"You gonna get another job?"...

[Volpone]

Rental is basically ready for the new tenant. Except for 2 windows. I've got some paperwork to put together too. So. The windows. The sash sags. So if you unlock them the latch drops down 1/8" too low to lock up again--unless someone goes outside and pushes up on the top while someone inside locks it. I'd just put in new windows, except there's at least a 3 month wait--assuming you can find someone to do the job. That said, I've thought about maybe reinforcing the sash. If I could get a steel "L"...not a bracket, like an "I" beam, only smaller, and L shaped...I'm thinking I could use contact cement and screws to reinforce the sash. It would be hidden behind the insect screen on the outside so it should look fine. But it's a lot of farting around and jury-rigging for something that might not even work. Ah well, if there's time, maybe we'll give it a shot.

 

[Lanzman]

If it's a standard sized double hung window, replacing them is not all that difficult. You could DIY it, probably, and save some bucks. Tho replacing a window is definitely easier with two people.

 

[Volpone]

Getting your hands on a window is a cocksucker these days. Everyone seems to be 3-5 months out. And I've got someone moving in in 48 hours or so. Yeah, replacing a window is a bit like replacing a water heater. Technically it is within my skill range, but I'd just as soon pay someone who does it for a living and avoid the hassles and liability. Or roofing. I will roof a garage if I have to. But things have to be very very bad for me to be putting a roof on a house. Pros can do it faster and better and if it leaks I just call them up and they come and fix it. Garage roofs are generally a lot simpler and if it does leak, it isn't the end of the world.

 

[Volpone]

"The scorpion and the frog." Fuck it. Google it if you want the reference. The point is that I'm working to get rid of my toxic renter. And I have no idea if he knows he's toxic. Or if he *can* know. Because I told him. At least twice. No, three times. At least. But it's amazing. My wants and needs are simple. Very, very simple. Literally spelled out in black and white: On the 1st of the month I want rent paid in full. That's basically it. I mean there's a ton of other stuff: Don't run a brothel or an opium den out of my house. Don't piss off the neighbors or burn the place to the ground, but basically, if I'm getting the rent every month, on time, in full, with no headaches, you can be burying hookers in the crawlspace. But my psychopath tenant can't seem to get that. He got a lease on a great, amazing house. Less than $1 a SF. Much less. And a landlord who literally drops what he's doing to meet his needs. But he has to play games. You do something for him and he doesn't see that as a sign he should reciprocate. He sees kindness as weakness and a reason to see how far you can push other things. And that's how we got to where we are.

Dumbo revealed that he'd have problems paying the December rent. I said I wasn't happy about that but at least his lease was up at the end of February so there was that option. He, of course was hurt and butthurt and said what a great tenant he'd been. Actually? No. Not that great. Pain in the ass. From before Day One. Absolutely in my bounds to kick him out when the lease was up (and he wanted a 1 year lease. I pushed for 2-3 years, but he held fast because he "wanted to be sure it worked for him." Funny, how that works both ways, bud. Anyhow, he reassured that he would be able to make the rent. He told me all this 8 days before rent was due. And 2 days after he promised he'd be able to pay the rent, he told me he wouldn't be able to pay the rent.

Then he tried to use some sketchy weasels for "rent assistance." (When someone asks "How many properties do you own?" they're working an Equal Housing suit. Because if you own less than 3 rentals, Equal Housing doesn't apply to you.) Got the rent paid. Then he wanted to pay rent with credit card. I said "OK." Because I was stuck with him for a few more months. Found out PayPal would work. Then, the day I was set to send him an invoice, he asks if I can do Venmo. :garamet: So I jumped through hoops to set up Venmo, ultimately failing. And being shocked by how much PayPal takes for processing a transaction. By the next month (and I'm leaving a fair amount of drama out) I had Venmo up and running. He says "I don't have Venmo." Bitch, I'm literally looking at your Venmo profile as you post that. But I bite my lip and use PayPal. And charge him the obscene transaction costs. Which he bitches about--after agreeing to them.

So. Eventually we get through the lease. He wants a new lease. I tell him "sorry," we're putting everyone on month-to-month because of the pandemic. And don't forget: Rent goes up 2.9% automatically after a year, so your March rent will be $XXX. "OK. I just don't want to find out I have 30 days to find a new place."

