Menu
What's new
Troll Kingdom

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Wacky Reviews: Wrestling

In Your House 3

Savio Vega vs Waylon Mercy - I love the Waylon Mercy character. He's an evil Jack Nicholson lookalike who shakes hands with the fans and smiles at everyone. Kind of like an early Bray Wyatt. Sadly he retired due to injury not long after this. Vince is annoying as fuck on commentary with his "he got him, this one's over...no, he didn't get him, this one's not over!" for every nearfall. Savio wins a surprisingly good match with a spinkick, which I guess suggests they knew Waylon wouldn't be around for long if they were having him lose to Savio Vega.

Sycho Sid vs Henry Godwinn - This match came about because the friendly pigfarmer "slopped" Sid. Great storyline! JR says "Slobberknocker" on commentary and Vince the King act like they've never heard it before. Sid works over Godwinn's back in a boring fashion for a while. I like Sid as a character but his matches were often shit. He needs help from his manager Ted Dibiase to beat the pig farmer with the powerbomb. Dibiase gets "slopped" after so I guess that's a moral victory or something.

British Bulldog vs Bam Bam Bigelow - Bam Bam takes some good bumps for a fat guy. Bulldog works over the leg for a long time then puts on a chinlock, which makes no sense. Why does Vince love insisting that every pin attempt is a three count? Bulldog wins with a powerslam in an average match.

Insane Bob Backlund introduces Dean Douglas. Got to love Insane Bob Backlund. Dean Douglas vs Razor Ramon - The real life backstory here is that the Clique (Shawn, Diesel, Razor, HHH, Kid) hated Douglas and made life shit for him in the WWF. He was gone by the end of the year. Douglas wins a slightly awkward but decent match after the Kid distracts Razor (BUT WAS IT ON PURPOSE!?) with a shitty roll-up.

Bret Hart vs Jean Pierre Lafitte - I read in the 'Titan Sinking' book that Bret wanted to prove with this match that he was still the best wrestler in the company after Shawn Michaels had been having great matches with everyone. He starts the match by diving out of the ring onto Lafitte which makes the match seem more important and personsal. Turns into a really great, hard-hitting, back and forth match. Everything Bret does is executed so smoothly and his selling is great. He gives JPL a lot of offense to make him look like a credible threat. Bret wins by locked on the sharpshooter while both are lying on their backs. As good as the match was it didn'thelp JPL's career as he was gone from the company a month later after a real life backstage fight with Diesel.

Diesel and Shawn Michaels vs Yokozuna and British Bulldog - Diesel is WWF champion, Shawn is IC champion, Yoko and Owen Hart are Tag champions. But! Owen is having "transportation problems" so Bulldog replaces him in the match. A decent match, but not ppv main event quality. Bulldog hits a terrible powerslam on Diesel but Shawn saves. Owen Hart then runs out (he wasn't having transportation problems at all!) and Diesel instantly pins him with a powerbomb despite Owen not being in the match. It's almost like they want a finish that means the decision can be reversed on RAW the next night!
 
25/9/95

Nitro

Alex Wright vs Disco Inferno - It's the battle of German techno and disco music! Pretty good quick match as Alex Wright was a good wrestler (whatever happened to him?)

Hulk Hogan does a promo about "the big nasty Giant" wearing a NECKBRACE because The Giant snapped his neck and he tells the Giant he's building a Hulkamania monster truck to drag him around the arena...I'm not making this up.

Lex Luger and Randy Savage get into an argument in the ring to set up a match for next week. Luger is a bad talker, Savage is good. Luger says he'll leave WCW if he loses to Macho Man next week. Seems to be jumping the gun a bit!

Craig Pittman vs Kurasawa - The fans cheer Pittman because they hate Japanese people more than evil drill instructors I guess. Kurasawa wins with a German suplex.

Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman talk about how Ric Flair has no friends.

Randy Savage vs Kevin Sullivan - Macho is DQed for throwing the referee. The Big Stinky Nasty Giant then attacks him. Luger runs out BUT WHOSE SIDE IS HE ON? He gets chokeslammed by The Giant. BUT IS THAT WHAT KEVIN SULLIVAN WANTED TO HAPPEN?

Lex Luger vs Meng - Luger is still hurt from being chokeslammed so Meng dominates him with EXCITING CHINLOCKS. Meng pulls A SPIKE out of his trunks and hits Luger in the throat for the win. Doesn't seem like a good way to set up Luger/Savager match next week...

RAW

Jim Cornette with his lawyer CLARENCE MASON managed to get Two Dudes With Attitude stripped of the tag titles for pinning the illegal man the night before. Who saw that coming!

Marty Jannett vs Skip - Marty Jannetty makes his return to the WWF (Vince: "WHAT A SURRRRRPRISE!") As mentioned before Jannetty was a great wrestler but he always fucked up things in his personal life and never got a good run. Sunny accidentally slaps Skip and Vince says "ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION!" as if it's the most shocking thing ever. Dean Douglas is TAKING NOTES on a big clipboard because that's what evil professors do. Jannetty wins a pretty good match with a top rope fistdrop, which is a move you don't see much of now (because it looks kind of dumb.)

Owen Hart and Yokozuna vs The Smoking Gunns - Gorilla Monsoon ordered Owen and Yoko to defend the tag titles after last night's screwjob. Pretty good match other than Yoko's obligatory two minute nerve hold. Gunns win the tag titles convincingly. TWO DUDES WITH ATTITUDE congratulate them after!

The Undertaker vs The British Bulldog - KING MABEL and WAYLON MERCY are shown watching the match. Bulldog hits a nice piledriver during the match. You don't see that anymore! Obviously they're not going to job the Undertaker, but Bulldog's got a title match with Diesel at the next IYH so the match ends in a DQ when Mable attacks Undertaker. Two Dudes With Attitude (yes I'll type that every time) run in for the save, but Yoko and Owen come out to give the advantage to the heels, then the Smoking Gunn come back out (all covered in SOAP becasue they're straight from the showers apparently!) for a big face off.

Definitely give the win to RAW this week.
 
2/10/95

Nitro

Lex Luger vs Randy Savage - They again play the video of Luger saying "I'm sick and tired of playing with kids, so I came where the big boys play!" Fans are solidly behind Savage and don't trust the slimey Luger. Lots of stalling at the start and a ref bump when it starts getting good. Savage has the win with the big elbow but there's no referee to count. The Giant comes out and chokeslams Savage and Luger (unaware of the help apparently) gets the win with the Torture Rack.

Disco Inferno comes out and dances for no reason (anything can happen!) and Bobby Heenan dances to his music. So that happened.

Eddy Guerrero vs Dean Malenko - Hey! I know who these guys are! Really great fast paced match at the start. So they cut away during it to show Hulk Hogan arriving in his limo. Fuck's sake. He has to kill the Giant to saved the little Hulkamaniacs. Eddy hits a crazy dive over the ringpost to the floor and gets the pin after a reversal sequence. Eddy looks so young here. Just over ten years later he'd be dead.

Hulk Hogan (still in neckbrace so he's selling for longer than Cena does at least) interview where talks about a little tiny Hulkamaniac who's getting ready for a double lung transplant. He's going to beat the Giant for him! He walks around the ring looking for a Hulkamaniac to give his shirt too, but a WOMAN WITH A CANE throws powder in Hogan's eyes and beats him up with the cane. It's Kevin Sullivan dressed as a woman! The Giant comes out and snaps Hogan's neck again. Then they shave off Hogan's moustache! The American Males and The Nasty Boys try to save Hogan but all get chokeslammed. Bobby Heenan laughs his ass off the whole time. This is pretty funny.

Ric Flair vs Arn Anderson - Slightly flat match, really. Flair gets the figure four on but Brian Pillman comes off the top rop onto him and the beatdown begins.

RAW

Razor Ramon vs 123 Kid - Another good match between them. Razor gets the win pretty quickly with a clothesline, but Kid challenges him to another match. Razor smacks the Kid around to teach him a lesson but Kid keeps fighting. Razor pins him again but Kid wants to keep fighting. Instead of hitting the Razor's Edge, Razor pins him for a third time with a small package. They make friends again afterwards. Okay Kid time to turn heel. Vince: "You've got to admire a kid that's got this much spunk!"

Vince announces that the fans can phone vote on if they think OJ Simpson is guilty or not. WTF.

Triple H vs Barry Horowitz - Horowitz was a jobber who got a mild push in 1995 because they ran out of non-jobbers to push I guess. HHH in 1995 wasn't as big as he is now. Oh and he's a snob. Vince welcomes THE POPE to the USA during the match. Hunter hits the pedigree for the pin.

JC Ice and Wolfie D vs jobbers - Yep. Ice and Wolfie are the USWA tag team champions making a special appearance for some reason. They win, obviously. BUT IS OJ SIMPSON GUILTY OR NOT?

Bret Hart vs Jean Pierre Lafitte - Bret bodyslams him into the steel steps early which looks pretty cool. Another very good match between them. This Bret Hart guy was a good wrestler! He wins with the Sharpshooter but again JPL looks good in defeat. Jerry Lawler taunts Bret after so Bret attacks him and ISAAC YANKEM runs out and attacks Bret.

The Bret match was better than anything on Nitro so give them the slight edge.


9/10/95

Nitro

String vs The Shark - Sting hits a crossbody off the top in less than two minutes for the win.

Sabu vs Mr JL - Mr JL is the future Jerry Lynn in a mask. Sabu wins an entertaining spotfest with his weird half camel clutch thing.

Sting wants Lex Luger and Randy Savage to be friends. Macho is super paranoid. Luger doesn't want to wrestle Savage at Halloween Havoc. Sting is tired of his crap!

CHRIS BENOIT walks out of a limo and says "WCW, where the big boys play." He's debuting soon. Remember him?

Disco Inferno comes out to dance again. His music cuts out so he puts it on again on a boombox. That's funny.

Big Bubba vs Road Warrior Hawk - I think this was during the period of time where Animal and Hawk had fallen out. Bubba still has good punches. Disco comes out again so Hawk chases him away and gets counted out. Another short pointless match!

Hulk Hogan comes out to boos(!) and he's still alive after last week's assualt, but now he's wearing BLACK (including a black neck brace!) Gena claims the fans are booing because Hogan is wearing black, even though they were booing before they could actually see him. Hogan is EDGY AND DARK now and tells Mean Gene to shut his mouth! But he's still saying "that nasty Giant!" and "brother" a lot. He randomly starts talking about a "promoter in New York" (Vince McMahon) who is "dying" after trying to chop Hulkamania down. He says that shaving his moustache was the same as burning the American flag. THE GIANT arrives in his EVIL MONSTER TRUCK outside the bulding! This was completely fucking bizarre.

Ric Flair vs Arn Anderson in a steel cage match - RAW was pre-taped most weeks, Nitro was live. So Bischoff knew RAW had a Bret Hart/Isaac Yankem cage match coming up the next week, so he made this a cage match the week before to say it was the first cage match on a Monday night. Devious but smart! Good but short match, Anderson wins after Brian Pillman tosses him brass knuckles.

RAW

Yokozuna, Owen Hart and the British Bulldog vs Two Dudes With Attitudes and The Undertaker - Seems like Vince is starting to take Nitro seriously as a threat putting this on as the opening match. WAYLON MERCY watches again and has a non-title match with Diesel this weekend on Superstars. I'll have to check to see if that's on the Network I guess. Jerry Lawler talks about chatting to "hackers" on AOL during the match. Bulldog gets a surprisingly clean pin on Diesel after Yokozuna hits him with a legdrop. KING MABEL and Yoko drop multiple legdrops on Undertaker afterwards while Dean Douglas attacks Shawn and Bulldog and Owen continue to destroy Diesel. Yep, the heels are made to look really strong and get a lot of heat on the faces and the fans will want to see the faces get revenge. It's good booking!

A look back at the Bret Hart/Isaac Yankem feud. Too long of a look. He's an evil fucking dentist.

Make A Difference Fatu vs Skip - The former Headshrinker and future Sultan/Rikishi is currently FROM THE STREETS and wants gets to "make a difference!" Skip hits a top rope headbutt but hurts his own head because Samoans have hard skulls (it's racist as fuck!) Fatu wins with a top rope splash and Skip lies there with his legs sticking up in the air for some reason.

Another reply of the show opening angle. Finally JR interviews Bulldog and Cornett and Bulldog makes me laugh by pulling faces and flexing his muscles.

This is a hard week to judge because RAW had a great heel beatdown, but then the rest of the show was recaps and one poinltess match, whereas Nitro was action all the way through and had that crazy Hogan interview. So maybe give the slight edge to Nitro.
 
16/10/95

Nitro

Mongo has a dog dressed up as an alien with him. I fucking hate Mongo. Sting has agreed to be Ric Flair's partner tonight but says if Flair doublecrosses him he'll leave Flair FOR DEAD.

Johnny B. Badd vs DDP - DDP just hits him with the TV title right away to set up a rematch at Halloween Havoc. Okay.

Eddy Guerrero vs Chris Benoit - Huh. Those two. Look I could keep going on about the tragic and very different ways both their lives ended, but let's also remember they were both fucking great wrestlers and this match is just on another level from everything else hapening at the time. Benoit hits a sick looking powerbomb then gets the win with a dragon suplex. Great match.

Mean Gene shamelessly shills the hotline before introducing Kevin Sullivan and The Giant. Kevin Sullivan talks about being evil. The Giant tells Hogan he's going to murder him in his monster truck.

Disco Inferno comes out to dance again!

Meng vs Hacksaw Jim Duggan - Meng wins a short match with a DEADLY thumb to the throat.

Another insane Hogan interview. He dressed in black and made the world shake in fear with the EVIL that's inside him. He continues to say "big stinky nasty Giant" a lot and promises to literally kill him and bury him next to Andre. It's terrible.

Ric Flair and Sting vs Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman - Sting doesn't come out with Flair so he's left 2 on 1. Flair hits the rarely seen top rope double axehandle without being thrown off the top rope. Sting is apparently so impressed by this that he finally comes out to be Flair's partner. Pillman and Anderson get counted out after Sting destroys them. Sting reveals that he now trusts Flair and agrees to team with him again at Halloween Havoc. I'm sure that won't end badly.

RAW

Isaac Yankem declares "Bret Hart, tonight in this steel cage, I'm going to apply the biggest pair of braces in the world to your teeth!" More dental based puns follow from Bret and Jerry Lawler. Oh dear.

Triple H vs Doink - Yeah, Doink was still around at this point, which is a bit of a surprise to me. He doesn't even have Dink anymore! Imagine someone watching that Benoit/Guerrero match then turning over and seeing Donik. Hunter wins fairly easily with a weird looking Pedigree.

Barry Horowitz is teaching Hakushi how to be America, by talking to him like a child. Because Japanese people are stupid, I guess.

