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Wacky Reviews: Star Trek

I guess the setup is, "How would Bajor treat another Bajor?" as if to test the tenets of their faith or something. But it was too soon to do that since they weren't on their feet yet and had a legit reason to deny them. This should have been a season 5 pre-war episode.

Trivia Treat: Prometheus was also the name of the prototype deep-space exploration ship from VOY's "Message in a Bottle" that had Andy Dick as its EMH.
 
Rivals - An El-Aurian con man (Martus) is trying to fleece a widow out of her money so Odo drags him away to jail. O'Brien has built his own space racquetball court but, much to his annoyance, finds that Bashir plays too and is much better at it than the Chief. In jail, Martus meets a down on his luck alien who blames his misfortune on a hand held gambling device. Then dies. O'Brien moans to Keiko about losing to Bashir and says "arse" again. Julian tells Dax that he feels bad and doesn't want to beat O'Brien again. Also he can't find a salt shaker that works. Martus gets out of jail and offers to go into partnership with Quark using the alien gambling device but Quark just wants to buy it off him. It looks like they're about to become...rivals. Bashier lets O'Brien at racquetball but that just makes the Irishman angrier. Martus opens up a club opposite Quark's (going into business with a Bajoran woman) and Rom goes to work for him (so Martus will be murdered soon.)

Quark loses all his customers except sad O'Brien who fell over playing racquetball (this is like a Chief O'Brie At Work epsiode.) Some people on the station start having bad luck and some good luck. Martus loses lots of money on his gambling machines and Quark wins his customers back by promoting a rematch between O'Brien and Bashir. THey can't say no because money will go to Bajoran orphans. Dax tries to find an explanation for the strange luck on the station. The Bajoran woman catches Martus with a showgirl and kicks him out of the club so he goes into business with the widow instead. Quark tries to drug Bashir so O'Brien will win as everyone has bet on Julian but Bashir catches him out. The game starts and Julian's racquet breaks quickly. Martus loses all his money again (who cares?) O'Brien and Bashir notice that something is off with their luck. Dax finds out that the gambling machines are altering the laws of probability somehow. Sisko and Dax destroy Martus' machines. Odo arrests him for an earlier crime and arrests the widow who was also a con woman. Quark gets Martus out of jail in exchange for him leaving the station forever.

It's an episode. It's inoffensive. It's instantly forgettable. Martus is fine but not really charismatic enough to care about. It's weird that after the initial scene with Quark that starts everything off he basically falls out of the plot and just hangs around with Rom for a while. The highlight of the episode is O'Brien and Bashir continuing to become actual friends, but they'll have much better episodes in the future. The whole thing about the laws of probability changing feels a bit silly for Star Trek? It's okay.

SCORE: 5/10


The Alternate - The Bajoran Doctor Mora (the always reliable James Sloyan) comes onboard the station. He's the scientist who was assigned to Odo when he was a baby changeling (Remember in earlier episode it was said that Odo based his face on him? Well, they do have the same hair.) Odo isn't really pleased to see him and is angry when Quark calls him "Odo's dad." Jake has a test on "Klingon opera" so I guess there's still a school on the station. Mora wants a runabout to go to the Gamma Quadrant and investigate something that may be related to the origin of Odo's people. Mora tells Dax about baby Odo proving he was sentinet (Odo doesn't enjoy the story as much as Mora.) They find a monolith on the Gamma Quadrant planet and some changeling moss with similar DNA to Odo. They beam the monolith up to the runabout and it casues and earthquake and weird gas to spray them. Back on the station, Odo feels bad watching Mora in sickbay. Sisko tells him he felt the same way when he own father died (let's hope that isn't contradicted later!) Someone smashes up the science lab and the chageling moss goes missing. Everyone thinks it must have done gone on a rampage. O'Brien tries to track it down in a vent and finds it dead in liquid form.

There's a bit where Julian hits on Dax agan, something that hasn't really happened this season and feels slightly out of place (but he doesn't come across badly like in season one.) Some chageling looking thing attack Bashir in Sickbay and he chases it off with a laser scalpel. Mora finally gets out of Sickbay and tries to bond with Odo some more. Mora tells Dax he's proud of how Odo has made a new life for himself but sad that he never returned to the lab on Bajor. They break downt he DNA of the attacker and Mora realises it was Odo and confronts him. Odo has no memory of it and Mora works out that both attacks happened when he was regenerating. Odo gets angry at the idea he could have commited a criminal act and thinks the gas on the planet must have done it. Mora tells Odo that Starfleet will lock him up and Odo can only trust him. He seems to be stressing Odo out so that he'll turn into the monster again and it works. Or is he just being a dick? Mora finally tells the senior staff that Odo has turned into a monster. Mora allow himself to be used as bait to capture Monster Odo. He lures Odo out on the Promenade and he's trapped behind forcefields until he turns back to normal. Bashir tells Odo he had no idea what happened to him. And we never find out anything more about the monolith or the gas or anything. Odo apoligises for trying to murder Mora and Mora says he wants to be part of his life again. Odo says he'd like that.