Feb 27. 10:40pm. "Rent is here." He puts the rent in the mailbox. So since I don't want the mailman accidentally getting it and I don't want to get up bright and early, I put on pants and go get it.

It is for last year's rent. Show of hands: Who here didn't see that coming? No one? I thought so. Next morning I tactfully "remind" him rent went up. He apologizes and promises to get me the remainder. A day goes by. 2 days. At 12:01am on March 2, I do not have my full rent. He apologizes and promises to get my a check when he gets off work. Nothing. Finally got it at 6:51am March 4.

So I sent him his walking papers. Funny. Takes 4 days to write a check for $24. But at 5:30 on the day you get a letter telling you you have to be out by April 30, you can call right up to whine, bitch, plead, and threaten.

Yeah, there's more to this story. But it's about time for bed for me. Much to do tomorrow.

 

[jack]

Talk about a long and winding road.... My condolences

 

[Lanzman]

Getting your hands on a window is a cocksucker these days. Everyone seems to be 3-5 months out. And I've got someone moving in in 48 hours or so. Yeah, replacing a window is a bit like replacing a water heater. Technically it is within my skill range, but I'd just as soon pay someone who does it for a living and avoid the hassles and liability. Or roofing. I will roof a garage if I have to. But things have to be very very bad for me to be putting a roof on a house. Pros can do it faster and better and if it leaks I just call them up and they come and fix it. Garage roofs are generally a lot simpler and if it does leak, it isn't the end of the world.

True dat. A good roofing crew can strip off the old roof of a standard SFH and have a new one finished in two days. Three at the most. If it takes longer than that, they're not a good (experienced) crew.

 

[Volpone]

The crew I use... Decided to to a shingle over. Old roof was in OK shape--just very very worn out. They got the job done in a morning. I was headed over to check on them and met their truck on the way out. Did another place on Thanksgiving day. 5 layers of shingles and they got it done in a day IIRC. Maybe 2. Actually, they do other work. I should see if they can get me windows.

 

[Volpone]

The Plan... Coming into my 2nd week after slipping off my contracting job. Getting back into the rhythm and regaining my confidence. I've just about got my new renter moved in. I wanna go back and have another look at my dodgy windows and see if I can retrofit them. I also need to, as mentioned, see if my roof guys have a line on windows. Need to get her to sign the move-in inspection and I need to do up a "user-guide" for the home. I doubt she'll actually read it, but it doesn't hurt. Tomorrow I also need to write myself a letter. I suspect my Problem Child will try to play games on April rent and technically, per the lease, if he mails me the rent in an envelope postmarked the 1st, it is on time. So I need to see how long it takes for a letter postmarked April 1 to get to me so I know when to send the 7 day letter (assuming--and it's a safe bet--that he'll try to play games). Then I get a kind of...op-pause. I need to see how flexible my free Website is and retool my application process to make it less of a headache for me. Then there's plenty of chores to do around this house until April 30, when I find out if Problem Child will leave without a fight (I think he will). Next I get to get that place ready and rented. At that point it is time to get serious about looking for another rental property (I'll probably look in the ensuing days, but that's when I officially make it my main effort). It's a simple plan. It's a good plan. I can't wait to see what fun fuckery God has in store for it.

 

[Oerdin]

You will want to get any additional property purchases done before interest rates go up, and they will go up, they will habe to in order to fight inflation. Also, the guy likely will not pay April rent, he can barely pay his normal rent, so how does he pay 1st and deposit on a new place plus rent. Make sure you have your notice today or quit made out and ready.

 

[jack]

^^ pretty solid advice.

 

[Volpone]

Oh yeah. He's allowed to pay by mail and it is on time as long as it is postmarked the 1st, so today I mailed myself a letter to see when I can send out my 7 day letter. Funny story: Tomorrow rent is due, so I get a text from him at lunchtime. "I've got the April rent for you"? No, don't be silly. "No one is answering my applications. If you don't let me stay in my home, my children will be out on the street." Well, that sucks dude. But it isn't my fault or my problem. It is your fault. And if your Mom and Stepdad (who you work for in the family business) won't let you stay with them, and they're willing to put their grandchildren out on the street, then you've got bigger problems than I can fix.

Still, as an empathic person, this is going to be an exhausting month. I really resent people that try to foist their bad decisions onto you.

