CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Data liked magic tricks.
The YOUNG APPRENTICE starts TOMORROW
- Thread starter CaptainWacky
- Start date
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- apprentice starts tomorrow
Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
Yeah, Zara's not so bad after all. Even a potential winner. She just has a slight air of superiority that I didn't like at first, but she's almost good enough to back it up.
Lewis... nice kid, but WAY too immature. He's gonna be so embarrassed watching this in a few years, but seems like the kind of person who'd bounce back.
Posh Harry is undeniably good at selling stuff... I almost wouldn't mind seeing him win actually. But does he really deserve, at the age of 16, to be the Apprentice winner AND have more chest hair than all his friends put together? Doesn't seem fair to the others somehow.
Maybe they should've picked the pillows AND the pie makers. Just because everyone always picks a high and low end product in these tasks doesn't mean it's the only way to win.
Lewis... nice kid, but WAY too immature. He's gonna be so embarrassed watching this in a few years, but seems like the kind of person who'd bounce back.
Posh Harry is undeniably good at selling stuff... I almost wouldn't mind seeing him win actually. But does he really deserve, at the age of 16, to be the Apprentice winner AND have more chest hair than all his friends put together? Doesn't seem fair to the others somehow.
Maybe they should've picked the pillows AND the pie makers. Just because everyone always picks a high and low end product in these tasks doesn't mean it's the only way to win.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
I was there was a comedy twitter account like RHYS THE BOSSER last year.
Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
Nick Hewer's the new Countdown host!
The Guardian on Facebook | Facebook
Cue Nick Hewer grimaces all round.
The Guardian on Facebook | Facebook
Cue Nick Hewer grimaces all round.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Yeah, I heard about that. Seems a bit odd, I can't imagine him doing the cheeky comedy banter with Rachel and the Dictionary Woman. Maybe he'll do it all with gurning?
Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
On 'Yer Foired, So Ye Are' he seems to at least have a sense of humour, but he's still pretty quiet. I'll definitely be tuning in to see how this turns out.
The Tomtrek
Love Wookiee
There should be a moment in each show where he looks at Rachel Riley's bum and makes one of his faces.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Someone needs to photoshop Margaret's head onto Rachel's body, IF THEY HAVEN'T ALREADY.
The Tomtrek
Love Wookiee
Bullshit.
Pure
Absolute
100%
Bullshit.
I'm sorry but there's not a single human being on the planet who wouldn't have fired Harry M.
What the fuck, Lord Sugar? I had a whole bunch of other stuff I wanted to say but there's really no point now as Lord Sugar clearly isn't actually basing who stays and who goes on, y'know, who' actually good or not.
Pure
Absolute
100%
Bullshit.
I'm sorry but there's not a single human being on the planet who wouldn't have fired Harry M.
What the fuck, Lord Sugar? I had a whole bunch of other stuff I wanted to say but there's really no point now as Lord Sugar clearly isn't actually basing who stays and who goes on, y'know, who' actually good or not.
The Tomtrek
Love Wookiee
DOUBLE POST BUT SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK
Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
Mmm, he obviously fired Gbemi gbased on previous weeks, which is a shame since I don't think she ever got a proper chance to shine. I'm not saying she ever would've been a contender, but compared to Evil Harry she deserved to at least stay another week and make an attempt.
Must admit Captain Vanilla's growing on me. He still sounds utterly miserable, but when it comes to business acumen and shrewdness (Lord Alan's first and second favourite -nesses) he a winner already.
Must admit Captain Vanilla's growing on me. He still sounds utterly miserable, but when it comes to business acumen and shrewdness (Lord Alan's first and second favourite -nesses) he a winner already.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
WACKY'S APPRENTICE REPORT CARD
Zara: She was a good Project Manager, handled her team well, thought things through, stayed calm, didn't make any stupid mistakes. Contender to win. Good looking for her age too!
Harry H: He did a good job on the presentation. Still one of the strongest.
Haya: Seems pretty good.
Hayley: Bit whiney, isn't she? She was complaining that Zara didn't listen to her, but really it looked like Zara considered the things she said and just didn't agree with them. Will be out soon.
Harry M: Yeah, he was bad. No one likes him, he's been on the losing team every week...there really wasn't any reason not to fire him other than him making good tv.
Gbemi: Overall she hasn't been as good as Harry M, but she wasn't any worse than him this week and he really did give crap vague instructions about designing the bottle. Probably shouldn't have gone. But she was always a bit miserable looking.
James: He does seem to be able to feel the way the wind is blowing and switch blame in a way that he thinks will please Lord Sugar. But he's one of the most intelligent canidates.
Lizzie: She did well on the presentation.
Zara: She was a good Project Manager, handled her team well, thought things through, stayed calm, didn't make any stupid mistakes. Contender to win. Good looking for her age too!
Harry H: He did a good job on the presentation. Still one of the strongest.
Haya: Seems pretty good.
Hayley: Bit whiney, isn't she? She was complaining that Zara didn't listen to her, but really it looked like Zara considered the things she said and just didn't agree with them. Will be out soon.
Harry M: Yeah, he was bad. No one likes him, he's been on the losing team every week...there really wasn't any reason not to fire him other than him making good tv.
Gbemi: Overall she hasn't been as good as Harry M, but she wasn't any worse than him this week and he really did give crap vague instructions about designing the bottle. Probably shouldn't have gone. But she was always a bit miserable looking.
James: He does seem to be able to feel the way the wind is blowing and switch blame in a way that he thinks will please Lord Sugar. But he's one of the most intelligent canidates.
