the people of Great Britain to pay your way and when they refused you cried like the spoiled babies you were.

As usual, you're telling half-truths.

American colonists had no problem being British subjects. They had no problem paying taxes for protection from the French and the native population...such as it was. The problem was with excessive taxes. See...mastery of the North American continent for the British during the Seven Years War came at a price: near bankruptcy. So, Parliament (yes, Parliament) undertook a measure of heavily taxing the entire empire as it stood in order to offset the cost of maintaining the largest and most professional standing army of its time. The problem in the eastern seaboard American colonies was: the British troops stationed there at the time (more in America than even in Britain itself!) could not provide an adequate and mobile defense for the entire region. Thus, colonists formed militias capable of defending outlying settlements from Indian attacks and whatnot.

Now, Parliament didn't take these militias seriously; "militia" in Britain meant "old men who got together once a year, got drunk, did some marching and went home." They simply didn't grasp that the American militia were not only well trained but well armed with hunting rifles which were the equivalent of the British "Brown Bess."

And they knew how to use them.

When militia and British troops began to clash in 1775, the general hope among the American population and the Continental Congress was that reconciliation could be reached. By '76, that hope had basically disappeared, and the general aim now was independence for the colonies. A shocking concept, and not one that was taken lightly.

So, bottom line: saying that Americans rebelled due to taxes is taking it only half-way. In truth, the payment of excessive taxes to cover the cost of something that a) Americans were basically providing for themselves with an effectiveness the British regulars could not or would not provide, and b) did not take into account the material contributions that the colonies were already making to the Empire in the way of foodstuffs, timber for ships, etc., is what drove the governments of the American colonies into rebellion. Compound that with the fact that the colonists had grown used to governing themselves due to the long time it took to receive communications from Parliament, it's all very easy to see.

Then you went over to France, kneeled down before Louis IV and sucked his cock every day for 2 years before he decided to send his best troops to fight a cause you were losing.

Actually, it was Louis XVI, Franklin really didn't get to see him that much until American troops started winning victories (more on that later), and I believe it was Ben himself who was getting pleasured by the French ladies, but perhaps that was just a Freudian slip on your part. I dunno.

It was not until the arrival of these crack French troops you started to actually win some battles.

Ok, the Treaty of Alliance with France was signed in February of 1778. By then, the American force had:

- March 17, 1776: drove the British out of Boston
- December 25, 1776: the capture of 1500 British and Hessian troops at Trenton NJ.
- January 3, 1777: victory at the Battle of Princeton
- Benedict Arnold defeated the British at Ridgefield, CT (oh boy :roll
- August 17, 1777: American militia defeat and capture 800 Hessians from Burgoyne's little foray at Bennington VT.
- October 7, 1777: British are defeated at Saratoga.
- 10 days later, Burgoyne surrenders 5700 British troops to Gates. This is what convinced the French we had a chance of winning.

(And yes: Washington lost some crucial battles too: New York, Brandywine Creek, White Plains...several others.)

So you see, we had to convince the French that our cause was a winnable one. After the asswhipping they took from the British during the Seven Years War, Louis was not inclined to support anyone against the Empire without a reasonable chance of winning.

One must be reminded the British were introduced to guerilla warfare for the first time by the colonials.

Actually, one (meaning you) must be reminded that the American style of guerilla warfare arose during the American phase of the Seven Years War by a British subject named Robert Rogers...who formed Rogers' Rangers in 1756 to operate under royal orders against the French during the "French and Indian War" as we call it. The atrocities introduced by both sides during that conflict (and I believe it was the British who started paying Indians for scalps) far exceed any atrocities real or imagined during the American Revolution. Now that was a real war...none of this pussy "form ranks and deliver volleys" crap you see later.

Did I mention that I'm an ex-US Army Ranger? I didn't? Welllllll...now you know.

They were also introduced to barbarism. Captured British generals were hung or had their heads decapitated. This threw off the British who believe in the gentleman's art of war. Never had Britain in its 800 years of fighting wars ever experienced such barbarism. Even the European powers were disgusted and began to understand why the Empire decided to give the Colonies their independence. The British did not wish to have anything further to do with such a psychotic peoples. The Americans today talk about their 'brave' lads fighting the Empire. What was so brave about hit-and-run tactics where they used their own women and children as shields?

I'm unaware of anyone using women and children as shields in any fight, and I tend to dismiss this whole paragraph as simply smear tactics instead of real history. Use of such words as "barbarism" and "psychotic" tends to support this. Ho-hum.

