"You gonna get another job?"...

[Volpone]

You know what else, though? I may be being too hard on myself. I think I mentioned upthread, the time I was a young(ish) Marine Lieutenant, in school, and we were all loaded in the back of a 5 ton, waiting for someone to figure out what was supposed to be happening and I was like "The rest of the world thinks of us as the world's greatest fighting force. We know how fucked up WE are. Can you imagine what it's like to be in the Turkish Navy?"

Yes. I make mistakes. Yes, I get things wrong. Sometimes I don't learn from a mistake so I have to make it again and again until I DO learn. But I know a lot. And I get a lot right. And I'm (mostly) true to my ethics and code (if I could pull back the letters I sent yesterday, I would, but maybe I need to just ride them out as an important step in my development). And (so far) I haven't wound up in some of the horror stories I've heard about.

Part of the problem is that I'm of German heritage. And I'm smart. And I've worked in the tech field. When you work with people, the right answer can depend on any number of intangible variables. In tech the variables can be tricky, but they are ALWAYS tangible and there is only 1 right answer (although you can get at it different ways). The best example of this...well, I'll go with a simpler example than the one I was going to use. It isn't as fun, but it is a better example: A tactical UHF Multichannel radio link. You use them for telephone and computer connections. Big Humvee full of electronics with a telescoping 50' fiberglass mast on it with a dish on top. Park one on a hilltop and point it at another parked on another hilltop--we'll say 50 miles away. I forget the exact distances, but that's about right. If all the settings on the equipment are right and the 2 dishes are pointed directly at each other with no obstructions and they are at the same elevation above sea level, you can send voice and data. If they aren't, you can't. It isn't as 1/0 as data to get the shot dialed in--if you're close you can get a partial signal and then you can fine tune it to get it solid, but you can't just use persuasion or willpower to make it happen; you've got to follow the rules.

 

[Volpone]

This will ramble a bit. Quite a bit.

One of the things I remember from my Catechism, is where everyone fit in, in the scheme of things: Souls in Heaven didn't need help but could help souls on Earth and in Purgatory. Souls in Hell couldn't help anyone and couldn't be helped. Souls in Purgatory couldn't help anyone but could be helped. And souls on Earth could be helped by souls in Heaven and could help souls in Purgatory. It's kind of a neat model. Because some people can help people but don't really need help, some people can't help anyone but can be helped, some people can help and be helped, and some people you just can't help.

My Problem Child can't be helped. At first I thought he was completely a manipulative shit but I'm starting to think he genuinely believes he's a good person who is a victim. He called up after getting his 7 day letter. I--stupid me--had already decided the Right thing to do was to let him off the hook. So I started to explain that I'd been advised by pretty much everyone to send the letter and that I didn't want to. He cut me off and told me he didn't believe me. At that point I said "OK. Fine then. We'll go ahead with it." But then he proceeded to tell his tale of woe and victimhood and I realized he would learn nothing from this and it had the potential to extend my time dealing with him--and wind up costing a lot more than just writing off a month's rent--at least for now, but probably forever. And would increase the likely hood of a brick through a window. So I told him I was letting him off the hook. What can I say? It is who I am. I've written off far bigger amounts because it was the right thing to do. Back when I played dodgeball, I realized it was better to lose honestly than to win while cheating. It wasn't a popular view with teammates, but it was the right thing to do.

Huh. That didn't ramble near as much as I thought it would. I must be forgetting something. Oh, I will say that I'm tempted to bring along his rental application and go line-by-line over the lies on it, but I know he won't hear it, and he won't learn anything from it and it will just extend the time I have to deal with him and make him resent me more instead of less. Sometimes it is best to just walk away. And I'm increasingly certain this is one of those times. I'm buying my soul, just like Jules in "Pulp Fiction." Huh. Maybe I should sell all my properties and things and just "walk the earth." Like Kane from "Kung Fu." Have adventures.

Incidentally, that would be an awesome TV show: Jules, after "Pulp Fiction," walking the earth like Kane from "Kung Fu" and having adventures.

 

[Volpone]

I am increasingly like a toddler: My brain gets a certain amount of stimulation and then I need to take a nap because I get too cranky. 3 months ago I had no smartphone financial apps. Now I have 3. Mostly to deal with renters. The new renter is already making me nervous. Is it a sick joke by the Universe that her move-in date was April Fool's Day? She said she generally makes payments with a phone app so I looked into getting that set up. The problem is, the bank my business is at is from the mid 1990s. They do not use the app in question and there is no way to set up a business account that is at an unsupported bank. As I'm fighting through all this, I'm also dealing with about 3 robocalls and kicking myself in the head for not sticking with my first impulse on this person and just looking further for a more qualified applicant. Good news is, I've finally took the step of getting a property management company to handle this stuff for me. Of course everyone I need is on vacation this week, but I at least got the ball rolling. Now I guess I'd better steel myself to call up the utilities and see if the new renter has scheduled switch-over yet (I'm betting no) and then call her and try to figure out how to get her to stop violating her lease within the first week of moving in.

