Freestyle Lost: Season Four

[CaptainWacky]

(Sayid, Jin and Sun are walking through the jungle, looking for Kate.)

Jin: Hey, remember when we all used to be scared to walk through the jungle in case the smoke monster got us? I mean, wasn't it just a couple of weeks ago it totally fucked up Mister Eko? And we've all just forgotten about that ALREADY? Doesn't that strike you as odd?

Sayid: I'll strike you as odd in a minute!

Sun: Jin, just because you can speak perfect English now, doesn't mean you HAVE to speak perfect English constantly and point out plotholes, mm'kay?

Jin: Mm'kay? You never taught me that word!

Sun: It means shut up!

Sayid: Yes, be silent, all of you! I mean, both of you! SILENCE! I think I hear something...

Sun: Me too!

Jin: GULP! Speak of the smoke monster and it's sure to appear...

(SOMETHING is running through the jungle towards them. Sayid pulls out his GUN.)

Sun: You can't just shoot without knowing what it is! It could be Hurley!

Sayid: That's a risk I'm willing to take.

(Sayid SHOOTS but the THING jumps out of the jungle anyway...it's Vincent! And he's caught the bullet in his mouth!)

Jin: Some trick!

Sayid: Ineed. Hmm...

Sun: Oh no, morning sickness!

(Sun throws up.)

Jin: Hehe, I'm glad it's the women who have to carry the babies!

Sayid: I forgot you were pregnant! It's dangerous for you to be walking through the jungle in your state!

Jin: Oh, NOW he thinks it's dangerous...

Sun: Don't worry, I'll be fine. Desmond had a flashforward, said the baby is born off the island and is healthy!

Sayid: Oh?

Jin: Yep! Said it's a cute little thing too. Funny thing is, he didn't remember seeing me in this flashforward. I guess I was in the toilet or buying a panda or something.

Sayid: Well, I'm glad to hear it. I wonder what I'll be getting up to in the future!

WHOOOOSH

(The future. Sayid is drinking COFFEE in STARBUCKS. A blond woman (Katee Sachoff in a cameo and IN JOKE) walks up to him.)

Woman: I bring a message...from your employer.

Sayid: From Ben?

Woman: Sssh, keep it down. You never know where the agents of Widmore could be.

Sayid: Well saying the name "Widmore" is going to draw attention to us too!

Woman: Probably! Do you want the fuckdamn message or don't you?

Sayid: Give it to me!

Woman: He says...answers your phone.

Sayid: Huh?

(Sayid's phone starts to ring.)

Sayid: Oh, right.

Woman: SEEYA.

Sayid: Hey, wait...do you want to go back to my hotel room?

Woman: What, so you can shoot me after great sex? No thanks!

Sayid: Bah! I have quite a reputation, it seems...

Woman: Just answer your phone for Jacob's sake!

(Sayid answers the phone.)

Sayid: Hello...boss.

Ben: Good. Gooood. You call me boss. Soon, perhaps, you shall call me friend.

Sayid: I DOUBT IT YOU BASTARD.

Ben: Well, quite. I have another name for you, Sayid. The last name of all. The big cheese himself, the man behind the curtain, so to speak. Kill him and this is all over.

Sayid: Give me the naaaame.

Ben: His name is Johnny Fakename. Oh, don't worry, that's a fake name. But I have his address...

(LATER. Sayid is breaking into JOHNNY FAKENAME'S house. He manages to avoid tripping the alarm and heads towards the bedroom.)

Sayid: All too easy.

(SUDDENLY, Keamey jumps out from behind a plant pot!)

Keamey: Told you we'd meet again!

Sayid: So you did!

(They have an EPIC FIGHT SCENE, punching and kicking the shit out of each other and slamming through tables and stuff. Finally, Keamey seems to be in control, his hands around Sayid's throat, squeezing...)

Keamey: I've always wanted to kill an Iraqi like this.

Sayid: YOU...JUST...CROSSED...THE...LINE...BY...BRINGING...RACE...INTO...IT...

(Sayid manages to MONKEY FLIP Keamey right over his head and out a window where he falls to his DEATH, impaled on a spike.)

Sayid: Now to put an end to this!

(He KICKS the bedroom door open and walks up the bed. He aims his gun and pulls the sheets back...)

Sayid: You!

Ben: Hello Sayid.

(BEN is lying in the bed!)

Sayid: But...you sent me to kill the one responsible for everything...the man in control of all the others I killed...your nemesis...

Ben: Surprise!