The Smoking Gunns vs JC Ice and Wolfie D - WWF tag titles are on the line but not the USAW tag titles (because really who wants them?) The upper section of the arena (which isn't very big in the first place) is full of empty seats, which is quite sad. Vince continues to refer to anyone who uses AOL as a "hacker". The Gunns win with their move. The USWA guys weren't big enough for Vince to get behind them as a serious team.

Dean Douglas vs Jobber - Vince explains that Shawn Michaels was attacked by "ten thugs" (in reality it was just one guy) outside a nightclub and is questionable for Sunday at In Your House! Shawn promises over the phone that he'll compete on Sunday. Douglas wins with a fisherman suplex.

Bret Hart vs Isaac Yankem in a steel cage match - Evil Jerry Lawler switches the locks so that Bret can't escape the cage. What a dick! He then climbs up the side of the cage to interfere, but is punished by Gorilla Monsoon by being put in a smaller cage which is then suspended from the ceiling. Then he gets a nosebleed! The actual match is pretty dull. Bret had much better matches with the evil pirate than with the evil dentist. Vince: "what can Bret do with this rugged dentist!" Bret wins, obviously.

Give Nitro the win as the two dead guys match blew everything else away.

In Your House 4

Fatu vs Triple H - Jim Ross joins Lawler and McMahon on commentary for ppv, which is a huge improvement. How about putting him on RAW too? Fatu hits a running RKO(!), but then misses a top rope splash and HHH wins with the pedigree. Decent match.

The Smoking Gunns vs Razor Ramon and the 123 Kid - So if you're friends who have a falling out then make up again, that means you deserve a tag title shot? Kid uses some HEELISH tactics as foreshadowing. Razor hits the Razor's Edge but the Kid insists on being tagged in to get the pinfall himself, so Razor tags him and the Billy Gunn rolls him up for the pin. Oops. Kid throws a temer tantrum after and attacks the Gunns. Pretty good match.

Dok Hendrix shills lifesize cardboard cutouts of Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels. "Ladies, imagine having Shawn Micheals in your house! And kids, Bret Hart in your bedroom, watching you as you sleep!" Holy shit.

Goldust vs Marty Jannetty - This is Goldust's debut. Fans don't really know what to make of him. Vince says "bizarre" a lot. Goldust isn't as gay as he'll become. Match has a few messed up moves but it's pretty good on the whole. Goldust wins with a front suplex thing.

Yokozuna vs King Mabel - Was supposed to be Mabel versus Undertaker but Taker suffered a broken orbital bone thanks to Mabel being so fat. Match is (thankfully) short but still features a spot where Mabel goes for a bulldog but Yoko completely ignores it then falls out of the ring for no reason. Both are counted out. Then they hug. Pointless.

Dean Douglas vs Razor Ramon - Shawn Michaels can't compete so has to give up the title to Dean Douglas. This is of course suspicious as Shawn hates Douglas and has a history of losing titles without being beaten in the ring. Shawn looks all sad then hands the belt to President Gorilla Monsoon. Well, he tries to, Douglas grabs it first and celebrates which is good heeling at least! Razor works over his arm in a dull fashion for a long time while Dean says "no, Razor, no!" Bit weird. Razor dominates the entire match (apart from a backdrop over the top by Douglas and a dropkick) and completely does everything he can to not make Douglas look like a threat, pulling "lol he's no problem!" faces at the fans and everything. You'd think that would mean Douglas would win, but Razor gets the win with a weak back suplex. So Douglas "wins" the title without beating anyone then loses it ten minutes later in a match where he was made to look like nothing. Ouch. No wonder he was gone by the end of the year.

Diesel vs British Bulldog - Bret Hart is on commentary. Bulldog just works over the leg. For a long time. And keeps putting Diesel in the same leglock. He EVENTUALLY tries to put the Sharpshooter on but falls over. Disesel makes a sloppy comeback but Bulldog randomly slaps Bret, who attacks him. So Bulldog wins by DQ because they didn't want him losing as he's about the only top heel they have. Terrible main event. Bret and Diesel get into a brawl after to set up their match as Survivor Series.
 
23/10/95

Nitro

Randy Savage vs Kurasawa - Bischoff says "back-leg round kick" a lot. Kurasawa hits a lot of kicks (maybe too many, it gets a bit repetitive) and Savage is a great seller. Savage eventually gets the win after a top rope elbow (which Kurasaw has to roll into position for.)

The lights go out and Kevin Sullivan's EVIL FATHER (an old guy who shouts) appears on screen and introduces A GIANT BLOCK OF ICE. Kevin Sullivan explains that there's a Yeti in the block of ice. Oh, well, that makes sense then. It's really amazing how Nitro can have worldclass wrestling that's better than anything on RAW but then have some absolute shite that worse than anything in the history of tv.

Hulk Hogan (still in EVIL BLACK) says "everyone knows what a man with a pair of black gloves and a black rag is capable of doing, brother!" I have no idea what he means. He calls himself "THE BAD GUY HULK HOGAN" and says Macho Man, Sting and Lex Luger are "little dogs, brother!" This is all mental.

Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko vs Eddy Guerrero and Mr JL - A good match, so let's cut away to show Scott Norton and SHARK fighting backstage! Benoit just goes all out in every match. He hits a crazy top rope superplex here and the announcers doesn't even call it! No wonder his brain was so fucked up. Mr JL pins Malenko after Alex Wright (who is at ringside on crutches for some reason) trips Dean. Crazy Brian Pillman attacks Eddy after.

Sting and Lex Luger vs Harlem Heat - Can Sting trust Luger!? I guess he can, as they win this average match pretty easily. The Giant chokeslams Luger and Sting, then faces off with Macho Man before Hogan comes out. Giant actually sells Hogan's punches so the rest of the Dungeon Of Doom run in. Security has to hold Hogan back WITH A CLUB. And then a man in bandages hatches out of the ice. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

RAW

20 man battle royal - Winner gets an IC title shot. King Kong Bundy is the first man eliminated when everyone teams up on him. He must have left the company shortly after because I can't remember him doing anything else. Aldo Montoyo is out next. Remember him? He sucked. Battle royals are pretty boring when the ring is full. Just guys standing around punching each other. Sid kicks wrestling garbage man Duke Dreose out. Yeah, a wrestling garbage man. It was 1995. Loads of guys get eliminated during the ad break. Fuck them! Sid eliminates Isaac Yankem which is kind of interesting? Bam Bam Bigelow eliminates Sid, but Bam Bam himself gets eliminated during an ad break by the evil pirate. Marty Jannetty eliminates Savio Vega and JPL in quick succession and it comes down to him and Owen Hart. Bulldog attacks Jannetty outside the ring and Owen eliminates Marty for the win. Started off boring but got better as when there were less people in there. Still felt like time filler on the whole though.

Avatar vs Jobber - Avatar is the future Al Snow in a silly outfit. Avatar fucks up a few moves. At one point he just stands there with no clue what to do. The jobber actually looks better than him. Avatar gets the win with a...standing splash? Then he takes his mask off after the match. Avatar wouldn't be around for long as no one had a clue what he was supposed to be. And he was shit.

Bertha Faye vs Alundra Blaze - You know we complain about the women not getting enough screentime now, but this is the first time I've seen a woman's match on RAW in 1995. Of course that's because they only have two regular female wrestlers on the roster at this point. Bertha Faye is an obese woman managed by Harvey Wimpleman (who is also in love with her.) She's the champion. I remember Alundra Blaze having some good matches with Japanese women. She's actually quite popular here. She wins the title back with a German suplex in a decent match.

Jim Ross interviews a sad looking Shawn Michaels. He says handing over the belt to the "overrated" Dean Douglas was the hardest thing he's ever done. Wouldn't losing it in the ring have been harder?

Umm, neither show as all that great this week but Nitro had the Yeti so let's say they win.

Halloween Havoc

Finally! After all the build-up, I get to see Hogan and The Giant battle in sumo monster trucks!

Diamnd Dallas Page vs Johnny B. Badd - DDP is cheesey as fuck with his comical staggering around. DDP has MAX MUSCLE and the DIAMOND DOLL (his wife Kimberly) with him and Kimberly isn't happy with her treatment. Bobby Heenan is hilarious talking about how thick she is on commentary. A dull match as DDP still wasn't all that good. Just compare it to the great match between Badd and Pillman at the last ppv. Nick Patrick and the annoying way he lies on his side to count pinfalls doesn't help either! Badd wins the TV title after Max Muscles accidentally hits DDP (right in front of the referee.)

Randy Savage vs Zodiac - A fan jumps into the ring at the start, which is the only interesting thing about this match. Savage wins in about a minute with the flying elbow.

Kurasawa vs Hawk - Another short match. Hawk attacks Colonel Parker and is then pinned by Kurasawa with his feet on the ropes. Weak.

Sabu vs Mr J.L. - Three minute spotfest with no selling. Sabu's uncle the original Sheik (NOT THE IRON SHEIK) is with him and he has a sword and thrwos a fireball at Mr J.L. after. What a jerk.

Kevin Sullivan and his dad (sitting in a plastic chair) come out to shout. I skip it. Then Hulk Hogan all in black gives a bike away to a Hulkamaniac.

Lex Luger vs Meng - Finally a match gets some time...and it's this. Luger always looks awkward in the ring. Meng hits Luger with his "golden spike" but Kevin Sullivan comes in and kicks Luger so that he wins by DQ, meaning that Luger will face Savage later. IT'S A CONSPIRACY OR SOMETHING.

String and Ric Flair vs Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman - Flair was "attacked" earlier in the day so String comes out to wrestle the match by himself. That's no suspicious at all! Sting does well despite it being two on one and finally Flair comes out in street clothes with a big bandage on his head. The heels take over on Sting and the fans chant "we want Flair!" as he keeps cheering on Sting. After a long beatdown Sting finally makes the tag, Flair hits the ropes...then punches out Sting. Yes it was all a set-up! Which of course MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE given how many matches Flair had against Anderson and Pillman in the weeks leading up this match. Flair explains to Mean Gene than the 4 Horsemen are back together but doesn't explain like all the other stuff that happened.

Sumo Monster Truck Match - Yes this is really happening. On the roof of an arena across the road. Hogan has a red and yellow truck, Giant's truck has teeth. Bischoff and some monster truck guy are on commentary talking about how great monster trucks are. This lasts far too long. It's just two trucks pushing each other. Hogan wins. Then they get out of their trucks and start fighting...and Hogan knocks the Giant off the roof of the arena. Yeah, really. So the Giant is dead now. Bischoff apologises to everyone watching.

Randy Savage vs Lex Luger - The show must go on! Jimmy Hart comes out during the match for some reason. Luger wrestles like a heel. Savage whips Luger into Jimmy Hart then wins with the top rope elbow. Luger's looked pretty week since joining WCW.

Bobby Heenan is cracking up about the Giant as he and the Giant's "father" go way back. Then we get a replay of The Giant dying.

Hulk Hogan vs The Giant - Hogan comes out first and apologises for killing the Giant. But he's alive! Michael Buffer does the "let's get ready to rumble!" as the Giant rises from the dead and Hogan looks scared and flees the ring. Yeah it's almost like Hogan's the cowardly heel here. Hogan has drawn all over his forehead with a black marker pen because he's evil now. This is the Giant's first match ever and he does pretty basic stuff. But he's younger and in much better shape than he is now (I mean it was 20 years ago so that's to be expected.) Hogan makes a comeback and hits a thousand eyerakes. Giant finally hits the chokeslam after a long bearhug. Then Hogan Hulks Up. Like fucking always. He bodyslams the Giant and hits the legdrop, but Jimmy Hart hits the referee before he can count. Then he hits Hogan with the belt! Turns out you can't trust Jimmy Hart which you'd think Hogan would know from being in the WWF in the eighties. Savage and Luger run out to help Hogan but Luger turns on Savage. Giant puts Hogan in a bearhug and THE YETI comes out! Remember he's a tall guy wrapped in bandages. Luger puts Hogan in the Torture Rack. Pretty sure he's a heel now! The Giant wins by DQ but Buffer makes sore to clarify that the belt can't change hands by DQ.

Let's face it this was a terrible ppv.
 
30/10/95

Nitro

Eddie Guerrore vs Craig Pittman - Is it "Eddy" or "Eddie"? They keep changing the spelling. Bit of a styles clash but Pittman does hit some nice suplexes. Eddie gets the win with a leg scissors roll-up. Commentators act like it's a huge upset.

Scott Norton vs Shark - Norton finally gets revenge for Shark costing him that match against Randy Savage nearly two months ago! Good continuity, I guess. Norton bodyslams Shark. Bobby Heenan is shown having a candle lit dinner with a Japanese guy. Norton and Shark are both counted out.

Tony Schiavone interviews the reformed Four Horseman of Ric Flair, Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman. There's only three of them! They don't really explain anything except that they're back together.

Sabu vs Disco Inferno - I still find Disco pretty amusing! Sabu wins with a summersault legdrop. He tries a rana over the top after but fucks it up and hurts his neck. Disco just keeps dancing and fixing his hair. Sabu tries to put him through a table but Disco moves! The table doesn't break so Sabu goes nuts. Sabu was kind of dangerous!

Lex Luger and Meng vs The American Males - So the Luger/Meng match last night was a SET UP according to Bischoff. Why didn't Meng just let him win then? Luger has to take a lot of bumps for Marcus Bagwell and it looks funny. He gets the win with the Torture Rack.

The Giant joins the rest of the Dungeon in the ring, wearing the WCW world title belt he stole last night. Jimmy Hart says he'll explain why he turned against Hulk Hogan next week and the Giant will defend "his" belt.

RAW

Todd Pettingzoo does a Halloween theme introduction to the show. Embarrassingly bad. Vince and Jerry are in Halloween costumes. Vince is dressed a prisoner and Lawler makes a joke about his legal troubles the year before. Lawler is a doctor. He normally dresses as a King so it's not really any stupider.

Goldust vs Savio Vega - This is the "broadcast debut" of Goldust. Goldust uses his entrace to distract Vega then attack him violently. That's good character work! Goldust works on Vega's arm and gets the win with a kind of hammerlock roll up thing.

Barry Horowitz and Hakushi play with Karate fighters.

Marty Jannetty vs Jobber - Jannetty wins with a top rope fistdrop. Nitro doesn't have jobber matches...

Jim Cornette introduces his lawyer Clarence Mason and says he'll get the British Bulldog a shot at Diesel or Bret Hart for the championship. Cornette is angry at the British Bulldog having to wrestle Marty Jannetty next week. Jannetty runs in and dropkicks Bulldog out of the ring and beats up Cornette a bit.

The Smoking Gunns vs Jobbers - Guess who wins!

Razor Ramon vs Owen Hart - A decent match, but it ends in a DQ when Yokozuna runs in. The Kid tries to save Razor but gets destroyed. Ahmed Johnson then debuts by slamming Yokozuna.

Umm, neither show was very good this week. Let's just say RAW wins because Razor/Owen was probably the best match on either show.
 
Forgot to update!

6/11/1995

Nitro

This is an "interactive" Nitro meaning the fans get to pick the main event by dialing an expensive phone number. Exciting!