 

[Volpone]

Oh. Meanwhile, my friend who roped me into working for him in a job I hated for 9 months is texting me "Hey, here's a 5plex for sale. I wonder if it would be profitable." I'm like, "multifamilies are generally a lot more work to manage than homes," and he's like "yes, but I'd just be the silent partner. I think it would work."

That's because you don't know anything about real estate investing or property management. I'm already telling you how hard just managing a single family home is and you're thinking I want to be your property manager? Shit, he already pitched that idea to me awhile back--and just for homes, not an apartment--and I told him I wasn't interested. Then I put him in touch with a guy that, literally that is his business model: He buys places, renovates them, and then sells them to investors, finds renters, collects the rent, maintains the properties and then sends the owner their profit. My guy passed on it because he said he only trusted me.

I hate when people waste my time.

 

[Volpone]

And then he calls me because he wants someone to talk to while he's playing "Age of Empires." I'm printing up my utilities contact number--which involved finding and loading printer paper, remembering I need blue and black printer ink soon, and writing my tax ID on the sheet just in case I need it--and running through my head how I'm going to play this whole thing at 9:30 tomorrow morning. And then the phone rings. Probably shouldn't have taken it, but apparently I can't learn.

I'm an introvert. And I don't like confrontation. And I like to trust people and treat them with respect. I've spent the day feeling like I've been played for a sucker and that I'm not being respected and my trust has been betrayed, but trying to believe it is all a misunderstanding or something that can be fixed with training if I present it in the right way. Although my renter didn't take my call and took hours to reply to my text. So my batteries are pretty low already. And so are the batteries on my phone. So I'm trying to recharge both for a confrontation first thing in the morning. The last thing I need to do at 9pm is make conversation.

 

[Volpone]

Aaand real quickly coming back to the whole problem of no one will tell you if you're doing the right thing or not in life: Tenant hasn't changed the utilities over yet. Lease says they pay utilities. Considering just taking the utilities out of the company name and letting them deal with it if they don't get it turned on but my friend says this is "constructive eviction and the courts don't look kindly on it." But an actual property manager, today, recommended just doing it and said it was perfectly legal. So I got online to check it and my friend would appear to be misunderstanding (or we're talking across each other). You can absolutely turn the utilities off. You can even turn them off (apparently) if you've agreed to include utilities. But that gives the tenant recourse to break the lease, stop paying rent, and move out. That is not a bad thing IMO. I'm hiring a property management company. If she leaves then they aren't saddled with a bad tenant I picked.

 

[Volpone]

(I should have clarified: My friend who owns and manages properties in the same town as me.)

 

[Volpone]

I am increasingly sure my first read on this renter was right. I should've kept looking. Oh well. It's done. And it may work out. That may be an advantage women have over men in property management--I feel like women are more willing to back out of something if it seems increasingly fishy. There were a few points before the lease was signed where I had new inputs that should've pushed me in a new direction but I was like "well, I said she could move in." But another thing is, just not knowing--or maybe say being as experienced--in the fair housing stuff. I'm a little leery if I've made an offer to a black single mother and then pulled it back after I've met her. But bringing in professional property management should help with that. Or at least someone else gets to worry about it.

This is a little bit therapy and a little bit organizing my thoughts (and a little bit procrastination). Because it is increasingly time to buy my next property. And it is a little scary for a few reasons: At this point I've got some properties and I'm more aware of the risk and headaches after the past few months. So it's easy to come up with excuses to hold off. "I need to wait until I turn the one that is supposed to come vacant at the end of the month." "I need to get property management in place first." "As foreclosures and evictions get rolling again and interest rates climb, there will finally be some deals out there again." This will also be my first financed deal. Now I know the rules are that leverage is good and it's better to risk someone else's money than your own, but my brain isn't quite wired like that. And to me it seems like it is a lot risky to own a place and have no mortgage payment in case something unexpected affects your cash flow. For as much as I constantly bitched about working for my friend, the truth is (and I think I said it at least once) it was a nice break and chance to hide out from doing this while building up some money. But it also created inertia. I had some momentum going when I took the job. If it had ended no later than September like was promised, it likely would've been a lot better. Because then I'd have been able to turn the vacant rental a lot more quickly and I'd have been in a more confident place when my Problem Child issues were coming to a head. But none of that happened. So there's no point in second-guessing it.