Sayid: You mean, you're in charge of BOTH sides?

Ben: Duh!

Sayid: But...but why?

Ben: I like fucking with people, Sayid. And other reasons that you couldn't possibly understand. But mainly the fucking with people.

Sayid: I'LL KILL YOU!

Ben: Yes, I thought you might. But you'll have to go through my DAUGHTER first!

Sayid: Alex? She's hot, but I'd snap her neck in three seconds!

Ben: My OTHER daughter.

Sayid: Charlotte? But she's still on the island!

Ben: No Sayid...my OTHER OTHER daughter!

(A woman steps out of the shadows.)

Sayid: No...it can't be!

Nadia: Hello Sayid.

(IT'S HIS OLD GIRLFRIEND NADIA!)

Sayid: Not you...no...

Nadia: Shall I kill him, father?

Ben: Oh, why not!

LOST

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Not Nadia! Anyone but her!!

 

[CaptainWacky]

(Jack, Locke and Claire are walking along the beach looking for Kate and Aaron.)

Claire: AARON? CAN YOU HEAR ME? SHOUT TO MOMMY!

Jack: It's a baby, Claire, it can't shout.

Claire: I know! I'm just so emotionally distraught!

Locke: There there.

(He pats her on the back.)

Jack: DON'T YOU PAT HER ON THE BACK. YOU COULD BE HOLDING A KNIFE.

Locke: I'm not!

Jack: YOU COULD BE.

Locke: Jack, why do you hate me so much?

Jack: YOU BLEW UP NAOMI. YOU STABBED A SUBMARINE. AND OTHER STUFF.

Locke: And you tried to shoot me in the face!

Jack: I WAS ANGRY.

Locke: Anger clouds your judgement.

Jack: SHUT UP.

Claire: Both of you shut up! We need to find my bay-bee!

Jack: I can't wait to get off this island! And once I do, I never want to see Aaron again!

Locke: You angry hate-filled man.

Jack: SHUT UP.

Claire: AAAAAAAARON?

Jack: SHUT UP.

Locke: LOOK!

(The FREIGHTER is sailing towards the island!)

Jack: Finally! They're here to rescue us!

Locke: I can't let them...

(Locke takes out a knife and prepares to throw it at the freighter.)

Jack: YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO THROW THAT KNIFE THROUGH ME, JOHN.

Locke: MAYBE I WILL.

(Claire notices a ghost Charlie in the jungle and wanders off.)

Jack: THEY'RE GOING TO RESCUE US, CAN'T YOU SEE?

Locke: No Jack! They're evil, I think!

Jack: Oh, you THINK! That's a good enough reason to throw a knife at them!

Locke: Jack, turn around!

Jack: NEVER!

Locke: JACK, I'M FUCKING SERIOUS!

Jack: You lying...oh.

(Jack turns around. The front of the freighter has opened up like a pair of wide JAWS. It has GIANT MECHANICAL TEETH.)

Locke: IT'S GOING TO EAT US!

Jack: Damn it, I'm never going to get off this island!

WHOOOSH

(The future. Jack and Kate are standing outside a mental asylum.)

Kate: So this is it?

Jack: Yep.

Kate: We just need to bust out Hurley then get back to the island?

Jack: Yep. Hey, what made you change your mind about going back?

Kate: Uhh...nothing.

Jack: You know, I heard on the news about your mom dying after falling down the stairs and a doctor being shot.

Kate: ...

Jack: You think WIDMORE did it?

Kate: Yeah, probably!

Jack: Let's go get our fat friend.

(They go inside. A NURSE stops them. It's Libby!)

Jack: Libby?!

Libby: Hey! You're from the Oceanic Sxi!

Kate: Libby, I don't think we ever actually talking on the island, but I know you're dead?

Libby: Libby? My name is Betty! My twin sister was named Libby! She died on 815! I used to be a mental patient but then I got better and became a nurse! People often mistake me for Libby!

Kate: Oh, that explains it. Wraps it all up nicely!

Libby/Betty: Yep!

(She walks away.)

Jack: Look, there's Hurley!

(Hurley is playing CONNEC FOUR with A PARROT.)

Jack: We're busting you out, Hugo!

Hurley: Okay, dude!

Parrot: SWQUAK! OKAY DUDE!

Kate: Uhh, there's no security. We can just walk out.

Jack: That saves some time!

(They just walk out and get in a VAN.)

Jack: We're going back to the island.

Hurley: Cool. Hey, where's Sayid?

