Ask Bickendan

[Bickendan]

Do your magic underoos chafe?

Wouldn't know. Don't have any, unlike Mommy Bridgette's claim.

 

[Gagh]

What's the easiest way to go about killing somebody with a woodwind instrument?

 

[Bickendan]

I swear to God, I read this as "Why does asperger's make one's pee smell funny?"

...Does it?

I'm not sure. We may need to ask for second opinions!

 

[Bickendan]

BIBBLE?

 

[Bickendan]

What say you on fish sticks?

...much better than looking out my balcony and seeing a neighbor's ass crack :/

 

[Bickendan]

What's the easiest way to go about killing somebody with a woodwind instrument?

It depends on your preference of killing. If going the bludgeon route, a soprano clarinet will do nicely, though I do pity the clarinet itself.

If you prefer the vuvuzela method, nothing beats an amateur oboe choir. The horror.

If you prefer to cause intestinal bowel shock, use a flute.

If you prefer to cause acute trauma through acute deafness, I recommend any clarinet (save the bass and contraalto) and go straight for the high overtones. A contrabass clarinet is surprisingly effective, though it won't cause the ear drums to rupture in of itself. I prefer the alto and up, with a special mention to the piccolo and sopranino clarinets. In a pinch, sopanino and soprillo saxophones can be used, as well as a piccolo flute. But in the latter three cases, a shanking may be needed to finish the job.

 

[Dr Dave]

Have you considered launching a bottle rocket into your neighbours ass crack?

 

[Bickendan]

Have you considered launching a bottle rocket into your neighbours ass crack?

They'd get pissy and call it a hate crime.

 

[Dr Dave]

Let me guess, they're black?

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Or gay?

 

[Yub]

Would you rape and eat a penguin? Cooked, of course, I know you're no savage.

 

[Donovan]

Sasquatch: legendary myth, undiscovered ape breed, or marketing ploy?

 

[whisky]

What was the first film you saw at the cinema?

 

[Love Child]

Bickendan I thought of you the other day. I wondered how you would feel if a woman tattooed a map across her breast, or perhaps a bridge on her backside. Why I was thinking of this I do not know. If this doesn't exist I would like to at least see or attempt a photo shop of this image. Thoughts.

 

[whisky]

Hopefully Bick wont mind these visual examples.

Spoiler

 

[Dr Dave]

I don't know about Bick, but I sure as hell don't mind.

 

[Bickendan]

Let me guess, they're black?

Yes.

 

[Bickendan]

Or gay?

I don't think so. They're not flamboyant enough. Now normally, this wouldn't mean anything, but since black people tend to know how to dress (when not going for the gangsta look), and my neighbors don't know how to dress (not even gangsta!)...

 

[Bickendan]

Would you rape and eat a penguin? Cooked, of course, I know you're no savage.

Rape, no. Cooked, with rapé, sounds intriguing. In fact, I've a nefarious idea I need to ask of Pope Dan...

 

[Bickendan]

Sasquatch: legendary myth, undiscovered ape breed, or marketing ploy?

Yes.










Ok, ok, serious answer. I think of Sasquatch as a combination of the first two. Personally, I think he's slumming it with Nessie.