Chat with a random stranger
- Thread starter CaptainWacky
- Start date
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
WOW, EVERY CHAT IS MORE HILARIOUS THAN THE LAST.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
I made a friend.
I think we should start thousands of random convos and advertise TK in every one. It would make us popular again!
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey brah
Stranger: hello
You: my thing is that I call everyone "brah"
Stranger: asl?
Stranger: great !
You: there is no other aspect to my personality
You: just getting that out of the way early
You: brah
Stranger: i understand
You: 55/male/Miami
You: (I'm Hulk Hogan)
Stranger: nice
You: I punch strangers sometimes
You: but I feel bad afterwards, brah
You: this isn't really working out
You: I'm going to pretend to be chinese now
Stranger: yeap
You: HI I'M A CHINK
Stranger: are u high?
Stranger: 'cuz i am
You: nah, just yellow
Stranger: im santa claus
You: do you think if Hulk Hogan had been chinese he would still have been as successful?
Stranger: nope
Stranger: maybe in my head
You: yeah
Stranger: cuz im high
You: I can hardly imagine it
You: but I'm not high
Stranger:
You: I should get high and try to imagine a chinese Hulk Hogan
Stranger: hulk hogan is hot
Stranger: yeap
You: his daughter would be hot with a different face
You: I say we slice her face off
Stranger: im his daughter but i have a different face
You: wait, you're a girl?
You: better put my pants back on then
Stranger: no, im a transvestite
You: and stop wanking
You: (I'm gay and I thought you were a guy)
You: ah-h-h
You: have you read Dune?
Stranger: IM A GUY MUTHAFUCKA!
You: okay *starts wanking again*
Stranger: i cant remember cuz im high
You: you'd remember if you'd read Dune
You: there's lots of sand in it
Stranger: mmmmmmm..... beach........
You: Hulk Hogan spends a lot of time at the beach
You: watching his daughter sunbathe...
Stranger: insesto
You: not if he doesn't touch her
You: unfortunately, he does
Stranger: I KNEW IT!
You: I heard he does the Hulk Up face when he cums
Stranger: thats soooooo disgusting
You: it would be even more disgusting if he was chinese
Stranger: chinese people are small
You: anyway, my name is Sarek and I post at www.trollkingdom.net
You: come by to see me sometime!
Stranger: i will
You: well if Hogan was chinese he'd be a tall one
You: like 5'8
You: that's a giant to the chinese
Stranger: if he were chinese he would be small too
Stranger: what is that website?
You: it's just a message board
Stranger: okay
You: where all the members are secretly gay
You: so just like any other message board then
You: I'm going to go rub some lotion into Brooke, bye
You have disconnected.
I think we should start thousands of random convos and advertise TK in every one. It would make us popular again!
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
Stranger: Do you like 2nd hand tea bags?
You: Hi!
You: I like joggy fish
Stranger: Do you like 2nd hand tea bags?
You: No. Only joggy fish
Stranger: omg
You: Do you like joggy fish?
Stranger: how could u not like 2nd hand teabags
Stranger: nope
You: Well you should try to like joggy fish
You: They are nice.
Stranger: no i shouldnt
You: That's what I would expect from someone who likes 2nd hand teabags!
Stranger: y?
You: The joggy fish told me
Stranger: Im rubber your glue wat eva u say bounces off me and sticks to u?
Stranger: !
You: !!
Stranger: !!!
You: !!!!
Stranger: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: Qeeg!
Stranger: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: jeji
You: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: This is most odd.
Stranger: kl beans
You: Cups of tinfoil
Stranger: cups of davefromblueskies
You: Drummy bears
Stranger: drummy monkeys who will one day take over mars
You: The joggy fish will stop them
Stranger: no they wont
You: Well I hope they do
Stranger: they dont
You: We don't need Drummy monkeys taking over mars.
Stranger: we do
You: It would be a disaster.
Stranger: other wise they mat take other earth
You: What makes you think they will stop at mars?!
Stranger: the kung fu panda told me
You: omg
Stranger: i no i am
You: You're God?
You: !
Stranger: yup
You: Will it all work out for me?
Stranger: most likely not
You:
Stranger: but there is little chance
Stranger: a little bit of hope u grap on to and then be crushed by
You: Well can't you swing it so I have a better chance? You being God and all.
Stranger: u would be unfair on dave the dinasour
You: He deserves it.
Stranger: well that aint doing u any favours insulting the devil
You: Wouldn't be the first or last stupid thng I've done!
Stranger: it will cause he is taking u down to hell
You: That seems unfair.
Stranger: u insluted him
Stranger: dont start complaning 2 me
You: Well he is a bit of a slut
You: So inslutting him was called for.
