Make up more lies about Tom Cruise thread

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

He hired an illegal Mexican boy to live in a doghouse in their bedroom, the boy's job is to "fluff" Tom before sex with Katie. When INS came sniffing around he said the boy "did landscaping".

 

[Big Dick McGee]

True Story: Cruise's poop once cured a young boy's cancer.

 

[Gagh]

He filmed all of 'War of the Worlds' standing on his head in Green Screen. It was digitally altered afterward to make it look like he was standing normally.

 

[Big Dick McGee]

Tom Cruise sweats Gatorade!

 

[Big Dick McGee]

I once saw Tom Cruise scissor kick Angela Landsbury.

 

[Gagh]

Tom Cruise has been known to piss in the soup at soup canteens.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

TOM CRUISE LOST A BET AND BILL BRASKY SAWED HIS HEAD OFF

 

[Big Dick McGee]

Tom Cruise did 3 tours in 'Nam...... I was in Corpus Christi on business a month ago. I had this eight foot tall Asian waiter, which made me curious. I asked him his name. Sure enough it's Ho Tran Cruise!

 

[Gagh]

Cruise played the man-killing rabbit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

 

[Big Dick McGee]

Tom Cruise killed Wolfman Jack with a trident!

 

[Big Dick McGee]

TOM CRUISE LOST A BET AND BILL BRASKY SAWED HIS HEAD OFF

Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

HIS POOP IS CURRENCY IN ARGENTINA!

 

[CaptainWacky]

He tickles homeless people whenever he encounters them (not often.)

 

[Loktar]

I am Tom Cruise

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

HE WAS THE INSPIRATION FOR EVA-1

 

[Gagh]

Cruise trebled up with Chyna & Waltman in a 'rolling in body chocolate' challenge. The celebrated afterwards by eating the antlers off The Barbarian's headwear.

 

[CaptainWacky]

He has a robot named SAMSON8 in his employ.

 

[Gagh]

He kept all of Penelope Cruz's tampons, and sculpted them into a life-sized model of the cast of The Land of the Giants.

 

[CaptainWacky]

He killed Nicole Kidman and replaced her with a changeling instructed to "make crappy movies like Bewitched" but his plan backfired when Bewitched turned out to be a delightful romp!

 

[Gagh]

Cruise breeds hedgehogs in his hair.