Lizzie: She did well on the presentation.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
HEY, just found out something cool: the "geeky" girl dancing in the advert was Emily Parr from Big Brother 8! She managed not to say "cupcakeer" for the entire episode!
Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
Woah, that's random. And Emily Parr was quite hot before she became a racist!
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
It's lucky Gbemi wasn't directing the advert...
(She wasn't actually racist, just stupid, and she had a nice bum!)
(She wasn't actually racist, just stupid, and she had a nice bum!)
Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
Maybe Gbemi could've shouted "yeah, you work it honky!"
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
I can't find the "Emily Parr: GHOST SEX" video on YouTube anymore. 
The Tomtrek
Love Wookiee
Lovely Hayley gets fired while literally evil Harry M stays.
The world is a horrible place and everyone in it who isn't Michelle Trachtenberg should die.
The world is a horrible place and everyone in it who isn't Michelle Trachtenberg should die.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
EVERYONE?
WACKY'S APPRENTICE REPORT CARD
Hayley: She was nice and polite and had nice eyebrows, but it wasn't a shock she was fired. I can't remember her actually doing anything impressive all series. But nice girl!
Lizzie: I thought she was doing quite well as Project Manager since at least they did research first, but it turns out she made lots of mistakes. Still one of the strongest ones. I won't mention pale breasts.
Zara: Not a good episode for her. I guess she was trying to take credit for the thing (but she did think of the dictionary!) Made some mistakes. But she's been a lot stronger than Hayley over all so I'm not surprised she stayed.
Harry M: Bit weird that Lizzie didn't bring him back. Seemed like the obvious thing to do. He's lost six times and even if he's quite good at some things he sucks at working with other people and should have been fired.
Haya: When they said "oh you're from London you should be PM" I thought her team would lose and she'd be fired because that always seems to happen in these tasks. And it never seems fair that just because someone's from London they're expected to know every shop in the city. But turns out her team won anyway so never mind!
Harry H: How come he bought all them balloons but later we saw the other half of his team with loads of balloons? FUCKING CONTINUITY.
James: OMG that face he did when he found out Zara paid so much for the watch. He could be used as a template for a Star Wars villain in Clone Wars. But yeah, he's quite bright and usually makes sense.
So four get fired next week? How does that work with two teams of three?
PREDICTION: Harry H and Lizzie will be the finalists.
WACKY'S APPRENTICE REPORT CARD
Hayley: She was nice and polite and had nice eyebrows, but it wasn't a shock she was fired. I can't remember her actually doing anything impressive all series. But nice girl!
Lizzie: I thought she was doing quite well as Project Manager since at least they did research first, but it turns out she made lots of mistakes. Still one of the strongest ones. I won't mention pale breasts.
Zara: Not a good episode for her. I guess she was trying to take credit for the thing (but she did think of the dictionary!) Made some mistakes. But she's been a lot stronger than Hayley over all so I'm not surprised she stayed.
Harry M: Bit weird that Lizzie didn't bring him back. Seemed like the obvious thing to do. He's lost six times and even if he's quite good at some things he sucks at working with other people and should have been fired.
Haya: When they said "oh you're from London you should be PM" I thought her team would lose and she'd be fired because that always seems to happen in these tasks. And it never seems fair that just because someone's from London they're expected to know every shop in the city. But turns out her team won anyway so never mind!
Harry H: How come he bought all them balloons but later we saw the other half of his team with loads of balloons? FUCKING CONTINUITY.
James: OMG that face he did when he found out Zara paid so much for the watch. He could be used as a template for a Star Wars villain in Clone Wars. But yeah, he's quite bright and usually makes sense.
So four get fired next week? How does that work with two teams of three?
PREDICTION: Harry H and Lizzie will be the finalists.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
WACKY'S APPRENTICE REPORT CARD
Harry H: Oh Harry H. I actually agreed with Harry M that his concept wasn't good enough to win (though not with Smoochies being better, obviously.) His pitch was pretty patchy. Still, he was a strong candidate and probably would have been a credible finalist if his team had won (they all would have been, really.)
Harry M: And so he's finally fired after losing every week. Smoochies. He had some good points at times.
Lizzie: Poor Lizzie never normally would have been fired like this. I believe the pitch she did was the one that got her team the biggest order. She was just unlucky to be with the losers. But that's what happens when you need to fire four one week before the final. Maybe they should have planned the firings out better?
Haya: She seemed like the obvious choice to fire as she wasn't as forceful and memorable as James and Zara. But, really, it's pretty stupid that someone on the winning team got fired.
James: See, told you he was good. Wouldn't even mind if he won.
Zara: I didn't recognise her at the start when she had her hair down, playing with the others like a real girl and not a professional business robot. She was very strong on this task and deserves to be in the final. Maybe she'll win!
Harry H: Oh Harry H. I actually agreed with Harry M that his concept wasn't good enough to win (though not with Smoochies being better, obviously.) His pitch was pretty patchy. Still, he was a strong candidate and probably would have been a credible finalist if his team had won (they all would have been, really.)
Harry M: And so he's finally fired after losing every week. Smoochies. He had some good points at times.
Lizzie: Poor Lizzie never normally would have been fired like this. I believe the pitch she did was the one that got her team the biggest order. She was just unlucky to be with the losers. But that's what happens when you need to fire four one week before the final. Maybe they should have planned the firings out better?
Haya: She seemed like the obvious choice to fire as she wasn't as forceful and memorable as James and Zara. But, really, it's pretty stupid that someone on the winning team got fired.
James: See, told you he was good. Wouldn't even mind if he won.
Zara: I didn't recognise her at the start when she had her hair down, playing with the others like a real girl and not a professional business robot. She was very strong on this task and deserves to be in the final. Maybe she'll win!