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Smallville spoilers (any season)

53) Lex turns emo, dresses in black tunics and sighs a lot. Clark feels bad and gives Lex his eyelashes. Margot Kidder guest stars as an actress who got lost on her way to a Northern Exposure audition.

54) Clark attends the local tryouts for Fear Factor and accidentally snaps Joe Rogan in half, who instantly orgasms before dying. Lana marries a pogo stick in Vegas.
 
55 Lois gets into trouble, Clark rushes in to save her but gets weakened by kyrptonite, in his weakend state, the freak of the week cuts off Clarks cock and runs off with it, Lois moves the krptonite away and Clark recovers and regenerates his missing cock.

He chases after the bad guy, and kills him, but the cock is gone, he sits in his barn as the sun sets wondering what this means as some hip music that will isntantly be dated plays.

Meanwhile in a lab, Lex watches in awe as Clarks cock starts to regenerate his very own Clark clone, fade to black and cue credits
 
bump everyone should read this bump
 
I want to buy the box set of this series.
 
So far it's up to season 3
 
The Clark Cock Clone escapes from the lab and falls in love with Lana. Clark writes Lana a letter but some nerdy girl gets it so he smashes her glasses before she can read it. Lana's new boyfriend is good.

NEXT WEEK. Lana's new boyfriend is really evil. The Clark Cock Clone kills him and eats his bones. Lex tries to run over the Clark Cock Clone but Martha shoots him in the brain because she thinks it's the real Clark. Lionel is watching Martha from an airship.
 
57) In a special episode to commemorate 57 amazing episodes of original and non-formulaic scifi action, a new kid comes to Smallville High with amazing meteor rock-induced powers. He uses his amazing special abilities to make the entire cast dance showtunes in which they confess their darkest secrets to one another. All except for Chloe(the lesbian who always finds out stuff on the internet) who only has three lines. Martha admits she never loved Jonthan, but maried him for the sex know that they wouldn't have any kids. Now he keeps having heart attacks, so Martha's having an affair with a nameless local billionaire who will remain nameless. Meanwhile, Clark tells Lana she looked really fit in that episode when she was nekkid in the swimming pool, and Lana tells Clark he looked really fit in that episode when he jumped off that pier naked.

Pete briefly returns from the dead to harrass clark about his cloned cock, but nobody notices.
 
Lex bumps this thread.
 
Clark storms into Lex's office and accuses him of bumping thread, and Lex denies it, Clark says whatever and superspeeds off.
 
Clark discovers internet porn and proceeds to jerk off to pix of the dawson's creek cast. Smallville is destroyed while he wastes time spanking it.
 
Clark's super sperm flies off into outer space, through a black hole and travels back in time and impregnates Eva Braun, creating a true race of Supermen.
 
Finally in the season finally, Clark gets to fight the evil Clark cock clone.

Can Clark beat his own cock, or will the cock by the one to overcome?
 
Clark and the Cock Clone are merged into one entity by Chloe for some reason. Is she evil now!? No, she was drunk. The Clark Cock Clark Clone eats a big hamburger with a menacing look on his face and calls Lana a "silly bint".
 
In a "comedic interlude" the Clark Cock Clark Clone approaches each of the main characters and begins conversations before suddenly disappearing when they're not looking, leaving the townsfolk with a series of bemused expressions.

Then Angel comes to town and sucks Clark Cock Clark Clone's blood because nobody messes with Angels "sudden vanishing" act. Finally, Clark's Cloned Cock is sired as it and Angel share bodily fluids(cut from Channel 4 broadcast).

Clark arrives and tosses his cock out the window, into the burning Kansas sun, where it burns. Or does it? Yes it does.
 
Lex has been watching this whole thing behind his cloak of invisibility, but Lionel erases his memory AGAIN with a well placed kick to the side of the head. Lionel then takes a pill, BUT WHY AND WHAT WAS THE PILL!? Chloe has a crush on a new boy and he ISN'T a krypto freak...but he is killed by a krypto freak later that episode. One Lois just had wild unprotected sex with (cut from every broadcast.)
 
Lana is found dead at the Talon. At first it's suspected that someone who can turn into water drowned her, or that someone who can move really fast bumped into her or something. Upon further inspection at Lana's private room at the hospital, it's revealed that she died from multiple strikes to the head over several years. Jayson and Boone are arrested. Meanwhile, Lex pulls some strings again and arranges for Lana to be alive again. Martha and Lionel look after the Talon while Lana's on the mend, to hilarious results.
 
Martha wonders why Lana was running a coffee shop aged 14 or whatever she was supposed to be in the first season anyway. Lionel drugs her coffee WITH THE SAME PILLS I MENTIONED EARLIER WHAT COULD THEY MEAN. Lana falls in love with a hospital orderly so Lex has his hands broken ("so he can't touch my girl!") Clarke and Chloe stroke horses in a field for some reason.
 
Clark's psycho stalker released from the batshit insane asylum. he immediately falls in love with her and wisks her off to las vegas for a sham marriage. meanwhile, chloe and lana are having a discussion about it. chloe did it over the summer holidays like normal sluts her age, but lana, who's actually hot, somehow still hasn't done it even though she's forty and is going out with jensen ackles the super hotty. lana is a moron. a fucking stupid moron.

meanwhile, clark's marriage wasn't really legal, so it doesn't count. lionel is living with lex. martha's scowling and looking concerned. lana is with jason. lois isn't there for some reason. the psycho went away to farm llamas or something.

everything is exactly the same as it was at the beginning of the season
 
ALL OF THAT REALLY HAPPENEd.

Jensen Ackles is hot.
 
I hate myself cos I want to know what the pills are.
 
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