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DREAM THREAD Part Pi.Pi!

Having a fairly active dream cycle right now. Lots last night, but the only one I remember, I was part of some military unit or base or something and there was a big promotion, change of command or whatever gala. At one point we were all at the beach and then at the designated time we were going to go to the beach for some exclusive resort. There was even a big ribbon cutting (for some reason) and then they let us all in. But we only had like, 5-10 minutes before the next big gala event. Then we all had to drive (hike) to...a football game? And on the way there, my Mom tells me the General says everyone needs to be cleanshaven and it is her responsibility to shave us. At this point I've had enough. I tell her I've shaved my whole life and she's never EVER shaved me, I'll shave my own damn self. At this point she's like "oh, you can't say *no* to the *General*." And I say "Yes I can. No. I'm not doing it." At this point we're going down some kind of switchback road along a cliff and everyone stops. Turns out The General is just a bit ahead of us and heard us, so he's stopped so I can tell him myself. I realize I've got a goatee right now, which I'm not happy about, but there's nothing to be done about it, I stomp down to where he is. To my relief, he's rocking a full bushy beard and seems in a good mood. I explain to him that I respect him and will be cleanshaven, but I'm not having my Mommy do it, I'll do it myself so it's done right. There's a brief cameo from some foreign liaison officer in odd cammies and then the dream ends.
 
Odd one last night. My brother was looking to move from the town he's lived in basically his whole life and they'd found this town 30-50 miles away so I was in town and the whole family was driving over to check it out. (It's impossible to say what time frame this dream was supposed to be taking place in, Mom & Dad are both alive but I'm not living within easy driving distance in it.) It's one of these little 10-20,000 population towns from the end of the 19th century that used to be sprinkled across the countryside, only it is idealized and cool and touristy and I'm starting to get a little jealous that I hadn't every heard about this town. Nice 2-3 story red brick shops and smaller apartment buildings, some newer banks and government buildings, but still in a fairly traditional style. Then there's a flyer on a bulletin board at the bank or wherever for some dominatrix event. Only glimpsed it at an almost subliminal level and the fam' didn't pick up on it at all. Later we're driving past the city park and a couple goth girls with a kind of "Nightmare Before Christmas" vibe are handing out lollipops or balloons or something to kids.
 
OK. I think I've had a variation on this one before: Living in rooms with a roommate. It's pretty nice, but I come home one day and there's a bunch more people there. I ask my roommate WTF and he says we got orders to put them up there (the roommate in the dream was my roommate in the Marines). I'm like..."Oh. Fuck. Well OK then." But there's mattresses everywhere and they're in the bathroom, bitching about my toiletries and eventually I'm like "I don't care what orders there are, GTFO." So my roommate says "why don't YOU GTFO?" And I'm like "Fine I will--you know what? No. Fuck you. I got us this place. I was here first. These guys are gone and if you don't like it, you can go too."
 
Somehow I forgot to set the snooze alarm and overslept by almost an hour. :( Won't go into all the weird little details of the dream but again, it was a recurring theme. I'm at a hotel with a group (OK, maybe I will try to go into the weird details) and it's time to leave and I've still got to pack my room and check out. The line at the main elevator bank is crazy so I head off to find a different elevator. Meanwhile, some old handicapped dude who is riding something that looks a bit like a powered offroad...that thing mechanics lay on to slide under cars...is following me around like a cat, getting underfoot. I accost him on it but we get to talking. His "wheelchair" is actually pretty handy and can even go down short shallow stairs (like in a mall corridor). Then I have some time to kill(?) so I lay down to watch some cartoon on a TV shaped like a little plastic house that is clearly to keep bored children occupied. But I remember I need to check out so I get moving again. At this point I realize this guy who looks like Richard Belzer is a serial killer/cannibal who is about to murder a bunch of young college boys. I notice some cop cars in the parking lot and nonchalantly go to warn them (because I don't want to draw Cannibal Richard Belzer's attention), but then I realize I don't know his name. Or the names of his targets. Or what kind of car he's driving, let alone the license plate so I wonder if the cops will even belive me--or do anything.)
 
Last night sucked. Didn't get to bed until after 5. Woke up at 10 and couldn't get back to sleep. When I finally did, I dreamed I was not only awake but working. I was in some vaguely defined warehouse/industrial space and for some reason I was installing laminate flooring over the concrete. But I kept misplacing the materials I needed in the huge place. Then some office suit types came through and commented on the rubber shoes I was wearing and I explained that I often walk my dog and it's just simpler to wear rubber shoes for rain/dew. But then, for some reason, I took off my clothes at some point and realized I should put them back on but couldn't find them. And there was some big Thing, everyone was coming down for and pretty soon a lot of places I thought I might have left my clothes were too busy for me to discretely come look for them. Periodically I'd bump into someone and have an awkward "not wearing any clothes again, I see" "yeah, I set them down somewhere and now I can't find them" conversation.
 
Had some real, actual dreams last night. One was just a snippet. I needed a suit for something but all the jackets were tailored really funny. Like, the armpit of the sleeve was just about down to the bottom of the ribcage and the end of the sleeve was only 5-6" past that. Almost more of a poncho than a suit. But by dream logic I'm just going "Huh, I guess that's the way suits are tailored."

Then I was in some kind of bar that served Mexican food. Some of the people from my grad school class were there as well as my best friend since 5th grade and his wife (who, oddly for dreams, were pretty close to their current age). Just about the time they got my order in, a college group showed up--marching band or football team or whatever--and ordered. My food didn't come and didn't come. Eventually I was going to go to the bathroom when they brought the check for the college group and someone said they thought it had been charged to the wrong card so I quickly had a look at it to make sure it wasn't me and headed off to the bathroom. When I got back out pretty much everyone was going and my friend (who for some reason was wearing like, a fast food manager short sleeved dress shirt and striped tie) was getting in the waitresses butt about where my food was. But it was a different waitress. Then the girl who took my order came back with the point of sale computer--only it was like, some mechanical steampunk thing that made no sense to anyone but her.
 
