Colonel Kira's Left Tit
Bearded Belly of Bajor
Were bionic noises involved?
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
Had a dream 2 nights ago that I forgot to write down. Remembered it still this morning, but had to go to new hire training and now I don't remember it. First part was super-mundane, reading a brochure or something. Second part was the bunch of people living in a big old kind of dilapidated house dream. OK. Now I remember a part of that. The steps to the basement were in the kitchen and there was like, a little makeshift bedroom on the landing. Then the "basement" was more like under a big concrete bridge or something and there was some kind of steampunk tram that ran along the ceiling. We had one creepy broke person so I think I suggested he could live down in the basement and have access to the kitchen.
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
Really wiped out last night. I'd have probably dozed for 9 hours if The Dog hadn't been acting needy this morning. Had a dream that flowed and had a narrative, although awake now, it was goofy and made no sense:
I'm possibly living/staying with my parents on the farm we moved to when I was 10. Only instead of fields around the buildings theres...trees? I'm supposed to mow the trees (yes, a push lawnmower is able to handle trees just like grass in my dreams apparently) and I decide it will be funny if I start from the back and work my way in. Because that way if Mom & Dad get home before I'm done they'll think I'm slacking off and not doing anything.
But then there's all kinds of animals--deer, foxes, stray dogs, etc. We (because now there's a bunch of people out in the woods/field) all have these little asthma inhaler/sci-fi tranquilizer aerosol things in case there's a dangerous animal but the preferred method is to just hunker down and wait for them to pass. We have some success with this method until a big cougar comes right up to me. So I'm just emptying my little tranquilizer mist right into his mouth but he's not going to sleep. After 5-10 seconds, I'm out of spray and he still hasn't gone down, but he's wobbling around disoriented, so someone next to me runs up and gives him another spray and he goes to sleep.
Ironically, that's when I woke up.
I'm possibly living/staying with my parents on the farm we moved to when I was 10. Only instead of fields around the buildings theres...trees? I'm supposed to mow the trees (yes, a push lawnmower is able to handle trees just like grass in my dreams apparently) and I decide it will be funny if I start from the back and work my way in. Because that way if Mom & Dad get home before I'm done they'll think I'm slacking off and not doing anything.
But then there's all kinds of animals--deer, foxes, stray dogs, etc. We (because now there's a bunch of people out in the woods/field) all have these little asthma inhaler/sci-fi tranquilizer aerosol things in case there's a dangerous animal but the preferred method is to just hunker down and wait for them to pass. We have some success with this method until a big cougar comes right up to me. So I'm just emptying my little tranquilizer mist right into his mouth but he's not going to sleep. After 5-10 seconds, I'm out of spray and he still hasn't gone down, but he's wobbling around disoriented, so someone next to me runs up and gives him another spray and he goes to sleep.
Ironically, that's when I woke up.
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
I've been having lots of cool dreams lately, just not remembering them. I did have one really simple probably pointless recurring dream last night that I remembered:
My phone keeps changing.
I'm on a bus or something--someplace where people are stuck sitting and waiting for something in a group--and I'm checking my phone. But I realize it is subtly different. Instead of being the standard modern smart phone shape, it is shaped a little more like, say, a classic video arcade console. It has angles. Or maybe the "greenhouse" of a WWII fighter plane, because the main screen is angled up, but then it has, like, side screens to create the angle. And the display has a greenish cast.
And as I'm trying to figure this out it just keeps getting weirder and weirder every time I look at the phone. At one point it was like some kind of "Hello Kitty" planner monstrosity with a case around it that had pockets and fold out booklets and secondary displays--and by this point it wasn't even a smart phone.
My phone keeps changing.
I'm on a bus or something--someplace where people are stuck sitting and waiting for something in a group--and I'm checking my phone. But I realize it is subtly different. Instead of being the standard modern smart phone shape, it is shaped a little more like, say, a classic video arcade console. It has angles. Or maybe the "greenhouse" of a WWII fighter plane, because the main screen is angled up, but then it has, like, side screens to create the angle. And the display has a greenish cast.
And as I'm trying to figure this out it just keeps getting weirder and weirder every time I look at the phone. At one point it was like some kind of "Hello Kitty" planner monstrosity with a case around it that had pockets and fold out booklets and secondary displays--and by this point it wasn't even a smart phone.
whisky
Boobie inspector
I was at a petrol station dressed as Sherlock Holmes, someone shouted alright Sherlock, and I wanted to say something witty, but I could literally not think of anything to say, to the point where the dream became so awkward I imagined my son calling to me from the other room which woke me up.
