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Wacky Reviews: Doctor Who

The Eleventh Hour - This episode has to introduce us to a new Doctor and a new companion and is a massive success in both regards. The opening sequence with the Doctor and young Amelia is brilliant. Matt Smith seems like the Doctor right from the start and the actress playing young Amelia (I think she was Karen Gillan's cousin or something?) does a great job. This Doctor is childlike in ways, but not childish (that sounded clever so I typed it) and viewing it through the eyes of the little girl let's us all be children again (that did too.) It's a magical fairytale but also he's the Doctor and he might accidentally go away for twelve years. Then we have Karen Gillan as Amy and I think she does a great job and the episode does a great job selling her character. She plays Amy as slightly crazy which makes sense given her childhood, but also a person you'd want to be friends with. Rory is good in a supporting role. The episode is fast-paced but in an energetic way and not in the annoying gloss over the details way of some later Moffat episodes. Patrick Moore is a fun cameo!

Prisoner Zero and the flying eyebals are fine one-off enemeis. Not all time greats or anything but compare it to say 'Smith And Jones' which had a similar prisoner on the loose and intergalactic police force story. This is better. Olivia Colman is very good as Prisoner Zero. The scene with the Doctor calling the eyeballs back to say "yes I AM the Doctor deal with it" (after stepping through Tennant's face) really works.

The part where Prisoner Zero says "The Pandorica will open! Silence will fall!" is slightly disappointing as it's very similar to the way RTD used to have random characters say the "arc words" to the Doctor and really how would Prisoner Zero know about both these things (I guess he's been around for thousands of years and picked them up.) But we have our series long (longer as it turned out) mystery!

Moffat Things: I like Moffat's writing (I have given every episode he's written so far a 9 or higher!) but he does repeat ideas sometimes (as all writers do) so I'm going to point them out. NOT SAYING it's bad though. The thing with him meeting Amy when she was a little girl then coming back later in her life is of course quite similar to 'The Girl In The Fireplace' but it's one of the recurring themes of the series (the way the Doctor leaves people behind without meaning to) and it really well done here. The Doctor's final speech is kind of similar to "you're in a library, look me up!" but again it's perfect in this episode.

SCORE: 9/10
 
The Beast Below - This episode starts off great with Amy floating in space then the introduction of England of flying through space. It's a very intriguing set-up with lots of interesting elements. The Smilers look nice creepy, we've got someone called LizTen who we later find out is the Queen running about, there's people with rings that give off poisoned gas. It's good stuff! Matt Smith is very Doctorlike and Karen Gillan gives a good performance.

But the ending didn't really live up to the set-up to me. The torture of the space whale is a nice (if familiar REMEMBER THE GREAT 'ENCOUNGER AT FARPOINT'?) story but the way Amy just instantly hits the "abdicate" button as soon as she figures things out is a bit silly. Like she could have just told the Doctor what she'd realised without risking the lives of everyone. It's not like they were in a hurry as it had all been going on for over two hundred years. Also the all the interesting elements that were set-up don't really come together. At the start there's a boy sent down below by an evil-faced Smiler as punishment but as the beast doesn't eat children (as they must surely know after two hundred years) why do they even send him below? Then there's the bit where Amy and the Doctor are in the beast's mouth and get washed out of it into some overflow tube, but at the very end we see that its mouth is much bigger and that it opens onto space (okay it could have had a second internal mouth or something.) And what does the revealation that the posion-ring people are "half Smiler" even mean?

It's still a good episode, and it did make me think (which is good!), but imagine if it had been Moffat's only episode this series and he'd had the time to polish the script a bit more.

SCORE: 7.75/10
 
Victory Of The Daleks - I really like the start with the Daleks pretending to be nice and serving tea and everything. I would have liked this part to go on a bit longer, really, as I enjoyed it more than the middle part. But the ending with the spitfires in space is pretty cool. It's a fun episode on the whole. Feels a bit short?

It is of course amusing when the new Daleks come out and kill the old Daleks and it's really saying "THESE ARE THE DALEKS NOW!" Except they're not as I don't think they were ever really used properly again after this. They do look like fat Daleks to me. I guess people didn't like the bright colours either. They're okay. We don't really see them in action much so it's hard to tell how they would have been.