Oh, and the quote that keeps running through my head of late is Doc Holiday, regarding Johnny Ringo's corpse and saying "poor soul, he was just too high-strung." Caring about things and worrying about things may be a strength for me, but it is also a weakness.

 

[Oerdin]

Why even worry about the utilities? Just call the utility company to tell them when to end service and then the rest is on her.

 

[Volpone]

Yup. That's the plan.

 

[Volpone]

A lot of it is fear of laws. Like--and this will sound racist, but hear me out--when she's filling out the lease and has to put the names of her children on it and all three have different last names--and none has her last name. I'm not discriminating because of race or marital status or familial issues. This says to me you have lousy planning and decision-making skills, bad judgement, and are unreliable. But--even though I don't have enough properties to be bound by equal housing laws, I'm still gunshy of making a decision based on common sense for fear of running afoul of some "fairness" law that will ruin my life's work.

 

[Volpone]

Well fuck. The browser was running like an Ethiopian sprinter on crack and was gobbling up RAM like Pac Man so I killed it in Explorer and instead of saving what I'd typed, here we are.

Long story short: I live on an acre of land that was a rental property for a couple decades. So lots of deferred maintenance and neglect. In the best of times, owning property with land seems to involve a lot of collecting and then burning brush, but with an acre that's been neglected for 20 years?... I've lost count of how much brush I've burned. Got roped into working for my friend last June and never really had enough time to burn the ever-growing brush pile behind the garage. So I started in on it yesterday. Made a pretty good dent in it but still much to do.

Other thing is I've got a gravel drive. Along with the 1 car, there's a 6 car shed parallel to the drive. When I bought the place, I was like "crap, I'm going to have to truck in a shit-ton of gravel to make this all work. But after driving on it a bit I realized there *was* a shit ton of gravel--right where it should be. Problem was, there were 2 decades of topsoil and vegetation over it. So I've been gradually working on that. So once I have spent a set amount of time adding to my fire (and taking from my brush pile) I get to work pulling up weeds, grass, and topsoil from my gravel. God knows how long that's going to take. I'm starting my 2nd year of doing it and finally starting to see results, but there's still much left to do.

I mention this because even after dinner, I'm almost down to the top end of my "fighting weight". And my shoulders are definitely feeling ready for a good night's sleep. Even without the mental exhaustion of being a "data analyst," sitting at a desk really packed on the pounds and destroyed muscle tone. I'm also realizing, as large as my brain is, I absolutely NEED to do physical, menial things--things where I see results. I'm tired and my brush pile is smaller. That's a good day. A lot better day than that the 2.000+ item SharePoint checklist has been updated for the month and the Alteryx and Tableau programs have been run on the Oracle data and the results have been uploaded to the server.

Oh, and once I finish burning this brush pile, I should probably rake and gather an acre worth of brush to create an equally large brush pile to burn. Then I can finally start getting up in trees to cut back deadwood and create an even larger brush pile to burn. After that it's ongoing maintenance and I probably have 1/3 as many brush piles to burn each year.

 

[Lanzman]

They let you burn brush where you are? Man, if I could do that it would save me a TON of work.

 

[Volpone]

"I can do anything. I'm the chief of police."

Seriously, I don't know. It's kind of a country thing. I tend to pick rainy overcast days to hide the smoke (and reduce fire danger). I joke about having some hot dogs or a packet of marshmallows handy but these days I just do it. If a police officer shows up, I'll play dumb and hope for the best.

 

[Volpone]

OK. This is gonna be all over the place (OK, it won't, because I don't feel like going off on the angsty other tangent). First off, I hate how paranoid and untrusting I've become. Called to get utilities closed out today and the gas and electric (same utility) were actually changed over. But not the water. So at work tonight it popped into my head "what if she knows how to turn the water back on?" It's really pretty easy to do and pretty common knowledge. I don't actually think she's a criminal mastermind, just lazy and has different priorities than me, but a part of me can't rule it out.