Jack: No one knows! He was last seen talking to a blond woman in a Starbucks.

Hurley: And Sun?

Kate: Korea!

Hurley: Huh. So who's driving? Because it's like we're the A-Team, you know, in this van. I'm Murdoch, just busted out of the mental hospital. Kate is face because she's so pretty. Jack is Hannibal because he's started smoking cigars for some reason...

Jack: I'm addicted to EVERYTHING now!

Hurley: But who's driving? Who's BA?

(BEN spins round from the driver's seat.)

Ben: Enough of your jibba jabba, Hugo!

Hurley: DOCTOR LINUS!?

Kate and Jack: DOCTOR!?

LOST

 

[Fuddlemiff]

LOL... this is better thought out than the series. And you don't have to wait six months to find out the answers to everything. You should have your own website. Y'know, with your name and stuff.

 

[whisky]

epic stuff

 

[Fuddlemiff]

You should make Carl turn out to be Ben's son and that's why he doesn't want Carl and Alex together. It fits in with canon sort of damnit!

 

[CaptainWacky]

Karl is still alive in my continuity, so anything could happen!

 

[curiousa2z]

You must spread some TK karma around before givng it to CaptainWacky again.

fascists!!

anyway - excellent.

Let's vote the writers off the Island and install Wacky in their places.

 

[CaptainWacky]

(A SHIP is sailing through the DARK SEA. It's the BLACK ROCK! On the bridge, captain Magnus Hanso is spinning the wheel around like crazy.)

Hanso: ARR HARR HARR!

(RICHARD ALPERT with a long white beard, runs onto the bridge.)

Richard: Captain, someone's my journal!

Hanso: ARR HARR HARR!

Richard: You're drunk again!

Hanso: TIS TRUE! HARR HARR! ARR! PIECES OF EIGHT! Bring a slave to the bridge so I can beat him for my pleasure! Ahahaha!

Richard: That is inhuman!

Hanso: ARR HARR HARR! So what? I'm a CAPTAIN, lad! I do what I want, when I want! ARR HARR HARR! Where is Tom?

Richard: In his cabin.

Hanso: Doing what?

Richard: Doing the cabin boy!

Hanso: ARR HARR HARR! Well, the lad is of legal age after all!

Richard: Uhh, homosexuality is illegal, captain.

Hanso: Arr! I think I became unstuck in time for a moment there! ARR HARR HARR!

Richard: Hmm, me too! I was just in the future...with some bitch named Kate!

Hanso: ARR, give her a slap for me!

Richard: What's going on? Captain, are you sure we're on course?

Hanso: Well, I'm drunk as a skunk, so probably not! ARR HARR HARR!

Richard: We could have sailed into a forbidden area of the sea, captain!

Hanso: Nothing is forbidden to me!

Richard: You fool! Turn this ship around!

Hanso: NEVER!

Richard: TURN IT!

(They fight over the wheel. SUDDENLY, a HUGE WAVE carries the ship high into the air!)

Richard: Oh shit!

Hanso: Well, I had a good life, I suppose.

Richard: No you didn't!

Hanso: TRUE!

(Hanso pulls out a knife and stabs himself in the heart, just as the ship lands...ON THE ISLAND!)

Richard: Guess I have to live here now.

WHOOOOSH

(The present day. Richard and KATE are up high in the TREES in a SECRET CITY where the OTHERS are living in SECRET.)

Kate: Wow, I can't believe you guys had a secret city in the trees all along!

Richard: We call it the Temple! For some reason.

Kate: How come we never noticed it?

Richard: Human beings very rarely look up.

Kate: Umm...I like up all the time.

Richard: Silence, miss Austen! You are my prisoner, remember!

Kate: And the baby? Where is it?

Richard: Don't worry, Harper is looking after the baby!

(He points across to another treehouse where Harper is changing Aaron's diaper.)

Harper: Stinky little shit! I'm so glad Goodwin refused to ever impregnate me! Well, mainly because I would have died in childbirth...but the smell is part of it too.

Richard: See?

Kate: Fine...hey, Sawyer and Hurley!

(SAWYER and HURLEY are down below.)

Kate: Run! IT'S A TRAP!

Sawyer: Freckles?

(The OTHERS descend from the trees and surround Saywer and Hurley.)

Richard: We have you now!

Sawyer: God damn it!

Hurley: Dude.

Kate: I'm sorry guys, they took my prisoner...some bitter woman is looking after Aaron.

Sawyer: You still crazy, Freckles?