The Odo/Mora stuff is good. They're both strong actors and I liked their complicated relationship. But a lot about the episode doesn't really work. First of all Dax beaming the monolith off the planet seems a bit weird (what if it's a sacred sight to some aliens or something?) and we never find out anything about it, or what the chageling moss even was. The twist where it turns out Odo is the monster is pretty obvious once we know the changeling moss is dead. The scene where Mora confronts Odo and starts telling him to come back to his lab is weird too, because it really seems like he's trying to trigger Odo into turning into the monster again, but apparently he isn't? And why did he go straight to Odo instead of telling someone else that Odo is a monster who could kill them all? Really the whole plot isn't that great but it's saved by the Odo/Mora scenes being strong.

SCORE: 7/10
 
I liked the racquetball part of Rivals, but the rest was too silly.

I do like how Odo and Dr Mora have a complicated relationship, but I agree about it being weird to beam up the monolith thing. That doesn't seem very scientific!
 
Armageddon Game - O'Brien and Bashir are helping two alien races eliminate their deadly "Harvester" weapons. Apparently they can't destroy their own weapons themselves (they can't just be thrown into the sun?) and need a Federation doctor's help. And O'Brien's. Anyway, it works, and they also delete all scientific data on the weapons. Some aliens with guns show up and kill all the scientists who were dismantling the weapons, but O'Brien and Bashir of course survive. Two of the alien ambassadors, including a woman who kind of looks like Courteney Cox, go to DS9 and tell Sisko that O'Brien and Bashir were killed in any accident (they have fake footage of their deaths too.) Miles and Julian hide out on the planet, as O'Brien suggests they stay still until Sisko finds them. Everyone watches the death footage back on the station and Sisko has to go and tell Keiko. Bashir talks about how he was in love once but it didn't work out and says he doesn't want to get married and have kids because Starfleet life is so risky. And suggests that the O'Briens have an unhappy marriage. He finds out that O'Brien was infected by one of the Harvesters. Keiko seems only mildly perturbed to learn that her husband has died.

O'Brien grows more sick and Julian has to fix the radio under his instructions. Quark gives Dax and Kira drinks on the house and toasts O'Brien and Bashir for being good customers (how do Starfleet officers pay their bar bills when the Federation doesn't havemoney?) Keiko watches the footage of the deaths and thinks something is wrong because Miles never drinks coffee in the afternoon. Bashir tells O'Brien about his first love, a dancer. O'Brien is so sick he can't stand up. Bashir gets the radio working and tries to contact the aliens who they think are on their side. O'Brien tells him all the arguing is worth it because he and Keiko love each other. Sisko questions Courteney Cox about the deaths. Dax finds out O'Brien and Bashir beamed down to the planet after the time they were supposed to have died. Courteney Cox and the ambassador from the other planet show up and reveal to Bashir they had to kill everyone with knowledge of how to create the weapons, including him and O'Brien. O'Brien tells her he wants to die on his feet and the slight delay means Sisko and Dax beam them up in time. The aliens are willing to destroy the runabout to stop them getting away. They seemingly blow up the runabout, but it was actually the runabout Miles and Julian originally came on, beng remotely piloted. The aliens don't bother chasing them after that and decide to just pretend they died anyway, I guess. O'Brien is healed back on the station and asks for coffee...in the afternoon. He drinks it all the time!!!!

It's always fun to have O'Brien and Bashir team up and nice to see Miles softening a bit. It's a better episdoe than 'Storyteller' for sure, but the plot is a bit flimsy. There's no conseuqences for the Courteney Cox aliens after they try to kill several Starfleet officers? Keiko's bad acting hurts it a bit too (seriously she barely reacts when Sisko tells her O'Brien is dead!) It's a solid episode.

SCORE: 7/10


Whispers - The episode starts with O'Brien going through the wormhole in a runabout, seemingly on the run. He starts recording a log to explain everything that's happened in the past 52 hours and we flash back. Things started to seem wrong to him after he returned to the station from a mission with some Gamma Quadrant aliens who are holding peace talks on the station. Keiko acts weird and even Molly tells him to leave her alone. He also sees Keiko and Sisko talking about something secret. Bashir orders him to have a phsyical and Sisko forces O'Brien to go through with it. Sisko starts to probe O'Brien about intersting details he noticed about the aliens (all he has is that the aliens are a bit smelly.) Bashir finds nothing wrong with O'Brien after a really long physical (O'Brien at first thinks he's dying and that's why everyone's being weird.) O'Brien catches out Sisko (who claimed Jake had bad grades at school and that's why he was talking to Keiko) when Jake tells him his grades are fine. O'Brien's kept busy trying to get the upper pylons working after they shut down out of nowhere, keeping him away from the security arrangements for the peace talks. He finds people are trying to stop him asking too many questions about things. Miles tries to get intimate with Keiko but she's not into it. He doesn't want to eat the weird food she's cooked for him either. It's a tense scene!