Stranger: he is your father luke
You: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
You: OMG
Stranger: yes u called
You: It all makes perfect sense.
Stranger: and u have a sister
You: So whih religion is correct then?
Stranger: beanie
You: That's why this world is so stupid then.
Stranger: yup
Stranger: thats y the monkeys dont want 2 take it over
You: Well, God. it has been an enlightning chat. Probably the last we will have since I'm headed for Hell. have you got any messages you want me to pass on to the Devil?
Stranger: hi dave did u like your present
You: Primo.
This site just got bookmarked.
Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
As long as we don't end up with loads of people who constantly refer to the fact that they;re high.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
I don't know how to keep their interest. 
Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
Had this weird one a minute ago
The Tomtrek
Love Wookiee
WHAT DID I DO WRONG?
Stranger: hi
You: Okay so I seem to be REALLY bad at this as everyone keeps disconnecting!
You: It makes me cry!
Stranger: m/f?
Stranger: if u r female i wont do tht
You: Yes, one of them.
Stranger: then y everyone dumps u
Stranger: i love females
You: I don't know, Paul!
Stranger: and tht too those who need help
Stranger: paul?
You: I guessed at your name, I hope you don't mind.
Stranger: u call me anyway
Stranger: wht r u here for real
You: Okay Anyway!
You: I'm here to boost my self esteem.
You: People always leave me, Anyway.
Stranger: aaah
Stranger: wht shud i do
Stranger: to help u
You: Do you know any songs or limericks?
Stranger: limericks?
You: Yes.
Stranger: dont think so
You: That's a shame, Anyway.
Stranger: thts ok with me
You: So how do you feel about the International Space Station?
Stranger: damn fuck
Stranger:
You: Those are some pretty strong feelings, Anyway!
Stranger: strong but someone shud be thr at other end
Stranger: cna u be?>
Stranger:
You: "The other end"?
You: Is this a literal end of a metaphorical end?
Stranger: yes fuck means two people
Stranger: hehe
Stranger: u can take it anyway
You: I don't think your intentions are very honourable, Anyway.
You: What would Jesus say?
Stranger: nothin like tht
You: (Nothing, he's dead)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
The Tomtrek
Love Wookiee
The Tomtrek
Love Wookiee
I could do this all day.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
I just can't talk to people.
SilentBtViolent
Rape Ape
eh
Loktar
Pinata Whacker
No love for Loktar.
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: hello
Stranger: how are you?
You: suicidal
Stranger: sweet
Stranger: do it.
You have disconnected.
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hannah
You: montana
Stranger: sweet, sup.
You: the sky
Stranger: your lame
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: hello
Stranger: how are you?
You: suicidal
Stranger: sweet
Stranger: do it.
You have disconnected.
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hannah
You: montana
Stranger: sweet, sup.
You: the sky
Stranger: your lame
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
site seems to be down or maybe I've been banned for asking everyone "ARE YOU A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL?"
SilentBtViolent
Rape Ape
I was able to log in just now. Feel free to delete this post as well as yours at your leisure, if you are so inclined. I like how this thread is mostly texts of conversations.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: im horny
You: what did you thik of the new Red Dwarf?
You: DURP A DURP A FLURPITY FLURP FLURP
Stranger: it was beautiful, almost as beautiful as your eyes
You: do you care if I'm a man or a woman?
Stranger: u leagal?
You: or a sentient chimp?
Stranger: that makes u more attractive
You: hehe
You: I can wank you off with my tale
You: *tail
You: it's prehensile, baby
Stranger: hahah tempting
You: give me a banana and we'll talk
Stranger: im getting bored of using my tail
Stranger: my bananna is 13 inches
Stranger: with that satisfy your hunger
Stranger: will
You: I'll just peel back the skin...
You: OOK OOK
Stranger: god no pain
You: hold on, this is no banana
You: it's a REALLY SMALL PENIS
You: fuck!
Stranger: only the best for u babe
You: yeah
You: do you ever get anything satisfying out of these random chats?
You: sexually, I mean
Stranger: i usually cum before anything starts to happen
You: what a waste
You: by the way, I'm from the FBI
You: FREEZE, SUCKER
Stranger: If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
Stranger: if they need to point that out
Stranger: then thats pretty sad
You: lol
You: that is funny
You: how do they know it's not legit?
You: I mean there could be some bored FBI guy in one of the chats
Stranger: whats he gonna arrest me for
Stranger: premature ejaculation
Stranger: FBI
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: lol, I just got that same message
You: I suppose they have better things to do
You: like raping penguins
Stranger: sounds like fun
Stranger: i should get in on the fbi thing
You: penguins are the best animals to rape
You: they just look at you all coy during it
You: then waddle off afterwards with a little piece of you inside them
Stranger: sounds a bit like you mother
Stranger: your
You: oh come now
You: wait, you probably already have
Stranger: 3 times
Stranger: my keyboard is getting sticky
You: wow
Stranger: dont worry theres still some left for u
Stranger: i have reserves
You: you must have the biggest testicle in the world
You: yes, testicle, you only have one
Stranger: is a watermelon
Stranger: its
You: can you get off on anything?