 

[Volpone]

Therapy/psychoanalysis post: I've learned long ago that my main motivators are helping people and solving problems. So my kryptonite is when I run into someone who desperately needs help--but can NOT BE helped. You've just got to let them go down and not let them take you with them.

Rationally, I know there is absolutely nothing I can do to help my Problem Child renter. I tried for a year. Got nowhere. Got nothing but stress and headaches for my efforts. But legally it takes some time and effort to get rid of him. Best case, he pays his rent and moves out by the end of the month. Worst case, he forces me to evict, fights, and wins. Reality is probably somewhere in between.

The frustrating thing is how pointless it is. He's got a great house at a great price. But he just can't resist fucking around for some reason. And when he finds out then he plays the victim and the guilt trip--all because he couldn't just pay his rent in full by the day it is due and not lie to me. So now he texts me about how his children are going to be "on the street" and "can't we stay?" And I absolutely cannot cave because his whole thing is that he thinks I'm weak and stupid and will always cave.

But also, I don't dare explain any of this for fear that I may say something that could bite me in the butt in court.

It's funny how, as a kid, looking at cartoons, where the angel and devil are on the character's shoulders, that doesn't make sense. But as a grown-up, it makes so much sense.

 

[Volpone]

I may have mentioned this in this thread. I've definitely said it elsewhere. One of the many great things about the Bond books, compared to the movies, is that Bond doesn't particularly enjoy killing. And he likes it less and less the older he gets. In the 2nd novel(?), "Live & Let Die," he knows he's going to have to go kill a whole bunch of people the next morning--spends weeks rehearsing and training for it--so the night before he proceeds to drink an entire bottle of whisky. I can relate to that.

 

[Volpone]

"...and now for something completely different."

Artsy-fartsy, drunken ramblings. I'm of an age that a DA/SA semiauto decocker is the ideal sidearm. Probably in 9mm. With a double-stack mag. BUT! I eventually got me a wheelgun. Big beautiful blued S&W Highway Patrolman with walnut grips. And it is a magnificent machine. The tactile clicks and weight of the mechansims as it advances each round to the chamber. The stiff but smooth, heavy DA trigger pull, the crisp SA trigger. The pleasant firing with .38 spl rounds. The punishing but devastating report of the .357 magnum rounds. The realization it will behave utterly reliably in a gritty, shitty desert. True, the M9 Beretta has 2.7x more rounds. But this is scant comfort if the 2nd shot stovepipes and jams the gun because of pervasive sand and grit. 6 shots is better than 1--even if there are 14 more perfectly good bullets in the clip behind the jam.

 

[Volpone]

I hate humans so much. As I mentioned, this girl from Oregon tried to get in touch with me last week. I was out so I missed the call. Last night around 11 I decided to be civil and call her back (should be around 8 out there). Nothing. So I messaged her that I'd try again at the time she called last Sunday. She got back to me at 5 this morning. She gets up at 2am? Anyway, I realize I'm about 15 minutes past when I said I'd call so I go over and make the call. No answer. I guess you must not miss me as much as you said you did. Because I've, once again, put more effort into this than you.

 

[Volpone]

You can't "win" at life. I mean, not until the end. The best you can hope for is to be winning. Things can go sideways at any time. Today I got a text from Problem Child that he has come to terms with that he needs to move and will be out by the 30th. I was all set to mail out the 7 day letter because he hasn't paid his April rent yet. And I probably should. But I'm just so tired of fighting and I'm inclined to just keep quiet and be grateful if I get the place back in good shape without having to file an eviction.

Before the news, The Plan was to spend April on assorted chores here--patching the roof on the big shed, getting the carriage house cleaned out and running electricity to it so I can put a concrete floor in, continuing to reclaim the gravel driveway from all the soil and vegetation that has overgrown it, sorting out the lighting in the basement, etc. Also getting my Website and my screening process improved so it is less exhausting, stressful, and labor-intensive. But I have seen a few houses that were interesting so there's a temptation to make the leap and buy the next rental. That said, I'm still a bit doubtful of myself after the past year. One of the places I have my eye on seemed like a decent deal and, indeed, it was supposed to have had several full-price offers on it. But now I see it is still listed. So part of me wonders what is wrong with it that no one wants it. They're all kind of like "what's the catch?" or "what am I missing that everyone else sees?" instead of the more optimistic thought that I have myself a "blue ocean" niche where I can make certain deals work that most investors can't.

