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DREAM THREAD Part Pi.Pi!

Had a dream where a fat guy was trying to steal my copy of Cloud Atlas (the book.) He was throwing all my books around in my bedroom trying to find it, but I was standing outside holding it so he couldn't get it. Even though I was outside I could still see him in my room because of dream logic. True story.
 
Had a dream where a fat guy was trying to steal my copy of Cloud Atlas (the book.) He was throwing all my books around in my bedroom trying to find it, but I was standing outside holding it so he couldn't get it. Even though I was outside I could still see him in my room because of dream logic. True story.

I wasn't trying to steal your book. I smelled pie and thought Cloud Atlas was a fancy dessert.
 
Recent crappy morning dream: Got hired by a company. Started working on the project they hired me to do and within a couple hours, had to stop because I didn't have all the information/equipment I needed to do it. No one ever got back to me on it so I wound up spending my days just trying to amuse myself and fill 8 hours. Days dragged into weeks as I found out how dysfunctional the company was and it was actually better to just screw around, do nothing, and go to company birthday parties than to try to find something productive to do. Towards the end of the dream an office manager was busy trying to put together some kind of lunch out of company funds and the National CEO was there and he was pissed because our office was constantly spending more money than it made.
 
Two days ago I had one where no one would hire me because I had cancer. But it was also the zombie apocalypse, so I was more worried about that. And some bikers that were visiting me in the hospital were going to sneak out past the zombies by dressing like them, but were foiled because for some reason they were a new kind of zombie that wore 60's technicolor clothes and had weird super powers for killing people.
 
Dreamed I went bald the other night, last night dreamed a large dog was licking my face and not letting me go anywhere, then it tried to smother me.
 
This morning was for whacky koo-koo dreams. First I dreamed I was watching a documentary about George Peppard. He was talking about working on a cop show with Cheech Marin and the practical jokes he played on him on that show to get back for the time they were on "Beretta" together. Then I had a dream about Taylor Swift posting topless pics from her treehouse, so I peeked in to see if she was topless again and she was writhing around on the floor nekkid with all the lights on (yes, the treehouse had electricity--this is Taylor Swift we're talking about here). There was another dream that I think was even weirder, but I don't remember that one any more.
 
Dreamed I went bald the other night, last night dreamed a large dog was licking my face and not letting me go anywhere, then it tried to smother me.
Years ago, when I first got The Cat, I had a dream that I was traveling with this "Slapshot" style farm team pro hockey team. I was like a manager or a reporter or something. There was lots of pranks and partying and bar hopping and it was time to get on to the next bar but one of the guys had snuck up behind my chair and was pushing down on my shoulders such that I couldn't get out of the chair. The more I tried, the harder he pushed and it was getting uncomfortable and not funny any more.

I woke up to find The Cat was sitting on my chest.
 
Last night I dreamed I was doing nighttime supermarket reset work, only this time with the guy who "managed" the planogram department in the job I got promoted to. (I say "managed" because he mostly spent his time doing planograms himself and neglected managing to the point where I got frustrated and quit.) As usual, the planograms we were working from were screwed up in one way or another and this guy was bitching about it. We were putting some kind of weird rotted out pumpkins into the display (which may have been toothpaste for all I know) because Halloween was coming.

I really had to poop, so as soon as they called break I ran off to find the restroom, narrowly beating my brother there (who has never done supermarket resets, so who knows why he was in this dream). That restroom was closed or out of order so I looked for another one. All the restrooms were either occupied or had been converted to storerooms or, like, there weren't any walls around the toilet.

About this time, I kind of woke up. Given the subject of my dream, I decided I'd better get up and go to the bathroom. Turned out I didn't have to poop, so I went back to sleep.
 
Not a spectacularly unique or confusing one this morning, but detailed enough to be noteworthy:

I have to speak at a conference. It's about the restaurant industry or some similar thing. I'm making notes for the speech on the schoolbus and one of my classmates from high school (although also grown up) is going to do a sidebar speech-within-a-speech where she interviews important restaurateurs about subjects introduced during the speech. Then I'll wrap up. But we haven't worked out that part either, we haven't rehearsed it, and we don't have anyone to interview yet. On top of that, I'm , like, the first speaker after lunch break. And the conference MC isn't going to be introducing me, someone else is supposed to introduce me and they're nowhere to be found. After a few fits and starts and attempts to make the speech I woke up and it was time to start the day.
 
Last night was fairly wretched--as far as getting rest. The Dog was up and restless at 1:25. I told her she couldn't go out but I couldn't get back to sleep. At some point I must have got back to sleep, but was dreaming about not being able to get back to sleep. Then I transitioned into an extended series of live shooter dreams.