Giant vs Cobra - Cobra gets booed despite supposedly being a face. He keeps saying "HUH, HUH, ALRIGHT BABY" on his way to the ring to win the fans over. His "music" is just morse code and it's terrible. This is Giant's first ever match on Nitro. He's still wearing the WCW title belt. He picks up the ring announcer to force him to announce it as a title match, which is funny. Giant chokeslams Cobra instantly to win.

All the heels who can be picked for tonight's interactive main event are arguing backstage, excep the BLUE BLOODS (Steven Regal and David Taylor) who are SIPPING TEA and READING BOOKS. Regal is later seen wearing a monocle. Like everyone in England does.

Hulk Hogan and Macho Man (who is wearing black now AND HAS COME TO THE DARKSIDE) are hanging out with homleless people in Venice Beach. I have no fucking idea what's going on anymore.

Kevin Sullivan vs The Renegade - Sullivan wins with a double footstomp from the second rope. He's no Finn Balor. Jimmy Hart wipes off Renegade's face paint afterwards and says "he's just plain old Nick!"

Chris Benoit vs Eddie Guerrero - Bischoff says this match is "back by popular demand." Benoit destroys him from the start and puts in a brutal Liontamer (not the shitty Walls Of Jericho!) Lots of Japanese people including Jushin Liger are watching the match. Eddie hits his crazy crossbody over the ringpost. Benoit hits his crazy superplex and sick powerbomb again but Eddie kicks out. Eddie gets the upset win even though Benoit's feet were under the ropes and it shouldn't have counted! Another match on a different level from nearly everything else happening at the time.

Sting vs Ric Flair - What a surprise! The two people in the feud won the phone vote! Sting is angry and out for revenge. Flair hits a suplex on the floor and struts, but Sting no sells it and goes for the Stinger Splash and hits the barricade. Bischoff: "Someone check if he's okay!" Henann: "Who cares." Flair gets the figure four on. Stings escapes and starts no selling again. Flair comes back with a thumb to the eye. They still run through some of the same reversal spots they do in every match against each other, which kind of annoys me. Flair hits Sting with a foreign object but Sting kicks out and starts no selling for the third time and hits his fourth press slam of the match. Sting gets the win with the Scorpion Deathlock. Good match but very much the standard Sting/Flair formula. Sting refuses to break the hold afterwards until Lex Luger (who is still friends with Sting despite being a heel) talks him out of it.

Mean Gene interviews The Giant and Jimmy Hart. Gene says it's not right that the Giant is still wearing the title belt, but Hart reveals that Hogan gave him power of attorney while he was "off making B-grade movies" and Hart put it in the contract for Halloween Havoc that the title can change by DQ. So The Giant really is the champion! A LAWYER comes in and reveals that even though Hogan has lost the title the championship commitee has held up the title due to the dubious nature of the title change and the winner of the 60 man battle royal at the next ppv will be the new champion. Okay then.

RAW

Video saying that Ahmed Johnson has gone from obscurity to "the stuff legends are made of" after slamming Yokozuna. Let's not go nuts.

British Bulldog vs Marty Jannetty - Jannetty hits some nice moves. Bulldog wins with the powerslam.

A Bill Clinton impersonator will be at Survivor Series. Exciting.

Henry Godwinn vs Jobber - Godwinn wins, Triple H attacks him after, gives him a pedigree on the floor, puts on gloves to pick up the slop bucket and slops Godwinn. Well there's a feud for you!

Kama vs Jobber - Wow they're really spoiling us with all these jobber matches. Goes on way too long before Kama wins with a punch. Yes, a punch. you've got Benoit and Guerrero killing each other (not literally!) on the other channel and on RAW you've got a guy beating jobbers with a punch.

Vince and Doc Hendrix hyping a new episode of FOREVER KNIGHT is hilariously cheesey.

Bret Hart and Hakushi vs Jerry Lalwer and Isaac Yankem - Bret and Hakushi used to be enemies but now they're friends. Aww. Hakushi is pretty great so it's a shame to see him wasted in a near jobber role. Lawler hits Hakushi with two piledrivers and he and Yankem double team him behind the referee's back. Bret finally tags and gets the Sharpshooter on Yankem but the referee is distracted. Lawler tries to hit Bret with a chair but Barry Horowitz grabs it from him and this gets Bret and Hakushi DQ'd. Doesn't seem like the best way to build Bret up for Survivor Series.

Nitro wins.


13/11/95

Nitro

Hulk Hogan is hanging out in the Dungeon Of Doom's evil dimension wearing a black robe and a weird half mask and he's drawn a beard on his face and he's carrying a sword. Seriously this is all happening. He doesn't know where Sting's head's at, brother. At least he's not wearing a cheap mask in an unconvincing graveyard set, Hulk.

Macho Man vs Meng - Savage sneaks in through the crowd to attack Meng from behind because he's on the darkside now, brother. Meng hits a load of chops. Savage wins with the elbow. THE SHARK, Kevin Sullivan and Lex Luger attack Savage's arm after.

Kensuki Sasaki vs Chris Benoit - Benoit wins with two rolling Germans into a dragon suplex. Short but good match. Fans cheer Benoit even though he's the "newest member of the Four Horsemen." I don't remember that happening so I guess it was on a show other than Nitro.

Eddie Guerrero vs Johnny B. Badd - They shake hands and have a friendly match for a while, but end up punching each other and stuff. A good match that ends in a time limit draw. They want to keep fighting after but then end up shaking hands again.

Hulk Hogan vs Sting is live next week!

Mean Gene interviews Kevin Sullivan, The Giant and Jimmy Hart. Again. This happens every week. Nothing new is said.

Sting vs Dean Malenko - Malenko looks good with a great German suplex and top rope dropkick, though most of the match is him working over Sting's leg. Sting gets the pin with a small package. Mean Gene interviews Sting who says he doesn't know what Hogan's problem is but he'll sort him out next week.

RAW

Triple H vs Henry Godwinn - Hunter keeps spraying perfume all over the ring, so Godwinn dumps a slop bucket over his own head. Hunter runs away and slips in the slop. Not a match. Vince "we've seen it all now!" as if this is the most amazing thing ever.

Ahmed Johnson vs Jobber - Ahmed wins his debut with a tigerbomb (amazingly correctly called by Vince!) Ahmed gives an incomprehensible interview after.

Bret Hart and Diesel do a face to face interivew, except they're both in different rooms so I guess it isn't really face to face. Bret's going to use his technical skills to win, Diesel's just going to beat him up, nothing was settled in their previous matches. Pretty good interview setting up their match at Survivor Series on Sunday.

Vince and Jerry have a Karate Fighters match against each other. Oh dear.

Mabel vs Jobber - Mabel wins in a squash that goes on way too long.

Razor Ramon vs Sycho Sid - 1-2-3 Kid is the special guest referee! This was supposed to be for the IC title but Razor and Kid has another falling out over the weekend so President Gorilla Monsoon made it non-title. I like it when Razor goes for the Razor's Edge with his opponent standing right next to the ropes because EVERY TIME he gets backdropped over the top rope when he does. You'd think he'd learn to only attempt the Razor's Edge in the middle of the ring! Dean Douglas attacks Razor outside the ring and the Kid misses it. Sid has the worst looking Camel Clutch ever. Kid rescues Sid from a Razor's Edge then Sid hits a powerbomb and Kid quick counts Razor. Finally the Kid has turned heel and I guess Gorilla Monsoon was right! Wouldn't it have made more sense to keep Kid turning heel more of a surprise and make it a title match?

Nitro wins I guess.
 
Survivor Series 1995

Mr Perfect returns as a commentator. More on that later. But in short, he's not very good.

The Underdogs (Marty Jannetty, Bob Holly, Hakushi and Barry Horowitz) vs The Body Donnas (Skip, Rad Radford, Tom Prichard and the 1-2-3 Kid) - Kid replaces Jean Pierre-Lafite. Razor Ramon comes out going for the Kid because he's really angry at losing that non title match. Holly actually gets an elimination, pinning Prichard with a toprope crossbody but is then pinned himself instantly by Skip. Barry Horowitz is over like rover here and Hakushi gets great reactions for his cool moves before being pinned by Radford after the Kid kicks him in the back of the head. Radford starts doing push-ups and Horowitz pins him. Kid pins Horowitz. Jannetty pins Skip with a toprope powerbomb which is pretty crazy for 1995 WWF. The Kid pins Jannetty with help from fellow Million Dollar Corporation member Sid. Very good, fast paced, non-stop action opener!

Alundra Blayze, Kyoko Inoue, Sakie Hasegawa and Chaparita Asari vs Bertha Faye, Aja Kong, Tomoko Watanabe and Lioness Asuka - Yeah I had to use Wikipedia for the spelling of most of those names. So if you think Divas are treated badly today (#givedivasachance) then holy shit they were treated so much worse back here. Vince obviously doesn't have a clue about any of these women so he keeps handing over to JR to call the match properly. Mr Perfect spends the whole match making terrible "HAHAHA, HER OLD MAN MUST STAY AT THE BAR INSTEAD OF GOING HOME TO HER" jokes while Vince yuks it up and JR is obviously disgusted. The Japanese women work hard and do some crazy moves that the fans actually get into while Perfect keeps shitting on the match ("these women should be at home making their old man dinnner!") Seriously he's obsessed with dinner. The match is horribly rushed and a few of the pinfalls are fucked up either by the wrestlers or the ref. Kong pins Blaze with a spinning backfist after some good action between them to be the sole survivor. Obviously this was going to set up a one on one match but you'll find out in the coming weeks why that didn't happen!

Todd Pettingzoo interviews a Bill Clinton impersonator. He thinks Bam Bam Bigelow was in the Flinstones. Biting political commentary!

Bam Bam Bigelow vs Goldust - Goldust's entrance takes forfuckingever. His music actually cylces all the way through and restarts because it took so long. Weird match as Goldust dominates most of it and wins pretty easily with a bulldog. Bam Bam was gone from the company shortly after. Long match, kind of boring.

The Darkside (The Undertaker, Henry Godwinn, Savio Vega and Fatu) vs The Royals (King Mable, Jerry Lawler, Isaac Yankem and Triple H) - Undertaker suffered a broken orbital bone in real life when Mable sat on him, so he debuts his kind of Phantom Of The Opera mask here to protect the still recovering broken bone. And it actually looks pretty cool. Mr Perfect finally does something useful on commentary by telling Vince to call Hunter "Triple H". I wonder if that name will stick. The first ten minutes are pointless as no one gets eliminated and the match doesn't really start until Undertaker finally gets tagged in. He pins Lawler and Yankem (KANE!) with Tombstones and HHH with a chokeslam. Then he no sells Mable so Mable just runs away because this feud needs to be dragged out to one more ppv I guess.

Shawn Michaels, Ahmed Johnson, British Bulldog and Sycho Sid vs Yokozuna, Owen Hart, Dean Douglas and Razor Roman - This is a "Wild Card" match meaning Gorilla Monsson supposedly chose the teams at random. Douglas lasts about five minutes before being pinned by Shawn after his own partner Razor punches him. It's fair to say the Dean Douglas push is over. Owen and Bulldog go at it, then Shawn and Razor. It's a wild card match! Weird bit as Razor hits the Razor's Edge on Shawn and Ahmed breaks it up, then Razor and Shawn both sell like they're badly hurt for a really long time even though Shawn was the one who took the big move and Razor should be fine. Get your psychology right, guys! Razor does yet another double knockout spot with Sid. Sid holds Razor for a superkick from Shawn but Shawn misses and hits Sid then just shrugs because he doesn't like Sid anyway. Sid's eliminated but powerbombs Shawn on the way out. Yoko beats down Shawn until he tags Ahmed, who pins Owne with a Tigerbomb. Ahmed is out of position for Razor's second rope bulldog so Razor just walks over and gives him a standing bulldog. Just noting that Ahmed is green! The Kid distracts Razor and Bulldog pins him with the powerslam. Ahmed bodyslams Yoko again but Bulldog breaks up the pin, which makes no sense. Shawn superkicks Yoko and Ahmed pins him with a splash. Match was okay. They never did another Wild Card match.

Diesel vs Bret Hart - It's a no DQ match so both take off a turnbuckle pad at the start to show that they're not fucking around! Bret goes for the leg right away but Diesel cuts him off immediately and beats Bret down for quite a long time. Bret keeps trying to escape and possibly tire Diesel out, but Diesel keeps beating him down including a chairshot. Bret finally gets an opening by BITING Diesel then goes to work on the leg. Bret gets a figure four on. Diesel blocks the Sharpshooter by poking Bret in the eyes, then kicks Bret into the turnbuckle. Bret comes back by ramming Diesel's leg into the ring post then ties Diesel's leg up with a cord! They're doing a good job showing both men will do whatever it takes to win. Bret works over Diesel's leg with a chair while Diesel is still tied up and some of the fans actually start booing Bret. Bret goes up to the top rope with a chair but Diesel manages to crotch him on the rope then throw him off and finally unties his leg. Diesel whips Bret chest first onto the exposed turnbuckle. Both men sell fatigue well as they slug it out. Bret gets some two counts but misses a dive to the floor. Mr Perfect keeps putting himself over instead of talking about the match. Bret gets up on the apron but Diesel charges into him and Bret goes flying through the Spanish announce table and a meme is born! Table bumps like this just didn't happen in the WWF in 1995 so the fans are shocked and the announces sell it like Bret is dead. Diesel gets Bret back in the ring and goes for the powerbomb but he hesitates for a second because Bret slumps down hurt...then Bret surprises him with a small package for the win! Diesel goes nuts after and gives Bret two powerbombs and punches out three refs. Great match!

Nitro might be better than RAW most weeks, but this was a far better ppv than WCW's Halloween Havoc thanks mainly to the main event. Recommended show!
 
20/11/95

Nitro

Scott Norton vs The Shark - The epic fued continues! Norton wins with a bodyslam. Nothing else to mention.

Jimmy Hart encourages Sting to turn evil. Hogan got Macho Man a part on Baywatch instead of Sting!

Disco Inferno dances again.

Eddie Guerrero vs Brian Pillman - Was supposed to be Flair wrestling but Flair says he's too big a star to wrestle Eddie so Pillman takes his place. Will probably be a better match this way anyway. Eddie does his amazing dive over the ringpost again. Eddie wins with the Flog Splash. The announcers continue to put Eddie over. Let's see how long his push lasts!

Big Bubba vs Hawk - Bubba tapes a roll of quaters to his fist (okay?) but Hacksaw Duggan trips him up and Hawk gets the pin. This was silly.

