my girlfriend

[classichummus]

No offense, but if you really knew what you were doing, the only phrase she should've uttered would be, "mmmmmm oh god! mmmmm yes!! I'm co..m...iiiiiiiiiiing!"

Not to brag, but I fingerbanged my ex so hard one time that she had this to say afterwards. "You can fuck me in any hole you want, but don't expect me to move a muscle. That was so good, I'm spent."

Well, that was not the point of the quote at all. Plus that was at the very very beginning of it. I also had very limited space to work with. She was still in her pants and thong. Next time I will try and fix that.

 

[Dual]

One time a chick told me she came so hard I knocked her into a time loop and she relived the moment half a dozen times.

True story.

 

[classichummus]

One time a chick told me she came so hard I knocked her into a time loop and she relived the moment half a dozen times.

True story.

Too bad it's not a true story. You've never felt nor seen a pussy.

 

[Dual]

Too bad it's not a true story. You've never felt nor seen a pussy.

Damn, you've got me there.

 

[Dual]

Sean: Sarcasm, learn it.

 

[classichummus]

Sean: Sarcasm, learn it.

however, I know you haven't been near a pussy, so I am right.

 

[Dual]

however, I know you haven't been near a pussy, so I am right.

Dude, my story was a joke.

 

[classichummus]

I know it was a joke. I'm not a complete dumbass. fuck off.

 

[The Dork Lord]

however, I know you haven't been near a pussy, so I am right.

Has he ever stood next to you? If so, HE WAS NEAR A PUSSY!

(sorry)