O'Brien has the computer analyse everything and listens to all the station logs to see if there's something going on. He finds he's locked out of logs from after the day he got back. He hacks the computer and finds that Sisko's been receiving secret messages from the aliens. Odo returns to the station and O'Brien goes to tell him that there's something wrong with everyone else (except Jake.) He's happy to have Odo on his side, as anyone would be! Jumpy O'Brien shouts at Quark. Odo tells him he's found nothing wrong and O'Brien thinks he's been gotten to as well. Everyone shows up with phasers but he uses his smarts to escape them. Jake tries to turn him over to security but O'Brien escapes and steals a runabout. He contacts an Admiral to tell her the station has been taken over by the aliens but she tells him to go back to the station. We go back to the present day as O'Brien arrives at the alien planet rying to find out what the heck's going on. He evades Sisko's runabout using his brains and finds Sisko has beamed down to one of the alien planets. He follows, finding Sisko and Kira with the aliens in front of a mysterious door. One of the aliens shoots O'Brien just as the door opens revealing Bashir...with another O'Brien! This, it turns out, is the real O'Brien and the one we've been watching all along is a replicant created by the rebels to assassinate someone at the peace talks. They've only just found the real O'Brien. The replicant was perfect in every way and his last words are telling the real O'Brien to tell Keiko he loves her.

It's one of the best twist endings in all of Star Trek, but crucially the episode also works when you already know the twist. The first time you watch it you think Miles is normal and everyone else has been altered somehow, but when you watch it back knowing the twist you can see how they're all just trying to find out what the replicant O'Brien has been sent to do and how closely he resembles their O'Brien. Either way it's tense all the way through and the ending is heartbreaking as the replicant O'Brien was no different than the one we know and love. Colm Meaney gives a great performance and it's the kind of story that works best with Trek's best everyman character. VERY GOOD EPISODE.

SCORE: 9/10
 
I watched Emissary again last night and I was really impressed. It’s so bleak and different from previous shows, I can’t imagine what the fan reaction was like at the time. Even with Avery Brooks’ weird actING I loved all the stuff with him being stuck in the past and the prophets not understanding it. It’s one of the most effective examples of showing how different alien life could be from us (contrasting with TNG’s numerous aliens that talk to us by turning turbolifts on and off or mind raping Troi again). And now I’m grown up I can even enjoy the stuffy Bajorans.
 
Yeah I always hated the Bajoran espisodes when I was young butI realise now that they weren't all bad and helping Bajor improve itself was the actual (initial) premise of the show.

Paradise - Sisko and O'Brien are surveying star systems near the wormhole. They find a human colony on a planet where there isn't supposed to be one, and when they beam down none of their technology works. A human called Joseph finds them and explains that they've been stranded there for ten years after their ship crashed and introduces them to the colony's leader Alixus. Mles of course just wants to get the communicators working so they can beam up to the runabout but Alixus tells him there's no hope so he might as well give up, okay. She says that even though lots of them have died they're all very proud of the colony they've set up. Alixus has written loads of books about how life with no technology is better and makes sure to leave them with Sisko and O'Brien. Joseph is rabidly pro Alixus and tells them how great life is here, but a woman is dying from an insect bite and could easily be cured by the medkit in the runabout. Alixus keeps telling O'Brien not to bother trying. She also "suggests" that Sisko take his uniform off. She's not shifty at all! Sisko and O'Brien witness a young man being taken out of a small box where he's been locked up for a day as punishment for stealing a candle. Alixus sends a woman to seduce Sisko in an attempt to placate him. It doesn't work. Sisko notices that Alixus just happens to have brought loads of printed books to the planet and never eats replicated food and it's strange that she just happened to crash on this perfect planet for her.

There's a slight subplot going on with Kira and Dax looking for the missing runabout. They find it flying through space, not orbiting the planet. The sick person dies and Alixus reveals that Miles has been caught trying to activate his communicator and get back to the ship. That's...a perfectly reasonable thing for him to try to do, Alixus. Joseph even points out so. She puts Sisko in the box as punishement because he's the commanding officer. Kira and Dax find out someone tried to fly the missing runabout into a star to destroy it and try to trace where it came from. Alixus takes Sisko out of the box and tries to get him to change out of his uniform, but he refuses and walks back to the box in front of everyone (this is the best scene in the episode.) Joseph catches O'Brien trying to find the technobabble field that's disabling their technology and lets O'Brien knock him out so Alixus won't put him in the box. O'Brien finds technology buried in the forest but a guy starts shooting arrows at him. He takes off his uniform and jummps out of a tree(!) to defeat arrow guy. Alixus reveals that she helped develop the technology and had the ship crash on the planet on purpose. She tries to argue that the lie she's told for the last ten years has led to a more important truth. Some of them seem to agree with her but Sisko points out that loads of people have died and she must pay. Improbably all of the colonists decide to stay on the planet instead of leaving. Surely some of them would want to see the outside world? But Jospeh's in charge now and at least he isn't evil. Alixus gives a smug smile because she's kind of won. The bitch. Oh and two little kids are left staring at the box after she's beamed up and maybe they didn't stay but nobody asks kids?