Sting vs Hulk Hogan - Bischoff, Mongo and Heenan have been putting this over as the biggest match to ever happen in the history of the world. Sting is wearing red and yellow in an attempt to bring Hogan back from the darkside. HOGAN ACTUALLY GETS BOOED and Bischoff tries to ignore it. Haha, fuck Hogan. Macho Man comes out to Hogan's music and distracts Sting so that Hogan can "sneak" (as well as you can sneak with a dodgy hip) in through the crowd and attack Sting from behind. Fans are solidly behind Sting and booring Hogan. Hogan actually puts a cross armbreaker on Sting. When Sting goes for the Stinger Splash Hogan catches him in a bearhug. Hogan escapes the Scorpion Deathlock and Hulks Up and the fans boo. He misses the legdrop and Stings get the Scorpion on again...then the match ends in the only way it could with the Dungeon Of Doom running in and attacking both (and Macho Man.) Giant chokeslams Macho but Hogan and Sting knock him out of the ring with a chair. World War 3 on Sunday!


RAW

1-2-3 Kid vs Hakushi - Marty Jannetty runs out during the match but is dragged away by referees. Kid wins a good match with a spinkick. Jannetty comes out again after to ask Kid what's up with him being a heel all of a sudden but Sid attacks Jannetty and powerbombs him on the floor. This is a good start to the show but sadly we then cut to Dok Hendrix being a shill.

Skip vs Savio Vega - Speaking of shils that guy (never bothered learning his name) appears again shilling WWF JACKETS. This is the kind of stuff that makes 1995 WWF feel really childish and doesn't fit with what's about to happen. No finish as Diesel walks out (IN STREET CLOTHES) and asks for a microphone. Diesel then cuts a groundbreaking promo where he says "I'm not some corporate puppet anymore, VINCE!" to McMahon who isn't evern acknowledged as the owner of the company at this time. He'll still smack hands with the fans but only if they have black glove on them! He's not a good guy or a bad guy, he's something inbetween. A tweener, if you like. Great interview!

Shawn Michaels vs Owen Hart - They're having a very good match when suddenly Shawn collapses. The commentary stops pretty quickly. Owen even looks a bit concerned. Vince McMahon gets in the ring. The picture goes out for a moment. They do everything to make you think that this isn't part of the show. We see shots of girls crying in the audience. Of course it was all planned, but it's very well executed. Great angle.

Big shows from both companies this week, but RAW was definitely the winner!


WCW World War 3

There's three rings set up because of the main event being a 60 man battle royal. That must have been annoying for fans sitting next to one of the rings people weren't wrestling in.

Johnny B. Badd vs DDP - The TV title feud rages on. I still hate Nick Patrick and his crappy slow counts. Badd wins a good match with a slingshot legdrop. The Diamond Doll no longer works for DDP because of this victory and she hugs Badd in thanks after.

Big Bubba vs Hacksaw Jim Duggan - This is a "taped fist" match. Which is dumb. They fight into another ring which the fans sitting next to it appreciate. They punch each other a lot. There's one part where Bubba hits the ropes and Hacksaw just holds his fist straight out and Bubba runs into it. Bubba wins by knockout after hitting Hacksaw with a chain tossed to him by V.K Wallstreet. It was what it was. Heenan and Schiavone are sitting on a silly little table right up against the ring which seems stupid to me (Bubba almost rolls on top of them after the match.)

Bull Nakano and Akira Hokuto vs Mayumi Ozaki and Cutie Suzuki - Mike Tenay joins the announce team as he knows about Japanese women! Heenan takes the Mr Perfect role of making sexist and racist jokes. Starts pretty slow but gets more entertaining as it goes along. Nakano pins Ozaki with a toprope legdrop after a lot of big moves. Heenan does put it over as a great match in the end.

Kensuki Sasaki vs Chris Benoit - Sasaki won the US title from Sting in Japan and is defending against the man who beat him on Nitro a few weeks earlier. Again Benoit is announced as a member of the Four Horsemen even though he's never seen with them on tv and the fans cheer him like a face. Sasaki is married to Akira Hokuto who wrestled in the previous match, so there's some trivia for you! Starts off slow without much crowd heat. Things pick up when Sasaki hits a press slam and Benoit comes back with a crazy tope to the floor. Then it slows down again when Benoit puts a headscissors on. The camera then shows Sonny Ono talking at ringside rather than the action in the ring. Benoit tries the rolling germans but Sasaki cuts him off with a lariat. Benoit hits a tombstone and a sick diving headbutt for two. Sasaki hits a crazy one-armed powerbomb. Sasaki gets the ring with a brainbuster. Good match in the end (if you forget what eventually happened to Benoit because of all the shit he put his body through...sometimes it's hard to.)

Mene Gene tells The Giant that "his father" would be ashamed of him. I hate that shit.

Randy Savage vs Lex Luger - Savage goes into the match with an arm injury. Savage dominates, hits the elbow, but Jimmy Hart distracts the referee. Luger gets the Rack on outside the ring then gets the knockout win with an armbar. Short match. Sting runs out after and talks Luger out of continuing to hurt Savage.

Sting vs Ric Flair - They wrestle in ring 2 which is nice for the fans sitting close to that ring! Flair keeps swapping rings in an attempt to...confuse Sting? I don't know. Colonel Parker and Sherri come out to watch the match. Flair expertly draws the referee's attention to hit a low blow. Flair works the leg and gets the figure four on, but we all know he never wins with that. I'm really growing to hate the "Flair goes to the top rope and gets slammed off" spot appearing in EVERY ONE OF HIS MATCHES. It's one of four press slams Sting hits. Sting gets the win with the Scorpion Deathlock. Entertaining enough match but again if you've seen any previous Sting/Flair match there was nothing new here.

Hogan is interviewed and he's back in red and yellow. But what about the darkside, brother?

60 man battle royal - 20 men in each ring to start with a different commentary team on each ring. Quite a few jobbers in there. Hogan comes out last, of course. Only credible winners would be Hogan, Savage, Sting, Flair, Giant or Luger I'd say. Steven Regal makes funny faces behind Michael Buffer during the introduction. It is, of course, impossible to follow what's happening with three battle royals going on at once. Even with a three way split screen. This is stupid. The Yeti is eliminated early and keeps destroying guys outside the ring. Way too long with all three rings and it's boring. Big Train Bart gets eliminated. What a shocker! Seriously this is boring as fuck. It's the longest match ever. I'm typing random things because I'm so bored. Eventually one ring is emptied of enough people merge with ring number one. But watching two rings is still pretty boring. Eventually when there's 30 men left they all go into ring one. So we're only half way done and I'm alreayd in a coma. At least it isn't a split screen anymore. Brian Pillman makes awesome faces choking Hogan. Hacksaw eliminates Big Bubba for revenge for the earlier loss. Macho Man and Luger go into one of the empty rings to fight each other. DDP and Badd eliminate each other. Even down to less than 20 men it's still boring. Eddie Guerrero makes it to the final nine before being eliminated. Luger and Sting have the Giant halfway out so Hogan runs over like a coward and pushes all three out. Giant pulls Hogan out under the ropes and the referee thinks he's eliminated. At the same time Savage eliminates One Man Gang to win the match. Really terribly booked finish as it wasn't clear what was even happening. The fans boo Macho's win because Hogan wasn't eliminated. The backstage story here is that Hogan changed the finish DURING THE MATCH so that he wasn't cleanly eliminated and totally ruined his "friend" Randy Savage's moment. What a cunt. Total clusterfuck of a match.

Typical WCW ppv with a decent undercard and terrible main event!
 
ANOTHER HOT UPDATE

27/11/95

Nitro

Johnny B. Badd vs DDP - Badd has the Diamond Doll with him now. Because women are property. DDP gives the Diamond Doll flowers to WIN HER OVER and she looks confused because she's just a stupid woman. There's a chain in the flowers and DDP asks Diamon Doll to toss it to him but she tosses it between DDP's legs to Badd who punches out DDP for the win. BUT WAS IT ON PURPOSE.

Kevin Sullivan is angry at Jimmy Hart because of Lex Luger being friends with Sting.

Bull Nakano and Akira Hokuto vs Mayumi Ozaki and Cutie Suzuki - Rematch from the night before! Hokuto pins Suzuki with a brainbuster in another really strong match between these teams.

Hulk Hogan vs Hugh Morrus - 20 years before he was being fired from developmental for abusing students, Bill DeMott was HUGH MORRUS! Hogan is in red and yellow like the whole "darkside" thing never happened. Still getting booed by some of the fans. Hogan wins a short match with the legdrop.

Mean Gene interviews Macho Man. Of course his good friend Hulk Hogan has to come out and point out that Savage didn't really win because Hogan wasn't eliminated. The footage of Hogan's controversial elimination MYSTERIOUSLY cuts out and The Giant come out and chokeslams Savage on the floor. Sting runs out to save Hogan and Hogan hits The Giant with a chair several times like a coward.

Sting and Lex Luger vs Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman - I do like the "Sting and Luger are friends across face/heel divide" storyline! Fans just cheer Luger like he's a good guy anyway. Sting pins Pillman with a roll-up. Ric Flair then attacks Luger and the three Horsemen work over him and Sting. Where's Benoit? Hogan makes the save. String stops Hogan from punching Luger, which seems fair since Luger just got beat up by three guys.

RAW

Recap of the Shawn Michaels situation at the start.

Ahmed Johnson vs Rad Radford - Ahmed still shows a lot of promise! Ahmed wins with the tigerbomb/Pearl River Plunge which Vince just calls "devastating!" and "oh my goodness!" and "that was impressive!" Ahmed and Dean Douglas have an argument after to set up a match at the next ppv. Ahmed wants to fight RIGHT NOW but the referees pull Douglas away.

Vince reveals that Shawn's collapse was due to "post concussion syndrome." Maybe the WWF should test their performers for concussion!

Aja Kong and Watanabe vs Alundra Blaze and Kyoko Inoue - A Japanese women's tag match, just like Nitro. The Nitro match was better but this one is pretty good too. Kong pins Inoue. Vince McMahon goes COMPLETELY INSANE during the match by saying "Aja Kong, much like Princess Di is a fan of safe sex!" Seriously. Even Lawler (who spends the whole match talking about how ugly the women are) asks him what the fuck he's talking about.

The Brother Love show with Bret Hart. This is the return of Brother Love after several years away. I'm not sure why. I always skipped everything he did when I was a child. Brother Love keeps talking, Bret eventually grabs the microphone and tells him to shut up and says some stuff. Bob Backulund eventually attacks Bret from behind and puts him in the Crossface Chickenwing.

Triple H vs Jobber - Henry Godwinn appears in a video with his pigs and they have a hog pen match at the next ppv. Exciting. Vince is still saying HHH is "undefeated" despite him being pinned by Undertaker at Survivor Series. HHH wins with the Pedigree obviously.

Owen Hart says he's proud of himself for concussing Shawn Michaels!

The Undertaker vs Sir Mo - This is supposed to be Undertaker vs Kama with the remains of the urn on the line(!) but Kama comes out on crutches. Ted Dibiase says Kama can't compete so Sir Mo replaces him. Kama attacks Undertaker outside the ring. There's nothing wrong with his leg! Sir Mo is short, fat and not credible against The Undertaker. Taker throws Kama into the steps and pins Mo with a chokeslam. Mable comes out and stares at the Undertaker a bit. Taker takes the remains of the urn back, but Yokozuna distracts him and Mable steals the urn. This is tedious!

Nitro wins.


4/12/95

Nitro

Harlem Heat vs American Males - Harlem Heat are the tag champions again. I don't konw when that happened. American Males get booed coming out. Robert Parker gives Sherri a present during the match. Booker misses an elbow drop but then SPINAROONIES back up and hits a sidekick! Sherri leaves with Parker during the match to have sex I guess. Bischoff points out that Bagwell has put on some upper body weight. You could say he's...Buff. Booker hits the Harlem Hangover on Buff to win.

Mean Gena interviews Sting and Lex Luger. They're friends but they both want to be world champion.

Sting vs Kurasawa - Stings wins quickly with the Scorpion Deathlock.

The Giant vs Scott Norton - Norton picks Giant up as Giant holds him in a headlock, which gets a nice crowd reaction. Giant wins with a big Chokeslam. I know he's a lot older now but the present day Chokeslams never look as impressive as this.

Mean Gene interviews Ric Flair. Some tall sports guy (Sir Charles?) comes out with him. I don't give a fuck about American sports stars from 1995. I'm skipping this, sorry.

Randy Savage vs Lex Luger - This is a world championship match on Nitro. I don't think RAW's had one of those yet. Bischoff keeps saying that the "C" in "WCW" stands for "Commitment". But it stands for "Championship", Eric. Savage works over Luger's arm in a reversal of World War 3. He works the arm for a really long time, actually. Luger eventually makes a comeback after Savage dives into the barricade. Luger keeps selling the arm when he's in control. TAKE NOTE, CENA. Jimmy Hart takes a turnbuckle pad off but Savage reverses Luger into it and hits the top rope elbow. Ric Flair comes out and hits Savage with a foreign object. Hogan of course comes out to steal the spotlight! He stops the referee from counting Luger's pinfall on Savage and Savage is DQ'd. Hogan then accidentally punches Sting. The fans boo Hogan again which always makes me angry. Then Hogan's all "YOU CAN'T BE FRIENDS WITH LUGER IF YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH ME, STINGER!" What a dick.

RAW

The British Bulldog vs Bob "Sparkplug" Holly - Bulldog wins with the powerslam.

Jerry Lawler interviews Bob Backlund. Backlund says "I want to be God again" by beating Bret Hart for the title. Vince calls for the sound to be cut.

Fatu vs Brooklyn Brawler - Always good to see Brooklyn Brawler! Fatu wins with the top rope splash.

Bob Backlund puts the Crossface Chickenwing on the sound man for cutting off his interview earlier.

Razor Ramon vs Dean Douglas - Razor wins with the Razor's Edge. Vince calls it "a decisive victory." Douglas is done. Vince keeps promising "a disturbing interviews" with Shawn Michaels' doctor.

Brother Love interviews King Mabel. I still can't stand Brother Love and not just in a "he's a good heel" way. Mabel struggles to speak. A casket comes down to the ring to The Undertaker's music.but it's actually Mo who brought it out and Mo and Brother Love have made a custom graffiti casket for Mabel. This is fucking shit. Mabel saying "loooooove" in a Brother Love voice is the only good part.

Marty Jannetty vs Sycho Sid - Jannetty hits DIAMOND DUST again which is impressive for 1995 WWF! The 1-2-3 Kid runs in to attack Marty but Razor Ramon makes the save. Razor chases the Kid through the crowd. Sid powerbombs Jannetty in the ring (the match ended on DQ I guess.)

Todd Pettingzoo talks to Shawn's doctor, Jeffrey Unger. He doesn't know if Shawn can ever return to the ring. Any blows to the head could be life threatening! I guess he'll be retiring then! A sad video follows with a voiceover from Vince saying that we see wrestlers as better than us but they're actually just people like us and can be injured. This is cheesey as fuck.

Nitro wins again.


11/12/95

Nitro

Eddie Guerrero vs Jerry Lynn - He's listed as Jerry Lynn now but he's still being called JL on the show. Whatever! The match starts while the Bischoff, Mongo and Heenan are still introducing the show. Eddie wins a good match after a pinfall reversal sequence. Eddie is still very popular with the fans and being pushed as a future star by the announcers.

