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Stranger: im horny
You: what did you thik of the new Red Dwarf?
You: DURP A DURP A FLURPITY FLURP FLURP
Stranger: it was beautiful, almost as beautiful as your eyes
You: do you care if I'm a man or a woman?
Stranger: u leagal?
You: or a sentient chimp?
Stranger: that makes u more attractive
You: hehe
You: I can wank you off with my tale
You: *tail
You: it's prehensile, baby
Stranger: hahah tempting
You: give me a banana and we'll talk
Stranger: im getting bored of using my tail
Stranger: my bananna is 13 inches
Stranger: with that satisfy your hunger
Stranger: will
You: I'll just peel back the skin...
You: OOK OOK
Stranger: god no pain
You: hold on, this is no banana
You: it's a REALLY SMALL PENIS
You: fuck!
Stranger: only the best for u babe
You: yeah
You: do you ever get anything satisfying out of these random chats?
You: sexually, I mean
Stranger: i usually cum before anything starts to happen
You: what a waste
You: by the way, I'm from the FBI
You: FREEZE, SUCKER
Stranger: If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
Stranger: if they need to point that out
Stranger: then thats pretty sad
You: lol
You: that is funny
You: how do they know it's not legit?
You: I mean there could be some bored FBI guy in one of the chats
Stranger: whats he gonna arrest me for
Stranger: premature ejaculation
Stranger: FBI
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: lol, I just got that same message
You: I suppose they have better things to do
You: like raping penguins
Stranger: sounds like fun
Stranger: i should get in on the fbi thing
You: penguins are the best animals to rape
You: they just look at you all coy during it
You: then waddle off afterwards with a little piece of you inside them
Stranger: sounds a bit like you mother
Stranger: your
You: oh come now
You: wait, you probably already have
Stranger: 3 times
Stranger: my keyboard is getting sticky
You: wow
Stranger: dont worry theres still some left for u
Stranger: i have reserves
You: you must have the biggest testicle in the world
You: yes, testicle, you only have one
Stranger: is a watermelon
Stranger: its
You: can you get off on anything?
Stranger: sure try me
You: if I started copying and pasting the entire text of the Lord Of The Rings could you still get off?
Stranger: frodo is a sexy little mother fucker
You: Elijah Wood has twink appeal, yeah
You: I liked the shirtless scene in Return Of The King
Stranger: i liked all the orc scenes
Stranger: they turn me on
Stranger: especially that one with the super fucked face
You: Gorg?
Stranger: hes a fucking manbeast
You: or something that like that
You: no, Grond was the hammer...
You: you probably got off on the hammer too though
Stranger: naturlich
You: does it ever cause problems for you?
You: like if you're walking down the street and you just randomly cum all over someone
Stranger: i get arrested alot
Stranger: for just that
Stranger: im fine as long as im not wearring my kilt
Stranger: then it gets messy
Stranger: otherwise i just have a nice pool growing in my crotch
You: do all the lasses stop and say "hello, Donald where's your trousers?"
Stranger: gonna have to say no
You:
You: do you like Summer Glau?
Stranger: yes its my favorite
You: it?
Stranger: she*
You: by the way, that orc's name was Gothmog
Stranger: oh yes thats right
You: you're welcome
Stranger: wish i could get a room with him
You: are you bi?
Stranger: if u want me to be
You: well I have both male and female reproductive organs
You: so it would help
Stranger: well were perfect for eachother
Stranger: i have none
Stranger: im a sponge
Stranger: it evens out
You: what about your watermelon testicle?
You: you...you lied?
You: you lied to a random stranger in an internet chatroom?
Stranger: damn u caught me
You: I...I've never heard the like
Stranger: i feel so dirty
You: probably all the cum
Stranger: ITS EVERYWHERE
Stranger: reminds me of superbad
You: reminds me of
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