Top Tens for 2013

[CaptainWacky]

The road goes ever on.

There's no point attempting to explain these rankings, as I don't fully understand them myself. It's not a "hotness ranking" and I'm not "judging" these girls. It's more just a measure of what's going on in my brain every week. If anything, I'm the one being judged. For some reason I've developed an interest in recording which female celebrities I'm finding attractive (based on various factors) every week. There's no point arguing with the rankings as they are based on MY BRAIN and I know what my brain is thinking.

SO, let us begin, a new year AND A NEW BEGINNING!?

#1

1) Anna Kendrick - She has arrived just in time for 2013! She's adorkable. And small.
2) Cobie Smulders - She's got a really really really really good face. Like, really.
3) Emma Stone - Just has something about her that I like. I don't need to give longer explanations than that.
4) Anne Hathaway - Could she be the new Natalie Portman!? (No, Natalie will be back some day.)
5) Keira Knightley - 2012 was the year Keira shockingly returned to my affections in a big way. Can she keep it up in 2013!?
6) Kat Dennings - Could 2013 be "the year of Kat"?
7) Mary Elizabeth Winstead - ...or will it be a "MEW" year (like "new year" but with her initials.)
8) Ellie Goulding - Attractive English singing girl.
9) Mila Kunis - It turns out the reason a lot of people think she's hot is because she is.
10) Gillian Jacobs - I would marry her. This isn't meant to sound like a threat.
11) Lizzy Caplan - I hope we see more of Lizzy Caplan in 2013.
12) Olivia Wilde - I like her.
13) Katie McGrath - 2013 will be the first year ever with no Merlin (well, apart from all those years before it started, but who remembers that far back?)
14) Marina Diamandis - Yep, another singing lady. "Sorry."
15) Emilia Clarke - Her face had a good 2012.
16) Jenna-Louise Coleman - Her probably is that she's in an episode of Doctor Who, then not seen for four months, then in another episode then not seen for another four months. But she's good.
17) Amanda Seyfried - I like her.
18) Charlize Theron - She's better with hair.
19) Emma Watson - I like her, sorry.
20) Kate Beckinsale - It's still less than a year since I started liking her.

There's also a female celebrity of the day tumblr run by someone but I'm not sure who.

 

[headvoid]

Cobie Smulders is a fine addition to a list that makes a mockery of the British honor system.

 

[Tisiphone]

Highly approve of the first official list for 2013.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Thank you both for your continued support.

 

[SAUSAGEMAN]

So I just did a quick search. Can it be that Alia Shawkat has never been on the top ten?

(the spots go all the way down)

 

[CaptainWacky]

I don't know what she looks like these days...will see when Arrested Development returns I suppose.

 

[CaptainWacky]

#2

1) Liv Tyler - FIRST EVER number one ranking! And it's overdue.
2) Anna Kendrick - This year's girl.
3) Gillian Jacobs - It is becoming increasingly obvious that Gillian Jacobs is one of the best people ever.
4) Cobie Smulders - She's facetastic.
5) Gemma Arterton - Curvy English woman!
6) Kat Dennings - I don't think she's ever going to be far from the top again.
7) Dreama Walker - She walks in dreams.
8) Emma Stone - She can "announce" my "Academy Awards" any time she likes.
9) Anne Hathaway - I like her face.
10) Natalie Portman - Guess who's back. Back again. NATALIE'S BACK. Tell a friend.
11) Olivia Wilde - She is sexy.
12) Rachel Riley - Has a brain.
13) Keira Knightley - I like her.
14) Anna Popplewell - She popples well.
15) Willa Holland - Good face.
16) Mary Elizabeth Winstead - She "wins" "stead" (I don't know.)
17) Lacey Banghard - This really should not come as a surprise.
18) Laura Vandervoort - Underrated!?
19) Alice Levine - Pale.
20) Michelle Trachtenberg - There's still good in her. I can feel it.

 

[SAUSAGEMAN]

I know it's difficult to see where Michelle can go from here, now that the best role she'll ever have in her lifetime has wrapped up, but she can't be written off!

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

We can only hope for a Eurotrip sequel.

 

[headvoid]

I have now seen pictures of Ashley Benson and have many questions.

