Eggs Mayo fun facts thread

Seph

Retired Account
he did have a neighme he was a local whorse called bukky.
 

Cassie

Touching the monolith
Staff member
EGGS MAYO MAKES A DELICIOUS SAMMICH.
 

Big Dick McGee

If you don't know, now ya know
Birds suddenly appear-EVERYTIME HE'S NEAR!!
 

headvoid

Can I have Ops?
He has never owned a George Foreman grill, although he did recently consider ordering a Zirconium ring from QVC.
 

Seph

Retired Account
thats our EGGZ
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
He once kicked an owl and felt guilty, but it turned out the owl was evil anyway.
 

Seph

Retired Account
so he made evil owl soup and croutons to get over the shockadoobie.
 

Seph

Retired Account
yes and that was all a backlash from that ill fated visit to the owl sanctuary in berkenhead...
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Eggs once stole a hat from Ted "Hatless" McGee. Fifteen years AFTER Ted burned every hat he owned.
 

Donovan

beer, I want beer
When Ted McGinley leaves a television series they usually ask Eggs to replace him as the cool hunky character.
 

Seph

Retired Account
u can have it pedobear / period.inc
 

Dr Dave

pillzlol
Eggs once was married to British royalty, only to be banned from England for doing "unmentionable" things in a cargo container. He is no longer married.
 

Ishcabittle

Member
right.

eggs mayo's lifelong dream was to be pursued by a horny bear in sheep's clothing, a rare and beautiful to behold occurrence that can only be found, usually anyway, by the fisherman's wharf in san francisco. characterized by its long mane of dark, salt & pepper, or greying curly hair the bear in sheep's clothing can be found browsing touristy knick-knack shops with a latte in one hand and a set of hand dipped candles in the other, casually humming to themselves. though rare indeed, they can be quite beautiful, and often confuse the straight and gay communities alike, thus adding a significant amount of mystery as to the persuasion of the BISC, or Bear In Sheep's Clothing.

as they are so rare, they are as individualistic a breed of bear as you can get, some with beards, some without, some with mustaches, some without, but all with the typical bear shape and all with that long, lustrous curly hair.

now i say it was his dream, not because it was fulfilled, but in fact because it was not. it was a fateful february evening, not unlike this one, that tore that dream asunder from his heart. for he did fall in love with a BISC, but this BISC was a BISC who would not pursue, and could only be pursued. this BISC was never going to pursue eggs mayo, and their time together was only ever bittersweet. there, standing within arms length was the full realization of the dream he had had for so long, wanting, hoping, and pleading with the fates to deliver that BISC that would chase him down in a field of lilies and shag him.

but the BISC in question would not pursue, nor be persuaded. a lump of coal must have been where its heart should be, for the satisfaction that it knew eggs wanted so dearly it would not give.

and so our eggs mayo - calm, judicious, well groomed, charming, and as gentle of a soul you could hope to meet, no longer dreams that dream.

now he would like some chocolate.
 

Mirage

Still in Mom's basement
He must be chained during every full moon.
 

Seph

Retired Account
to an old crated of landmines, just to make him feel like hes in a james bond film.
 
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