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Skyward Sword

When the technology isn’t bringing down the experience, the jaw-droppingly bad design decisions are. The Zelda series has always been known for its epic boss battles, and yet the first dungeon’s boss in Skyward Sword is essentially a Wiimote tutorial masquerading as a sparring match with the game’s homoerotic, androgynous main baddy. And I don’t mean homoerotic in a cutesy Tingle sort of way, I mean during one cut scene (movie-like cinematic) the primary villain of The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword embraces Link from behind, whispers closely into his ear, and then turns directly to the camera and oscillates his tongue suggestively. And it doesn’t stop there. The game is filled to the brim with one-note supporting characters, all ripped straight out of the worst episode of Pokemon imaginable. More than ever, the developers have infused an overpowering Japanese sense of humor that may amuse small children, but it absolutely devastates the game for anyone looking for the deep, meaningful experience the company falsely advertised on very rare occasions.
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65/100
 
SAUSAGEMAN, do you agree that the tech is bringing down the experience? I'm planning to go out and get the game today, MAYBE.
 
No, the game is gorgeous, the controls work great. It's fantastic! I was just posting that review because of the homophobia.
 
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LEGEND OF ZELDA SKYWARD SWORD, I HAS IT.

Now I just have to figure out how to use the Wii and I'M ALL SET. ALSO, I'm charging up the wii-motes and STUFF.
 
I played till 3am, which is THREE HOURS PAST MY BEDTIME. My fingers hurt, I think I was SQUEEZING the Wii.

I will give my non spoiler opinion thus far.

The game is beautiful, it's like a mixture of Wind Waker and Twilight Princess. The bokoblins look like real trolls and are much better than the WW bokoblins, but I don't remember what the TP ones looked like but I"m sure they are better in this game (I just played Wind Waker, so I'm inclined to compare this game to WW because I haven't played TP in ages). The deku babas are ferocious looking, and harder to kill, but not so bad that you can't DO IT. Getting used to the motionplus controls is the hardest part. I can't fly for SHIT, but I guess I'll get better as I play. Really my only criticism so far is that the game seems to be focused on the controls, but that might be because I'm in the first section of the game and they want you to practice everything until it becomes natural and then hopefully you'll feel like you're really in the game and not so much focused on the controllers. I hope that is the case! Anyway, it's fun so far, ALSO I must actually be better at games now than I was when Wind Waker (ww was my first video game in many years, like since Atari) came out because I know I don't have to hurry to get anywhere, all games have a sense of urgency built in, which always causes me to rush to the next section and then I miss shit and get frustrated. NOT THIS TIME MOFOS :rwmad:
 
Literally just started playing this. A wimpy kid literally asked me to cary a barrel for him, so I literally smashed it to make him cry.
 
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