Gotta fully get my mojo back. But the way to do that may be to just do it.

 

[Volpone]

...aand some daydreaming. To recap, my current property has a bit corrugated tin shed with parking for 5+ vehicles (2 double garage doors, 1 single, and a decent amount of space between each door for things like motorcycles, lawnmowers, wheelbarrows, etc). There is also a "carriage house) that I suspect is too small for even my Ford Mustang to comfortably fit in. Oh, and the ubiquitous rusty tin "yard barn" which is currently a woodshed as I've worked to clear all the copious deadwood on the property. I have a car, a van, a motorcycle, a bicycle, lawnmower, wheelbarrow, and a few other things someone needs to maintain properties.

The current Plan is to rent out whatever spaces I can for storage. But just now a wild idea popped into my head. Totally impractical on every level, but somehow attractive: Turn 40-60% of the big tin shed into a dive bar. There really aren't any nice bars on this side of town--mostly chains. And it has a nice dive bar ambiance to it. There would be ample parking in front of the shed. Stick in a big wood-burning stove for heat and/or cooking (and/or have a grille/smoker out back for ribs) (shoot, I've got plenty of wood even). I've got electricity. Water wouldn't be impossible. At the most ghetto/redneck, run the garden hose from the house to hookups at the back of the shed and stick a water heater in there. It could be a pretty neat little place.

Of course the obvious problems are that it isn't zoned for this, certainly wouldn't pass any inspections required, I have no experience in the industry, and I hate people. But it would still be kind of neat to have a speakeasy/roadhouse.

 

[Lanzman]

I hate humans so much.

I grok.

 

[Volpone]

I hate my brain. Sunday Problem Child texted me that he would be moving out by the 30th. By that point rent was 2 days past due. Earlier, as contingency planning, an attorney advised me that if this happened, I should send a "7 day letter." Pretty sure Oerdin advised this as well. After sleeping on it and much soul-searching, I decided I would just take him moving out by the 30th as a "win," maybe see if I can collect on the rent after the fact. There is a reasoning behind this, but I'll spare you from it--mostly. Long story short, it was a mix of being true to my nature and the scene in "Pulp Fiction," where Jules gives the robber all the money in his wallet so he isn't obligated to kill him. My friend politely told me not to be a pussy and send the letter. Ultimately, I sent the letter. At least 1 other person, after the fact, told me to send the letter. So now I wait for him to get it on Wednesday and the butthurt that will ensue from it.

But more to the point, as I was at work tonight at the factory, killing the hours of monotony, my brain said "Hey, you know what would be funny? If, after he moved out, he came back and threw a rock through 1 or more of your windows. Right now windows are expensive--if you can get them at all. And it isn't like the cops will catch him--or even make an effort to." Good point brain. Apart from putting in cameras and/or sleeping there for a bit, there isn't much I can do with this little tidbit of angst.

 

[Volpone]

The long dark teatime of the soul. I don't seem to have the ability to get people to take me seriously. So I wind up having to show that I'm not bluffing. And at that point no one is happy. That or I really am a dumb sucker. As I'm in the process of getting rid of my Problem Child, the reservations I had about my new renter are being reinforced. Did the routine call yesterday to confirm the utilities had been switched over. They had not. Texted her (she's a bartender so I'm not sure when's good to call her). She said she was doing it that day, before work. So I called to check again today. They still had not. So now I'm wondering why? Does she have bad organizational skills? Is she easily distracted? Does she just not understand how important fulfilling obligations and keeping promises are? Is she unable to put utilities in her name? Or does she just think I'm a sucker she can walk all over? None of them are good options. Heck, maybe I *am* a sucker people can just walk all over. I seem to keep making the same mistakes. Although this time I wasn't terribly happy about my choice. But she met my selection criteria. And was better than any of the other applicants I was getting.

I definitely need to make my application process more work for applicants and less work for myself.

There was a movie from a few years back--OK over a decade--"You, Me, and Dupree," where Owen Wilson played a misfit who was adrift until he finally found his purpose. I can relate to this. I should be able to do this. But for some reason I'm having troubles. Well, I guess I'd better go be productive. I've got at least 2 more things on today's checklist. And I should probably get some exercise and get the blood going.