The Starrcade advert is super racist. "From the mysteries of the orient, it's an invasion from the land of the rising sun!"

Disco Inferno vs Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndoff - Ondoff has the most hilariously bad music ever. Bobby Heenan loves it. Orndoff looks out and has one arm smaller than the other due to neck problems. Probably not a good idea for him to still be wrestling at this point. Orndoff does some disco dancing which is funny then wins with a back suplex.

Mean Gene interviews Ric Flair, Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman of the Four Horsemen. Yep, Chris Benoit is kept seperate from them AGAIN. Why is he even a Horseman? We're in Flair's hometown so he gets cheered (he gets cheered other places too of course.) Pillman starts dissing Paul Orndoff during the interview so Orndoff comes out and says the only reason Pillman is a Horseman is because he turned them down. Orndoff tries to attack Pillman so the Three Horsemen beat him down and give him a spike piledriver on the concrete. I wonder if this was a career ending angle? I could look it up but I'm sure we'll find out in a future show! Orndoff is put in a neck brace and taken away on a stretcher.

Lex Luger vs Hacksaw Jim Duggan - Duggan dominates the whole match until Jimmy Hart distracts him and Luger hits him from behind and puts him in the Rack. And yet the fans cheer Luger. Weird.

Mean Gene interviews Randy Savage. He will defend against The Giant next week. I suspect that won't have a clean finish.

Hulk Hogan and Sting vs Ric Flair and Arn Anderson - "Hogan sucks" chant at the start and he looks angry. Bischoff and friends just completely ignore all the boos for Hogan, but do mention the fans enjoy seeing Flair in there. Hogan of course still plays the babyface because he's Hogan. Luger attacks Hogan outside the ring and puts him in the Rack (to cheers lol.) Oh yeah, Flair takes several press slams from Sting, like always. Hogan does his usual no-sell and legdrop routine to win to huge boos. And it's not just because the fans are pro-Horsemen as Sting doesn't get booed anywhere near as bad as Hogan. They just hate Hogan! Entertaining match. Pillman runs in after but Sting clears house then accidentally hits Savage when he runs in. It's all falling apart between Hogan, Sting and Savage!

RAW

Owen Hart vs Jeff Hardy - Jeff is just a jobber here and holy shit he must have been young. Jeff takes a cool bump off an Owen clothesline then Owen wins with a missile dropkick. Yokozuna gives Jeff a Banzai Drop after, just for fun. Then Owen puts him in a Sharpshooter. I doubt we'll ever see that youngster again! Diesel runs out and takes out Yokozuna. He's wrestling Owen this Sunday!

Chaparita Asari vs Aja Kong - Jerry Lawler instantly starts talking about how ugly Aja Kong is. Kong hits a sick package piledriver but pulls her much smaller opponent up before the three. Lawler is now talking about Kong ate a rapper named Fat Boy to death. Asari misses the Star-Twister Press (which Lawler just talks over) and Kong wins with a spinning backfist.

Todd Pettingzoo interviews Shawn Michaels. And gushes all over him. Todd points out that Shawn has never been WWF champion and Shawn indicates that he wants to be one day. Shawn does his serious fave when Todd brings up retirement and says this interview is just about Todd trying to get his reaction to that question. Shawn refuses to answer the question.

Ahmed Johnson vs Jobber - Ahmed wins with the Pearl River Plunge. Lawler interviews Ahmed again after. Ahmed says he's not a man of words. Which is just as well.

Vince interviews the 1-2-3 Kid, Sid and the Million Dollar Man. Kid isn't exactly a great interview at this point. Sid is better, in his own insane way.

Bret Hard vs Bob Backlund - It's a non title match. Bret's sister (and Bulldog's wife) Diana is watching. Lawler interviews her during the match. She doesn't say much interesting but she does give credit to Jim Cornette for getting Bulldog a title shot. Match is pretty slow because of Bob Backlund being pretty slow. Backlund works over Bret's arm. For a long time. I remember Bret saying in his book that he didn't enjoy working with Backlund. I can see why. Bret eventually makes a comeback and Bulldog runs in for a DQ. Backlund puts Bret in the Chickenwing and Bulldog stomps him. Boring match.

Nitro wins again.
 
In Your House 5

From Hershey, Pennsylvania so there's ECW fans in the house. No Jim Ross on commentary this time.

Santa and The Smoking Gunns are giving out presents together. It's 1995.

Razor Ramon and Marty Jannetty vs Sycho Sid and The 1-2-3 Kid - Razor and Marty are wearing leather jackets. Goldust is watching the match. Kid keeps running away or tagging Sid whenever Razor is in, then comes in once Razor is hurt. It's good basic heeling! Someone in the crowd holds up a "Bert Hart" sign. Someone else holds up a huge "MARTY MUST DIE" sign when he comes in. This is a strange crowd. Todd interviews Goldust during the match and he talks about how he finds Razor Ramon fucking hot. Razor pins Sid with a second rope bulldog. He tries to give the Kid a Razor's Edge after but Sid pulls Kid out of the ring. Someone holds up a "HELLO ECW FANS" sign after.

DOUBLE J JEFF JARRETT returns for the first time since walking out on the company back in July. Jerry Lawler presents Jarrett with a gold CD. The Double J character is pretty tedious. He declares himself the first entry in the 1996 Royal Rumble. No one cares.

Ahmed Johnson vs Nature Boy Buddy Landell - Dean Douglas reveals he has a back injury and can't wrestle. I'm pretty sure this was his last appearance for the company so I'm not sure why they didn't just job him to Ahmed, unless it was a legit injury. Buddy Landell comes out as his replacement. To Ric Flair's music. And he looks a bit like Ric Flair. I know Flair took the gimmick from Buddy Rogers originally but this seems like an obvious shot at WCW. Ahmed squashes Landell is seconds. Lawler does his usual interview with Ahmed after the match, but this time Jeff Jarrett breaks his gold record over Ahmed's head then beats him up with a steel chair. Even after that Ahmed starts no selling and chases Jarrett down the aisle.

Todd gives Razor a letter from Goldust. Razor reads it and is disgusted.

Triple H vs Henry Godwinn in a Hog Pen Match - Hillbilly Jim is the special guest referee, naturally. There's a hog pen with actual pigs and pig shit set up. The match starts in the ring. Five fans hold up signs spelling out "H O G A N". Godwinn rubs slop in HHH's face. Godwinn eventually carries HHH to the hog pen but they keep fighting for a while outside it. They do a DRAMATIC TEASE of HHH nearly being backdropped into the hog pen. They end up going back to the ring, which means the match is going to last ever longer. HHH takes some good bumps at least. Finally HHH backdrops Godwinn into the hog pen to win. Then Godwinn gives him a press slam into the hog pen anyway. And HHH's back is bleeding from being Irish whipped into the hog pen door. HHH takes some comedy pratfalls in the mud after. Probably not a good night for HHH!

Diesel vs Owen Hart - They could have given Owen a big push for being the one who supposedly put Shawn Michaels out of action. Instead the match is all about Diesel's new attitude. Diesel hits the powerbomb then shoves the referee down and hits another. So Owen "wins" by DQ but Diesel is the one left standing and Vince says "there's the winner for you!"

Savio Vega and Santa are giving out gifts to the fans when the Million Dollar Man comes out and says "bah humbug!" He offers to buy Savio Vega but he turns it down as Jerry Lawler makes racist remarks. Then Santa turns heel on Savio and hits him with his sack. Really. Vince: "That can't be the real Santa Claus! Say it's not so!" Savio attacks him up the aisle and his beard comes off and Vince says "that's not Santa Claus!" All of this really happened.

The Undertaker vs King Mabel in a Casket Match - Mabel hits a legdrop and splash and Mo puts Taker in the casket but Mabel won't close the lid until he's got his crown on. Undertaker makes a comeback, chokeslams Mabel and kicks him into the casket. He chokeslams Mo and puts him in too and finally regains the remains of the Urn (yes that story's still going!) and wins. Okay let's hope this feud is over forever.

Bret Hart vs British Bulldog - Good match from the start, the best the Bulldog's looked in the ring since I started this review thread. A fairly loud "ECW" chant breaks out at one point. I hate it when Americans say "Merry Old England." Bret hits a GOOD piledriver for a two count. Bret goes for a top rope superplex but Bulldog crotches him on the top rope. Bulldog bashes Bret face first into the steps and Bret ends up bleeding. This is one of those times when Bret bladed even though it was banned then fooled Vince into thinking it was hardway blood. He was crafty! There's lots of blood and the ECW fans start chanting "he's hardcore!" Bulldog hits his own piledriver for two. Bulldog hits a top rope headbutt to Bret's ass. Bulldog beats down Bret until Bret gets a desperate German suplex for two. Bret dives on Bulldog over the top rope and bleeds all over him, but Bulldog catches a second dive and hits a running powerslam on the floor. Bulldog pulls up the safety mat and goes for a suplex on the floor but Bret counters by crotching him on the guardrail. Bret hits the top rope superplex this time but only for two. Bret gets a surprise La Magistral cradle for the win. Diana has been watching the match the entire time with the same stupid look on her face. She didn't add much really! Match got really great in the end and Bret's blood loss added a lot to the drama. I guess they'll never bring back blading in 2015 and I understand the reasons why but it's kind of a shame.

Main event was great, everything else was skippable.
 
18/12/1995

Nitro

We start with Alundra Blaze (now known as Medusa!) coming out to the announce table and dropping the WWF Women's championship belt in a trashcan. Well! That's quite the start. Of course this only happened because Vince McMahon fired her while she was still champion. That was a dumb move by him. This ended up getting WCW in legal trouble.

Ric Flair vs Eddie Guerrero - Mongo calls Eddie a "Mexican bandit" which is pretty offensive. Flair keeps stalling and strutting so Eddie dropkicks him. Eddie dominates until Flair knocks Eddie off the top to the floor and Eddie hurts his knee. Flair gets the figure four on in the ring. Eddie won't quit but passes out and Flair pins him.

Flair and Arn Anderson are interview after. Kevin Sullivan interrupts them and warns them that Brian Pillman is a "loose cannon" and tells them to keep him in line.

Craig Pitbull Pittman comes out to the announce table and asks Bobby Heenan to become his manager and manage him to the world title. Bobby says he doesn't manage any more but he'll help him out.

Lex Luger vs Marcus Bagwell - Luger wins with the Torture Rack.

Sting vs Earl Robert Eaton - Mongo says "knock the Great Britain out of this guy, Stinger!" I fucking hate Mongo. Eaton hits Sheamus' Irish Curse backbreaker. Maybe he invented it! Sting wins with the Scorpion Deathlock.

Sting says in an interview that "won't forget what Flair did to those little kids out there." Uhh?

Randy Savage vs The Giant - Giant dominates with Savage only getting desperation offense in. Giant goes to the top rope(!) and misses a splash and Savage hits the flying elbow...for two. Giant does the super kickout that throws Savage into the air then dropkicks him. Giant goes for a suplex on the concret but Savage holds the rope and Giant hits the concrete. He no sells it and hits the Chokeslam in the ring, but Hulk Hogan makes the save with a chair giving Giant the win by DQ. Hogan hits a referee with a chair after. Sadly the fans start chanting for Hogan again. It was quite promsiing how they'd been booing him lately but I guess they never learn! Mean Gene tries to interview Hogan after but Giant and Kevin Sullivan come back out so Hogan goes nuts and hits them with chairshots. Savage promises Hogan he'll give him a title match in the future after all this upcoming matches.

RAW

Jeff Jarrett vs Fatu - A pretty devent match which is ruined by Ahmed Johnson attacking Jarrett for the DQ.

Goldust uses movie quotes to say that he wants to shag Razor Ramon.

Bob Holly vs Buddy Landell - Landell wins clean in a decent match with a corkscrew elbow drop. I don't think he was around for long after this which makes him the latest in a long line of wrestling getting mini pushes in 1995 WWF then just disappearing.

Brother Love show with Million Dollar Man. He reveals that it was really Xanta Claus from the South Pole last night, not the real Santa. HOLY SHIT THIS IS TERRIBLE. He predicts that 1996 will be the "year of the Million Dollar champion." I wonder who it could be!

Razor Ramon vs Yokozuna - IC title is on the line! Goldust's glitter falls on Razor before the match. He's distracted by GAY PANIC and Yoko attacks him. The Undertaker comes out with a coffin "coming to claim Yokozuna's soul" according to Vince. Yokozuna runs away and is counted out. Sign in the crowd "Yo, GAYdust, Razor Ramon's gonna carve you up." Razor says in an interview after that he only likes women.

Show ends with a the rather famous "tell me a lie" music video for Shawn Michaels. I can't imagine what my reaction was watching this is a 14 year old in 1995.

Nitro wins.


25/12/1995

Nitro

Yep, they actually did a Nitro on Christmas day. Pretty sure it isn't live though.

Lex Luger vs Scotty Riggs - Luger takes on the other American Male after wrestling Bagwell the week before. Riggs hits A LOT of armdrags. Luger wins with the Torture Rack, as you might expect.

Sting is tired of Mean Gene asking him what's up with him and Luger.

Sting vs Big Bubba - Sting wins with a small package.

Mean Gene interviews Luger who says he's the uncrowned champion. Craig Pittman comes out during the interview and asks Jimmy Hart to manage him. Hart makes Pittman take his shirt off and says he doesn't have as good a body as Lex Luger so he won't manage him.

Dean Malenko vs Mister JL - A short match but they pack a lot of crisp moves in. Malenko gets the win with a super gutbuster from the second rope and a leglock.

Mean Gene interviews Ric Flair. Jimmy Hart comes out and thanks Flair for saving his life when Randy Savage tried to kill him a few weeks ago and says that a Lannister (well, a Hart) always pays his debts.

Randy Savage vs Ric Flair - The WCW title is defended on Nitro often! Bischoff straight up says "they're leaving the WWF in droves to come to WCW" during the match. A good match, better than the samey Sting/Flair matches, but it ends lamely with Lex Luger attacking Savage after Savage punches Jimmy Hart. Sting then runs in to attack and press slam (of course!) Flair then gets slappy with Savage.


Starrcade 1995

There's a lot of matches on this show and I suspect some of them are going to be very short. NEW JAPAN INVADES WCW. Heenan, Tony and DUSTY RHODES are on commentary and Dusty promises that there's gonig to be some "clubberin'!"

Chris Benoit vs Jushin Liger - Liger's still wrestling today and he's still great. Benoit...well he was good in 1995. Benoit hits the diving headbutt but Kevin Sullivan comes out and distracts Benoit (because he's mad about Brian Pillman or something.) Liger gets the win with a kind of poorly executed rana. Great match until the bad finish. Heenan is funny cheering Liger's win then acting like he didn't.

Koji Kanemoto vs Alex Wright - Kanemoto gets the win with a roll-up in another good match with lots of dives. New Japan is 2-0!