Kate: You mean from that blow to the head by the sack of doorknobs swung by the redhead?

Sawyer: Yeah, of course that's what I mean!

Kate: Just a little.

Richard: SILENCE, WENCH!

Kate: Wench!?

Richard: Sorry, was just having a flashback to the old days...when women were wenches, cabin boys were Tom's and slaves could be beaten for the captain's pleasure...never mind. Anyway, we're gonig to kill you all now.

Kate: NOOOO!

Hurley: Dude!

Sawyer: What gives you the right!

Richard: Jacob commands it!

Sawyer: I don't know who that is, but how do you know? Have you asked him?

Richard: Well, no...but his cabin is just over there. So we can ask him now!

Sawyer: Son of a bitch!

(They head over to JACOB'S CABIN...but suddenly, MILES, FRANK, CHARLOTTE and DANIEL come JUMPING OUT from behind BUSHES with GUNS.)

Daniel: You're, uhh, surrounded.

Sawyer: What the fuck! Who are you guys working for now?

Miles: Oh, it's pretty obvious.

Sawyer: ...yeah, it is.

Charlotte: Put your bloody hands up!

(Richard, Sawyer, Hurley and Kate put their hands up.)

Kate: You and me ain't through, Red.

Richard: What do you mean by this? You have commited an act of EVIL right in front of Jacob's cabin! He shall punish you!

Frank: Oh will he now...

Richard: Ah, the door's opening, here comes...Jacob!?

(The door swings open...and BEN walks out.)

Ben: I'm afraid Jacob can't come out to play right now.

LOST

 

[Cassie]

Ben is a sneaky bastard, ARR.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Alpert should have been saying someone's STOL my journal, a reference to Widmore buying the first mate's journal years later.

 

[whisky]

As mod cant you edit posts?

 

[CaptainWacky]

APPARENTLY NOT. Another great reason why I should be an admin (that and sex with Cow, apparently.)

 

[CaptainWacky]

(Desmond, Juliet, Michael, Rose and Bernard are still on the beach.)

Juliet: Something's wrong. They should have found Kate by now.

Desmond: Aye.

Michael: Oww, my groing.

Rose: Stop your bellyaching, child.

Bernard: You're just lucky it was a FAKE BULLET.

Juliet: Yeah, I was using fake bullets all along. I would never shoot Desmond.

(Desmond blushes. IS THERE SOME ROMANTIC CHEMISTRY STILL BETWEEN HIM AND JULIET!?)

Michael: Fake bullets still hurt, man!

Desmond: Come on, we're going to find Kate and the others.

Juliet: You're a man of action.

(Desmond and Juliet BOTH blush. DEFINITE ROMANTIC TENSION THERE.)

Michael: Okay, I'll come...just don't go too fast.

Desmond: But where are they?

WHOOOOSH

(Desmond FLASH FORWARDS. He's in the others' tree city. All the main characters are there. There is a FIRE below and evil looking men CAMOUFLAGE below, shooting guns and stuff!)

Sawyer: We're totally surrounded!

Daniel: Do it now, Charlotte. DO IT NOW!

Desmond: Do what...ach!

WHOOOOSH

(Back to the present.)

Desmond: I just jumped through time!

Juliet: What!?

Desmond: I was in a city. A city in the trees!

Juliet: Oh, right, the Temple.

Desmond: Everyone was there. Kate, the baby, Jack, some guys with guns, everyone!

Juliet: I know where it is, LET'S GO!

(Desmond and Juliet run into the jungle, Michael limping behind.)

Bernard: Let me guess, the island wants us to stay here.

Rose: No, I do. With everyone gone, we can eat all the food!

Bernard: Rose?

Rose: I've developed an eating disorder!

(Desmond, Juliet and Michael head through the jungle.)

Juliet: It's not far...

WHOOOOOSH

(Desmond is in the PAST now, in BED with PENNY.)

Penny: What's the matter Desmond?

Desmond: I was just in the future, on an island, with a blond woman and a black guy who was shot in the groin!

Penny: Is this blond woman a threat to our relationship?

Desmond: I DON'T KNOW!

(SUDDENLY, Charles Widmore runs in!)

Widmore: GET OFF MY DAUGHTER, YOU CURR!

Desmond: Sir, I can explain, we were just having consentual sex!

Widmore: I DON'T CARE!

Penny: Dad, please!

Widmore: SHUT UP YOU TROLLOP.

Desmond: Don't talk to her that way, you big wanker!

(Widmore hits Desmond with a cricket bat.)