Stranger: sure try me
You: if I started copying and pasting the entire text of the Lord Of The Rings could you still get off?
Stranger: frodo is a sexy little mother fucker
You: Elijah Wood has twink appeal, yeah
You: I liked the shirtless scene in Return Of The King
Stranger: i liked all the orc scenes
Stranger: they turn me on
Stranger: especially that one with the super fucked face
You: Gorg?
Stranger: hes a fucking manbeast
You: or something that like that
You: no, Grond was the hammer...
You: you probably got off on the hammer too though
Stranger: naturlich
You: does it ever cause problems for you?
You: like if you're walking down the street and you just randomly cum all over someone
Stranger: i get arrested alot
Stranger: for just that
Stranger: im fine as long as im not wearring my kilt
Stranger: then it gets messy
Stranger: otherwise i just have a nice pool growing in my crotch
You: do all the lasses stop and say "hello, Donald where's your trousers?"
Stranger: gonna have to say no
You:
You: do you like Summer Glau?
Stranger: yes its my favorite
You: it?
Stranger: she*
You: by the way, that orc's name was Gothmog
Stranger: oh yes thats right
You: you're welcome
Stranger: wish i could get a room with him
You: are you bi?
Stranger: if u want me to be
You: well I have both male and female reproductive organs
You: so it would help
Stranger: well were perfect for eachother
Stranger: i have none
Stranger: im a sponge
Stranger: it evens out
You: what about your watermelon testicle?
You: you...you lied?
You: you lied to a random stranger in an internet chatroom?
Stranger: damn u caught me
You: I...I've never heard the like
Stranger: i feel so dirty
You: probably all the cum
Stranger: ITS EVERYWHERE
Stranger: reminds me of superbad
You: reminds me of www.trollkingdom.net
The automated FBI message is funny.
Dirk Funk
Evil Penguin
Here's my latest attempts. The first one ended too quick, so I tried it again with slightly more satisfying results.
First one:
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi !
You: Hi
You: I like ice cream. Do you like ice cream?
Stranger: where do you come from ?
You: I come from ice cream land
You: I like wasp flavored ice cream
Stranger: OOH .. You're a little mad .. No ?
You: No. I'm actually very happy
You: I just got some porpoise flavored ice cream
Stranger: okay .. Why are you so happy ? What happened ?
You: I just told you. I got some porpoise flavored ice cream
Stranger: O.K. .. you're crazy !
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Second attempt:
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: hi
You: I like ice cream. Do you like ice cream?
Stranger: asl
You: 32/m/ice cream land
Stranger: yes i like
You: I like wasp flavored ice cream
You: I take wasps and grind them up into my ice cream
You: Do you like hamster ice cream?
Stranger: uo i live in candy land
You: No, Ice cream land. We have all kinds of ice cream
You: ice cream trees, ice cream bushes and ice cream bunnies
Stranger: i like rat ice cream
You: I like rat ice cream too.
You: I made some porpoise ice cream yesterday
You: I had to catch the porpoise first
You: Then I ground him up
You: It's yummy
Stranger: i live in lollypop land here is lollipop trees
You: Do you make lollypops out of beagles?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
First one:
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi !
You: Hi
You: I like ice cream. Do you like ice cream?
Stranger: where do you come from ?
You: I come from ice cream land
You: I like wasp flavored ice cream
Stranger: OOH .. You're a little mad .. No ?
You: No. I'm actually very happy
You: I just got some porpoise flavored ice cream
Stranger: okay .. Why are you so happy ? What happened ?
You: I just told you. I got some porpoise flavored ice cream
Stranger: O.K. .. you're crazy !
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Second attempt:
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: hi
You: I like ice cream. Do you like ice cream?
Stranger: asl
You: 32/m/ice cream land
Stranger: yes i like
You: I like wasp flavored ice cream
You: I take wasps and grind them up into my ice cream
You: Do you like hamster ice cream?
Stranger: uo i live in candy land
You: No, Ice cream land. We have all kinds of ice cream
You: ice cream trees, ice cream bushes and ice cream bunnies
Stranger: i like rat ice cream
You: I like rat ice cream too.
You: I made some porpoise ice cream yesterday
You: I had to catch the porpoise first
You: Then I ground him up
You: It's yummy
Stranger: i live in lollypop land here is lollipop trees
You: Do you make lollypops out of beagles?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.