There's a kind of subplot where a girl is sad at the start because her boyfriend is missing then crying at the end because he's dead. But she doesn't interact with Amy or the Doctor at all so it's weird.

If the cracks are in space and not actually in walls, why do they always appear to be in walls?

SCORE: 7.25/10
 
He was young, I reckon the 200 years older bit in day of the moon was to explain how much older he looked than when he started.
 
The Time Of Angels - River's back and she's a bit more River-like here. But not to the point of being bad, thankfully, as the before credits scene is really a lot of fun and quite clever and amusing. Then there's some nice location shooting when they land on the planet, then Jorah Mormont shows up. I like Iain Glen but sadly I think he's always made to change his accent whenever he gets cast in anything as he sounds a bit weird here and it's slightly distracting.

The scene with Amy and the recording of the angel is really good and I like how Amy solves the problem herself. (How come no one ended up with an Angel in their eye in Blink though?)

The reveal that all the statues are angels is good. Then there's the Angel Bob bit. Now this is creepy and well done, but falls under MOFFAT STUFF as it's totally derivative of the part in the library two-parter where the shadow monsters start talking through the dead woman. It's still good here though.

The Doctor's speech at the end is strong even though I remember it being slightly ruined at the time by being in the trailer that was shown on the BBC about 50 times. Also Netflix take the ridiculous decison to edit out the key appearance by an animated Graham Norton, robbing the ending of much of its power.

SCORE: 8.5/10

Flesh And Stone - After part one was all about the threat of the Angels, now the main threat is the Crack in time and it feels a bit jarring to me. Like I appreciate that the Crack was established in the first three episodes of the series and I like that the story arc isn't just mentioning some words every episode. But I really think there should have been some mention of hint of the crack in part one. Some ominous moment where we see it. Because watching this just as a two part story it makes the episodes feel a bit disconnected.

Also there's the part where we see the Angels move. I really don't see why they put that in. The part with Amy having to walk through the forest is a good tense scene and I don't know why they thought "let's let the viewers see the Angels move!" would make it better. Also remember in Blink how the Angels couldn't look at each other and had to cover their eyes when they didn't move for fear of turning each other into stone? That seems to have been forgotten here. I know you can say "WELL THEY WERE DIFFERENT ANGELS" but that seems like a bit of a copout. (Oh and actually being able to trick the Angels by pretending you can see them even if you have your eyes shut? Whatevs.)

It's still a good episode with strong performances by Matt and Karen and Alex and Octavion's death scene is good and I liked the treeborgs and there's lots of other great moments.

Amy goes all crazy trying to seduce the Doctor at the end. It's very broad. I know I praised Amy being slightly crazy in The 11th Hour but this is much more than slightly crazy. It's still an amusing scene anyway.

There's also what seems like an extra long preview of the next episode for some reason.

SCORE: 8/10
 
The Vampires Of Venice - This is a good fun episode. The teaser with the Doctor jumping out of the cake is amusing and a good reintroduction to Rory, who works well in the episode. The Amy/Rory relationship stuff isn't too overpowering and they're good together. She doesn't actually apologise to him for trying to shag (okay they say it was just a kiss but she obviously wanted a shag) the Doctor the night before their wedding though. But hey she looks hot undercover in vampire school (and yes pale vampire girls good as well.) And they're not vampires anyway they're evil alien fish things. The scenes with the Doctor confornting the alien fish queen are good. Not quite as good as the very similar scene in School Reunion (by the same writer) with the Doctor and Anthony Head, but nobody's as good as Anthony Head really (and the fish woman actress is good anyway.) It's a funny and fun episode, but it's not as out wacky comedy. It is a bit werid that both Isabella and her father die noble deaths sacrificing themselves for our main characters and then they're not mentioned again. And what's with the "listening to the silence" bit at the end? And if the fish planet did fall in a crack in time wouldn't all the fish aliens have forgotten about it? And why does fish woman take her clothes off at the end when her clothes are just a hologram? And the CGI isn't good. But it's a good episode on the whole!

SCORE: 7.5/10
 
I remember this being a poor episode, but I do remember the Doctor looking really pissed off and mean, and for the first time it made me feel like you might not want to get into a fight with Matt Smith.
 