Actually you LOST the War of 1812 MORON. You lost badly.

Hmmm...well, there were three initial campaigns in Canada, which all ended in failure, but what about:

- The Battle of York in April of 1813, which secured control of the Great Lakes for the US
- Sept. 1813: Captain Perry defeated a British naval force in the Battle of Lake Erie
- Oct. 1813: Battle of Thames...another American victory
- 1814: the Brits stage a three-prong attack of the US through Chesapeake Bay, Lake Champlain, and the Mississippi River...all of which failed, although some British troops landed in Washington DC in August and set government buildings on fire in retaliation for York.
- Battle of Plattsburgh on Lake Champlain. Brits were defeated there and this secured the northern border for us.

So, in December of 1814, the Treaty of Ghent set all borders back to pre-war standards. If we were beaten so badly, then why would the British government agree to pre-war boundaries? Probably because their only successes were capturing Detroit (and as far as I'm concerned, you can still have it) and burning some government buildings.

We had possession of the Great Lakes and all of the American cities around them. We returned them only as part of an agreement whereby pre-1812 borders were honoured. The only reason the British agreed to this was because of their problems with Napoleon's Grande Armee.

How would a threat by Napolean persuade the British to agree to pre-war boundaries?

On the side: you're leaving something out: the fact that the fledgling American navy kicked the living shit out of the established British navy over and over again. Just thought I'd mention that.

Your military was a pathetic joke we were not too concerned about and wanted to deal with a REAL army. Never forget, you STARTED the War of 1812 and remain upset to this day that you lost it and you KNOW Napoleon saved your asses. It is a fact if not for Napoleon the USA would be today a CAnadian province.

More rhetoric and no substance.

Uh yes, Canadians did in fact fight in the War of 1812. Canadians were part of the Empire you dipshit. During 1812, it was Upper Canada and Lower Canada. The Canadian militia (a real organisation) fought alongside the British and many were actually integrated into the British military. So yes Canadians can and do say we kicked your asses in 1812. Never forget it. We remain the only territory to ever defeat the USA on your own native soil.

Canadian regiments do not equal British regiments. The deciding factor for American losses when invading Canadian territory was that we suffered the same fate any invader does when going into large amounts of enemy territory...the local population. Did Canada itself defend itself against American invasions? Except for that unpleasantness at York and the loss of the Great Lakes to American ships, yes. Canada did quite well.

But being part of the Empire doesn't mean Canadian militia were equal to or even considered equal to British regulars. Study the treatment of American militias by the British regulars during the Seven Years War for a good perspective of that situation.

Edit to add: as far as Canada being the only entity to defeat Americans on American soil, I believe the Japanese would take exception to that: Hawaii, Guam and the Philippines.

 

[szhismine]

history lesson = boring.

 

[Starship Coyote]

history lesson = boring.

Well, that was more of my time than he deserves...until Lucy learns to read history impartially, he'll never get it. Just wanted to let him know someone else thinks he's full of crap.

 

[SaintLucifer]

Timeline of the US Revolution:

1763 - Treaty signed between England and France ending the French and Indian War. Canada and the continent east of the Mississippi River added to Great Britain's growing empire.

1765 - Parliament passes The Stamp Act as a means to pay for British troops on the American frontier. Colonists violently protest the measure.

1766 - March 18. Stamp Act repealed, but on the same day parliament passes the Declaratory Act asserting its right to make laws binding on the colonies.

1768 - October. British troops arrive in Boston to enforce customs laws.

1773 - December. Massachusetts patriots dressed as Mohawk Indians protest the British Tea Act by dumping crates of tea into Boston Harbor.

1775 - April. Shots fired at Lexington and Concord. "Minute Men" force British troops back to Boston. George Washington takes command of the Continental Army.

1776 - January. Thomas Paine's Common Sense published. Becomes an instant best seller and pushes the colonies closer to independence. July 4. Thomas Jefferson's Declaration of Independence ratified by the Congress. July. A British force arrives in New York harbor bent on crushing the rebellion. August. Continental Army routed at Long Island, New York. December 26. Washington crosses the Delaware River and captures a Hessian force at Trenton, New Jersey. December. In desperate need of financing and arms, Congress sends Benjamin Franklin to France to urge the French to ally with America. (hmm, I thought assface said the Americans did not visit France until AFTER several American victories yet they defeated a nothing Hessian force??????????? Booya. Told you he was full of shit.)