It's not a bad episode but it is an annoying one. Alixus is so damn smug and the episode ends with her philosopy kind of being proven right. I find it hard to believe that there wasn't more anger directed towards her by the people she's been lying to for years. And the episode doesn't really do much with the "TECHNOLOGY VERSUS NOT BEING FAT" debate. So I don't know, I didn't hate it or anything, and Sisko did get some good scenes. But fuck Alixus.

SCORE: 6/10


Shadow Play - The unusual pairing of Odo and Dax head to the Gamma Quadrant to visit random planets (there's been a lot of episodes set away from the station lately.) She asks him if he's ever gotten laid but he doesn't answer. Dax picks up some unusual readings from a planet and they beam down, only to be held up by an old man with a phaser. Kira catches Quark trying to do something illegal while Odo's away and tells him she despises him. And there's a rare C-plot where Ben gets Jake a job with O'Brien because it'll look great on his Starfleet Avademy application. The man (Colyus) tells Odo and Dax that 22 people have disappeared from his village and introduces them to an even older man (Rurigan) whose daughter disappeared. Odo questions Rurigan's grandaughter Taya (played by the same girl who played Clara in TNG's 'Imaginary Friend', because I guess when you find a good child actor you hang onto them) about her mother's disappearance. Kira has Bashir watch Quark for her (for some reason) and Bariel arrives on the station (so Kira/Bariel is the actual B-plot, Jake is the C-plot and Bashir spying on Quark is the D-plot?) Odo explains to Taya that his face is weird because he's a changeling who isn't good at faces. She doesn't believe in chagelings and he won't change shapes for her. Odo finds out that no one ever leaves the valley where they live and bonds with the girl a bit. Jake admits to O'Brien that he doesn't want to join Starfleet. Kira and Boring Bariel play springball together (off camera.)

Odo asks Rurigan why he doesn't seem more concerned about his daughter being missing. He assures Odo there's nothing of interest outside the valley, so of course Odo goes out there with Dax and Taya. Taya's arm disappears when she goes by a certain point. Dax explains to Colyus that everyone, and everthing, in the village is a hologram. Kira and Bariel start kissing but then she figures out that it was Quark who arranged Bariel's visit to the station. The villages don't believe they're all holograms. Dax can bring the missing people back if she fixes the holoprojector, but if she fails everyone will disappear. She turns it off and everyone disappears except Rurigan, who is real. He explains that his planet was taken over by the Dominion so he fled here thirty years ago and created holographic people. He thinks it's all over now and the people were never real, but Odo asks who's to say what's real anyway, hmm? The village was created thirty years ago but Taya is only ten and wans't created by him. Jake admits to Ben that he doesn't want to join Starfleet and he's cool with it. Kira tells Quark she foiled his criminal scheme anyway and thanks him for bringing Bariel to the station. Dax of course fixes the holoprojector and all the missing people come back to life. None of them know Rurigan created them but they're all cool with being holograms anyway. Taya tells Odo she hope he finds his parents one day and he turns into a spinning top for her. It's cute.

It's a pretty good episode. The hologram story, as fun as it it, isn't really enough to fill a whole ep, so we get B and C plot which are both okay. I still don't care about Bariel but whatever. Odo bonding with the little girl was nice and well acted by both. Nobody's favourite episdoe but definitel a good one!

SCORE 7.5/10


Playing God - Arjin, a Trill initiate hoping to one day be bonded, is nervous to be on the station and meeting Dax, who is famous for breaking initiates. He's shocked to see Dax gambling with Ferengi. And that Dax has a man in her quarters in the morning and talks to him just wearing a towel. She's such a maverick! The station is being overrun by Cardassian voles which have been hiding for the last two years. Jadzia tells Arjin that she isn't any of Dax's previous hosts so he doesn't have to keep worrying and trying to impress her. Something gets stuck on their runabout in the Gamma Quadrant. Quark brings a dead Cardassian vole to Kira and O'Brien, demanding they be taken care of. Jadzia takes Arjin to the Klingon restaruant and sings. We get it, Jadzia's wacky. O'Brien asks a Cardassian for vole advice but gets no help. Dax tells Sisko she isn't impressed by Arnjin but he suggests she should give him more guidance. Jadzia's still bitter about how Curzon treated her when she was an initiate. A vole turns off the forcefield holding the thing they found in the GQ (I'm going to start calling the Gamma Quaranted "the GQ" from now on, watch out for that.) Jadzia presses Arjin for answers on what he'd do if he was joined. He thinks she's showing her true colours now and gets angry at her.

Jadzia finds out that the thing they found is a proto universe which is expanding and will displace their own universe. Basically it could destroy literally everything. What the fuck! This is a pretty big deal! Why just drop it in halfway through an episode? Arjin talks to Quark about how Dax has ruined his life. Dax finds indications of life in the proto universe. Kira wants to destroy it, arguing that the life is no more complex than the voles. The universe blows a hole in the station. AGAIN, this is much to big off a story to be a b-plot in a boring Trill episode! Sisko has a log entry wondering if he would be any different from The Borg if he destroyed another universe to save his own. Jake tells Ben he's in love with a Dabo girl and why are we watching this when a new universe is explanding and threatening our own? Jadzia tells Arjin that Curzon helped her see what life is like outside of the Initiate program and that made her the woman she is today. They take the proto universe back to where it came from together. There's some drama where something goes wrong and Arjin has to fly the runabout manually through the wormhole. Obviously they succeed since the universe doesn't end in this episode (for some reason the proto universe won't expand and destroy our univese now that it's back home?)

