Troll Kingdom

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I think I was just too lazy to fully develop an autistic tic

I have no ability to remember I have locked the front door, if I think about anything else in the short distance from the door to the car I have to go back to the door, because I will have forgotten locking it.
 
I talk to strangers on tube trains. I'm not sure this qualifies as a mental disorder, but from the frightened and concerned looks I get I'm beginning to wonder.
 
I talk to strangers on the tube too, but because I have a posh northern accent they think I am a gentleman farmer that is lost in the capital and take pity.

I then explain that I am an advertising planner and that I will USE THEIR SOULS TO SELL CRISPS AND CHOCOLATE. They lose the pity quickly as I start to look less like Iain Lee and more like Christian Bale.
 
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