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Where is the Random Thread of Randomness stuff that doesn't belong in other threads thread?

Those moments when you hear yourself talking and realize you sound like an Old Person, from when you were Young: "When I was your age, we had 'calendars.' They had pictures and kept track of the days and you'd hang them on your wall. This time of the year, they'd have pop-up stores--like Spirit Halloween--that sold them and you'd pick one with pictures you liked: National parks. Or lighthouses. Or kittens. And you'd buy it to keep track of the days for the year.
 
Optional body mods. If I had more money than I knew what to do with I'd get about 10# of blubber sucked off my belly; maybe have a port installed so I can have it tapped off every couple years. I'd have them cut a "T" on the back of my scalp and sew it tight to pull my sagged face back to a younger look. And I'd go have the Chinamen smash my shins and put me in traction so I could maybe be 6' tall. I might also have my penis reduced in size so it doesn't cause 95% of women to run in terror, but that's another story.
 
Volpone said:
Those moments when you hear yourself talking and realize you sound like an Old Person, from when you were Young: "When I was your age, we had 'calendars.' They had pictures and kept track of the days and you'd hang them on your wall. This time of the year, they'd have pop-up stores--like Spirit Halloween--that sold them and you'd pick one with pictures you liked: National parks. Or lighthouses. Or kittens. And you'd buy it to keep track of the days for the year.
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Tonight there were some 20 somethings hanging out and there was this George Michael thing and so I sang a few lines of "gotta have faith" and their like, "Sounds like a cool song" and then it kept going for 3 more artists from my era and they kept saying, "What? Who?" then I gave up. OH! And one was the Mork and Minday show-nope-I mean why would they know about that?! ARE THEY LIVING UNDER ROCKS?! OMG
 
Reading the Old Testament, I'm always amazed at how whenever God literally gives the Israelites everything they could ever want, they immediately go out and start worshipping Baal or Moloch or whoever until God gets pissed and sends them off to slavery. But also, whenever things start going my way and I start getting ahead I immediately plan to go out drinking and whoring and hanging around with degenerates. So yeah, now I get the Old Testament Israelites and their relationship with God.
 
That sounds amazing! I could go for that right now.

I have a box of apples sitting on my porch right now, but the only thing the apples are good for is a pie or a crisp or sauce.
 
I think we all need one of these.

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So I tried my hand yesterday at attempting to make a batch of Hjortetakk, these Norwegian Christmas donuts my mom used to make that are supposed to be a dense cake donut sort of thing flavored with cardamom. They turned out a lot denser than expected. Think little wreaths of cardamom flavored concrete. I ended up throwing them in the back yard for the squirrels to eat and with any luck it might kill them off.
 
I've said it before, I'll say it again: Marine Corps small unit doctrine is to assault 10-15 meters through your objective when attacking a position. I am convinced that this is solely to counter human nature to stop at 85-95% and say "good enough." Because you most definitely don't want to say "good enough" when you're still in front of the Bad Guys' machineguns.

This post brought to you by 3 of the 5 unpleasant tasks on my "To Do" list today that I've made a good start on but have decided I need to take a break before completing.
 
Volpone said:
I've said it before, I'll say it again: Marine Corps small unit doctrine is to assault 10-15 meters through your objective when attacking a position. I am convinced that this is solely to counter human nature to stop at 85-95% and say "good enough." Because you most definitely don't want to say "good enough" when you're still in front of the Bad Guys' machineguns.

This post brought to you by 3 of the 5 unpleasant tasks on my "To Do" list today that I've made a good start on but have decided I need to take a break before completing.
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#4 is exercising. And it turns out that's just as unpleasant as 1-3.
 
If I had more money than I knew what to do with, I would get someone to make me Luke Skywalker's jacket from the award ceremony at the end of "Star Wars" out of buckskin.
 
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