Top Tens For 2011

[CaptainWacky]

I'm always debating ending my top tens since I don't even know what it is I'm really basing the rankings on anymore, but you can't just end an autistic obsession. It is an ever-evolving and completely arbritrary list based on how I feel at the exact time I write it and nothing more. Don't try to argue with my rankings because it's my opinion and I'm not going to change for anyone. Compiled, as always, by Team Wacky.

#1

1) Mary Elizabeth Winstead - I really like her eyes and cheekbones and legs and she actually seems like a really nice person, which helps a lot.
2) Natalie Portman - I'm not going to let a little thing like pregnancy get in the way.
3) Imogen Poots - I have a feeling that 2011 is going to be a big year for the Pootsinator. And also for young actress Imogen Poots.
4) Rose Byrne - She has legs.
5) Eva Green - She has breasts.
6) Jessica Paré - She is an attractive CANADIAN.
7) María Valverde - She is an attractive SPANISH PERSON.
8) Scarlett Johansson - One of the very best Jews.
9) Magda Apanowicz - She wears elephant hats.
10) Deborah Ann Woll - The next big thing?
11) Jessica Biel - Deserves more hotness recognition.
12) Morena Baccarin - She has a really unconvincing tail!
13) Cailtin Stasey - UNDERRATED.
14) Olivia Wilde - How are her cheekbones even humanly possible?
15) Lizzy Caplan - She is nice.
16) Kristen Bell - She's cute.
17) Kat Dennings - I don't just want to type "big breasts" everytime I include her, but...
18) Avril Lavigne - Oh Avril.
19) Laura Vandervoort - And her bra.
20) Ellen Page - Cute as a kitten.

 

[Tisiphone]

Keep up the good obsessive work!

 

[The Tomtrek]

This is not the way to start the year.

 

[CaptainWacky]

OH WELL.

 

[headvoid]

Laura Vandervoort appearing means that Wacky obviously is still an avid fan of smallville. He comes on all "ironic" but secretly hE LOVES IT!

 

[CaptainWacky]

She's in V now.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Here's another list to complain about!

http://forums.superiorpics.com/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/3026038/gonew/1#UNREAD

Emma is a bit overrated on SP. At least Natalie was high (11) and yes Michelle made it (31, NOT BAD CONSIDERING?) and Mary (58, but way below Keira Knightley, eww) and even Kat Dennings (94)!

BUT STILL WRONG.

 

[CaptainWacky]

#2

1) Mary Elizabeth Winstead - She might not be physically perfect or anything (but then, literally no one is if you look at them long enough), but imprerfections add character and can, somehow, reflect a deeper perfection. She is still the girl I've though most about in the last week and she just has something about her which interests me, which captivated me, which inspired me to consume all available media on her from the internet. While she will no doubt drop down the list soon as she is not the typical HOLLYWOOD WHORE who is photographed all the time and shows up at the opening of an envelope (and she only has one movie coming out and it'll probably be shit) I am undeniably attracted to the very essence of her being, to her soul if you will. And ultimately isn't this list about asking myself every Thursday what I find attractive in females and ranking accordingly? There's no reason to over-complicate this. I'd kiss her.

2) Natalie Portman - Natalie is an idea made flesh, she has transcended from years worth of obsessive writing and rankings to become a meme for the mainstream, a vision of loveliness and talent who enriches the entire world with her presence. Her pregnancy has only added to her legend, she glows like no one has before, for she is not simply giving birth to a child. No, in her is the collective hopes and dreams of the entire human race who want her to give birth to a better world. We shall look to her seed for guidance. We shall look to it for hope. Plus her tits have gotten bigger.

3) Rachel Riley - I'm glad that I live in a world where Countdown clips are posted online, not for any love of the game but so that the world can admire Rachel's lovely bottom.
4) Eva Green - She is some primal force of womanhood.
5) Morena Baccarin - Her neck is long.
6) Eliza Doolittle - She is an attractive young pop singer.
7) Olivia Wilde - She's pretty fucking hot, really.
8) Scarlett Johansson - She is lovely.
9) Gemma Arterton - I watched the awful Clash Of The Titans and she looked nice and pale.
10) Imogen Poots - She is a talented young English actress and there aren't enough interviews with her on YouTube.
11) Rose Byrne - JACKIE Q.
12) Blake Lively - She does have good breasts.
13) Summer Glau - She looked better in the second episode.
14) Jessica Biel - Why not?
15) Taylor Momsen - I don't throw the phrase "sex positive hero" around lightly...
16) Michelle Trachtenberg - She still has a nice nose.
17) Margot Robbie - Good breasts.
18) Evan Rachel Wood
19) Ellen Page
20) Emma Roberts - Cute.

 

[Tisiphone]

Wow. That's the most explanation I've seen on one of your girls in a long time.

 

[The Tomtrek]

Yeah go on then.

 

[CaptainWacky]

The timeline has been reset.

 

[CaptainWacky]

#3

1) Anne Hathaway - She has arrived. After years on the list she has finally ascended, like Hercules raised to divinity on Mount Olypmus by father Zeus, I have plucked her from the rest of the pack, raising her to the level of a number one rated girl. It is significant.

2) Natalie Portman - Her laugh must be what angels sound like. When they laugh.
3) Mary Elizabeth Winstead - She is a person with the kind of warmth that makes me want to hug her tight and cry all over her, while she looks confused but tries to comfort me by patting me on the back and telling me it'll all be okay, and shaking her head at her burly minder when he suggests brutalising me.
4) Michelle Trachtenberg - I am not back to being obsessed with Michelle like in the Mercy days, but only a fool would deny that it would be a transcendant experience to touch her soft, milky skin.
5) Alison Brie - She has great tits.
6) Eva Green - She's so french.
7) Summer Glau - A welcome return to form.
8) Gemma Arterton - She's so fucking pale.
9) Blake Lively - I think she's hot sorry.
10) Rachel Riley
11) Amber Benson - I think I've underrated her over the years and it must stop even though she's not actually in anything now.
12) Morena Baccarin
13) Imogen Poots - The voices in my head are telling me to include her ever week or I'll regret it eventually...
14) Scarlett Johansson - Did not like her Golden Globe dress but she's still nice.
15) Laura Vandervoort - She's nice.
16) January Jones - Breasts, okay? Breasts.
17) Rekha Sharma - She always has disturbing death scenes (well, twice.)
18) Rose Byrne - I hope she has a ridiculously over the top accent as Moira McTaggart.
19) Ashleigh Brewer - Good face.
20) Mila Kunis - Mila "Sweetlips" Kunis according to Natalie!

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Last week's commentary on Natalie Portman was the most poetic thing I've ever read.

 

[The Tomtrek]

All is well.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Let's not go nuts.

 

[headvoid]

I sense a great move towards the poetic in recent lists. I think we should call this the "erudite period"

 

[Big Dick McGee]

Woudl Sarah Shahi rank anywhere on your list?

 

[headvoid]

She seems to have got her thumb caught in her pants. I would suggest she needs to be more careful, she can hardly see where she is going due to her fringe.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Suggestions should be posted in the "Suggest girls for the weekly top tens" thread.

 

[Big Dick McGee]

will do.