Yeah this is really weird. The first half of the episode is all about the Trill stuff, with a B-plot about voles. Then in the second half suddenly we have a proto universe threatening all life our universe (suddenly the voles are gone!) and we're still supposed to care about Arjin? The Arjin/Jadzia stuff isn't badly written or anything, it's all pretty fine and gives some insight into Jadzia's character for once. But Arnjin himself is really boring and I don't much care what happens to him. And, again, what about that proto universe? Can we get more about that? Nope, apparently not! This episode does not work.

SCORE: 4/10
 
I was annoyed by Paradise too! Sisko was great but the way it ended was meh... some people would have left. They just would have.

I liked the hologram village, it was a sweet episode.

The proto universe stuff was just weird, and I agree that Arjin was boring.
 
Profit and Loss - The Cardassian professor Natima shows up on the station with two of her students, needing repairs to their ship. Quark is excited to see her but she slaps him and says she told him never to speak to her again. Quark tells Odo he was the love of her life. Natima becomes worried after she sees Garak and says she has to leave right away, but her ship isn't ready yet and O'Brien reports that it was fired on by Cardassians. Natima tells Sisko she and her students are members of an underground movement who want to take control of Cardassia away from the military. Quark goes to Garak's shop pretending he needs new clothes but really trying to find out what Garak knows about Natima. Garak uses clothes metaphors to explain. Quark goes to Natima offering help (she explains that she liked him initially because he sold food to the Bajorans) but she's still angry at him stealing money from the Cardassians using her security codes. Quark offers to run away with her but I'm really not feeling their chemistry here at all. A Cardassian warship shows up and Garak speaks to Sisko on behalf of the Central Command. They want the students turned over for crimes commited on Cardassia but Sisko won't do it. Quark goes to the students and offers them a cloaking device to make their getaway, but only if they convince Natima to stay on the station with him.

Quark again tries to get Natima to admit she still loves him but she holds a phaser to him and demands the cloaking device. She shoots him by accident and then suddenly completely changes her mind about him, telling him she's sorry for all the things she said and that she loves him (again this isn't all that convincing.) She finally agrees to stay with Quark but Odo arrives and places her under arrest. The cowardly Bajorans have signed a new agreement with the Cardassians where they'll turn over any prisoners wanted on Cardassia as part of a prisoner exchange. Gul Toran goes to see Garak and aks if he wants to go home again. All he has to do is kill the students. Quark goes to Odo for help and promises to be an informant for every crime Rom commits. After a lot of talking Odo agrees to free the students because they'll be execued on Cardassia and they don't deserve that (some fascist Odo is!) This is breaking the agreement the Bajorans have with Cardassia but apparently no one cares about that. Bu they find Garak waiting for them in Quark's cloaked ship. Garak is apparently ready to kill all of them, including Quark, even though he thinks the Central Command are wrong to want them dead. Then Toran shows up as he suspected Garak's gone soft. And of course Garak vapourises Toran (which doesn't set up an alarm or anything?) and lets them escape. Natima of course goes with her students but promises to come back one day (narrator voice: she doesn't.) Quark and Garak both say they did what they did for love and maybe this could be the start of a beautiful friendship (they don't say that last part.)

It's an attempt to do Casablanca but it doesn't really work. Quark and Natima's relationship just isn't convincing, especially with how she goes from completely hating him to loving him right after she shoots him. Quark's behaviour seems at odds with how he's been portrayed previously. I don't mind softening him a bit but it's hard to swallow him as a romantic lead. Garak's in it, so that's good, and it's cool seeing him interact with characters other than Bashir for the first time. But the plotting isn't good (Odo just letting prisoners go and suffering no consequences?) and the romance isn't good so that's not good!

SCORE: 5/10


Blood Oath - Quark complains to Odo that a drunken Klingon is refusing to leave his Holosuite. It's Kor (John Colicos), the first Klingon we ever saw in Star Trek! His friend Koloth (William Campbell) comes to bail him out, but decides to leave Kor in jal when he sees how drunk he is. Jadzia gets Kor released instead, as he was a friend of Curzon Dax. Kang (Michael Ansara) shows up too and tells them that he's found "The Albino." All four made a blood oath together to kill the Albino and have been searching for him for eighty years (Curzon was the godfather of Kang's son, murdered by the Ablino.) Kang tells Jadzia that things have changed since the old days and he won't hold Jadzia to the blood other Curzon took. Jadzia asks Kira how many people she killed during the Occupation and tells her the backstory. She wants to go ahead with the blood oath as she remembers everything Curzon experienced. Kira tries to talk her out of it but it's obviously not going to work. Jadzia goes to Kor (drinking with Dabo girls) asking him to help her convince Kang and Koloth to let her come along. She proves herself to Koloth by bat'leth fighting him (he wins the fight, which is a nice touch, since he is actually much more experienced than her.) But grumpy Kang still refuses to let her come.

