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FIGHTING CACTUS!

Remember the one where Ross and Chandler got fired from their jobs for making a Swedish themed porn film, and spent a week living in a box behind the mayors house, till they got chased off by ANGRY DOGS?
 
Remember the one where Monica thought Chandler liked watching Shark porn?
 
Remember when they finally got Joey tested and they found out he was in fact mentally retarded?

It was one of those "very special" episodes.
 
Remember when Monica went crazy ripping out wires and chunks of the wall of her apartment trying to find out what a seemingly useless switch did?
 
Best episode was the one where Joey got married to a black girl and Chanlder and Ross kept whispering racist remakrs about her and Joey got so angry that he wanted to hit them and then his wife put her hand on his shoulder to see what was wrong but Joey in his blind rage punched her in the face and she fell and hit her head and died and Ross and Chandler helped him bury the body and the punchline was Ross saying "we weren't being racist, we were saying she was hot!"
 
Remember when Monica went crazy ripping out wires and chunks of the wall of her apartment trying to find out what a seemingly useless switch did?

Do I ever!
 
I didn't like that one where Ross had sex with a cat.
 
Neither did the cat
 
Remember the time Ross wore tight leather pants that melted to his legs so he couldn't get them off?

Remember the time Ross overbleached his teeth so they glowed in the dark?
 
Was that in the episode they killed that Dentist that Rachel was engaged too?
 
Was that in the episode they killed that Dentist that Rachel was engaged too?

No, it was in the episode Rachel's gynecologist stabbed her vagina.
 
Monica killed the dentist because he touched her teeth with dirty gloves. It was all pretty rushed and he was never mentioned again.
 
Chandler: "Could you have KILLED that dentist any faster?"
Monica: "IIII KNOOOOOOOW!"
 
Gunther: I MASTURBATE TO YOU EVERY NIGHT, RACHEL.
Rachel: Huh, what was that, I've got something in my ear.
Gunther: IT'S MY CUM.
Rachel: What'd you say?
Gunther: I said...

(Joey runs over Gunther with a truck.)

Joey: WHASSSSSUP!
 
That was a good episode!
 
I don't like this show. Where's the remote?
 
The dog ate it.
 
haha, pwnd!
 
(Joey walks in on Monica showering.)

Joey: How YOU doin'?

Monica: Joey, you perverted fuck, you can't walk in on me!

Joey: You weren't complaining when I walked in on you last year, baby.

Monica: That was a one off...it will never happen again. I'm married to Chandler now.

Joey: Your lips say one thing but your erect nipples say another, babe.

Monica: Get away from me! Chanlder's your best friend!

Joey: And you've got the sweetest tits I ever did see...

(Joey drops his pants.)

Monica: No, this isn't happening!

(She tries to leave but Joey grabs her and roughly throws her back in the shower.)

Joey: Shut up and fuck me.

Monica: No, I don't want to, I don't...

(He forces a kiss on her. She resists at first but then starts to enjoy it.)

Monica: I hate you...

Joey: Do you?

(Monica reaches for his cock and starts wanking him off.)

Monica: Yes.

Joey: Ooooh yes...

Chandler(outside): I just go home, you in Monica?

Joey: Oh shit!

(He tries to pull away but Monica keeps wanking him.)

Monica: No, I don't want to stop.

Joey: He'll kill us like he did that homeless guy who tries to rape you.

Monica: I lied about that...I wanted to fuck the homeless guy. I got him killed to protect my secret. I'm a dirty slut.

Joey: I'm so fucking turned on. The door's open, he's going to see us!

Monica: Yeah...but he might not.

(She starts giving Joey a blowjob.)

Joey: Fuck yeah.

(Outside, Chanlder is listening to every word, sobbing to himself silently.)

Chandler: I...I guess you're not home, Monica. I'll just...go out for a coffee with Ross. I love you, Monica. I love you...

(Chandler walks away in a daze.)

Monica: Your cock is so hot, Joey.

HOURS LATER

(Ross walks in. Monica is relaxing on the sofa.)

Monica: What's up, bro?

Ross: Monica, it's Chandler...I don't know how to tell you this...he's been run over. And it looks like he walked out in front of the car on purpose.

Monica: No!

Ross: He tried to kill himself? Any idea why?

Monica: Umm...

(In the background we see a guilty looking Joey sneak out of the apartment.)

Monica: Nope!
 
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