HEY MENTY

[CaptainWacky]

THERE'S A HAIR ON MY TONGUE, MENTY.

YOU PUT IT THERE.

 

[CaptainWacky]

WHAT ABOUT GAME OF THRONES MENTY

 

[CaptainWacky]

FUCKING MENTY

 

[CaptainWacky]

I LOVE YOU REALLYH

 

[CaptainWacky]

OR DO I

 

[CaptainWacky]

FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING MENTY

 

[CaptainWacky]

I UNDERSTAND NOW WHY BLACK FEATHERS WENT NUTS ON YOU

 

[CaptainWacky]

WELL, NO, ACTUALLY, I DON'T. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS THAT.

 

[CaptainWacky]

ANYWAY, MENTY, I JUST FEEL LIKE WE COULD PROBABLY TALK ABOUT STUFF TOGETHER ON THE INTERNET IF YOU POSTED (THERE'S REALLY NO QUESTION THAT I'D POST. LOOK AT MY FUCKING POST COUNT.)

THAT'S ALL.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I REALLY CAN'T REMEMBER A CERTAIN DETAIL I HAD PLANNED FOR DR DAVE'S CASEBOOK SO THAT'S THAT WHOLE THING RUINED (NOT REALLY RELEVENT TO MENTY.)

 

[CaptainWacky]

I BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THE "I'LL MURDER A MINE FIELDER EVERY DAY UNTIL CHRISTMAS" THREAD. PEOPLE SEEMED TO LIKE IT.

 

[CaptainWacky]

EMMA WATSON'S ALRIGHT.

 

[CaptainWacky]

NOT AS GOOD AS MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG WHO REALLY IS LOWER THAN EVER BEFORE NOW ON MY BRAIN (BUT I STILL LIKE HER) SORRY TOMTREK BUT I HAVE TO BE HONEST ABOUT THESE THINGS IT WOULD BE PATRONISING TO LIE TO YOU AND IT'S NOT LIKE I'M SAYING SHE'S CHANGED (THOUGH SHE HAS A BIT, BUT NOT SAYING IT'S BETTER OR WORSE) JUST THAT MY BRAIN IS OUT OF ALIGNMENT WITH HER NOW AS I HAVE VASTLY VASTLY VASTLY INCREASED THE SCOPE OF MY FEMALE CELEBRITY OBSESSION TO A RIDICULOUS DEGREE OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS AND REALLY THERE ARE A LOT OF GOOD FEMALE CELEBRITIES OUT THERE WHO DESREVE MY CREEPY ATTENTION JUST AS MUCH AS MICHELLE AND YES EVEN NATALIE IF NOT MORE, SO YES MY MIND HAS EXPANDED IN THOSE AREAS AND YOU CAN'T BEGRUDGE ME THAT SURELY, AT LEAST MICHELLE WAS NUMBER TWO ON THE LAST WHOH, NOT MANY PEOPLE CAN SAY THAT CAN THEY, BUT WHAT ABOUT GILLIAN JACOBS EH SHE HAS AN INTERESTING FACE, ANYWAY I'VE CHANGED AND I'M A MACHINE DESIGNED ONLY FOR RANKING FEMALE CELEBRITIES OKAY NOT JUST A FEW JEWS LIKE I USED TO DO LOL RACISM UMM ANYWAY, BACK ON TOPIC: MENTY WEARS SOCKS.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I'M GOING TO REPLY TO THIS THREAD EVERY 108 MINUTES UNTIL MENTY REPLIES LOL LOST REFERENCE REMEMBER JIN KILLING HIMSELF TO DIE WITH SUN AND LEAVE THEIR DAUGHTER AN ORPHAN WHAT A HERO.

 

[CaptainWacky]

OH MENTY, WHEN YOU CAME YOU GAVE WITHOUT TAKING
BUT YOU DON'T REPLY TO THIS THREAD, OH MENTY
WHEN YOU KISSED ME YOU STOPPED ME FROM SHAKING
BUT THAT WAS ONLY A MASTURBATION FANTASY I HAD IN 2006, OH MENTY

 

[CaptainWacky]

SHORT PLAY ABOUT MENTY

(MENTY WALKS UNTO STAGE AND DOES THE MENTY SHUFFLE.)

MENTY: HEEEEEY!

(AUDIENCE CHEER. MENTY DOES AN ADDITONAL MENTY SHUFFLE.)

MENTY: MIIIIIIIINT!

(AUDIENCE CRY WITH JOY.)

MENTY: OKAY, GUYS, I HAVE TO GO AND DO SOMETHING COOL BECAUSE I'M ACTUALLY A REAL PERSON, BACK LATER.

(HE WALKS AWaY AS PEOPLE START CRYING. A DUCK WALKS ONTO STAGE WITH A CARD READING "FOUR WEEKS LATER" WRITTEN ON ITS SIDE. THEN MENTY COMES BACK OUT WEARING A HAT.)

MENTY: SUP GUYS, MY LIFE IS GREAT, I'VE GOT RESPONSIBILITIES NOW, CAN'T STAY HERE FOR LONG, ANYWAY, WHAT'S GOING DIZZOWN?

(AUDIENCE BOO.)

MENTY: THAT SEEMS A BIT UNFAIR.

(AUDIENCE BOO.)

MENTY: SERIOUSLY, GROW UP.

(ONE AUDIENCE MEMBER RUNS ON STAGE. IT'S ME, WACKY.)

WACKY: SORRY PLEASE LOVE ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

MENTY: DUDE, CHILL OUT.

WACKY: OH GOD I'VE WET MYSELF.

(AUDIENCE POINT AND LAUGH AT WACKY AS MENTY JUST KIND OF SHRUGS AND WALKS OFF STAGE.)

WACKY: STOP LAUGHING, STOP LAUGHINGGGGGGG!

(AUDIENCE THROW TRASH AT WACKY.)

WACKY: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, MENTY, YOU FUCKING FAULT. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

(WACKY BEGINS MASTRUBATING. AUDIENCE ARE STUNNED INTO SILENCE.)

WACKY: LOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

FIN

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

The MENTY SHUFFLE -- is that more like the Harlem Shuffle, the Curly Shuffle, the Super Bowl Shuffle, or the Truffle Shuffle?

 

[headvoid]

GOOD THREAD

 

[CaptainWacky]

MENTY WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE SAMANTHA BRICK SITUATION?

 

[CaptainWacky]

THAT ASIAN REPORTER ON THE ONE SHOW IS QUITE FIT.