1777 - July. A British force led by John Burgoyne takes Fort Ticonderoga in a devastating loss to the Americans. The Marquis de Lafayette arrives in America. Washington defeated at Brandywine (September 11) and Germantown (October 4). Philadelphia is lost to the British. October 17. Americans capture Burgoyne and his army at Saratoga.

1780 - British attack Charleston, South Carolina. City falls in May. 1780-'81 Americans lose a series of engagements in the south.

1781 - October 19. A miraculous
convergence of American and French forces traps Lord Cornwallis at Yorktown, Virginia. He surrenders his British army.

1783 - September. A peace treaty is signed between Great Britain and the United States.

Battle of Yorktown
In July 1780, about 5,500 French soldiers led by Lieutenant General Jean Rochambaeu, arrived in America. George Washington still hoped to force the troops from Britain out of New York City in an operation combined with France. Washington learned that an enormous fleet from France headed toward Virginia in August 1781. The fleet was under Admiral Francois Grasse. He planned to prevent Cornwallis from escaping by ocean, by obstructing Chesapeake Bay. The French forces, led by Rochambeau, and the American forces under Washington hurried southward to capture Cornwallis on land. Admiral Grasse battled a naval force from Britain that sailed from New York to Chesapeake Bay's mouth in the beginning of September. The British then returned to New York to repair after several days of battle. An allied French and American force of approximately 18,000 sailors and soldiers encircled Cornwallis at Yorktown by the end of September 1781. On the night of October 16th, Cornwallis tried to bring his forces over the York River to safety. A storm had driven them back which caused Cornwallis to capitulate the next day. On October 19, 1781, Cornwallis surrendered.

18,000 sailors and soldiers against 4,000 British soldiers. Ooooh, big defeat. Everyone knows the USA would still be British today if not for the French. Look at those numbers my American children. Pfftt. Yes, you are right. You were defeating the British before the arrival of the French. Allllllllrrrriiiiigggghhhttt. LOL. Everywhere I see in the battle reports American/French forces were two to three times the size of their British counterparts. Yet the British still almost succeeded in destroying the rebellion. They would have succeeded if not for the entire French Navy showing up in Yorktown. By the way, true guerilla warfare was started by the Americans at Charleston. Perhaps you should have those two history professors fired yes? MORON. Never speak of British history to a Briton.

 

[Ishcabittle]

OMG LUCY JUST KEEPS GETTING FUNNIEER!!!

 

[SaintLucifer]

OMG LUCY JUST KEEPS GETTING FUNNIEER!!!

Truth hurts yes? Americans are a silly lot. Every time they claim to have done something on their own it is to lie. They did not fight their own Revolution. They are the only country on earth who can make this claim. They did not fight on their own in both World Wars and they waited until the foes they were to face would be defeated. I laugh every time an American points out the Japanese. Compared to the Nazis the Japanese were a joke. Fighting for itty-bitty nothing islands at a very high cost in human lives is an even greater joke. Let us not forget you did not truly defeat the Japanese as you were forced to develop a weapon with most of the work coming from Canadian scientists. Had you not developed the atomic bomb you would have continued to fight the Japanese and more than likely sued for peace in order to stem the flow of Americans to an early grave. The USA likes to brag about its military prowess. I should like to ask 'what military prowess?'. You have been defeated by nothing nations. Korea. Vietnam. Somalia. Iraq. When you fight a REAL foe then perhaps you may take a stab and bragging. You are not a superpower nor have you ever been. A superpower is a nation who has fought with enemies of equal or greater strength and won. You cannot make such a claim. The foes you fought were military midgets. Strange that you would attack Iraq AFTER the fall of the Soviet Union. Strange that you would not send your military to rescue Afghanistan from the Communists as you did in Vietnam and Korea. Why? In all of your conflicts you never faced Soviet forces thus you felt a semblance of bravery. You knew in Afghanistan you would actually be forced to face Soviet forces. Is that COWARDICE I smell in the air? Same reason you left Somalia. Watch Black Hawk Down and come talk to me. I remember reading about those Somalis dragging that American gunship pilot around after they shot the thing down. How quickly you Americans left after that.
Canada has never lost a war. Ever. Keep that in mind.

 

[Starship Coyote]

Wow...someone learned to cut and paste. And I spent all that time typing from my education. :roll:

Everyone knows the USA would still be British today if not for the French. Look at those numbers my American children. Pfftt. Yes, you are right. You were defeating the British before the arrival of the French. Allllllllrrrriiiiigggghhhttt. LOL. Everywhere I see in the battle reports American/French forces were two to three times the size of their British counterparts. Yet the British still almost succeeded in destroying the rebellion. They would have succeeded if not for the entire French Navy showing up in Yorktown. By the way, true guerilla warfare was started by the Americans at Charleston. Perhaps you should have those two history professors fired yes? MORON. Never speak of British history to a Briton.