She talks to Kang and shows him she has as much right for vengeance on the Albino as he does and he finally agrees to let her go. But Sisko tells Dax he won't give her a leave of absence and she can't just go off killing people. Jadzia says it legal in Klingon law and she respects that. Sisko reluctantly lets her go. The four of them plan their assault on the Albion's fortress. Kang just wants to storm the fortress but Jadzia tells him that wiell mean they'll all be guaranteed to die. That's what Kang wants, as he's made an agreement with the Albino to take on forty of his men in battle and finally either kill the Albino or die an honourable death. Jadzia says Klingons are too eager to die and comes up with a technobabble way to disable all phasers in the Albino's compound. They arrive at Albino Castle and sneak in, murdering guards along the way an creating diversions and stuff. They get inside for more fighting but are heavily outnumbered and Koloth and Kor are stabbed. Kang gets to the Albino but breaks his bat'leth and is stabbed. Jadzia has the chance to kill the Albino (she's luckily avoided killing any guards) but Kang saves her from having to by stabbing him in the back. Koloth dies and Kang follows (it is a good day to die.) Kor sings. Jadzia returns to duty on DS9.

It's by far the best Jadzia episode yet. She actually has to deal with something she did in a previous life and gets to show emotions and everything! And having watched all of TOS recently I certainly appreciate that they brought back the three best original Klingons. And they're all great here! They're like proper Klingons who drink and have fun but will also kill albinos if they have a blood oath. The action is good to, for Star Trek. It's very good, I like it.

SCORE: 9/10
 
They did the Quark romance thing much better with Grilka. They had some chemistry, and maybe the actress playing Grilka is better than the one who played Natima, plus the story was just better all around.
 
The Maquis: Part 1 - A Cardassian freighter departing the station explodes, after a Starfleet officer does something suspicious. Command Cal Hudson, a wooden old friend of Sisko's, come to the station to find out what's going on. Hudson't isn't happy that Federation citizens are living on the Cardassian side of the border (thanks to Picard in TNG's 'Journey's End.') A Vulcan woman (Sakonna) goes to Quark and he flirts with her. The suspicious man from the start of the episode is captured by two aliens. Gul Dukat goes to the station to talk to Sisko in private. After making sure Duktat hasn't kidnapped Jake, Sisko is willing to listen to him and they had to the DMZ together. Dukat tries to be friendly but Sisko doesn't trust him. They find two Cardassian ships attacking a Federation merchant ship. Dukat tells the Cardies to stop firing and is willing to shoot on them himself, but a mysterious Federation ship shows up and destroys them itself. It's pretty lucky all this happened, really, as it demonstrates to Sisko that there's a secret war going on in the DMZ. Quark and Sakonna have dinner and she's impressed by the Rules of Acquisition. Then she tells him she wants to buy lots of guns.

Sisko and Dukat arrive on a colony world during an argument between Gul Evek and Hudson. Evek has a recorded confession from the guy who blew up the Cardassian freighter at DS9. The terrorist commited suicide in his cell and the human leader of the colony attacks Evek. Hudson defends the terrorist in a badly delievered speech about how he was just a farmer who lost his land to the Cardassians. He says the Cardassians are arming their colonists but Sisko asks if the Federatiion colonists are organising a terrorist campaign. Dukat tells Sisko he's disappointed that Evek let the terrorist die, because it meant Evek lost his advantage. Dukat swears on the lives of his seven(!) children that the Cardassian freighter wasn't running weapons. Kira warns Sisko not to trust the Cardassians no matter what and argues that the colonists have the right to defend themselves, if Starfleet won't. Sakonna and her friends kidnap Dukat. Odo moans about the Federation not letting him turn the station into a police state. A group named "The Maquis" take credit for kidnapping Dukat. Sisko, Bashir and Kira track the kidnappers to near The Badlands (Sisko mentions that some ships have disappeared there lately, THE FIRST VOYAGER REFERENCE IN TREK HISTORY) and beam down to an asteroid. They're quickly captured by the Maquis and their leader...Cal Hudson.

It's a very strong set-up episode. The best parts are all the scenes between Sisko and Dukat. It's the first time Dukat's been shown as something other than a total villain and the dialogue is very good. Quark and Sakonna are a good pairing too. There's a lot of strong political arguments with no easy answers presented. What hurts the episode is the guy playing Hudson. He's quite possibly the worst guest star in Trek history, or at least the worst one with a major part. Avery Brooks can be wooden at times, but never so bad that he really hurts the episodes. This guy is so bad that his scenes talking to Sisko are hard to get through. It's a shame because otherwise this is very good!

