Mongo solves your problems!

[Mongo]

^that not question

 

[Sarek]

I want to spend time with Sarek in a full and loving relationship, but fear I may be rejected.

What is the best course of action to win his manly attention?

You'll be rejected. Barring of course should you survive being outright shot. Which would be unlikely because I never miss.

 

[Mongo]

you no listen to sarek, headvoid. You do as I say and you survive. That what Mongo would do.

 

[Tyrant]

Can mongo stretch like Longcat?

 

[Mongo]

Mongo think Longcat is cute. You have Longcat's number?

 

[Tyrant]

He's male.

 

[Mongo]

Mongo is bi

 

[Sarek]

^Kill yourself.

 

[Mongo]

no

 

[Mongo]

anyone except sarek have problem for Mongo to solve?

 

[Sarek]

Yes, me.

My problem is you. You must die.

 

[Elrod Jericoho]

How can I get Sarek to respect me?

 

[headvoid]

Dress up in a crotchless camouflage cat suit. I hear he loves that. But I'm sure Mongo has a better personality profile

 

[Mongo]

How can I get Sarek to respect me?

You no need to get respect from sarek because sarek is nobody. Mongo and others respect you well enough for who you are.

If you still desire respect from sarek, Mongo suggest you write posts supporting pussy Democrat party

 

[Tyrant]

Messenger thinks that Mongo is a bit out of Mongo's league at this Internet board, as it is fairly clear to everyone that Sarek has flustered Mongo to the point where Mongo betrays hints as to his main account, thereby narrowing the search for the uninspired, boring member which Mongo really is.

 

[Mongo]

^that not question

 

[Tyrant]

What's without question is that you are the most pathetic dual ever, and I'd rather you not post here with your primary account either.

 

[Mongo]

you have problem for Mongo?

 

[Tyrant]

How can something be 'best-loved,' you moronic timewaster? Are you this stupid with your primary?

 

[Sarek]

Yes. Mongo lives. Mongo must die.

Kill Mongo, MONGO!