Donovan
beer, I want beer
Being that it's almost zombie-jesus day and everybody in the western world seems to be asking for prayers or thanking God for favors received on my fucking Facebook page, the following questions occur to me. Feel free to add your own God Questions:
1. If a person thanks God for saving him from a horrible accident that narrowly missed his car and mangled several others....what did those other people do to piss God off?
2. If a person undergoing serious medical emergency or lifethreatening illness asks for prayers and is promised them but dies anyway, does that mean the request sucked, the prayers sucked or just that God didn't give a shit?
3. If a person wastes perfectly good prayers on a person who dies, does he or she get a refund, or credit toward the next medical emergency?
4. If the prayers were good and the request was good but the person dies, does the dead person have legal recourse for breach of promise? Can God be sued in absentia?
5. If a request for prayers was good, the prayers were good, and God answers those prayers allowing the person to live, BUT the recovered person forgets to thank God for blessings received: does God mangle them in a car accident the next day?
6. If people dying means that God is calling them home, wouldn't a miracle recovery just mean God doesn't want to be bothered with you?
7. If dying means being closer to God, wouldn't praying for recovery be the same as telling God to fuck Himself?
8. If all death and illness is God's will, and people successfully pray for recovery, who are they REALLY asking for help?
These are things I wonder about...
1. If a person thanks God for saving him from a horrible accident that narrowly missed his car and mangled several others....what did those other people do to piss God off?
2. If a person undergoing serious medical emergency or lifethreatening illness asks for prayers and is promised them but dies anyway, does that mean the request sucked, the prayers sucked or just that God didn't give a shit?
3. If a person wastes perfectly good prayers on a person who dies, does he or she get a refund, or credit toward the next medical emergency?
4. If the prayers were good and the request was good but the person dies, does the dead person have legal recourse for breach of promise? Can God be sued in absentia?
5. If a request for prayers was good, the prayers were good, and God answers those prayers allowing the person to live, BUT the recovered person forgets to thank God for blessings received: does God mangle them in a car accident the next day?
6. If people dying means that God is calling them home, wouldn't a miracle recovery just mean God doesn't want to be bothered with you?
7. If dying means being closer to God, wouldn't praying for recovery be the same as telling God to fuck Himself?
8. If all death and illness is God's will, and people successfully pray for recovery, who are they REALLY asking for help?
These are things I wonder about...