Lex Luger vs Masahiro Chono - Fans are rabidly pro Luger despite him being a heel. Match has a lot of stalling. Chono gets the STF on but Luger makes the ropes. Dusty goes on a crazy rant about how the name "Mafia Kick" makes no sense. Luger gets the win out of nowhere with the Torture Rack. Not a good match.

Saito vs Johnny B. Badd - They get into a stiff slap fight. Badd wins by DQ when Saito throws him over the top rope, as WCW had that dumb rule at this time. Weird match.

Eddie Guerrero vs Shinjiro Ohtani - Eddie hits a great springboard bodyblock from the top rope to the floor. Ohtani gets the pin after a pinfall reversal sequence. Another very good match.

Tenzan vs Randy Savage - Standard low level Savage match where he gets destroyed for six minutes then hits one move out of nowhere and gets the flying elbow for the pin. Pretty bad. It's 3-3 now.

Sting vs Kensuki Sasaki - Sting wins a decent but short match with the Scorpion Deathlock. WCW wins the World Cup of Wrestling! But, you know, New Japan is the best company in the world today and WCW doesn't exist anymore. So I think we all know who the real winner was! Mean Gene presents Team WCW with the cup afterwards.

Triangle Match: Sting vs Lex Luger vs Ric Flair - This isn't a proper triple threat match with all three in the ring at once. Instead you've got one guy standing on the apron while the other two fight. Winner meets Randy Savage right after, which means if Luger or Sting win they'll have wrestled three times tonight. Sting and Flair start. Sting hits a press slam on Flair almost right away. It's as if they know I'm watching! They do have a good match though,doing more things than normal. And more press slams. Sting eventually tags in Luger who scares Flair with his big muscles. Even Luger press slames Flair and Tony states "he's been up there all night!" Flair works over Luger's legs and hits some lowblows after taunting Sting. He gets the Figure Four on but Luger escapes and gives Flair his fifth press slam of the match. Flair realises he can't beat Luger and tags in Sting. The best friends finally go at it! Sting and Luger stall for quite a while and kind of kill the crowd. They finally go at it but it's not as entertaining as the Flair matches. The fans are completely silent as Luger beats down Sting. Luger gets Sting in the Rack, the ref is accidentally bumped, Flair takes out Luger's leg and throws Sting over the top rope. The referee counts both Sting and Luger out. This started off as a very strong match but ran out of a lot of steam by the end and the finish was weak.

Randy Savage vs Ric Flair - Mr Wonderful comes out in a neck brace during the match. Flair works over Savage's injured arm. Savage goes for two pins attempts after a single punch. Flair takes a couple of backdrops. Like always. Jimmy Hart (who stayed at ringside and is now cheering on Flair) tosses his megaphone to Flair, but Savage gets it and hits Flair, busting him wide open baby (as Dusty puts it.) Pillman and Benoit (finally with the Horsemen!) run and Savage beats them up but Arn Anderson hits Savage with brass knuckles and Flair gets the pin. Flair is bleeding a crazy amount! Short match, not really very good, but the blood-soaked Flair celebrating with the belt is a memorable visual.

This show had three great matches and everything else was at least fairly entertaining. Plus insane Dusty commentary and no Hulk Hogan. So a good show on the whole.
 
1/1/1996

Nitro

Randy Savage vs Arn Anderson - Savage is looking for revenge for what happened at Starrcade. Bischoff spoils that the Smoking Gunns won the "Raw Bowl" (which isn't on the Network for some reason) and Mongo calls it "the kitty cat league." What does that even MEAN? Arn does a cool spot where he acts like he's going to throw a punch and when Savage ducks it he gives him a DDT. Arn pulls out brass knuckles but Savage gets them and hits Anderson for the win. Pillman and Benoit complain to the referee after.

Lord Steven Regal vs Chris Benoit - Great technical wrestling but also some super stiff blows as these two liked beating the shit out of each other. Benoit hits a tombstone but misses a dive to the floor and Regal rolls him back in for the pin. The increasingly crazy Brian Pillman tells off Anderson and Benoit for losing. Kevin Sullivan and Zodiac come out but Jimmy Hart and The Giant hold them back.

Lex Luger and Sting vs The Super Assassins - The Super Assassins are just two bitg guys in masks managed by Robert Parker. Craig Pittman comes out yet again and this time asks Mongo to be his manager. He must be desperate. Luger makes on of the Assassins submit to the Rack while Sting has the other in the Scorpion.

The Giant says tonight is the night he'll get revenge on Hulk Hogan. Talk about giving away the finish of the main event.

Ric Flair vs Hulk Hogan - Anothe world title match on Nitro. The problem is that it's obvious there isn't going be a proper finish. Hogan Hulks Up after a suplex. He hits the legdrop and Arn Anderson hits Hogan with the foreign object but Hogan no sells because he's Hogan. All four Horesmen beg off from Hogan and Randy Savage hits The Giant with a stool. Then Zodiac starts talking! Apparently he's never spoken before. Okay. This was all very Nitro.


8/1/1996

Nitro

Chris Benoit vs Alex Wright - Benoit dominates with his INTENSITY. Wright makes a high flying comeback and goes for a submission with a Boston crab. Pillman trips Wright and Wright dives over the top onto him. Benoit hits a Dragon Suplex for the pin. Good match. Bischoff spends the whole match running down the WWF which is a bit tedious. But it was war!

Lord Steven Regal vs Eddie Guerrero - Regal's mat wrestling is great. Eddie's isn't too shabby either! Bischoff says "forget about the Royal FUMBLE" during the match and I wish he'd shut up. Regal controls most of the match with Eddie getting in a few hope spots to the keep the fans into it. Eddie gets the surprise win with a backslide out of nowhere. Another very good match.

Mean Gene interview Sting and Lex Luger. Sting accuses Luger of pulling him out of the ring during the triangle match with Flair, causing him to be counted out. Luger says he was just injured and wanted Sting to help him up. Mean Gena keeps shit stirring. Then Sting just randomly agrees to be a tag team with Lex (I thought they already were?) and that settles their differences.

Sting vs DDP - Sting tries a leapfrog but doesn't quite make it over. Sting wins with the Scorpion Deathlock in a decent match.

Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage vs Ric Flair and Arn Anderson - Mongo says the WWF doesn't have "wrestling Gods" like these but "just a bunch of hasbeens" which is pretty ridiculous. Nitro is a better show than RAW at this point but all the annoying potshots on commentary make me want RAW to beat it. I notice Heenan never joins in with the WWF bashing. I'm noticing quite a few boos for Hogan again so that's nice. Savage and Hogan put Flair and Anderson in figure fours at the same time. Savage gets beat down, tags Hogan, he Hulks Up and pins Anderson. Giant chokeslams Hogan and Savage after as Zodiac talks again.


RAW

Haven't seen RAW for a while!

Jeff Jarrett vs Hakushi - Jarrett wins with the figure four. Decent match but I'd rather have seen Hakushi win.

Jim Ross hosts the "Slam Jam" now (an improvment over Handsome Dok Hendrix!) and we see that VADER is coming to the WWF at the Royal Rumble.

Ahmed Johnson vs Jobber - Ahmed kills him. Jeff Jarrett tries to hit Ahmed with a guitar after but misses.

Brother Love Show with the Million Dollar Man. He's going to name the new Million Dollar Champion! And it's...The Ringmaster. What!? Who!? Looks kind of like Steve Austin with short hair in green trunks. Vince says "this man's skills are very well known!" but won't say his real name. Ringmaster puts the Million Dollar belt on. Then we get the historic moment of Steve austin cutting his first promo on RAW. He holds his hand up to the screen and tell viewers "out there in tv land" to touch the screen to feel what success feels like. He's says "man" too much. Well, there we go. Not exactly a memorable debut but it's safe to say he'll get better.

Goldust vs Aldo Montoya - Goldust wins with the proper Curtain Call.

Earlier today Shawn Michaels conducst a press conference. His doctors told him to quit wrestling! But he's not going to! He's entering the Royal Rumble! I strongly suspect this was a fake press conference. Scheme Gene says he'll give you the name of another Royal Rumbler entry on the hotline. That's right, the WWF's finally hitting back at WCW.

And now for the main event...a replay of Bret Hart vs The British Bulldog from last month. That's right, they're showing a ppv main event on RAW. I don't know if this was a desperate attempt for ratings or what. I'm not watching the match again. It was a great match though!

A Billionaire Ted sketch follows. WCW stars don't have to take tests for steroids unlike the WWF, is the joke. Okay. I'm sure there's no one in the WWF on the steroids!

Nitro wins.


15/1/1995

Nitro

Lex Luger vs Randy Savage - Savage misses the top rople elbow and Luger gets the clean win with the Torture Rack. Savage always comes across as a very vulnerable main eventer who can actually be defeated, in contrast to unstoppable superman Hulk Hogan.

The Dungeon of Doom and the Four Horesmen come out together. They were supposed to be wrestling each other. Arn Anderson explains that he and Kevin Sullivan have come to an agreement to end the war between them. Kevin Sullivan still says Brian Pillman is a punk who has no respect and isn't Horsemen material. Anderon slaps Pillman for mouthing off.

Public Enemy vs American Males - This is Public Enemy's debut and they get a good reaction coming out. Public Enemy win with a roll-up and everyone acts like it's a huge upset. They stack two tables up on top of each other than put Bagwell through them with a senton from the top rope.

Ric Flair vs Sting - Another world title match on Nitro. Sting hits three press slams this time. Seriously the "Flair is thrown off the top" spot is really bad even in 1996. Ending is convoluted as Jimmy Hart gets up on the apron, Lex Luger comes out and pulls the megaphone from Hart, then accidentally hits Sting with it. Flair puts the unconscious Sting in the Figure Four for the win. Hogan and Savage run out after and Mean Gene interviews them and Sting. They try to convince Sting not to trust Luger again. Hogan then gets angry at Savage for losing to Lex Luger so much and says he should get the next title shot at Flair because Savage is such a loser. What a great friend!

Hulk Hogan vs Meng - Boring match with Meng hitting lots of boring chops and chokes. Hogan uses Meng's own metal spike to get the win.


RAW

Preview shows Sunny posing sexily on a pool table. I guess they're trying to be more edgy.

Owen Hart vs Marty Jannetty - I like Owen's belly to belly suplex. Owen wins a decent match with a nice bridging pin combination.

The Todd Pettingzoo Slam Jam things are still painful to watch. He makes a pointless reference to "the cast of Friends" because that was a popular tv show at the time.

Ringmaster vs Matt Hardy - Austin is very smooth in the ring. He hits the Thez Press to no reaction. Young Jobber Matt Hardy looks weird with short hair. Ringmaster gives him a Stun Gun then puts on the Million Dollar Dream for the win.

Hype video for Shawn Michaels returning at the Royal Rumble on Sunday.

The Smoking Gunns vs The Spiders - Match is joined in progress with a few fans chanting "LET'S GO SPIDERS!" The Gunns win with their move about 30 seconds later.

Billionare Ted sketch. WWF isn't for sale! The problem with these sketches (apart from the fact that they aren't very funny) is that Nitro is a better show than RAW every week.

Vince McMahon interviews Goldust. Vince asks if Goldust is trying to "prey upon the homophobic fears of most men, in particular one who oozes machismo like Razor Ramon?" Imagine the WWE calling one of their top babyfaces homophobic in 2015.

The Undertaker vs Isaac Yankem - They've been hyping this up as a big match all night, which is kind of sad since Isaac Yankem is still an EVIL DENTIST. Maybe if he was Undertaker's long lost evil brother this would be a big match. But he's not. He's an evil dentist. Interestingly Yankem goes for a Tombstone on Undertaker. Maybe he really IS Kane disguised as an evil dentist somehow. Undertaker wins with the Tombstone.

Razor gay bashes Goldust backstage. Goldust gives him a low blow and escapes.

Sunny takes a bath. This feels very desperate.

Nitro wins.


Royal Rumble 1996

Jeff Jarrett vs Ahmed Johnson - Vinece and Mr Perfect on commentary. No Jim Ross. Boo. Perfect says Ahmed is "the WWF's own Mike Tyson." Because they're both black? Or he thinks Ahmed is a rapist? Ahmed does a crazy dive to the floor, then misses a flipping senton from the top rope. Jarrett gets the figure four on but Ahmed escapes. Jarrett then comes off the top rope with a guitar, breaking it over Ahmed's head because neither guy can lose at this point I guess. Ahmed no sells it and chases Jarrett away. Okay match.

The Smoking Gunns vs The Body Donnas - Lots of whistling for Sunny from fans. Some good fast paced wrestling to start and some good double team moves from both teams. BIlly Gunn accidentally knocks Sunny off the apron then checks on her but Sunny was faking and it was all a set up! Perfect: "She's not like a lot of women, she's smart!" Learning that Mr Perfect hated women is one of the most disappointing things about this project. The Bodies go for a double suplex on Bart but Billy spears one of them and Bart small packages the other for the three. Good match.

We then got a compliation of Billionaire Ted sketches which Vince seems very proud of.

Razor Ramon vs Goldust - Marlena (Terri Rhunnels) is with Goldust for the first time. Goldust is now doing the whole molestor thing during matches and he feels up Razor's chest hair out of back wasitlock. Razor makes a comeback and slaps Goludst on the ass. Goldust hides behind Marlena several times. Razor uses a low blow to escape a sleeper. Razor makes his comeback and hits his back suplex off the ropes, but Marlena distracts the ref and the 1-2-3 Kid comes off the top with a spinning heel kick on Razor. Goldust gets the pin to win the IC title. Match was kind of weird.

