Gwyneth Paltrow

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

If someone feels the need to post it, please use spoiler tags.

 

[SAUSAGEMAN]

Looks like we struck gold!

She is lightly tanned and smooth skinned while avoiding the telltale waxy complexion of overdone Botox. "I'll take my wrinkles," she says. "I don't like the Botox thing." But she does enjoy sunshine for the vitamin D, despite "my dermatologist yelling at me." (She admits to "little things, like lasers" and regular facials, often with the London-based Vaishaly Patel.)

Little things, like lasers.

Right now, the dedicated eater (see Gwyneth chowing on a bocadillo with Mario Batali in Spain or on fried chicken while filming Country Strong down South) is also on a 12-week detox program. "I have a lot of inflammation in my system, so I'm not having anything I'm allergic to—no gluten, no dairy, no sugar."

The trigger for these seasonal detox sessions, she says, is recognizing her physical symptoms: "I'll wake up exhausted; I can feel my adrenal cortex being really high. When I get into bed, my heart will pound, my skin won't be good, I'll feel cranky, and then I'll just know it's time."

This doesn't mean, though, that Gwyneth leads a monastic, joyless existence. When she's not detoxing, "I eat whatever I want. I like bread and cheese and wine, and that makes my life fun and enjoyable."

Her husband, Chris Martin, is hugely supportive of Goop. Today he is covering for Gwyneth with the kids in between duties as lead singer of Coldplay and planning a world tour to promote the band's latest album. The two of them seem affectionately relaxed together—"he's very communicative," she says, "which is rare for a British man"—at ease with their nine-year relationship and their roles as parents. "If I'm in L.A. for three days working, then my husband does the school run; it's always one of us," although they do have a nanny for the children. "She's French, so she's teaching them French, and their previous nanny was Spanish, so they're fluent in Spanish."`

Rich people amirite.

"I've been saving my clothes for her since before she was born. I was like, I'll bet you anything I'll have a daughter, and she'll be a really cool butch lesbian and be so above clothes, and I got a very clothes-obsessed child. So if she's a lesbian, she's a lipstick lesbian. She doesn't like anything avant-garde at all. She likes anything that's pretty, pretty, pretty or has a bow or a ruffle or is pink."

"The older I get, the more open-minded I get, the less judgmental I get. Life is long. I have friends who I love and admire who have had an affair. When I was younger, I would have said he's a terrible person or she's a terrible person. But who made these laws?"

This woman. She's the worst.

 

[CaptainWacky]

She's a hero.

 

[FBI parte due]

"Little things, like lasers" is a phrase I feel like I should use more often in real life.

 

[Ilyanna]

I'll wake up exhausted; I can feel my adrenal cortex being really high. When I get into bed, my heart will pound, my skin won't be good, I'll feel cranky, and then I'll just know it's time.

It's called "menstrution", little girl, and no, a detox really won't help you that much, trust me on this.

 

['Gear]

"EGAD! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?"

"Don't be alarmed - That's just the unsettling feeling of your adrenal cortex being really high"

 

[CaptainWacky]

SHE'S FIERCE.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Hmm. They've both been married to a Top 40 artist named Chris except only one of them GOT BEAT UP BY HIM.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I don't think Rihanna was married to Beaty Boy.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Well he certainly marked his territory as if they were.

 

['Gear]

Apple is a lovely old world Jewish name.

 

[CaptainWacky]

EXACTLY.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

GOOD ON YE GWYNNIE YEW OLD JEW LOL

 

[CaptainWacky]

If Gwyneth used TK chat, she'd constantly be saying "SUSIE JEWS."

 

[SAUSAGEMAN]

I caught up on goop.

You know when you start hearing about the same thing from different people at around the same time? This has been happening to me lately in regard to, well, bees. I was recently given "bee venom therapy" for an old injury and it disappeared. I was recommended bee pollen, raw honey and propolis for various purposes. So far, these recommendations have worked for me.

One of the many exciting things about living in England for a good part of the year is the perpetual discovery. I am constantly delighting in what might be very ordinary for people who are native to this land.

This strange, exotic, foreign land!

Charlotte Tilbury, the famous makeup artist who has worked with people like Kate Moss, Kate Hudson, Jennifer Lopez and more, worked for years with the MyFace creative team to develop cosmetics that were affordable but good enough to use on her clients. My makeup artist, Emma Lovell, who trained with Charlotte got me into MyFace’s foundation, which she uses for me at events like the Venice Film Festival.

This is perhaps the most elaborate and concentrated namedrop in the history of the world.

I have never been much of a self-help person

!!!

 

[CaptainWacky]

She types it all with a wry smile.

 

[SAUSAGEMAN]

Gwyneth was too busy with her colon cleanse or whatever to pick up when Iron Man was calling

 

[headvoid]

I watched Iron Man last night, Gwyneth played an attractive woman very well.

I wanted to shake her pepper pot

 

[whisky]

SHE'S FIERCE.

Is it me, or does it look like some crazy woman cut off Rhianna's face and is wearing it over her own?

 

[FBI parte due]

You'd like that, WOULDN'T YOU.