Where is the Random Thread of Randomness stuff that doesn't belong in other threads thread?

[CaptainWacky]

We had it so good.

 

[Kyehlar]

 

[USUC]

File this under u can’t make this shit up (Rachael being my daughter who’s graduating in the fall summa cum laude):


Rachael: my tire pressure sensor in my car isn’t working. Do my tires look ok?


Me: (looking around), yeah they do but u could always check them with a gauge.

Rach: I don’t know how to do that.

Me: Well when your sensor is working and it tells u that a tire needs air, what do you do?

Rach: I put some air in and drive around and wait for the sensor to tell me it’s okay.

DA FUCK? She learned how to check her tire pressure with a gauge today.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

It's like kids who don't know how to tell time on an analog clock.

 

[Volpone]

I can count change, write in cursive, and drive a manual transmission. I'm practically Gandalf.

 

[Volpone]

Actually, I realized I'd forgotten how to count change: "$2.50. Out of $10... $3 (hands back 2 quarters), 4, 5 (hands back 2 dollars), and $5 is $10." (hands back a $5). The last time I did that to someone they were like "what the hell was that?"