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
Oh, just a (very disturbing) fragment from last night: I was on some kind of team/class/job where there was an authoritarian figure who required us to memorize rules and there were consequences if you didn't know them. She was giving someone a hard time and I thought I had a pretty good handle on the rules and she was like "what does it say on page 15?" I realized I had no idea so I had no other option. As she turned her back on me, I picked up something large and heavy and smashed it over the back of her head. She dropped like a sack of potatoes and the back of her head immediately swelled up and I was like, "well, fuck it. I've killed her. There will definitely be consequences for this."
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
Had a whole bunch of dreams last night. One, I was in bed with a dream friend's dream wife and for some reason she decided to give me a blowjob (we weren't in bed for sex, it was just some kind of crowded sleeping arrangement). A bunch of people noticed it (it was, like on a train or in a big common room or something) and I was annoyed with one of our mutual dream friends for telling the dream husband (all these people were imaginary and not even based on anyone I know). I'm leaving out a lot of the details here, mostly because it was a fairly early dream and I forget how it all fitted together.
Then there was a later dream in the vein of me being a temp for some crappy company that pays well and keeps me around--even though they don't have any actual work for me. I had to be at the bank and there was some kind of misunderstanding where the bank wouldn't actually be that happy to see me again soon. But the next day I was supposed to be a plainclothes security person and do some kind of security sweep or drill at the bank. (Oh, yeah, I apparently had an office at the bank too or something.) So I'm wearing a suit and a raincoat and I've got a riot shotgun on a sling (I recently watched the train scene from "The Untouchables" and that may have colored this dream) and I'm in the lobby, realizing that I don't have any kind of identification or, like, an FBI windbreaker so this is a really terrible idea and I'm not going to do it. Then I realize I'm not wearing a belt with my suit--and that I forgot the belt in my office at the bank. I need a belt but I can't go in the bank with a shotgun, so I'm going to have to go home and get rid of the shotgun and then come back to the bank before going back to the other office.
Then I'm talking to a lady with her kid and the kid points out I've got crap all over my pants. I look down and there is indeed, a thick coating of dog hair that comes off in clumps and clumps.
Pretty straightforward on the second dream, I think--themes of being an imposter, failing at things, and disappointing results of efforts.
Then there was a later dream in the vein of me being a temp for some crappy company that pays well and keeps me around--even though they don't have any actual work for me. I had to be at the bank and there was some kind of misunderstanding where the bank wouldn't actually be that happy to see me again soon. But the next day I was supposed to be a plainclothes security person and do some kind of security sweep or drill at the bank. (Oh, yeah, I apparently had an office at the bank too or something.) So I'm wearing a suit and a raincoat and I've got a riot shotgun on a sling (I recently watched the train scene from "The Untouchables" and that may have colored this dream) and I'm in the lobby, realizing that I don't have any kind of identification or, like, an FBI windbreaker so this is a really terrible idea and I'm not going to do it. Then I realize I'm not wearing a belt with my suit--and that I forgot the belt in my office at the bank. I need a belt but I can't go in the bank with a shotgun, so I'm going to have to go home and get rid of the shotgun and then come back to the bank before going back to the other office.
Then I'm talking to a lady with her kid and the kid points out I've got crap all over my pants. I look down and there is indeed, a thick coating of dog hair that comes off in clumps and clumps.
Pretty straightforward on the second dream, I think--themes of being an imposter, failing at things, and disappointing results of efforts.
whisky
Boobie inspector
This dream started in my old flat as most do, some bad guy was crashing a star destroyer through the atmosphere aimed directly at me, I ran down 11 flights of stairs then through the streets trying to get enough houses between me and the blast area that I might be protected from the explosion, but every time the star destroyer had a direct line of sight to me it changed direction to aim at me again.
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
A couple short, mundane (even annoying) ones from this morning, as I was waking up:
I dreamed I'd been drinking the night before and woke up in the middle of the night (both things that actually were true) and realized I'd left bottles and glasses staged all over the place for more drinks I'd planned to make. Since I was up I should put them all away so I wouldn't have to deal with them in the morning and the cat and dog wouldn't get into them (I don't remember if they were explicitly in the dream or not--the location was really more like an apartment I had with a roommate in my late 20s--but there was..maybe so I wouldn't trip over them in the night, but as I was working on this, I peeked out a curtain and realized it was already morning and I was pissed because I was tired and wanted to get at least 2 more hours of sleep but I should probably get up because I had stuff to do.