SCORE: 8.5/10


The Maquis: Part 2 - Hudson and Sisko have a fairly friendly chat to start, until Sisko asks where Dukat is. Hudson can't believe Sisko would side with a Cardassian over him. Hudson stuns Sisko, Kira and Bashir and leaves. Admiral Nechayev is on the station and asks Sisko if he wouldn't rather have a Starfleet head of security than Odo (foreshadowing?) Sisko doesn't tell her about Hudson being Maquis. Sisko feels Nechayev is out of touch with what life is like in the DMZ and makes his "it's easy to be a saint in paradise" speech to Kira. Odo arrests Quark and he spills everything about the weapons. A fat Cardassian Legate arrives on the station and tells Sisko and Kira that Dukat was part of a group of rebels who were supplying weapons to colonists in the DMZ. It's all bullshit, of course, the Central Command really were smuggling weapons and are using Dukat as a scaepgoat. Sisko heads out to save Dukat anyway, because that's what Starfleet does, despite Kira saying he should be left for dead. Sakonna tries to mind meld with Dukat but his mind is TOO POWERFUL and he mocks her efforts and all of the Maquis. I like how in two episodes they've got me cheering for Dukat. Sisko shows up. He doesn't want a fight with the Maquis but Dukat punches Sakonna and they have no choice. Sisko lets their leader go, telling him to tell Hudson there's still a chance for him to return to Starfleet. Dukat has a big meal back on the station and tells Sisko that on Cardassia the verdict is always known before the trial and the trial is just for show. They could do an episode about that! Sisko drops the news that the Central Command blamed Dukat for everything and he's shocked. Dukat says he fell out of favour because the Central Command thought he was too kind to the Bajorans and is sad that they never bothered to tell him that they were arming the colonists. This scene is great.

Dukat tells Sisko about aliens (I really don't want to have to look out how to spell their name) who have helped the Cardassians smuggle weapons in the past and goes with him and O'Brien and Kira to stop them. The alien Captain tells Sisko he isn't smuggling any weapons but Dukat gives him an epic dressing down and threatens to blow him up until the Captain gives up. Kira is reluctantly impressed by Dukat and he gives her a smug smile. Quark and Sakonna are in a cell together and Quark argues that terrorism is illogical because attacking the Cardassians will only make peace more expensive in the long run. Sakonna is won over by his logic and tells Sisko everything she knows. Sisko goes to the colony world and tells the Maquis he knows what they're planning and if they try it he will stop them. Sadly Hudson comes in to drag the episode down a bit. Sisko offers him his uniform again but Hudson vapourises it instead. Dukat's sources get the location of the weapons depot (on a civilian planet) that the Maquis are going to attack. Sisko's runabouts try to stop the two Maquis vessles with tractor beams but the Maquis fire on them. Sisko's runabout has a big phaser fight with Hudon's ship. It looks good, for this era of Star Trek. Dukat wants Sisko to destoy the feeling Hudson's ship but Sisko lets him get away. Kira congratulates Sisko on preventing a war but he wonders if he just delayed it.

It's a great second part, better than part 1 I'd say. Dukat is the highlight again as while he's still a bad guy in a lot of ways (his solution to most problems is just to kill people) there are points in the episode where he's correct or where we're even supporting him. Hudson isn't in it as much as part one, which is good, and the scene with him vapourising his unifrom actually works well. This is intelligent Star Trek for intelligent people!

SCORE: 9/10


The Wire - Bashir has been reading a Cardassian novel Garak recommended to him. He didn't like it because it as just seven generations of one family showing unwavering duty to the state but Garak thinks that's what makes it so good. Garak gets a headache and runs off without letting Julian examine him. Bashir tells Jadzia that he's annoyed Garak won't let him help him, even though he still doesn't really know anything about Garak. He spies Garak having a secret meeting with Quark. Bashir asks O'Brien to help him recover the old Cardassian medical files from the station's computer but it will take too long. Garak gets drunk and starts making a scene in Quark's. He has some kind of seizure when Julian arrives. He finds some kind of implant in Garak's head but can't tell what it does. He asks Odo to get informatiion from Quark as he suspects Quark knows something (I like how this episode is using all the other characters in logical ways!) Odo reveals that he always illegally monitors all Quark's communcations. Quark tries to buy another implant from a Cardassian friend, but the Cardassian panics when he sees what it is and says Quark has ended his career. It's classified technology made by the Obsidian Order, Cardassia's secret police and intelligence organisation. Bashir finds Garak getting high in his quarters. Garak won't go back to the infirmary despite being in obvious pain. He laughs when Bashir suggests the implant is a punishment device. Garak was given the implant by the Obsidian Order to make him immune to pain, but he's been using it constantly since he was exiled to the station and it's started malfunctioning. His body has became dependant on the implant so he can't turn it off. Bashir asks if he's just going to let "them" win but Garak scoffs at his smug Federation sympathy. He tells Bashir that he was a Gul during the Occupation and he murdered a ship full of escaped Bajoran prisoners, 97 Cardassian civilians, and his friend Elim. Bus Bashir still wants to help him and turns the device off, promising to help Garak through withdrawal. This is a really long scene of just two people talking and it's great.