Meanwhile, found a house listed that might be a pretty good deal. Came up late on the 31st (last Thursday). Drove by it Sunday but it was occupied and the residents were kind of giving me the stinkeye so I left it at that. Finally got around to seeing it this morning. It was...interesting. The place was easy to spot from the "FUCK JOE BIDEN" banner on the front porch. Our host was, like, a 40 year old stripper named "Angel" (and not in a good 40 year old stripper way) and we couldn't look at 2 of the bedrooms because people were sleeping in them. Very cluttered decor with plenty of skull motive decorations. Main feature of the garage was a burnt out motorcycle. BUT...the price was right, everything seemed sound with minimal (maybe) work required. Definitely worth considering. Now here's where it gets interesting: While I was waiting on the seller's disclosure sheet and the contract template they wanted us to use, I had another look at the listing: "Must close by the 8th. Ready to close today." Well shit. If I really want it, I might be able to pull the trigger today.

So now for the seller's disclosure. It is worthless. Like it was filled out by a chimp. Things in it that I know to be inaccurate. BUT...it also says the place was used for production of meth and was never decontaminated. So do you just discount that like all the things like that then nonexistent sprinkler, AC, and security systems have had problems? I dunno. But now on to the contract. "At close all seller's possessions will be removed and the property will be 'broom clean'." Given that the close is supposed to happen by tod-yesterday, it is impossible for the seller to meet their end of the contract either--even if a buyer shows up ready to do an all-cash deal (that was another condition) on 8 days notice.

Now, the listing realtor is also a real estate investor. So I have to wonder if all this is just a front, where he had to go through the motions of listing the property so he could tell the seller "well, no one put in an offer. I'll buy it off you for half what you wanted." I feel like this is probably as unethical as hell, but everything about the whole deal smells so fishy that it wouldn't surprise me.

Next up I'll have to talk about death and being forgotten.

 

[Volpone]

OK. Next part of the rambling post--that will also actually be relatively cogent and pithy: It is astonishing, how many "experts" have no idea what they're talking about and no common sense outside what they've been trained for. As a part-time person at the factory, I fill in wherever they're short someone. Last night I was on the test loop. The stuff we make runs through a diagnostic before it gets boxed up and sent to be shipped out. If it fails, it gets sent off for repairs. Well the way they do this is, they connect up the relevant inputs and outputs to test function. Then they plug an RJ-45 jack into a port to do the testing. When the product rolls off the test loop, you have to take all the test connections off and tuck things away so it can be boxed up for shipping. Last night I was, among other things, unplugging the RG-45 jack.

Now sometimes the jack wouldn't come out. That's a little hairy when you have about 16 seconds to do all your tasks and you've got to hit that mark every 16 seconds for 8 hours. So the supervisors were like "when that happens, just twist the jack and wiggle it until it comes out." That worked...kind of. But then, somehow, I managed to get a chance to actually look at the jack. You know how some RJ-45 jacks will have a little flexible "boot" on them so you can just squeeze on that instead of having to find the actual little plastic tab you have to depress? These were like that. Only for whatever reason, instead of using a jack with a foolproof, fully enclosed boot, they had a flexible tab that laid on top of the plastic tab. So what had happened is, on a couple of the test stations, the flexible tab had gotten *under* the plastic tab, so there was no way to get it to depress enough to release the jack. The "twist and wiggle it" thing worked...kind of...as long as you didn't mind doing it every 20 minutes (I didn't clock how long it took to cycle through all the testing stations, so we'll just call it 20 minutes), the effed up jack would come around and you'd fight with it. Well once I realized how the jacks were set up, I knew what was wrong--and how to fix it--and had no problems for the rest of the night. That said, 2 levels of supervisors either...no, not either, they flat-out had no understanding of what was happening. Because besides "twist/wiggle" their other solution was to stop using that station and get the techs to fix it. Well "fix" consisted of moving the flexible tab out from under the plastic tab and putting it back on top. Simple. Obvious. If they understood it but thought I was too stupid to understand it, they could've fixed it themselves the next time I had a problem. But they didn't understand their own equipment, so I, who'd never actually worked with the stuff before, figured it out in a few hours--while doing the same repetitive task every 16 seconds.

Also, at one point, one of the jacks got pinned in the belt, almost effing everything up before I could free it while Big Supervisor was watching. This pulled said RJ-45 cable way down in its harness, so every time it got disconnected it dragged dangerously close to the belt. I was the only person who realized "hey, maybe I need to pull this wire back up into its harness before it gets snagged again and effs up the entire line." And Big Sup was standing right there at least twice when it came around. But it was up to me to fix it. Who'd never worked with the gear before. And was doing a repetitive task every 16 seconds.

I hate humans so much.

 

[Volpone]

Well, this shitty board, my shitty browser, and my shitty connection just ate another great post--in spite of me copying it to memory before killing the browser. But to sum up, humans are stupid and I hate them.