If a Briton wants to discuss history, then I'll do it.

Give Burgoyne my regards.

 

[SaintLucifer]

Wow...someone learned to cut and paste. And I spent all that time typing from my education. :roll:



If a Briton wants to discuss history, then I'll do it.

Give Burgoyne my regards.

I just did dear child and destroyed all of your arguments in the process. It is known both in Canada and Britain that your silly little revolt stemmed from a refusal to pay for Continental protection. Ironically enough yours was the only imperial territory to resist the tax measures. No other territory did because they knew it was for their own good. I love how individuals claim the British took foodstuffs and timber etc. back to Britain. No, no children. The British PURCHASED that stuff. It is called TRADE. Many Americans have used the same arguments to the annoyance of Britons who know the truth. If we so desired we would simply have taken by force such goods. Who would pay for their transport? Their storage? The military had enough expenses to deal with. Try to think for once. You just did not wish to pay your fair share of taxes. In fact there were calls for an end to all taxes in the Colonies whilst expecting the Empire to foot the bill for your protection. MORONS & COWARDS.

 

[Starship Coyote]

You destroyed my arguments? Oh. Ok.

Actually, you destroyed what remained of your credibility on this board from what I can see.

I dub thee St. Lucy Up The Spout. Rise and take your oath...from this point on, you exist purely as an example to others.

 

[SaintLucifer]

You destroyed my arguments? Oh. Ok.

Actually, you destroyed what remained of your credibility on this board from what I can see.

I dub thee St. Lucy Up The Spout. Rise and take your oath...from this point on, you exist purely as an example to others.

Yes. I wounded your feelings. Struck a nerve hence the resort to attempted insults on your part. LOL.

 

[Starship Coyote]

 

[Sarek]

Actually, you destroyed what remained of your credibility on this board from what I can see.

Oh no. That was gone along time ago.

 

[SaintLucifer]

Just saw the news. Love it. The US humane society and many other socialist groups made a list of restaurants and companies who claim to be boycotting Canadian sea products. Those companies showed surprise at their names showing up on those boycott lists against Canada. They even threatened to sue those American do-gooders. Americans bullshitting the world? Nooooo. Really? LOL. This came as absolutely no surprise to me. All this to protest something Americans know fuck-all about, our seal hunt. Why do Americans yap about something they know nothing? Shut the fuck up and mind your own business.

 

[Ishcabittle]

Keep flappin' yer jaws, you cunt.

 

[SaintLucifer]

Keep flappin' yer jaws, you cunt.

Oooh, a threat. After seeing Americans in action in Iraq I cannot say American threats bother me in the least. It is like a mouse squeaking at me loudly in a wasted attempt to frighten me. Since Iraq no foreign national will ever fear an American again. LOL.

 

[Ishcabittle]

Oooh, a threat. LOL.

lol indeed you ass!!! You can't tell the difference between a command and a threat!!! LOL FUCK INING LOL INDEEDD>?@

 

[Ishcabittle]

After seeing Americans in action in Iraq I cannot say American threats bother me in the least. LOL.

What makes you think I'm american? Quote me where I say I'm american. Fucking LOL indeed!

 

[Tyrant]

Oooh, a threat. After seeing Americans in action in Iraq I cannot say American threats bother me in the least. It is like a mouse squeaking at me loudly in a wasted attempt to frighten me. Since Iraq no foreign national will ever fear an American again. LOL.

When Canadians get mad, their faces get redden, they stomp in disapproval, and announce [insert here] to be un-Canadian. When Americans get mad, cities are destroyed, populations are displaced, and thousands lay dead. LOL.

 

[SaintLucifer]

When Canadians get mad, their faces get redden, they stomp in disapproval, and announce [insert here] to be un-Canadian. When Americans get mad, cities are destroyed, populations are displaced, and thousands lay dead. LOL.

Which cities or populations did Americans destroy?? Imagining things again are we? The Vietcong made you Americans angry. Oopsy. Meaningless for they kicked your ass. The Koreans made you angry. Ditto. Damn Somalis and their kiddies armed with AKs kicked you out even though they knew you were angry at them. The Iraqis knew you were angry at them. The Iraqis knew all about the 2400 (currently dead) Americans who were angry at them. LOL. Oooh, the big, bad Americans. Watch out lest they destroy your cities and people. Wait, they have never done this.