I was in a bar or auditorium or convention or something. Suddenly Season 1 Commander Riker is shooting at something out of sight with an old 1930s style .38 police service revolver--or is it just a cap gun? He says there's a crazy terrorist/mass shooter (I don't know, I never see the shooter and it's dream logic). Somehow I get out a window or something and find this scenic lookout/monument tower type structure--heavy stone walls, tall and narrow with small windows and a stone floor and stairs leading up. There's a couple other people there and they wisely(?) make their way up to higher floors while I've opted to just duck around the corner to try to overpower the gunman. I was hoping for a fire extinguisher because they're a decent bludgeoning weapon and also emit a blinding gas that suffocates, but no luck so I grab a chair or something and wait. Meanwhile, I'm having second thoughts but I know it's too late to move without being caught in the open between the door and the stairs and the other two guys are babbling their heads off. (Were they trying to distract and lure the shooter? I don't know.)

Eventually I decided we were safe so I cautiously ventured back to the building where it all started. I could hear lots of screaming and shooting inside so next I got to some kind of shelter/command post and we were trying to figure out what to do. The place must have been a security office, not a police station, as they had no guns. I asked about fire extinguishers and they said there was too much open space to get close enough to use one as a weapon against the gunman so we're going over other possibilities. This dream sequence wrapped up around the time I was trying to figure out if we had anything that could be converted to spears. (Like a spear will have any more range or effectiveness against a gun than a fire extinguisher.) Oh, I think at some point someone offered me a longbow, but I said it was too unwieldy to be useful.

Next thing I know, I'm in a ski chalet type locale, being stalked by an Arnold-style Terminator. I've managed to find a somewhat covered and concealed position and am waiting for my opportunity. I've got something that sprays...brake fluid? Because apparently that won't kill a Terminator, but it will permanently blind them. I manage to give him a thorough soaking with it and succeed in blinding him, but apparently he's got video of the surroundings and is using his hearing to try to shoot at me--and is getting too close for comfort--like, hitting my heavy leather jacket close. If I can get over the summit, he can't get line of sight on me so I'll be safe, but I'll also have no cover going over the top so I decide to evade down the mountain instead. At this point I may have been a Terminator too. At any rate, I'm joined by a crazy guy who decides to "help" me by throwing hand grenades in front of me, right where I want to walk. Obviously this is slowing me down and I'm worried the Terminator will start shooting again but apparently he didn't see the inside of the chalet before he was blinded and is lost inside it (he also can't use his hearing to figure out where he is). Luckily the guy that is with me manages to walk right into one of his own hand grenades, sheltering me from the blast, and I'm finally able to get away.

And that's about when I woke up. I had 1 or 2 little wrap-up dreams before getting up but I don't remember them.
 
Some kind of weird variation of "the floor is lava" this morning. I forget how the dream started, but by the end it had transitioned so we were in this kind of '90s office combined with library stacks--there were cubicles and computers and such, but the dividers went up, like 20 feet. Me and another person were away from the main group and something was happening so we needed to get over there. I knocked over one of the dividers, trying to jump across a gap and wound up down on the floor. One of the...activists? I dunno, the people we were avoiding for whatever reason, ran over, hugged me, and begged us to come down. You see their T-shirts were color coded to what shift they worked and no one could leave until we came down and the people in the tan shirts had been there forever. Typing that, it sounds like maybe WE were the activists. Oh, and Jamie Hynamen from "Mythbusters" may or may not have been in it.
 
Dreamed I was back in college. Orientation day, freshman year. I was bored by some lecture, so decided to float around about six feet off the floor making people nervous. Loads of fun.
 
Last night's dream involved some kind of dirty greasy white trash vampires. And either me and some other people were stuck in their house or they'd taken over our house. We couldn't even get away during the day because they had some ginger vampire that could be outside during the day (dream logic. He *was* horribly burned all the time).

Finally we had an chance to just sneak out the door and were able to get away. We did have to leave at least one person behind--and I think it was a kid and the mother, who was with us, went back. Finally we got away to this other shitty abandoned house but just as we were getting settled in the vampires had tracked us down. I tried shooting one because what have you got to lose? But it didn't work. I can never get guns to work in dreams--fumbling with the safety, jams, bad ammunition/no ammunition, etc. I did get off maybe 2 shots before I realized I'd forgot to reload the gun. Anyway it was a stupid Ruger 10-22 or something and I either missed or it had no effect. Then I put out my hand to try to stop him and he bit my hand.
 
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