Amy's Choice - This is a really good episode. The script is really good. Simon Nye should write another episode. There's lots of funny lines effortlessly woven in (I guess because he's a sit-com writer) but it's also creepy and and full of great character moments. It also has a great one episode guest star in Toby Jones, who is perfect as the Dream Lord. So it is pretty obvious that the Amy pregnant stuff is a dream. I don't think the viewer is really supposed to be fooled by it as right from the start there's an unreal feeling to it. And cold star stuff being a dream is possible to figure out too. But really, even though the episode is called 'Amy's Choice' the episode is a trip inside the darkside of the Doctor's mind. I don't even mind the revelation that part of him does desire Amy and wants her to choose Rory over him, because it's presented in a creepy alien way rather than a soap opera David Tennant/Billie Piper way. That's not to say the Amy and Rory part of the story isn't great too, with an excellent performance from Karen Gillan ("Then what good are you?"), probably her best yet. Even the chase/actiony bits are good because they involve scary old people. Old people are scary enough even without alien things sticking out their mouths. This episode has everything I want from a Doctor Who episode.

SCORE: 9/10
 
The Hungry Earth - I think coming after Amy's Choice makes this episode seems even duller, because where that script sparkled and was constantly funny or interesting, this is the dullest episode since that David Tennant guy. Maybe it's not fair to just blame the script (though it is awful) and I should blame the director too? But I never pay attention to who's directing. So I'll just blame Chris "I've never written a good Doctor Who episode" Chibnal. Also it's in Wales so the accents are annoying.

It's amazing how dull even The Doctor, Amy and Rory seem when they don't have a decent script. The Doctor is good in the scene with the child because Matt Smith is always great acting with children, but then he just lets the child to run off to get headphones even though there's a minute left on the countdown. There's a bit where Rory finds out about bodies disappearing from graves that doesn't come up again. The mystery of what's going on is presented in the most boring way possible. Amy is eaten by soil and it s like "so what." It picks up a bit when the Silurian woman finally shows up and the actress is pretty good (which is why they got her back as Vastra even though that confused me at the time I guess) but the character's boringly "I will kill all humans hahahaha!" But there's a big lizard people city under the Earth so maybe it'll pick up in part two?

SCORE: 4.5/10

Cold Blood - No, it doesn't. This one starts with a voiceover for no fucking reason. There's literally no reason. There's an evil alien doctor doing medical experiments on humans while they're still alive. Except later in the episode he actually turns out to be nice and the Doctor's all "HUMANS ARE THE REAL MONSTERS". Which is stupid. Okay the Silurians thought they were being attacked by the surface world. But they didn't have to be such dicks about it. The scenes with the Silurian woman taunting the humans into killing her (why?) are supposed to be tense but they don't work at all. The poisoned guy actually tells her he'll help her escape if she heals him. But then when his daughter accidentally kills the Silurian he's all "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT YOUR SON WILL DIE NOW." Which he didn't seem to care about a minute ago. Anyway he stays underground with his wife because he's got green veins now. The Siluarians go back to sleep because their leader says "we're too thick to wake up now" or something but there's still another voiceover about the Doctor saving them all and turning the Earth into Human/Siluarian paradise.

Oh, then Rory dies. If I thought the Crack showing up in the second half of the Angels two-parter was slightly jarring, this is more jarring than Jar Jar. Amy and Rory have been apart for most of the two episodes then he gets shot to save the Doctor and the Crack erases him from all of time and space and it's like he's never been born. That's a bit harsh! The Doctor reaches into the Crack but his hand isn't ereased from all of time and space (I guess the erasing light takes a while to show up.) Amy forgets Rory even though she didn't forget the Angels and the soliders in the Angels episode. At the time the Doctor said that was because she's a time traveller and sees the world differently now, so why does she forget Rory? Okay there's a line saying it's because she knew Rory from her life before time travel. But really if they were planning to do this they should have just had Amy forget the stuff in the Angels episode too. Having her remember some things and forget other things makes it needlessly complicated. Anyway it's obvious Rory's going to be back in the finale so this isn't really sad at all.