Next dream, I had a couple guests over and got the munchies so me and my friend that calls me all the time and hires me to do accounting consulting went into the kitchen to make a kind of charcuterie plate with like, button-sized bacon cheeseburgers (without buns) and Swiss and Cheddar cheese slices. I was making slices but the block was kind of funky and the knife was dull or something. And there really wasn't that much cheese to work with. Meanwhile, my friend was crumbling up little chunks of cheese, telling me this was all the rage now and I was being annoyed with him about it. I also whipped up a couple small cheeseburger patties, one with Swiss and one with Cheddar--still no buns--and had the Cheddar one myself. I felt a little guilty, since I had guests but I somehow rationalized it. Then I was going to stop to put ketchup on it but I remembered I'd put the ketchup on under the cheese(?!)
I dreamed I'd been drinking the night before and woke up in the middle of the night (both things that actually were true) and realized I'd left bottles and glasses staged all over the place for more drinks I'd planned to make. Since I was up I should put them all away so I wouldn't have to deal with them in the morning and the cat and dog wouldn't get into them (I don't remember if they were explicitly in the dream or not--the location was really more like an apartment I had with a roommate in my late 20s--but there was..maybe so I wouldn't trip over them in the night, but as I was working on this, I peeked out a curtain and realized it was already morning and I was pissed because I was tired and wanted to get at least 2 more hours of sleep but I should probably get up because I had stuff to do.
Next dream, I had a couple guests over and got the munchies so me and my friend that calls me all the time and hires me to do accounting consulting went into the kitchen to make a kind of charcuterie plate with like, button-sized bacon cheeseburgers (without buns) and Swiss and Cheddar cheese slices. I was making slices but the block was kind of funky and the knife was dull or something. And there really wasn't that much cheese to work with. Meanwhile, my friend was crumbling up little chunks of cheese, telling me this was all the rage now and I was being annoyed with him about it. I also whipped up a couple small cheeseburger patties, one with Swiss and one with Cheddar--still no buns--and had the Cheddar one myself. I felt a little guilty, since I had guests but I somehow rationalized it. Then I was going to stop to put ketchup on it but I remembered I'd put the ketchup on under the cheese(?!)
The Question
Eternal
Two noteworthy (if very brief) episodes from last night:
First, dreamed I had to take a massive shit and so went into a public men's. Except the facilities were abnormal, to say the least. The room was substantially larger than usual and full of green toilets spaced at random throughout the room. As I go to take a seat on one, Super Mario pops up out of it, complete with the 'WIDJA-WIDJA-WIDJA' sound effect. Choose another one, and 'WIDJA-WIDJA-WIDJA' here comes Luigi. On the third one -- 'WIDJA-WIDJA-WIDJA' -- I decided to find another shitter.
Second, later: I was in a heavily over-landscaped parking lot, as in there were thick growths of hedges and trees in the medians between sections, with a bunch of other people, and we were all playing some kind of game. It wasn't exactly life and death pitched combat, but... it wasn't exactly not that, either. At one point, I find this thing on the ground that looks like a TV remote, but it's only got one button. Not knowing what it does, I point it at a car and push the button, only to discover that I'm now able to lift the car and wave it around as if it's weightless. Intuiting what this means, I move the car and push the button again, thereby throwing the car. Okay, so it's a TV-remote sized gravity gun. Cool.
After this, I proceed to throw cars at people, as well as use the gravity gun to propel myself up into the air, then "swing" from things like Spider-Man. Meanwhile, all the other competitors in this "game" have taken notice and have all focused their attention on me because they want the gravity gun for themselves.
First, dreamed I had to take a massive shit and so went into a public men's. Except the facilities were abnormal, to say the least. The room was substantially larger than usual and full of green toilets spaced at random throughout the room. As I go to take a seat on one, Super Mario pops up out of it, complete with the 'WIDJA-WIDJA-WIDJA' sound effect. Choose another one, and 'WIDJA-WIDJA-WIDJA' here comes Luigi. On the third one -- 'WIDJA-WIDJA-WIDJA' -- I decided to find another shitter.
Second, later: I was in a heavily over-landscaped parking lot, as in there were thick growths of hedges and trees in the medians between sections, with a bunch of other people, and we were all playing some kind of game. It wasn't exactly life and death pitched combat, but... it wasn't exactly not that, either. At one point, I find this thing on the ground that looks like a TV remote, but it's only got one button. Not knowing what it does, I point it at a car and push the button, only to discover that I'm now able to lift the car and wave it around as if it's weightless. Intuiting what this means, I move the car and push the button again, thereby throwing the car. Okay, so it's a TV-remote sized gravity gun. Cool.
