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Wacky Reviews: Various Movies 2015

I saw and loved Rise of the planet of the apes, good enough to scour the memory away of the Tim Burton film.
 
I have watched a number of movies and am going to gatecrash this:

Looper: I always have a soft spot for Bruce Willis and then you have Mr Levitt and also EMILY BLUNT- what could go wrong? Well, nothing! I found Looper clever, stylised and EMILY BLUNT very compelling. It had me hooked and didn't fall into too many "LETS JUST EXPLAIN THAT BIT AGAIN" stuff. In fact there was a critical diner scene where Bruce Willis slammed his hand down and said IT DOESNT MATTER. So the time travel stuff was steamrollered over EMILY BLUNT for the pace and drive of the story. There were a few too many ideas at times, but they kept up the pace and EMILY BLUNT it all moved along swimmingly. I really liked Emily Blunt, but lets not labour the point. Oh, and the make up / effects to make Levitt look like Willis was comletely distracting and needless.

Django Unchained. I should have loved this movie and it is worth seeing. Christoph Waltz is just at the top of his game and having fun here. Beautifully shot and uncompromising but I had some real issues. The story did NOT need 2 hours and 39 minutes. So much panning and tracking I felt like I was watching some sort of wildlife documentary. Get on with the story! Jamie Foxx was excellent as was the entire cast. The one VERY poor actor was Tarentino, fuck it man - do a hitchcock and walk into a pet shop or something but don't give yourself a speaking part. I also was unconvinced by Samuel L Jackson (for once).

Skyfall - Great film but truly bored of bond now. The formulaic nonsense really got to me. OH IT STARTS WITH A CHASE, WHAT CAR IS HE DRIVING? IS THERE A POINTLESS CASINO SCENE?

Dark Knight Rises - bored, got bored of this and switched off. You will all throw rocks at me I am sure.

Elyssium - I never thought District 9 was that good. This director is batting way above his talent. Truly shit, pointless film.
 
I've had a copy oF Elyssium for a while and never bothered watching it since literally everyone said it's like a shit Star Trek episode.

I think it's generally agreed by now that The Dark Knight Rises is kind of bad, so I wouldn't worry about rocks.
 
Jamie Foxx had me at Hello but I am afraid I struggle to have an opinion on his penis. I'm sorry Sausage!

His acting opposite Tarentino was hilarious. It was like watching a cat play with a dead mouse.

and the dancing horse thing at the end really pissed me off. I'm sure there was a really clever meta reference to a previous western movie of some description but it was shit, end of.
 
I'm agreed with all your points I think.

I did like District 9 and gave Neil Blomkamp the benefit of the doubt over the outrageously obvious apartheid analogy as it was otherwise well done, but boring Elysium managed to do the impossible and be even less subtle. The only superficial point of interest it had for me was seeing the space habitat where all the rich/evil people lived.
 
Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes - This was a good movie. The apes looked great and all seemed like real characters when they were CGI creations talking in sign language. The baby ape was really cute! Apes riding horses firing machine guns! I guess on the downside I'd say Gary Oldman's character was a bit underdeveloped and the ending felt like one of those "setting up a sequel" endings rather than the end of the movie? And also apparently there's only one human woman left alive. BUT YEAH I LIKED IT DON'T SAY I DIDN'T.
 
I finally saw Edge of Tomorrow. It was good! I like the Groundhog day stuff, and that they didn't spend a lot of time on boring shit and just got on with it. Tom Cruise wasn't as Tom Cruisey as he usually is. The only weird thing was that in the beginning is seemed like Emily Blunt's character could remember stuff, and Tom Cruise's couldn't, but then the more times he died she couldn't remember and he could? Like how could she remember they'd had sex loads of times, but he didn't? MAYBE that was just supposed to be funny and they hadn't ever. Also, I guess at the end Tom Cruise absorbed all the power to control time and he reset the world so that he's a major now? I DON'T KNOW. I'm glad it ended happily anyway.
 
I don't think she could remember anything. She'd been infected by the blood in the past, so she recognised what was happening to him, but she couldn't remember herself. I don't remember them having sex so I assume it was a joke (I don't remember the line either.)
 
He was asking if they'd tried everything to transfer the blood from him to her, and she said do you mean sex? and then she said everything... and then he said maybe they should try again OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. By the end of the movie I decided she was joking.
 
The LEGO Movie - I finally watched this. It was good. You all said things about it a year ago, probably. So just remember those things and pretend I said them again. I did think I was going to have a fit during some of the actioin scenes though.
 
I watched Grand Budapest Hotel.

My wife thought it was a stylish farce that was kept interesting by pace rather than Characters.

I thought it was better than that. Yes, it was a farce but the cinematography was excellent and was a constant visual feast. (Yes, I just said that)

Jude Law, Ralph Fiennes and the innumerable others were excellent and managed to be believable and tender amongst the carnage. It will be a cult movie I am sure.
 
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