 

[Volpone]

Well, this shitty board, my shitty browser, and my shitty connection just ate another great post--in spite of me copying it to memory before killing the browser. But to sum up, humans are stupid and I hate them.

As it happens, it must've posted before I had to kill the browser processes. Because there it is.

 

[Volpone]

...found a house listed that might be a pretty good deal. Came up late on the 31st (last Thursday). Drove by it Sunday but it was occupied and the residents were kind of giving me the stinkeye so I left it at that. Finally got around to seeing it this morning. It was...interesting. The place was easy to spot from the "FUCK JOE BIDEN" banner on the front porch. Our host was, like, a 40 year old stripper named "Angel" (and not in a good 40 year old stripper way) and we couldn't look at 2 of the bedrooms because people were sleeping in them. Very cluttered decor with plenty of skull motive decorations. Main feature of the garage was a burnt out motorcycle. BUT...the price was right, everything seemed sound with minimal (maybe) work required. Definitely worth considering. Now here's where it gets interesting: While I was waiting on the seller's disclosure sheet and the contract template they wanted us to use, I had another look at the listing: "Must close by the 8th. Ready to close today." Well shit. If I really want it, I might be able to pull the trigger today.

So now for the seller's disclosure. It is worthless. Like it was filled out by a chimp. Things in it that I know to be inaccurate. BUT...it also says the place was used for production of meth and was never decontaminated. So do you just discount that like all the things like that then nonexistent sprinkler, AC, and security systems have had problems? I dunno. But now on to the contract. "At close all seller's possessions will be removed and the property will be 'broom clean'." Given that the close is supposed to happen by tod-yesterday, it is impossible for the seller to meet their end of the contract either--even if a buyer shows up ready to do an all-cash deal (that was another condition) on 8 days notice.

Now, the listing realtor is also a real estate investor. So I have to wonder if all this is just a front, where he had to go through the motions of listing the property so he could tell the seller "well, no one put in an offer. I'll buy it off you for half what you wanted." I feel like this is probably as unethical as hell, but everything about the whole deal smells so fishy that it wouldn't surprise me. ...

OK. Found out more. Realtor says the seller has been very difficult to work with. So the disclosure is as good as it will get. Also, he is unlikely to take any less than the asking price. And the house is being auctioned on Tuesday, so if I could close on Monday, we could do a deal. And they'd let me withhold $10,000 until the seller is out. If he isn't out in a month, he loses the $10,000.

This is a case of where you can't save someone from their own stupidity. It's likely this guy could've made a deal. The house is likely worth quite a bit more than he wants. But waiting to list it a week before it has to be sold--and wanting an all-cash deal, filling out a worthless disclosure, having the place look like crap and be occupied? The thing is on the tax rolls at 25% less than he wants. And he bought it less than 3 years ago for what it is on the tax rolls for. Now making 25% in 3 years wouldn't be crazy if actual value had been added to the place, but if anything, it is more run-down and junky than it was 3 years ago. And if I do a deal while he and his entourage are in there, I get $10,000 to have a tenant that I have no lease with and no security deposit on. I can imagine easily costing $10,000 in legal fees, dumpster rental, lost time and rent, etc, jut to get rid of the guy--especially when told he's difficult to deal with, clearly makes bad decisions, and is a procrastinator.

It's like he doesn't really want to get a sale. Is he stupid or is he actually trying to get a low price? Is he hoping to burn his lender by having the place go for a low amount at auction? Being smart, you forget people do stupid things because they are stupid. When someone gets power and gas changed over but not doesn't the water, you wonder, "is she just going to go turn the water back on herself as soon as the utility guy turns it off?" It's actually pretty easy to do and a lot of people know how. Theoretically you need a special wrench because the latch has 5 sides instead of 6, but it isn't that tight and everyone--including the meter readers--usually just uses a vice grip to open the lid. But the reality is probably just that she's stupid and lazy and makes bad decisions. Just like the guy in the story above is probably just stupid and lazy and makes bad decisions. Or my other renter is stupid and lazy and makes bad decisions.

 

[Volpone]

Kind of in a...transitionary point? I'm really more of a project manager than a program manager and right now I need to focus on keeping things that are already up and running going smoothly. And I'm really more of a do-er than a delegator but I'm at a point where I need to rely on other people to do things for me. Finally, I'm used to being busy. There's always something to do. When you're done, you move on to the next thing. And I have a hard time with a pace where you wait on other people. That said, it makes perfect sense, because other people are busy as well. And what might be your #1 priority may not even be in their top 10. So it's a tricky balancing act--the squeaky wheel gets the grease, but if you squeak too much they might just decide to get a different wheel.