WHOOOOOOOSH

Juliet: Almost there!

Michael: My groin...

Desmond: I can see it! It's not on fire!

Juliet: Then we may be here in time to avert this tragedy.

Desmond: Ach, you cannae change the future, lass!

WHOOOOOSH

(Back to the BATTLE.)

Kate: They're still coming! It didn't kill them all!

(Keamey is climing up a tree with one arm, firing a gun with the other. A bullet his Hurley in the knee.)

Hurley: My knee!

Keamey: AHAHAHAHAHA, I LOVE SHOOTIN' STUFF!

Jack: We must retreate!

Kate: I'm not letting them take my baby!

Claire: He's my bay-bee!

Jack: Run Kate!

Kate: No, I can't...

Jack: KATE DAMN IT RUN.

WHOOOOSH

Desmond: Hurley gets shot in the knee!

Juliet: Oh no, not Hurley!

Michael: Uhh, did I shoot him?

Desmond: No, brother.

Michael: Hehe, score another one for Michael!

(SUDDENLY Jack and Locke run out of the jungle.)

Jack: Juliet, Desmond, TRAITOR, what are you guys...

Juliet: We're trying to get to the city in the trees.

Locke: There's a city in the trees?

Juliet: Yes...

Locke: THERE'S A CITY IN THE TREES AND YOU ALL KNOW IT!

Jack: Well let's get up there!

Juliet: But there's going to be an attack...

Jack: It's coming NOW!

Desmond: What's coming, brother?

Jack: The freighter. AND IT'S EATING EVERYTHING IN ITS PATH!

Locke: It ate my knife!

Jack: LET'S GO. Hey, have any of you seen Claire?

Michael: I didn't shoot her!

Desmond: I saw here. In the future...

WHOOOOSH

(Desmond is talking to a man in the shadows.)

Desmond: I can't believe I'm going home! And don't worry, I won't tell anyone about what I saw when I jumped to the future.

(The man steps out of the shadows. It's Ben!)

Ben: I know you won't.

(BEN SHOOTS DESMOND IN THE CHEST!)

Desmond: You...no...I can't die here...I...ACH!

WHOOOOSH

Juliet: Desmond, we need to get going! What's wrong again? Did you jump? What did you see? What's wrong, Desmond!?

Michael: Tell us, man!

Desmond: I'm gonna die, brother!

LOST

 

[Ishcabittle]

that ben has some sticky fingers.

WACKY FOR ADMIN, THE PEOPLE DEMAND IT.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

lol, knife.

 

[Cassie]

NO! Desmond cannae die!

 

[CaptainWacky]

(Jack, Locke, Desmond, Juliet and Michael run through the jungle.)

Jack: CLAIRE! WHERE ARE YOU? THE FREIGHTER IS COMING, WE NEED TO HIDE!

Juliet: Jack this probably isn't the best time to mention this, but according the file we have on Claire, she's your half sister.

Jack: WAAAH!?

Juliet: Crazy huh!

Locke: Never mind that!

Jack: NEVER MIND THAT?

Locke: That's right.

Jack: You can't say that!

Locke: Don't tell me what I can't say.

Jack: If you'd just found out you had a sister...hey, a cabin!

Desmond: What the bloody hell is a cabin doing here?

Juliet: Oh, that's Jacob's cabin.

Locke: HEY JACOB, IT'S ME, JOHN, BACK TO VISIT YOU!

Michael: Something's wrong man. I can sense trouble...

Jack: YOU ARE TROUBLE>

Michael: No man, it's...

(Miles, Charlotte and Daniel jump out from behind the cabin.)

Charlotte: Ah-ha!

Daniel: You're, uhh, our, umm, prisoners now...sorry.

Miles: Don't fucking say sorry!

Jack: WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING THIS?

Daniel: We've, umm, got a, uhh...

Miles: ...a new boss! CHRIST. Speak faster! We work for Ben now! And hey, look, we've got Kate and Richard all tied up!

(Kate and Richard are all tied up behind the cabin.)

Kate: Jack! You came to rescue me!

Jack: Well, not really.

Kate: I love you!

Jack: Oh. Yeah, we came to rescue you, babe!

Juliet: I thought you were with me now, Jack!?

Jack: Nah!

Desmond: What the bloody hell are you thinking, giving up a lovely piece of crumpet like Juliet for a lying slut like Kate?

Kate: Hey! I am not a liar!

Juliet: You really think I'm a lovely piece of crumpet?

(Desmond blushes.)