Royal Rumble Match - Triple H is number 1, Henry Godwinn is number 2. Bob Backlund is number 3 and crazy! Jerry Lawler is number 4. Nothing really interesting happening yet. He tries to slop Godwinn but it's turned around against him in an ironic twist of fate. Bob Holly is number 5. Vince says "start your engines!" Number 6 is King Mabel. He's still around then. Jake Roberts makes his return at number 7 to a big reaction. He's fatter than when we last saw him. He scares everyone with his snake and rubs it in Jerry Lawler's face. Lawler hides under the ring after that. Dory Funk Jr. in number 8 to no reaction. Vince says they invited Terry but he didn't show up. So I guess they had to settle on his less interesting brother. Yokozuna is number 9. He eliminates Backlund, the first elimination of the match. Bob Holly hits a Frankensteiner on Henry Godwinn, which is random enough to mention. The Kid is number 10 and Razor Ramon chases him into the ring. "A wild man from Japan, Omari!" is number 11. They don't have enough wrestlers on the regular roster to fill a Rumble match. Savio Verga is number 12. Vince says he'll make a big difference. I doubt it. Yoko eliminates Mabel. Number 13 is VADER TIME. He beats up Savio Vega with some good punches. Number 14 is Doug Gilbert. From USWA. Of course? Jake hits the DDT on Savio and the camera misses it. Then Vader eliminates him. Number 15 is "one of the Squat Team Members" according to Vince. He's a big fat guy. The stars just keep on coming! Vader press slams Gilbert out, then tosses the Squat Team member. We hardly knew them. 16 is "The Other Squat Team Member." See they're identical twins. The go back to the ring together but Vader just stiffs both of them and he and Yoko toss them out again. Actually a fun spot. 17 is Owen Hart. Vader and Yoko double team murder Savio. Number 18 is obvious winner Shawn Michaels. Vader and Yoko start fighting each other, which angers Jim Cornette who manages them both. They fight each other on the ropes then Shawn runs over and tips them both out. That's like something Super Cena would do. He press slams the Kid out as well. Hakushi is 19. Vader goes back in the ring and attacks Shawn and press slams him to the floor. Vince quickly says this doesn't count beause Vader isn't legal. They don't stick to that rule on future years. President Gorilla Monsoon comes out to facedown Vader and he finally leaves. It's weird how they only had Vader eliminate the Squat Team, Doug Gilbert and Jake Roberts, none of them regular members of the roster (maybe he eliminated Vega too I can't remember) but he did look like a star at least for a while. Tatanka is 20. Hakushi hits a nice handspring elbow on Owen but gets dumped shortly after. They always waste Hakushi. Aldo Montoya is 21. Maybe he'll win! Shawn finally finds Jerry Lawler hiding under the ring and drags him back in to eliminate him. Bob Holly keeps going for Shawn which is kind of interesting? Diesel is 22. He quickly eliminates Tatanka then backs into Shawn and hits him too. Kama is 23 to no reaction at all. The Ringmasters is 24. Perfect predicts he'll win. He's one year out. Ringmaster eliminates Bob Holly who lasted a very long time. Barry Horowitz is 25. Shawn and Owen do some good near elimination stuff. Diesel eliminates HHH who lasted about 50 minutes. Good for him! Make A Difference Fatu is 26 to no reaction. Isaac Yankem is 27. Again no reaction from the fans. Owen eliminates Barry then hits the head kick to Shawn, but Shawn reverses Owen and eliminates him. Ringmaster hits Shawn with a good clothesline then mocks the HBK pose. See he had some character even here. Marty Jannetty is 28 (to a small reaction!) He does a sequence with Shawn for continuity. Bulldog is 29 and goes right after Shawn. Fatu eliminates Ringmaster. Years later he'll run him over! Duke "The Dumpster" Droese is number 30. Maybe he'll win! Owen Hart runs back out to attack Shawn outside the ring. Shawn eliminates the evil dentist. The garbage man goes out shortly after. Shawn eliminates Bulldog, Diesel eliminates Kama, Shawn eliminates Diesel with a superkick all in quick succession. It was an okay Rumble. Nothing super great, nothing super bad. The lack of star power was noticable for a while but it wasn't as bad as in the 1995 match. I still feel Vader should have lasted longer. Shawn put in a good performance as you would expect.

An angry Diesel faces down Shawn after the match but they end up high fiving.

Bret Hart vs The Undertaker - Diesel and Undertaker run into each other on Taker's way to the ring and have a bit of a fight. Undertaker is still in his Phantom of the Opera mask. Undertaker beats on Bret to start, including using a CLAW HOLD for an attempted submission. Paul Bearer acts heelishly pushing Bret's foot off the ropes. Taker hits the rope walk then goes back to the claw hold. Bret makes a brief comeback but then gets caught and rammed into the ring post. Bret manages to ram Taker into the post in return but then runs into a big boot. Bret reverses Taker into the ring steps and Taker takes a good bump with his knees hitting the steps and Bret takes control, going to work on the legs. Bret puts the figure four on. Bret works the legs for a really, really, really long time. Undertaker eventually makes a comeback and chokes Bret with an electrical cable while Paul Bearer distracts the ref. He also uses a chair and gets booed a bit. Bret comes back by going for the legs again and the fans boo that because they just watched ten minutes of it. They go back and forth and Bret starts hitting all his usual moves. Undertaker keeps sitting up. Bret goes for the Sharpshooter but Taker counters with a choke. Bret removes the turnbuckle pad then pulls Taker's mask off. He looks like the Undertaker underneath! Taker hits the tombstone almost out of nowhere but Diesel pulls the referee out for the SUPER LAME DQ finish. So Taker wins the match but not the title. Diesel then gives Undertaker the finger! Okay, it was an interesting match but it had a number of problmes. The crap ending for one thing. Bret working the legs for way too long. Undertaker still kind of half doing the no selling zombie act. So it was kind of awkward.

An entertaining ppv on the whole but nothing super great.
 
Yes I'm still doing this.

22/1/1995

Nitro

Konnan makes his first appearance the start of the show. He's the Mexican heavyweight champion, apparently.

Randy Savage vs Ric Flair - Another title match on Nitro! A bunch of women come out with Savage to start. It's mind games! One of them is identified as "Woman" (the future Nancy Benoit.) She has a history with Ric flair. Hulk Hogan comes out and demands the first shot at Savage when he wins the title. Flair just has Jimmy Hart with him. Flair tries to dance with Woman before the match (that name is already annoying to type) but she slaps him. Flair takes one of those really contrived backdrops on the floor. I like Flair but some of the stuff he does looks really...fake? Flair gets the figure four on. Arn Anderson tries to hit Savage with the knux, missses and hits Flair (right in front of the referee), Hogan attacks Anderson, the bell rings, Savage hits the flying elbow, the ref counts the three and the bell rings again(?) and Savage is the champion again after a surprisingly short match.

Dean Malenko vs Brian Pillman - Pillman wins a pretty good match by pinning Malenko while his leg is hooked up in the ropes.

Sting and Lex Luger vs Harlem Heat - Booker hits a nice scissors kick on Sting while he has Stevie Ray in the Scorpion. Jimmy Hart comes out and hands Luger a foreign object. Luger knocks out Booker with a roll of SILVER DOLLARS and they're all lying all over the ring but somehow the referee doesn't see them. Sting and Luger are the new tag champions.

Hulk Hogan vs One Man Gang - OMG is the US champion, apparently. I guess that title didn't mean anything then. Complete squash, effortless win for Hogan with a bodyslam and legdrop. The Horsemen and the Dungeon run in after to fight Hogan and Savage. Pillman keeps encouraging Giant to go after Hogan while everyone else is holding him back.


RAW

The "viewer discretion" thing this time is Sunny playing pool in a short dress. I think I wanked over this at the time (I was fourteen, CAN YOU BLAME ME.) WWF is certainly trying to be more "adult" with Diesel giving the finger, Goldust being super gay and Sunny being presented as wank fodder.

Savio Vega vs Vader - Savio get a brief flurry but this is mostly Vader destroying him with stiff looking shots. He gets the pin with the Vader Bomb. Vader isn't done yet and gives Savio a further Vader Bomb and powerbombs a referee. Gorilla Monsson comes out and faces down Vader. Gorilla suspends Vader indefinitely and Vader gets mad. Gorilla actually hits Vader with a few chops before Vader beats him up and gives him a Vader Bomb. Even Jim Cornette is begging Vader to stop. Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon run out to chase off Vader. Vince starts losing his shit because he's known Gorilla all his life. This is a great debut angle and the best thing I've seen on RAW in a long time!

Hunter Heart Helmsley vs Razor Ramon - HHH has a "hot" woman (she does nothing for me but I'm not normal) with him. That's his new thing. Apparently her name is Shae Marks and Google says she's a Playboy type person. Jerry Lawler interviews her during the match. Match is going fine until the Kid comes out with a baby bottle and feeds it to Razor. Razor chases Kid to the back and is counted out. Razor tries to give Hunter the Razor's Edge after but he runs away.

Vince presents "for comedic purposes" the final episode of Billionaire Ted's Wrasslin' War Room. It's more of the same.

DOK HENDRIX and the RAW BAND are playing. I find Dok Hendrix embarrassing to look at. Vince interviews Shawn Michaels. He's coming after Owen Hart for trash talking him. Shawn's intervies aren't really great. Jim Cornette comes out and says he's not giving Shawn a match with Owen. He says he'll only agree to the match if Shawn puts his WrestleMania title shot on the line. Shawn agrees to put it up.

Bret Hart vs Goldust - Some fans are clearly chanting "faggot" at Goldust at the start of the match. That's 1996! Bret is walking with a limp after hurting his leg against Undertaker the night before. Short match that never gets going. Three ad breaks during the match doesn't really help. Goldust tries to run away but Razor throws him back into the ring. Bret gets the Sharpshooter on and Goldust submits. Surprised they had Goldust lose really since he's been so protected so far. Bret wants Diesel in a steel cage match to get revenge for what happened last night.

This was the best RAW in months so I'm going to give RAW the win over Nitro this week!


Clash Of The Champions XXXII

This was a free tv special rather than a pay per view. Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan are announcing, which is much better than having Bischoff and Mongo there. But disappointing that there's no Dusty.

Public Enemy vs The Nasty Boys - Just a wild brawl from the start with no tags. Rocco is crotched on the guard rail. Nick Patrick eventually just DQs both teams. Rocco moonsaults Knobbs through a table (it doesn't really break.) Saggs throws the table right into Johnny Grunge's head. These guys weren't worried about concussions.

Now WCW is sponsored by Karate Fighters. They jumped ship from WWF!?

Dean Malenko vs Alex Wright - Good chain-wrestling to start as Malenko is amazingly smooth and Wright does a good job keeping up. Malenko goes to work on Wright's leg. Wright hits a high dropkick when Malenko is on the tope rope and a top rope superplex. Wright does a backflip and Malenko instantly dropkicks his leg then rolls him up for the pin. Good match for the time it lasted (about five minutes.)

Kevin Sullivan vs Disco Inferno - Elvis comes out instead of Disco. He delivers a singing telegram from Disco. Sullivan beats him up to a face pop.

Robert Parker is due to marry Sensational Sherri at the Little White Chapel in Vegas. Bunkhouse Buck and Dick Slater reveal that Parker is missing.

Bischoff interviews the new tag team champions Lex Luger and Sting. The returning Road Warriors Hawk and Animal interrupt! They want a title shot. Sting will give them one but Luger says they have to earn it and other teams are more deserving, like...State Patrol. Ha!

Interview with Paul Orndoff, still in a neck brace. He says he turned the Horsemen down and they held it against him. He says "proud" a lot. He's coming back for revenge.

Brian Pillman vs Eddie Guerrero - Lots of stalling from crazy Pillman. Famous moment where Pillman grabs Bobby Heenan from behind and Heenan shouts "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" (it's not even edited) then walks away for a minute. The story here is that Heenan had a history of neck problems and genuinely panicked when Pillman touched him. He apologises for his language. Match is just getting going when Pillman gets the pin with a crossbody and hook of the tights.

Interview with Hogan, Macho and Kevin Greene. I'm skipping it.

Lex Luger and Sting vs The Blue Bloods - Regal's facials are always great and it's always worth mentioning. Luger backs Regal up to the rope sand Regal says "unhand me, unhand me!" Heels beatdown Luger, get makes the hot tag, Sting makes Eaton submit to the Scorpion.

Sherri and Parker have finally both arrived for the wedding. She's not happy that he's gambled all his money away and they needed to have a drive through wedding now.

Bischoff interviews Brian Pillman. He threatens to swear live on air.

Konnan vs Psicosis - Mike Tenay joins the commentary team because Mexicans. Psicosis hits a crazy dive but the match is mostly a showcase for Konnan with loads of armdrag and submission variations. Konnan hits the spider German and gets the submission with...something.

Back to the wedding, Sherri is getting changed in the back of a car. Parker needs to burrow thirty dollars to pay for the wedding. Harlem Heat are there too. Disco Inferno is dancing at the wedding! But before they can get married Medus comes out of Parker's trailer and slaps Sherri. They brawl. Disco steals all the booze. This was all insane.

Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage vs Ric Flair and The Giant - Michael Buffer does the ring intros. Hogan and Savage have Kevin Greene (a football guy), Woman, some other women and MISS ELIZABETH with them! Buffer says "back after over half a decade!" but I remember her appearing for the WWF in 1992. So really it's been less than four years. Lots of stalling involving football guy to start. I guess this was a big deal at the time. Flair and Savage do their usual stuff. Hogan sells for The Giant. Hogan comes back and bodyslams him. He Hulks Up after a Flair suplex to keep the Giant looking strong, maybe. He eventually tags Savage back in and Flair pins Savage after hitting him with brass knux. The backstory here is (according to Wikipedia anyway) that Flair threatened to walk out on the company if he lost again so they ending was changed to him pinning Savage. Miss Elizabeth did nothing the whole match by the way.

This felt more like an extended Nitro than a ppv, which makes sense I guess since it was a free tv show. But nothing really essential on it other than Heenan freaking out.


29/1/1996

Nitro

Hulk Hogan vs Ric Flair - Miss Elizabeth is with Hogan. She just always looks really nervous. Fans are very much into this match. Lots of the usual stuff from both guys, but it's a better longer than the usual tv match. Flair gets the figure four on but he never wins with that. Hogan hits the legdrop but Hart distractst he ref and Arn Anderson runs in. Flair hits Hogan in the eye with the heel of Elizabeth's shoe (lol) and actually gets the pin. Pretty entertaining match and Hogan actually losing for once certainly helped.

The Road Warriors vs The Faces of Fear - Faces of Fear are Meng and The Barbarian. I never understood why Hawk is immune to the piledriver. Actually a fairly long match too with the Faces of Fear dominating most of it with their power moves and nerve holds. They mess up a spot where Barbarian comes off the second rope and repeat it right away. Animal gets beaten up a lot before Hawk pins Barbarian with a clotheslin from the top rope.

Mean Gene interviews the Dungeon of Doom. Kevin Sullivan still has a problem with the Four Horsemen because of Brian Pillman being crazy. Anderson and Pillman come out and Arn says he's going to use tough love on Pillman now. He goes to whip Pillman with his belt but Sullivan and Hugh Morrus attack Anderson. Then Sullivan whips Pillman with the belt.

Sherri Martel vs Medusa - They have a wild brawl and Medusa hits some stiff kicks. Sherri getst he pin with a roll up. This does not seem like a step up from what Medusa was doing in the WWF. Medusa destroys Sherri after.

Randy Savage vs The Giant - Another World title match on Nitro! All the women come out and distract the Giant and Savage sneaks in through the crowd and hits Giant with the belt for the instant DQ. This makes Savage look like a huge coward? Ric Flair then attacks Savage. Giant helps Flair destroy Macho Man. Hogan eventually makes the save, with his eye bandaged up. He hits Giant with a chair many times. The rest of the Dungeon run in and all take chairshots to the head. Flair, Giant and Hart take over the announce table after. It's a good chaotic end to the show.


RAW

Dok Hendrix and the RAW Band open the show. Is this what young people want to see?

Diesel vs British Bulldog - Diesel does some stuff, Bulldog rams his leg into the ring post then starts working over it. Basically just a replay of their boring ppv match. Yokozuna comes out during the match to watch. Bulldog exposes the turnbucklet but Diesel reverses him into it, then gives him Snake Eyes on it (right in front of the referee who doesn't give a fuck.) Yokozuna then sneaks in(!) and tries to legdrop Diesel but misses and hits Bulldog and Diesel gets the pin.

