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TKR Story Hour: The Lady In The Basement

A dash of lime juice, sweetened. 3 ice cubes. Two or three ounces, Captain Morgan Lime Bite. 7 to 9 ounces Monster Energy drink. All of that = pleasant buzz. :)
 
It's been a rocking morning already. The smell of pwnership is like a BONFIRE.

It's fucking hilarious, actually.
 
And as Jack says, there's more to CUM

I think the next section will be in the form of brief journal entries detailing the physical and mental deterioration of Jack's VIP.
 
Caaaaiiiiit? Would you do me a huge favor? I can't register at SC for some reason, but would you let this guy:

RJDiogenes said:
Creepy. Very reminiscent of vintage Stephen King. Brrr.
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Know that that's probably the best compliment I've ever been paid? :bigass: Seriously, that right there just totally made my day. :)
 
The Saint said:
Gosh, we haven't heard from Eloisel about it, yet. Does she like it, I wonder? :)
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I neither read nor write in the snuff genre. If you wish a critique on the mechanics, I would be happy to oblige. Just ask and I will send you a critique via PM. At just a glance, I see some things right off -
1. Who are these people and why should I care about them? The male character is clearly a psycho and the female character is just a lump in a chair - any old body would do.
2. The use of "orange" lighting seems over used to me and not nearly as effective as the shadows a naked low watt bulb would cast into the corners of that dank cellar, illuminating her pale, grimey face, eyes squinting against the glare of even that soft light as she'd been in the dark for days.
3. I'd put some clothes on the victim and allow her some movement, even if it is pointless. The psycho comes back to the cellar and sees she had been conscious at one point, long enough to knock her chair over, or she'd struggled against her restraints, leaving a rope burn on her arm visible under a wadded up bit of sleeve. His victim needs to at least try otherwise she was dead long before he got hold of her.
4. It wouldn't be dust but grime in a dank, damp cellar.
5. When did he untie her before whacking her in the head with a shovel so she'd fall - without the chair - into the shallow grave?
6. The bed bugs would have died once the hot water was dumped onto her as the thermal layers of the wool blankets would increase the heat of the water from approx 100 degrees (temp needed to have steam) to at least 115, which would kill the bed bugs. Crawl factor averted.
7. However, with the thermal affect of the hot water soaked wool blanket, she'd have quickly suffered fatal burns over more than 90% of her body, including major damage to her vital organs. Additionally, she would be dead or at the very least brain dead from a heat stroke rather quickly after the dousing. All that metal cutlery gone to waste.
8. It reads a bit pedestrian to me but it seems to have satisfied your patron and intended audience. However, as I mentioned above, I neither read nor write snuff so maybe this is standard fare for that type of thing. And, the above is probably a draft and the story is not finished so maybe there is a miracle. The lump in the chair, having died, comes back as a vengeful spirit haunting that psycho for the rest of his days, which he spends cutting himself with his wasted cutery in hopes of bleeding her out from under his skin. Or, maybe her hippie friends hunt the psycho down, take him out to the desert, tie him naked to a cactus and give him nine hits of acid. With his intended victim dead early and more to be written, all kinds of stuff might happen.
 
Well, to point 1, the protagonist and antagonist are meant to be Jack and you. Since I don't know your rl descriptions, nor do I want to name names within the work, and since exacting detail isn't really a necessity beyond depicting the physical and emotional tension, I deliberately left their particulars vague.

The rest are good points and will be addressed in a polished draft somewhere down the road. I would also point out that this isn't snuff, at least not technically. Nobody dies "on screen", as it were. Torture porn, maybe, but not snuff.
 
By the way, if any of you would like to commission a story where a female torturer inflicts horrific suffering on a male victim, I actually write that kind of story all the time. lol
 
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