Odo wants to question Garak about murders the Obsidian Order were involved in, but Bashir refuses to wake Garak up. Garak continues to go through withdrawal, getting angry at Julian and telling him he was the protege of Enabran Tain, the head of the Obsidian Order. He reveals that he actually let the Bajoran prisoners go because they were just children and hadn't done anything wrong. He can't believe he ever enjoyed having lunch with Julian and attacks him. Garak has another seizure and his heart stop for a moment. Bashir finds that he's dying and only turning the implant on could keep him alive for another couple of weeks. Garak wakes up and tells him never to turn it on again. He apologises for his behaviour and says he wants to tell Julian the truth: he and Elim were "closer than brothers" but he framed Elim for letting the Bajoran prisoners go. But Elim betrayed him first and he was exiled. He thinks he deserved it, for trying to betray Elim. He wants forgiveness from someone and Bashir holds his hand and tells him he forgives him...for whatever he did. Bashir manages to track down Enabran Tain (Paul Dooley), more easily than he expected. Tain knew he was coming and seems to know everything about Bashir. Tain agrees to give him the information that will save Garak's life, but not because he wants to help him. He wants Garak to live a long life in a station full of people who hate him. Bashir asks him about Elim and Tain reveals that Elim is actually Garak's first name. Garak is cured and acts like nothing happened the next day. He told Odo that he was never a member of the Obsidian Order. He gives Bashir another book, one set in the future where Cardassia is at war with the Klingons (FORESHADOWING?) Bashir asks him out of all the stories he told which ones were true. Garak says they were all true...especially the lies.

It's one of the best episodes yet, if not the best. Similar to 'Duet' in that much of it is just two people talking, this is an acting showcase for Andrew Robins. But Alexander Siddig holds up his end well too and it's the best Bashir centric episode yet as well. I really can't think of anything I disliked about it.

SCORE: 10/10
 
Crossover - Bashir and Kira are in a runabout together and he's acting like his annoying season one self. Something goes wrong when they travel through the wormhole and they find the station orbiting Bajor. It's now run by an alliance of Klingons, Cardassians and Bajorans, Kira's called the Intendant and in command (with Garak as her first officer) and yeah we're in the mirror universe Kirk and friends visited once. Human work in ore processing, run by an even more fascist Odo, and Julian is sent there. Intendant Kira is fascinated by our Kira and explains the backstory of the MU to her: the humans were leaders of an evil empire once but Spock got them to soften them up, leaving them vulrnerable to being overthrown by the Alliance. Our Kira just wants to go home but the Intendant says there's no way. Kira does get to visit Bashir in Ore Processing and he thinks maybe mirror O'Brien can help them get home because their O'Brien knows so much about transporters. Kira tries to use Quark to get her hands on a transporter but Garak arrives and arrests Quark for helping humans escape from the station. Then mirror Sisko arrives with his Ravagers and Avery Brooks is predictably theatrical. Mirror O'Brien is a bit like the Chief O'Brien At Work comic O'Brien and is excited to hear that he has an important job and family on the other side (how come all the regular characters are born here but not Molly?)

Sisko lives a comfier life than the other Terrans because he does "favours" for the Intendant and likes bossing O'Brien about. Intendant Kira gets all creepy with our Kira, telling her she wants her love. She then orders Quark executed. Mirror Garak wants kill the Intendant with our Kira's help and promises to send her home after that. Kira tells Bashir they have to get off the station fast. Kira next tries to get Sisko's help (there's a lot of scenes of Kira going to people for help in this episode), telling him about Garak's plot. Sisko doesn't seem to care and just laughs a lot. She tells him off. Sisko just happens to witness his men being mistreated by Klingons in the next scene. Bashir escapes Ore Processing and BLOWS UP ODO. He come across O'Brien and finally gets some help (he also promises agrees to let O'Brien come home with him but that obviously won't happen.) They're quickly caught and the Intedant makes a speech about how she won't get easy on Terrans now and orders Bashir to be violently killed. O'Brien makes a speech about how Bashir showed him how good his life could have been if things had just been a bit different. It's the highlight of the episode thanks to Colm Meaney's acting (he doesn't go all campy like everyone else.) It inspires Sisko and his space pirates to help Kira and the rest escape. O'Brien decides to stay with Sisko even though he calls him "Smiley" all the time. Bashir and Kira get home through the wormhole and Kira says they've been "through the looking glass" (I guess that's the one human book she's read?)

'Mirror, Mirror' is a classic, a 10/10 episde in my thread (this is my thread.) This...isn't as good. That's not to say it isn't entertaining. Certainly it's fun seeing stuff like Bashir blowing up Odo and Quark being nice, and to some extent Avery Brooks and Nana Visitor hamming it up (though you might think they take it too far at times.) One problem for me was that we just get a "dark" version of the station earlier this season in 'Necessary Evil', except that was actually showing what life was really like on the station just three years earlier. This can't compete with the impact of that. And not all the mirror versions of characters are interesting, take Garak for instance. The real Garak is one of the best characters in all of Trek (see the previous episode) Mirror Garak is just...an evil guy. So it's a fun episode but nothing about it is as crazy fun as Spock with a beard, and while O'Brien's speech is good it isn't as good as Kirk talking Spock into changing the entire way of life for a whole Empire. Anyway it's still good and I'm pretty sure it's the best mirror episode DS9 did (but maybe I'll change my mind!)

SCORE: 8/10
 
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