After this, I proceed to throw cars at people, as well as use the gravity gun to propel myself up into the air, then "swing" from things like Spider-Man. Meanwhile, all the other competitors in this "game" have taken notice and have all focused their attention on me because they want the gravity gun for themselves.
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
Been having lots of dreams lately, just not remembering them long enough to write them down. Last night I had a short dream where I was driving on an arid road--Arizona, Southern California--and kept having to get past cars that were missing a wheel. One was counterbalanced such that that corner of the car stayed off the ground. One had, like, a giant sawmill blade instead of a wheel (that one had to drive really slowly), there was at least one other improvised replacement wheel.
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
Holy smokes. No sooner said... Long, surreal, involved dream.
I'm in some kind of big apartment/dormitory with 2-3 other people. At least 1 or 2 are academics--doctor, professor, etc. Am I? The Mob or someone wants to kill us...in a case of mistaken identity? At any rate, we've got to get out of town ASAP. So we run down to the street to look for a car with the keys in it. Then, for some reason, I sneak back into the building to watch cartoons in someone's room. It turns out to be two Asian girls, who are understandably shocked that a strange man has broken into their home. Meanwhile, one of the guys comes in to get me because they think they've found a car.
They've got some car that I guess has a manual transmission so they're going to try to push start it (that won't unlock the steering wheel, but that's something for the real world). Meanwhile, there's like, a big 1920s convertible behind the car they're monkeying with and I notice a spark or two on the engine compartment wiring (can I see through the hood/cowling? I dunno. Maybe the spark was on the dashboard. So I get in. This car has no key and no steering interlock so I push what I assume is the starter button a few times and get it going. Meanwhile, my friends are off in the other car.
We stop off for a bit at a house owned by a nice old lady. There are identical twin girls there that have a kind of goth retro vibe--long black hair with bangs, white skin, red lipstick. They're ballerinas, so they dance for a little--but they don't dance together, that's not their thing. Then they...lay down under the Christmas tree? Maybe by the fireplace--to take a nap. I've been playing some kind of remote turn-based strategy game with the doctor and he's losing terribly. It turns out this is because he has died. At this point me and the surviving member(s) have to go so we thank the nice lady and go out to my car--which has turned into a cabinet laying on its side. Only in the dream it's always been this and it was never a car. I mean, it has wheels and an engine, but it looks like a cabinet. So we climb into the cabinet, start the engine and I wake up.
I'm in some kind of big apartment/dormitory with 2-3 other people. At least 1 or 2 are academics--doctor, professor, etc. Am I? The Mob or someone wants to kill us...in a case of mistaken identity? At any rate, we've got to get out of town ASAP. So we run down to the street to look for a car with the keys in it. Then, for some reason, I sneak back into the building to watch cartoons in someone's room. It turns out to be two Asian girls, who are understandably shocked that a strange man has broken into their home. Meanwhile, one of the guys comes in to get me because they think they've found a car.
They've got some car that I guess has a manual transmission so they're going to try to push start it (that won't unlock the steering wheel, but that's something for the real world). Meanwhile, there's like, a big 1920s convertible behind the car they're monkeying with and I notice a spark or two on the engine compartment wiring (can I see through the hood/cowling? I dunno. Maybe the spark was on the dashboard. So I get in. This car has no key and no steering interlock so I push what I assume is the starter button a few times and get it going. Meanwhile, my friends are off in the other car.
We stop off for a bit at a house owned by a nice old lady. There are identical twin girls there that have a kind of goth retro vibe--long black hair with bangs, white skin, red lipstick. They're ballerinas, so they dance for a little--but they don't dance together, that's not their thing. Then they...lay down under the Christmas tree? Maybe by the fireplace--to take a nap. I've been playing some kind of remote turn-based strategy game with the doctor and he's losing terribly. It turns out this is because he has died. At this point me and the surviving member(s) have to go so we thank the nice lady and go out to my car--which has turned into a cabinet laying on its side. Only in the dream it's always been this and it was never a car. I mean, it has wheels and an engine, but it looks like a cabinet. So we climb into the cabinet, start the engine and I wake up.
The Question
Eternal
^^Entertainingly surreal.
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
Much more normal dream tonight. I can't quite remember the flow of it. I was at a house. There may have been some flooding in the streets due to rain. A little Yorkie dog showed up--just at the time the Dream Neighbors were out, calling the name of their little Yorkie, so I said "don't worry, I got this," to some visitors who'd first seen the dog, picked him up and took him over to the house--where their Yorkie already was. But the lady said she'd hold onto it until the owner turned up.
