Gems from Twitter

[Dr Dave]

Portland OR Alerts ‏@pdxalerts Nov 24

Vancouver - police to Charlie's Bar (112th) -report of a drunk female trying to stab a guy in neck who's trying to prevent her from driving

Sounds like a fun bar...

 

[Dr Dave]

Portland OR Alerts ‏@pdxalerts Nov 23

Clark County-Deputies to Safeway(NE 76th St)-report of theft-suspects took a large amount of Seattle Seahawks clothing, now fleeing in car

The bad part about this story is he took Seachickens stuff (as I call The Seahawks). If your going to steal stuff, don't take that crap.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Maybe he had her cars keys in his neck.

 

[Cassie]

FBI New York ‏@NewYorkFBI 3h3 hours ago

Arrested today: Martin Shkreli on securities fraud related charges https://www.fbi.gov/newyork/press-r...indicted-in-multi-million-dollar-fraud-scheme …

FBI New York ‏@NewYorkFBI 3h3 hours ago

#Breaking no seizure warrant at the arrest of Martin Shkreli today, which means we didn't seize the Wu-Tang Clan album.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Bubba's gonna turn his butthole into a tunnel of love in the slammer. SLAMMER LOL.

 

[Cassie]

Aaron Douglas ‏@theaarondouglas 8m

 

[CaptainWacky]

I bet someone wanked to that then remembered it's a baby penis so technically that makes them a paedo now.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

I always heard it was a toe. :-/

 

[Cassie]

Bubba's gonna turn his butthole into a tunnel of love in the slammer. SLAMMER LOL.

Someone's taken over his twitter account https://twitter.com/MartinShkreli

Martin The God ‏@MartinShkreli 6h6 hours ago
I am now a god
874 retweets 712 likes

Martin The God ‏@MartinShkreli 6h6 hours ago
Anyone want free money? Willing to donate hundreds of thousands to charities before I go to prison...

Martin The God ‏@MartinShkreli 6h6 hours ago
I'm so god damn ugly... I gotta use okcupid :/ Fuck my life
503 retweets 516 likes

Martin The God ‏@MartinShkreli 6h6 hours ago
I got anal aids now good thing the pill is right here for $700
859 retweets 680 likes

Martin The God ‏@MartinShkreli 6h6 hours ago
fuck da fbi u know they cant touch a god like meh
868 retweets 615 likes

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

I always heard it was a toe. :-/

The baby seems to think it's his peepee.

Nirvana's naked Nevermind baby all grown up

 

[CaptainWacky]

Fucking lame that he recreated it without his cock/toe out.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

He calls it his "Jean Cocteau".

 

[Cassie]

this belongs in the tumblr thread, but we're talking about peenus here.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Amazingly, that's what many Tea Party protest signs look like (that are made by adults).

 

[Cassie]

William Gibson Retweeted
victor reyes ‏@victoreyesg1204 4h4 hours ago

Look who born today @GreatDismal

 

[Cassie]

This Twitter acct is so good https://twitter.com/quietpinetrees Science fiction in 140 characters. JUST READ IT :rwmad:

 

[Fuddlemiff]

I follow this similar one https://twitter.com/MicroSFF

Though lately they've been posting non-fiction stuff. Boo-urns.

 

[Cassie]

Cher ‏@cher 19h19 hours ago

Trump NOT Doing FOX Debate Cause Of MEGAN KELLYSome1 Get Him TOE SHOES,fkng PRIMA DONNA. HOW CAN HE FACE ISIS,HE CANT FACE A CHICK ON
TV.


CHER IS A NATIONAL TREASURE

 

[CaptainWacky]

Amber Rose Verified account
‏@DaRealAmberRose

Awww @kanyewest are u mad I'm not around to play in ur asshole anymore? #FingersInTheBootyAssBitch☝

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

TOPICAL!