The Tomtrek
Love Wookiee
She just knows that jewish girls are hotter (DOES SHE HAVE A GIRL? THE NAMES ARE NO HELP AT ALL!).
After weeks of holiday excess, no doubt your colon is in dreadful shape, all impacted and cluttered and unfit for polite company. Thankfully there is no reason why your lower intestinal tract should not enjoy the same simple, ridiculously expensive luxuries that Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP lifestyle program regularly recommends for all her darling, mewling urchins, who would otherwise flail about helplessly in their discarded Cheez-It box mountains, blinded by the rainbow chip frosting streaks clotting their eyes. Especially not in this, the Newest Of Years, and especially not when Paltrow has finally taken GOOP at its most literal meaning by packaging her $425 “GOOP Cleanse” (cheekily listed under GOOP's "Make" directory) which will, according to GOOP-endorsed physician Dr. Alejandro Junger M.D., “give your digestive system a break” from all that digestion it was designed to do, and allow your stomach to relax and maybe concentrate on something more productive, such as learning to give you Shiatsu massage from the inside.
Our Lady Gwyneth said:The goop Cleanse
Next week, when it’s back to the grind with work and the daily school run, I’m starting off with Clean, my go-to cleanse from Dr. Alejandro Junger, with whom goop has partnered for the month of January. I’ve used Clean in the past with great results, losing a few pounds and kickstarting a healthier and more energetic New Year. This month, I’ll be doing it along with members of the goop team and we hope you will too. And, it goes without saying, but be sure to check with your doctor before getting started!
Love,
gp