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Where are all these bruises coming from?

Tisiphone

Elitist Redheaded Trollop
I just noticed my arm is riddled with bruises, including one big ass blue one on my upper arm that's sore to the touch. WTF am I doing to myself?

A CRY FOR ATTENTION PERHAPS
 
DIFFERENTIAL DIAGNOSIS ON ARM BRUISES.
 
I like those, because they're like a tasty mystery that ends with you finding the third of a cake you stuffed in a desk drawer for safekeeping the night before.

Waking up in the wrong bed kind of sucks, but that's usually over by the time you have time to notice the bruises.
 
We need QUINCY, MD.
 
Sleep fucking.
 
Cut down on the ELBOW SEX.

I sliced the side of my hand today by breaking a drinking glass while overzealously washing dishes.
 
Cut down on the ELBOW SEX.

I sliced the side of my hand today by breaking a drinking glass while overzealously washing dishes.

He's fibbing, folks. In fact, the wound came from a feather duster.
 
Not quite. Sometimes my right hand gets jealous of my Dust Buster.

Your INTERNATIONAL SPY RING SPIES OF THE RING need better microphones.
 
Well considering Tomtrak filed the report while tucked away in your sock drawer, I'm quite impressed.
 
There's no need for elbow sex after what I picked up at condom sense last night....
 
Zorbing addict?
 
I just noticed my arm is riddled with bruises, including one big ass blue one on my upper arm that's sore to the touch. WTF am I doing to myself?

A CRY FOR ATTENTION PERHAPS


being a drunk and smashing ito stuff im covered as well
 
^Yeah, that sounds about right.
 
Wait, there's really a store called Condom Sense?
 
LoL. Oh, yes. Toys, costumes, condoms, DVDs, lube, gels, all sorts of goodies. ;)
 
TESTOSTERONE PATCHES?
 
WHATEVER YOU WANT
 
I'd stick one on my forehead.
 
SO YOU CAN GIVE GREAT HEAD LOL
 
DIFFERENTIAL DIAGNOSIS ON ARM BRUISES.

You called?

Clearly she is having wild forms of sex (various kinds).

I recomend wearing a long sleve shirt.
 
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