Then I'd bought a house to rent out and was there to fix it up. It was on or near the water and as the dream progressed it may have become a condo or something. The driveway was tricky because it was, like, a bridge over a concrete ditch and I bumped my car while trying to back the van in. Luckily there was no damage. But then I realized it was only a 1 car garage. And it was full of crap. I opened the garage but the spring was wound too tight or something and it pulled the door way up past where it should've went. Then when I was ready to try pulling it down, it kind of fell apart--the different slats were held together with almost like fishing line--kind of the way blinds are made. So I'm trying to pull everything together as a group walks past. Is it a Realtor, showing properties? Something else? I don't know. One of the people tells me I need to wear a tie at all times before her friend shushes her that I don't need to wear a tie when I'm moving in. At this point my Aunt (who's dead when I'm awake) is there, commenting on some of the left-behind furniture being nice and I'm starting to wonder if I somehow accidentally purchased a place that is in an HOA and I won't be able to rent it out.
Then I'd bought a house to rent out and was there to fix it up. It was on or near the water and as the dream progressed it may have become a condo or something. The driveway was tricky because it was, like, a bridge over a concrete ditch and I bumped my car while trying to back the van in. Luckily there was no damage. But then I realized it was only a 1 car garage. And it was full of crap. I opened the garage but the spring was wound too tight or something and it pulled the door way up past where it should've went. Then when I was ready to try pulling it down, it kind of fell apart--the different slats were held together with almost like fishing line--kind of the way blinds are made. So I'm trying to pull everything together as a group walks past. Is it a Realtor, showing properties? Something else? I don't know. One of the people tells me I need to wear a tie at all times before her friend shushes her that I don't need to wear a tie when I'm moving in. At this point my Aunt (who's dead when I'm awake) is there, commenting on some of the left-behind furniture being nice and I'm starting to wonder if I somehow accidentally purchased a place that is in an HOA and I won't be able to rent it out.
The Question
Eternal
I may end up filling in some blanks with this one; it was a little chaotic in places. Had another flying dream last night, except -- as sometimes happens in them -- it's physically taxing to do it. Except in this one, I'm working at some "big box" retailer, like a CostCo or a Sam's Club or something, and I'm the guy they call when a customer wants something off a high shelf, because I can just float on up there, grab it, and bring it down to the customer.
Except I get this woman in her early 20s wearing a really low-cut top, so it's a hell of a temptation to look down her top while I'm way up at the top shelf grabbing whatever it is she asked for. And she's doing this thing where she'll ask me for something on a shelf about 12 feet up, I float up there, grab it, bring it down to her... and she just looks at each item for a second, then goes, "Nnnnno... this isn't it..."
So I have to float on up, put that thing back, and grab the next thing she wants to look at, take it back down to her... and she keeps doing this. Over and over. I'm getting increasingly frustrated -- and increasingly physically worn out from all the flying -- and eventually she catches me staring at her tits, and makes a HUGE scene about it.
At some point I'm just laying on my back on the floor, totally exhausted, while this woman is just SCREAMING at somebody who I assume is my supervisor, or maybe it's a cop, or something. It's about there that I woke up on account of having to take a piss.
Except I get this woman in her early 20s wearing a really low-cut top, so it's a hell of a temptation to look down her top while I'm way up at the top shelf grabbing whatever it is she asked for. And she's doing this thing where she'll ask me for something on a shelf about 12 feet up, I float up there, grab it, bring it down to her... and she just looks at each item for a second, then goes, "Nnnnno... this isn't it..."
So I have to float on up, put that thing back, and grab the next thing she wants to look at, take it back down to her... and she keeps doing this. Over and over. I'm getting increasingly frustrated -- and increasingly physically worn out from all the flying -- and eventually she catches me staring at her tits, and makes a HUGE scene about it.
At some point I'm just laying on my back on the floor, totally exhausted, while this woman is just SCREAMING at somebody who I assume is my supervisor, or maybe it's a cop, or something. It's about there that I woke up on account of having to take a piss.
The Question
Eternal
Interesting one last night. It was kind of based on the movie Alien, except they had a piece of seriously advanced technology that was... not exactly a force field? It was a field that if something passed through it, the air around whatever passed through the field would be rearranged at the atomic level into this unbreakable epoxy-like substance, which would trap, immobilize, and suffocate whatever the subject was. So the crew of the Nostromo all went into a "safe room" in the middle of the ship and activated this field around the room. All the aliens died by trying to get into the room and thereby "plastic-izing" themselves.
So then we get back to Earth and there are all these assholes protesting for the poor dead xenomorphs.
So then we get back to Earth and there are all these assholes protesting for the poor dead xenomorphs.