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Smallville spoilers (any season)

Never mind fear being the bloody mind killer, how about curiosity.

Anyway:

29) Lex finds out about the felching and gets jealous. Lots of people run around a chemical factory so there can be shots of steam etc. Lex makes felching illegal by bribing the county court judge.

30) it gets really hot in smallville as a the freak of the week is a reggae singer who sings "feeling hot hot hot" Clark has to take his T-shirt off a lot.
 
Curiosity killed the cat
 
And satisfaction brought it back, bitches!!
 
And then killed it again
 
31) Zod invades Chloe's body, and she orders Clark to kneel before her, where he gives her the best oral sex she's ever had in her life, and just at that moment, Lex walks in. Jealous of Clark's love for Chloe, he drinks a potion that turns him straight.
 
32) MC Hammer is accidently transported into Smallville and takes out Clark with a flying kick to the balls. He breaks every bone in his body, but his AWESOME RAP SKILLS destroy Clark's moral FOREVER.
 
33) Clark starts to date a new girl with the ability to murder cats BUT THEN SOME CATS DIE. But Lex did it. He was drunk.

34) Lex beats Clark's new girl to death. Lionel takes photos and sends them to Martha who EATS the photos (she's drunk!) Clark and Lana kiss on the arms.
 
35) Jayson shows up, but his brain is effected by Kryptonite and he spends the rest of the episode trailing Lana around asking if she'd be buried in a glass coffin, what sort of toilet roll she uses, and what she does with her toenail clippings.

36) Starguard posts on THE WALL OF WEIRD with his own sperm in a pussified manner.
 
37 - Martha is pregnant by is KRYPTO THE SUPERDOG the father!? Lana and Clark go for a picnic but he forgets the blankets and they break up.

38 - Martha has an abortion performed by LIONEL. Lana and Clark get back together but she's actually an evil cyborg sent to replace the real Lana who has been buried in a glass coffin by Jayson remeber.
 
39) Lionel eats a piece of CJD infected beef, and after frothing at the mouth for a while spends millions od Luthercorp dollars in a futile attempt to make RVD post in his own cheap ripped-off version of The Mine Field.

40) Lex has his legs replaced with two small trampolines he purchased from a Nigerian from eBay in order to fool Lana to bounce off them. Clark, who has undergone the same transformation as part of his new Kryptonite Powers and was hoping for Lana to do the same things, sees Lana squealing with delight bouncing on Lex's leg-trampolines. He goes to the Kent-family farm barn to sulk for the rest of the episode.

41) Kane arrives at Smallville, and after coating everyone with processed cheese while they sleep, he spraypaints Katy Vick's name on the side of the school, and forces everyone to watch his shitty movie. Clark turns out to be highly vulnerable to Kane's powers because they are 'Magic' and he is hurt by 'Magic'.

42) Upon hearing Clark is harmed by Magic, Paul Daniels arrives in Smallville wearing nothing but a tight brown leather nappy. Using his magic skills, he makes Clark bald for a day, making him realise how hard Lex's life is. The two make up, and Clark's hair grows back, because he read the script about what his moral lesson for the episode should be.
 
43) Anna Paquin guest stars as Chloe's lesbian friend Anna but Clark remembers that Chloe isn't a lesbian and there's never been a gay character in Smallville anyway so he beats Anna until she admits the truth: the whole episode has all been a dream! Clark wakes up with a start and talks to Lana for 15 minutes.

44) Clark can't remember if his previous conversation with Lana was a dream or not but before he can ask her Lois jumps into the Niagra Falls to see if he has superpowers. So he lets her die.
 
45) Lionel asks Martha to trim his beard for dollars, but Martha is having none of it. She offers to secure the posting services of RVD for one day in order to halt the beard trimming, but Lionel isn't interested - he's turned control of the Luthercorp Mine Field over to Chloe, who has now mutated into an 8 foot demon. Lionel forces her beard on Martha, before Jonathan Kent comes in and beats Lionel into a coma with Pete's metal foot.