 

[curiousa2z]

WHY IS THIS A THREAD OF LIES CAPTAIN WACKY?
I see top TWENTIES- NOT "Top Tens"!


*more in sorrow than anger* .....and you with four stars.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

It is Linear. Confrontational. Aggressive.

 

[The Tomtrek]

We have yet to see the heights Michelle Trachtenberg's life will reach.

 

[SAUSAGEMAN]

I have now seen pictures of Ashley Benson and have many questions.

If the question is "should I watch Pretty Little Liars?", the answer is yes.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

It's true that Emilia (or Millie, as some of us know her) Clarke's face had an exceptional 2012, but I'm hoping to see a continuation around the April/May/June period this year.

 

[CaptainWacky]

It's called "top tens" because in theory it will go back to being an actual top ten someday. Even though it's been a top twenty for the last four years.

I have not encountered Ashley Benson yet but will keep her in mind.

 

[curiousa2z]

you are nothing if not fair, fair sir.

 

[CaptainWacky]

#3

1) Gillian Jacobs - You know what? It's Gillian Jacobs this week. No one else has her face.
2) Dreama Walker - It's a "cute girls wth expressive faces from sit-coms" special!
3) Anna Kendrick - The new hotness.
4) Liv Tyler - I like Liv Tyler now (still.)
5) Kate Beckinsale - I can feel the Beckinsale Obsession stirring again...
6) Mary Elizabeth Winstead - She is one of my favourites.
7) Anna Popplewell - Nobody popples better.
8) Anna Chlumsky - She's appealing.
9) Kat Dennings - She's abreasting (I don't know.)
10) Natalie Portman - She's still the man. The PORTman.
11) Amanda Seyfried - The owner of some hair.
12) Anne Hathaway - She's ANNEttractive.
13) Jennifer Lawrence - Has a great body.
14) Tricia Helfer - Remember her.
15) Liza Lapira - She's got dudes coming out of her ears. First ever ranking!
16) Emilia Clarke - Good face.
17) Alice Levine - Good skin.
18) Rooney Mara - Good face and skin.
19) Victoria Coren - I like her.
20) Michelle Trachtenberg - Go on then.

 

[CaptainWacky]

WHY did I forget Marion Cotillard argh.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Top TWENTY FIVE special due to brain reasons and to celebrate the coming of THE WACKY HOT ONE HUNDRED VERSION TEN in TEN DAYS.

#4

1) Gemma Arterton - She's so underrated. AND CURVY.
2) Kat Dennings - She's so fucking close to becoming my new literal number one. So fucking close.
3) Amanda Seyfried - I want to live with her hair.
4) Marion Cotillard - She was supposed to be highly ranked last week but I forgot. I like her natural look.
5) Gillian Jacobs - She therapised me into ranking her this high.
6) Anna Kendrick - She's cuter than CuteLady38.
7) Dreama Walker - Goodbye Apartment 23. And thank you.
8) Alison Brie - Have I been underrating her due to Gillian Jacobs being nicer? Probably.
9) Anna Popplewell - Nobody popples half as good as her.
10) Keira Knightley - She will be locked in combat with Natalie Portman even after the end of the universe. Like Lazarus in Star Trek.
11) Jaimie Alexander - Should have been included a long time ago.
12) Olivia Wilde - I wish she would be in a good movie.
13) Mary Elizabeth Winstead- She's good in every way.
14) Michelle Trachtenberg - She's got that perfect skin.
15) Natalie Dormer - Underrated Game Of Thrones person.
16) Liv Tyler - She is attractLIV.
17) Natalie Portman - She's got that face.
18) Jessica Brown Findlay - Another underrated girl who is underrated (even in terms of this week's list probably!)
19) Alice Levine - She's paletastic.
20) Katie McGrath - I'm not quite sure where she'll end up in this post-Merlin world.
21) AJ Lee - WRESTLING THING ignore.
22) Cobie Smulders - Has a face.
23) Janina Gavankar - She is nice.
24) Kate Beckinsale - I still like her.
25) Rachel Riley - AN ENGLISH ROSE.

Also I bet Headvoid would have liked yesterday's female celebrity of the day!