SCORE: 4/10
 
Vincent And The Doctor - So this is different from the usual historical figure episodes as it's a full study of the character rather than just having the character show up for a fun adventure. Tony Curran does a great job as Van Gogh. Karen Gillan is also particularly strong here. The invisible alien as a metaphor for mental illness is a good idea. Not sure why the Doctor is all "THAT IS THE FACE OF EVIL!" at the start though. I like the use of colours. So then there's the ending. I don't like the pop song really. I liked Fuddlemiff's suggestion four years ago of using the Don McLean song. Bill Nighy is always great...the "greatest man to ever life!" line is a bit over the top but the acting means they get away with it? Probably. I think it depends on what mood I'm in when I watch it. Anyway I like this episode for its portrayal of mental illness and the acting and stuff.

SCORE: 8.5/10
 
"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." is such a good line, I hope Richard Curtis writes another Doctor Who at some point now he's not making a film.
 
The Lodger - So, I don't like James Corden. I mean I should be indifferent to him, really. At this point I am. But there was a time he was EVERYWHERE and there would be "JAMES CORDEN IN DOCTOR WHO WILL BE THE BEST THING EVER!" style stories in The Sun (not that I read The Sun) and I just didn't get it. What's so amazing about him? Is it because he's an "ordinary bloke"? Maybe I don't get that because I'm not an ordinary bloke myself. Is it becaue he's fat? I think he lost a lot of weight since this episode so I guess he sold out or something. ANYWAY, he's okay in the episode I guess? Like he plays a character obviously written for James Corden and plays the character the way you'd expect James Corden to play a character written for James Corden. His acting isn't bad. But he certainly doesn't elevate the material with his performance. He's no Matt Smith put it that way.

His girlfriend is a bit better, but really does anyone care about them? At all? There's nothing to their story, not twists, just "they're in love and can't tell each other!" Of course they'll tell each other by the end of the episode. Of course she won't fall in love with the Doctor. Of course she won't go off to work with monkeys or whatever it was. Though really that sounded like more fun than marrying James Corden.

Matt Smith is very good, of course, but there's not much for him to work with. This is a "comedy" episode but it isn't as funny as many episodes this season (compare the much wittier Amy's Choice which beats this episode in comedy and drama and everything.) We get to see the Doctor playing football because Matt Smith used to be a footballer. Meanwhile there's a mysterious evil upstairs and people are actually dying. But the Doctor doesn't seem to care much? He's just doing wacky things with James Corden. There isn't even the usual "low level perception filter" excuse to explain why he doesn't seem to think it's urgent to investigate. Oh sure he builds a machine and tells Amy that he can't just barge in for some reason, but in a good episode he would have just barged in anyway and would have solved James Corden's love life problems in a matter of seconds as well.

At least he says "please state the nature of your emergency" to the holographic doctor in a Voyager tribute. Really, I liked that.

So it's a malfunctioning repair programme on an alien vessel. Again. This has happened in superior episodes written by Steven Moffat. And so has the "human emotion saves the day" ending where James Corden and girl save the day by declaring love in front of the malfunctioning repair programme. How does that save the day? I don't know. Sure there's some line thrown in to explain it, but basically it happens because the writer remembered better episodes ending in this way and thought he'd put it in here. Just compare it to the original (SINCE 2005) "human emotion saves the day" (also again a malfunctioning repair programme) ending in 'The Doctor Dances' where Nancy admitting she was the boy's mother was an integral part of the plot and was relevant to everything that had happened in the two part story. Here's it's just "love makes computer blow up" like an original Star Trek ending except James Corden doesn't deserve to breathe William Shatner's air. Anyone trying to do a "human emotion saves the day" ending shoudl watch 'The Doctor Dances'" first and think "is my ending even anywhere near being half as good as that?"

Anyway, it's not a completely terrible epsidoe or anything. The headbutting part is a bit unexpected and interesting, even though I think it probably undermines the use of clips of the old Doctors when you throw them into the James Corden comedy episode.

SCORE: 5.5/10
 
Patton Oswalt gets the same treatment... OHMYGODPATTONOSWALT!!!!*SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!* He's going to be the comic relief on Justified, a show about a violent Southern gun running, drug selling, whoremongering group of people being gunned down by a really hot marshall with an itchy trigger finger. *SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!!* What a great fit!
 
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