Desmond: Aye.

(Juliet blushes.)

Mile: Oh pass me the sick bucket, please!

Jack: Shut up, Miles!

Charlotte: Yeah, shut up! I believe in romance too. For I was once in love, with Liam from...

Jack: Shut up, Charlotte!

Daniel: Hey, uhh, don't tell her to, umm, shut up. Because I, uhh, love, umm, her.

Michael: Who?

Daniel: Uhh...

Juliet: Me?

Daniel: Uhh...

Desmond: Get your hands off her, Daniel!

Daniel: Your my, uhh, constant, Desmond, I wouldn't, uhh...

Miles: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

Locke: Shut up, Miles! Or it's the grenade for you!

Miles: I'm pointing a gun at your right now!

Locke: Things change.

Desmond: Oh yeah, I just remembered! I had a flash of the future, brothers! We were all together, all the main characters, and the freighter people were trying to kill us!

Kate: Who, those three?

Desmond: No, the OTHER freighter people!

(Frank walks out of the cabin.)

Kate: Who, HIM?

Charlotte: Where were you, Frank?

Frank: Taking a piss!

Charlotte: Oh.

Desmond: Don't you see, brothers. We all have to band together or we'll die!

Jack: LIVE TOGETHER, DIE ALONE.

Desmond: Aye!

Daniel: That, uhh, makes, umm, sense...

Miles: Fuck that! We work for Ben! He's went to get his hot jailbait daughter, but as soon as he comes back, we'll do EXACTLY as he says!

Michael: Come on, man!

Miles: Hey, you're the guy I offered an orange!

Charlotte: Come on Miles, just agree, we don't want to be killed off...we'll be safer altogether.

Desmond: Hurley gets shot in the knee!

Charlotte: You see? If Hurley gets shot in the knee, there's less chance of one of us dying.

Daniel: And, uhh, if Claire is there, she'll, umm, probably die.

Charlotte: Yeah! So come on, Miles.

Miles: No.

Desmond: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?

Kate: Yeah!

Jack: Yeah!

Juliet: I AGREE WITH DESMOND.

Locke: What IS your story anyway, Miles?

Miles: Well...

WHOOOOSH

(Miles is in a CHURCH talking to a PRIEST.)

Miles: I just...I'm not religious but...

Priest: BUt you say you can see dead people.

Miles: Yeah! Crazy shit, right?

Priest: No. Jesus could see dead people, you know.

Miles: Really? That wasn't in the bible!

Priest: It was! Page 38.

Miles: Uhh...are you even a real priest?

Priest: NO, I WORK FOR MISTER WIDMORE! GUARDS!

(Some GUARDS jump out and grab Miles.)

Priest: NOW we shall use your powers for EVIL!

Miles: No! NO!

(Miles SQUEEZES his eyes really tight...and vanishes! He reappears floating in a white VOID!)

Miles: Where the fuck am I?

Voice: YOU ARE IN THE VOID, MILES.

Miles: Who are you?

Voice: I AM JACOB. GUARDIAN OF THE DEAD. OWNER OF A FINE CABIN.

Miles: Where are you?

Jacob: On an island. BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW.

Miles: How do I get out of here?

Jacbo: THAT IS UP TO YOU TO DISCOVER. YOU ARE A GHOST-READER, MILES>

Miles: That's a lame name.

Jacob: Miles? Yes, I suppose it is.

Miles: No, ghost-reader! Sounds stupid!

Jacob; IT'S DESCRIPTIVE, OKAY? YOU READ GHOSTS.

Miles: Are you a ghost?

Another Voice: He isn't. BUT I AM!

Miles; Father! BUT YOU'RE DEAD!

Miles' dad: That's right, I'm a ghost! BOO!

Miles: This is too scary...I want out of here.

Jacob: THEN THERE IS ONE WHO CAN HELP YOU. ANOTHER GHOST READ. THE STRONGEST GHOST READER IN THE WORLD.

Miles: Who is he?

Yet Another Voice: That's easy, Miles. He's me.

Miles: Who are you!?

(It's Ben!)

Ben: I'm Ben!

LOST

 

[CaptainWacky]

(Claire is sitting in front of the tv, watching Neighbours. BUT IS THIS A FLASHBACK OF A FLASHFORWARD!?)

Claire: I love Neighbours!

(There is a man sitting next to her. It's Ben!)

Ben: Me too.

LOST

 

[CaptainWacky]

Freestyle Lost is going on hiatus for EIGHT WEEKS!