In my dream I am house sitting and babysitting. The first part of the dream goes fine. Everything is great.
And then the 2nd part of the dream, I have left the baby alone, near stairs and when I go to find the baby it has got itself stuck inside a zippered onesie.
As soon as I unzip it and can't find the babies face... which was clear earlier...I wake up.
Thank God
But then in real life a skunk is in my backyard and my window is open just enough....I can smell it
Damnit!
Fucking skunk. That thing reeks!

It's so bad I am almost convinced it is in my house.
 
Also why is Volpone's dream stuff I either thought about on Friday or watched a video of?
Marching band
Steampunk
Okay that is only 2 things, I'm always thinking of Mexican food tho.
 
The 2nd round was much more pleasant, tho I can't remember it now and then I recall round 3 being strange again but I can't recall that either.
Damn
 
Good one last night. My Mom is, like, a professor at some university. And she borrowed my Marine sword. I'm waiting outside her office because she's had it for awhile and I want to get it back. Eventually I go in and there's some strange woman moving in there. She tells me my Mom just quit unexpectedly and left. So I'm trying to find her and get my sword back. There's more, but I'm having a hard time remembering it. I'm dressed like Doctor Who? (Not any particular Doctor, just kind of eccentric--gray checked trousers, fancy vest, velvet jacket, etc.) Nope. Can't remember the rest.
 
I was at a cinema, there was an intermission I went to try and have a wee, but even though the toilets had about 40 stalls every one of them was full. Woke up needing to pee.
 
Another night of waking up at 4am, not being able to get back to sleep, and eventually dreaming I'm still awake when I finally do get back to sleep. I'm trying to find a suit to wear but all my suits have holes in them (a couple of my suits actually do have holes in them IRL). I keep looking at them to decide if the holes are noticeable or not and they are (at least in the dream). I'm pretty sure my black suit is OK so I'm looking for that but all I'm finding are tuxedos. And all of them are too dirty to wear and should go to the dry cleaners. While I'm looking for the black suit, I realize my Marine dress blues are ruined--moldy, moth-eaten, whatever, they've falling apart. So I go to check my other uniforms but the dream ends around that time.
 
I was back in my old house. I suspected it was a dream so I looked around the place. Everything seemed to be where it should be. I moved around quickly, trying to catch the dream out, but everything seemed right. So I went to where my computer was when I lived there and put it. Snakes appeared on the screen. I started to think maybe it was a dream. The snakes changed to different snakes(!) and my brain thought this was proof that it was real. Then I woke up.
 
Last night was the increasingly common one where I'm living in a shitty dorm/apartment with a messy roommate and unwelcome guests.
 
I was playing pool with my wife in a pub, after every shot we had to move every ball to another table and arrange them in the exact same pattern. I didn't think that was the best way to play, but those seemed to be the rules.
 
An assortment of dreams that transitioned nicely this morning, but I'll just talk about how the dream you have insomnia one works:

Woke up around 4 to use the bathroom. Couldn't get back to sleep for over an hour. I do have some meditation tricks I read in a book a long time ago but you have to (paradoxically) concentrate on clearing your mind and sometimes that's hard. Finally, I could feel myself relaxing, but then I realized I needed to use the bathroom again. Got up, walked down the hall and thought about using the one by the administration offices, but it sounded like maybe there was a janitor cleaning it. So I was trying to decide what other good bathrooms there were in the building that wouldn't be busy or nasty and realized I had a bathroom in my apartment so why would I use one in the common areas. At this point I realized I'd put on combat boots to go to the bathroom, so I tried not to make too much noise as I was walking down the hallways. I also tried to remember where I lived. Got back and realized I didn't have a private bathroom (this is all a dream, obviously) and at this point I also realized I didn't live in some kind of dorm or apartment building, I lived in a house--but I didn't have a master bathroom so I'd still have to get up and walk down the hall to the bathroom. But then I also realized that I must've turned the radio on the nightstand on and wondered if that was what was keeping me awake. I was about to turn it off when I realized there were controls that let you change the colors and patterns of the status light LEDs so I monkeyed with that a bit before deciding the pattern it had been on was the best.

I don't know if I ever fully realized I was dreaming, but at some point that dream wrapped up and I don't remember a new dream cycle until after the alarm went off and there was a long one involving going to the circus and meeting some people there.
 
Two dreams, vaguely linked. Remembered them both for quite awhile, but forgot to write them down so I've forgotten the second part. It was some kind of sexual wager thing--if I could do something, I'd get sex. The first part involved a high-wheeler/pennyfarthing old-timey bicycle. Someone had one and we were all trying to get someone to successfully ride it. I eventually got my shot and got it up and riding, but I was indoors and it was a bastard to turn and the ceilings were really low when you were on it. The host went to get their parents to show them and between the stress of trying to keep the thing up and moving (I also had no idea how to stop it--or what to do once it stopped) and the desire to be a big show-off, I turned out into some kind of garden with a stone path with shallow steps. Of course I managed to ditch it just as the parents were showing up. I tried to get back on it, but somehow I got on it backwards and there was no way to drive it any sustained amount so I got off. Then it changed and...was I on a stage in a theater? I dunno. But the bike had big fabric/feathered panels around the big main wheel that billowed out as you pedaled. But the thing somehow fell apart and parts seemed to have disappeared because we couldn't get it back together again.
 
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