46) Lex comes to the Talon in order to get pissed and throw beermats drunkenly across the dance floor. Lana talks him out of it by giving examples of Buffy episodes. Sadly, Kryptonite has got into the beer episode, and the rest of the episode degenerates into an even poorer version of Beer Bad.

47) Clark makes a new friend, but he turns out to be a defrosted Nazi from World War II. Clark is unsure what to do, as the Nazi hasn't gassed a single Jew since arriving in town. Clark confronts the Nazi, who repeatedly asks Clark for his papers. The Nazi becomes suspicious that Clark isn't passing his papers over, alluding to the fact that he knows Clark's origin without actually saying it. Clark, helpess, decides to freeze the Nazi with his super breath. Chole finds the Nazi hidden in a barn, and sucks its cock, thawing it, before leaving. The cock speaks before the episode end, as it has been effected by Kryptonite, and sets up a new enemy for Clark in the next season.

48) Lois becomes disturbed over realising that she is only a marginally attractive woman with a battered old face, after reading months of Internet hype leading up to her first appearance in Smallville. Using hundreds of dual accounts, she hires Chloe, and with her leads a cynical 'LOIS IS HOT!' campaign on a Smallville Posting Board. Clark finds out, and wanks in Lois' face, confusing her and forcing her to out her own duals.
 
49) A drunken Pete returns to Smallville. Bitter that nobody really gives a shit he starts telling everyone about the time Clark's super ejaculate blew up old Mr McGregor's cabbages. His attention seeking efforts backfire as Chloe releases the latest copy of The Torch "EXTRA: CLARK KENT IN CUM CALAMITY - Pete Ross's head found to be deflated football". Incensed, Pete attacks Clark with his METAL FEET, but is quickly killed. Inconsolable, Clark turns up at Lex's mansion just as Lionel and son are sucking the last of their sperm from Lana's backside. Lex tells Clark to fuck off, and that he'll PULL SOME STRINGS so that no one notices the ONLY black person in town has mysteriously disappeared. James Blunt's "Beautiful" plays as Clark cries alone in his barn, even though the song has nothing to do with what's going on. Finally, Johnathan turns up and tells Clark that even though he had nothing to do with Clark's magnificent cum, he's proud of him, and he'll always stand by him. As usual, they hug or something.
 
50) Clark says "fuck all this shit" and does all his superhero stuff out in the open in front of Lois and Lana, they are so impressed they have lesbian sex while he wanks his jizz into orbit.

Lex vows to stop Clark, but Lionel kills him with a nine iron, as he smashes his skull, he says "hows that for a hole in one?" before hes attacked by gremlins left over from gremlins 2.

Martha asks how the wife of a senitor can take over his role on his death, and surely that cant be a real law, but Chloe distracts her with some lesbian head.

General Zod destroys the barn, the talon, and Pigsy from the old 70s chinese series Monkey.

Then the international space station crashes onto smallville after gaining too much wait from Clarks jizz.

Clark runs around the world fast enough to reset time for a day, and nothing that happened, really happened
 
Martha eats a dog.
 
Fuddlemiff said:
I saw Sunday's Smallville earlier, so the stupid song thing was fresh in my mind. Also, they stole all the snazzy effects from the end of Terminator 3 when Lex is seeing his nightmare vision of nukes killing everyone.

Smallville: http://youtube.com/watch?v=xLBrgVqMrgo
T3: http://youtube.com/watch?v=KY8iDeCi4qs

OMGS!

OMFG! Smallville ripped off Terminator 3!
 
Or used the same effects shot.
 
I suppose
 
52) In a spectacular season finale, WHEELCHAIR SUPERMAN'S GHOST returns and kills everyone. Luckily they had all been knocked unconscious at the time and don't realise what happened when they wake up.

It's later explained that Lex has FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES and was able to pay GOD to resurrect them. Clark agrees not to tell anyone because he knows what it's like to hold a secret and because Lex is his friend. Later, he tells CHLOE THE MOTORMOUTH, for no particular reason.
 
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