Legal action his been threatened against the WWF because of the Billionaire Ted skits. The WWF stands for FREEDOM OF SPEECH (lol) so here's the latest skit! Billionaire Ted is EVIL for trying to put the WWF out of business. But it wasn't evil when Vince put all those other companies out of business in the eighties. This goes on way too long and isn't funny.

The Body Donna vs The Godwinns - Hillbilly Jim introduces the debuting Phineas Godwinn. He pins Skip with the Slop Drop. The Godwinns dance after.

Jim Cornette and Clarence Mason want Vader's suspension lifted. There's a "get well Gorilla!" address shown on screen if you want to send him cards!

The acting president is announced as Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper talks about things he did in the eighties. Weren't they just making fun of WCW for using eighties WWF stars? He gives Vince and airplane spin.

A Mankind vignette airs, focusing on his mutilated ear.

Yokozuna vs Shawn Michaels - Owen Hart comes down to ringside. Shawn hits a moonsault but gets whipped over the turnbuckles and Owen rams him into the ringpost. Shawn sells that for a long time and Yoko follows with his dreaded NERVE HOLD. Yoko misses a legdrop, Shawn misses a top rope splash. Owen runs in but his heel kick hits Yoko and Shawn hits the superkick for the pin. Owen and Yoko argue after and Bulldog comes out to calm them down. All three then agree to attack Shawn but Diesel runs out for the save.


5/2/1996

Nitro

Randy Savage vs Chris Benoit - Well here's a match I don't think happened many times. The title is on the line as usual. Savage has Elizabeth and Woman (who will one day be murdered by Benoit if you want to get morbid) with him. Match is a bit of a styles clash as Savage looks a bit awkward taking Benoit's stuff. Benoit hits a crazy diving headbutt. Benoit dominates for a long time but misses a tope to the outside and his head seemingly crashes into the guard rail. Savage hits the flying elbow to the back of Benoit's head but Flair comes out and grabs Elizabeth. Woman then turns heel on Savage and Anderson and Flair beat him down until Hogan chases them away with a chair. Hogan says "Brother!" a lot after but then Flair attacks his bad eye. Giant then hits Hogan with a big chairshot. Zodiac begs Giant to stop so that story's still going on. Hogan is bleeding and Bischoff begs the camera not to shoot it.

Hugh Morrus and Kevin Sullivan vs Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman - Weird match. Maybe it's because Pillman's doing his "Loose Cannon" stuff but some of it's pretty sloppy until Pillman and Sullivan get in together and start hitting each other with stiff shots. Bischoff starts doing the "this is out of control" hinting that the match has turned into a shoot. Somebody behind a curtain breaks a broom over Arn Anderson and the Dungeon lose by DQ when Sullivan starts whipping Pillman with a strap.

Ric Flair vs Marcus Alexander Bagwell - Flair wins with the figure four. For once!

Lex Luger and Sting vs The Road Warriors - Luger gives Hawk a piledriver even though any time anyone gives Hawk a piledriver it doesn't work. Stop giving Hawk piledrivers. Road Warriors hit lots of clotheslines. Luger cheats and Sting looks disapproving. Jimmy Hart hands Luger a foreign object and he hits Animal in the back with it for the pin.


RAW

Shawn Michaels and Diesel vs British Bulldog and Yokozuna - Vince is still saying "two dudes with attitude!" a lot. There's a spot early on where Yoko whips Shawn but Diesel catches him and throws him back onto Yoko. Heels beat down Shawn, of course, including the traditional long Yokozuna nerve hold. Shawn makes the hot tag after Yoko misses a splash. Shawn hits a splash off Diesel's shoulders then superkicks Yokozuna out of the ring. Bulldog and Owen try to help Yokozuna back in the ring but he's counted out. Jim Cornette shouts at Yoko afterwards (Vince: "He's VERBALLY RAPING Yokozun!" Fucking Hell Vince.) until Yoko shoves him down. Bulldog and Owen attack Yoko but he chases them away.

Hakushi vs 1-2-3 Kid - Great match between these two us usual, with lots of dives, cool moves and nearfalls. Kid gets the pin with a double underhook suplex from the top rope.

First interview with Gorilla Monsoon as he talks about his injuries and apologises for chopping Vader. He thanks the "thousands and thousands" of fans who have sent cards and letters and says he won't apologise to Vader.

Bret Hart vs The Underaker - Yes! A World title match on RAW and it's a big one! I'm guessing there won't be a clean finish but let's see. Undertaker chokes hims a lot early on. He puts the clawhold back on as well. Diesel comes out to watch the match then joins the commentary table. Taker goes for the rope walk but Bret tosses him off. Bret goes to work on the legs. Undertaker makes a comeback and beats Bret down again, including a successful rope walk. Taker goes for the Tombstone but Bret's boot hits the ref and Bret gets a roll up but there's no ref to count. Diesel throws Bret into the ring post just for a laugh or something, then Taker throws Diesel into the steps. Diesel comes back by hitting Taker in the back with a chair then gives him two powerbombs in the ring. So basically there's no finish and it's a repeat of the Royal Rumble.

RAW wins I guess? The Hakushi/Kid match was the best thing on either show.
 
Superbrawl 6

Tony, Heenan and Dusty on commentary, thankfully.

The Nasty Boys vs The Public Enemy - It's a street fight! Dusty promises clubberin'. They hit each other with chairs and stuff in and out of the ring. Rocco gets tossed through a table. The Nasties get some "plunder" (a trash can) and there's more hitting. Saggs gives Johnny Grunge a piledriver on a trashcan. There's more weapon shots to the head and broken tables. Probably too many. Dusty points out there's been no "Australian armdrags" in this match. Rocco goes for a senton from the stand but misses and goes through a table and the Nasties win. Match was okay but all a bit random and repetitive.

Johnny B. Badd vs Diamond Dallas Page - Becaue this feud WILL NEVER END. Badd is not only putting the TV title on the line but also the Diamond Doll. Because women are property. And DDP is putting six million dollars on the line. Badd gives DDP a snapmare of the top rope which Heenan rightly points out should be a DQ under WCW's silly rules. DDP does seem to be improving in the ring all the time. Diamond Doll taunts DDP by holding up a card with "0" on it (he used to make her hold up "10") and DDP does some comical selling. Match gets pretty slow for a while. Badd makes his comeback but even that's pretty slow. They both gets sleeper holds on. The fans start chanting "boring." Badd gets the pin with a Tombstone. Badd gives Kimberly a giant cheque for six million dollar after.

Sting and Lex Luger vs Harlem Heat - Booker does the spinaroonie off a missed elbow drop but it's still not over. Booker works almost the whole match without tagging for some reason. Stevie hits one of the worst powerbombs ever on Luger, then uses a boring nerve hold. Maybe that's why he doesn't get tagged in much. Luger finally gets the tag but the referee misses it. Sting just does all his moves anyway. The Road Warriors run in and hit Stevie with a lead pipe and Luger gets the pin. Road Warriors get a title match later tonight and they want it to be against Sting and Luger. Match was boring.

Konnan vs One Man Gang - Konnan is the US champion and I have no idea when that happened. Konnan does high flying stuff but it feels a bit unnatural. Gang beats him down in boring fashion. Gang is terrible and Konnan's doing nothing. Konnan misses a dropkick in a blown spot. Gang hits his finisher than pulls Konnan up for no reason. Gang "misses" a splash off the ropes (really he lands on his feet then falls over) then Konnan hits a flipping thing from the top for the pin. Terrible fucking match.

Kevn Sullivan vs Brian Pillman - This is a "respect strap match" that can only end when one man says they respect the other. Pillman runs in and straps Sullivan a few times...then just grabs the mic and says "I respect you...bookerman!" This was a famous worked shoot attempt to get Pillman's "loose cannon" gimmick over. I think only Pillman, Sullivan (who was a booker at the time, hench "bookerman") and Eric Bischoff were in on it so the announcers sound confused.

Kevin Sullivan vs Arn Anderson - Anderson comes out in street clothes and offers to take Pillman's place. They actually get strapped together this time. They beat each other up for a couple of minutes before Jimmy Hart runs to the back and gets Ric Flair who tells them to stop fighting and get read to kick Savage and Hogan's "buttellas". Woo! No contest I guess.

Sting and Lex Luger vs The Road Warriors - Hawk and Sting fuck up a neckbreaker early. Luger is reluctant to get in there with the Road Warriors. Sting and Animal collide and Sting gives him an unintentional low blow. Luger then heelishly takes advantage. Sting and Animal do a lock-up really late in the match which is pretty weird. This match has lots of clotheslines. Animal and Sting both suplex each other and both no sell. Then the match just falls apart and both teams are counted out. Slightly better than the Harlem Heat match but still pretty bad.

Randy Savage vs Ric Flair - Steel cage match for the WCW title. Flair punches out the referee and stomps on him early on. The referee comes back up pretty quick though, so I'm not sure what the point was. They throw each other into the cage a lot. Savage takes a lot of punishment as usual. Flair goes to the top and gets pressed off(!) and Savage puts the figure four on him. Savage goes for a double axe from the top of the cage but Flair catches him with a punch on the way down. Flair gets the figure four on Savage. The referee pulls Savage off by the hair when Macho gets to the ropes. It's a cage match, surely there are no rope breaks? It's no DQ. Savage makes a comeback and throws Flair into the cage several times. Flair is busted open, but nowhere near as bad as at Starrcade. Flair tries to climb out but Savage pulls his tights down and we see Flair's pasty white ass. Flair falls crotch first on the top rope and Savage pins him and the bell rings but it was only a two count. Flair tries to climb out agan and we see his ass AGAIN. Dusty starts cracking up on commentary (no pun intended!) The door to the cage is opened. We go to a long shot becaue Flair is bleeding, which is annoying. Woman tries to throw powder in Savage's face but misses. Savage hands her shoe to Flair(!) and he hits Savage with it and pins him to win the championship. Hogan comes out with a chair after because he has to make everything about him. EVIL ELIZABETH leaves with Flair and Woman. Fans chant "Hogan sucks." Turned out to be a good match as the cage forced them to change the usual routine.

Hulk Hogan vs The Giant - Another cage match and the REAL MAIN EVENT because it's Hogan and that's more important than any championship! Hogan is wearing an eye patch because of the deadly shoe attack on Nitro. He says that all the Hulkamaniacs "and the big man upstairs, dude" will see for him. There's a few determined fans keeping up the "Hogan sucks" chant and I appreciate them! Commentators shamelessly talk about the Giant "doing this for his father" (Andre.) Really boring, shit match for the most part. I have nothing to say about it. Giant hits a shit chokeslam, Hogan Hulks Up (OF COURSE), Giant blades after being thrown into the cage a lot, Hogan slams him, hits the legdrop three times, and climbs out after knocking Giant off the top rope. I guess they kept Giant looking strong to some extent by having him get up from three legdrops, but he still lost to an old bald man. The entire Dungeon of Doom run into chairshots from Hogan after, then all stagger around so Hogan can throw them into the cage. Awful. The Loch Ness Monster (Giant Haystacks) comes out last of all but does nothing.

Othen than Flair/Savage and the Pillman angle there's really nothing to recommend on this show.


12/2/1996

Nitro

We start with still photos from Superbrawl and how Elizabeth is evil LIKE ALL WOMEN apparently.

Randy Savage vs Hugh Morrus - Savage goes after the eyes a lot to show that he's angry. Savage does spend more of the match on control than his normal match where he gets beat down the entire time then hits the elbow for the win. Morrus misses a moonsault then Savage hits two flying elbows for the pin.

Mean Gene interviews the driver of the WCW race car. BORING.

Loch Ness vs Scotty Riggers - Mongo: "Is he from England? If so he probably crawled out of that slime pit they call Loch Ness!" FUCK OFF MONGO. Giant Haystacks was pushing fifty at this time and never much of a worker. I guess they just wanted another tall fat guy for the Dungeon of Doom. Ness just stands there while Riggs hits him. He's then supposed to catch Riggs coming off the top rope but just drops him and falls over. He hits two elbow drops for the pin. Awful.

Miss Elizabeth and Woman wheel out a hospital bed. They sent Flair to the hospital by shagging him all night! Flair jumps out of the bed and cuts a classic crazed promo. Elizabeth forgets her lines.

Konnan vs Dangerous Devon Storm - Storms just goes for the highspots right away but Konnan powerbombs him on the floor. Konnan hits lots of Lucha stuff and as usual it looks quite awkward. Then Storm randomly puts him in a toe hold? Bischoff apologises for saying that the WWF was responsible for cutting the power the week before and calls this match a car crash. Konnan hits a powerbomb from the top and rolls through into the pin and yeah it was a car crash.

Hulk Hogan vs Arn Anderson - Someone holds up a "Bischoff is SATAN" sign. Hogan, like Savage earlier, controls much of the match and gives Anderson a beating. Arn finally goes to work on Hogan's injured eye and Flair and Elizabeth join us at ringside. Hogan Hulks Up after the spinebuster and hits the Big Boot, but then struts and the puts the figure four on Anderson. The referee is distracted by Flair and Woman throws powder into Hogan's eyes then Anderson hits him with Elizabeth's shoe (the only item that can defeat Hogan!) and Anderson gets the pin. This is the type of match Hogan would use as an example of how he sometimes put people over, but of course he only lost because it was a total screwjob and he destroyed Anderson for most of the match. Savage hits Flair with a chair after as well. Flair takes over the announce table again after.

No RAW this week because of the DOG SHOW.


In Your House 6

Sunny in a bikini is the introduction this tme.

Razor Ramon vs 1-2-3 Kid - This is a "crybaby match" where the loser will be made to dress as a baby. These two always have good matches together and this is no exception. Starts with non-stop action and Kid gets control after Dibiase throws baby powder in Razor's eyes right in front of the ref who has to play dumb. Kid hits a sort of frog splash for two. Lawler has lots of "Razor was an ugly baby" jokes prepared, sadly. Match does slow down with a long sleeper from the Kid. So not really "non-stop" then. Razor eventually escapes by crotching Kid on the top rope. Kid rolls through the top ruper superplex but Razor rolls through the roll through. Kid hits his spinkick but Razor kicks out. Razor hits the fallaway slam from the second rope, Kid tries to user baby powder but Razor kicks it back into his eyes then hits two Razor's Edges for the pin. Razor puts him in a diaper after and powders him. Match was pretty good.

Triple H vs Duke "The Dumpster" Droese - Droese never makes it on RAW but somehow gets a ppv match. HHH has some "hot" girl with him (she does nothing for me) who Jerry Lawler spends the whole match talking to. Hunter does really weak looking covers here. Doesn't even try to hold him down. Yeah that's about the only thing I noticed about the match. HHH does take some big bumps. Duke hits a tilt-a-whirl slam but instead of going for the pin he tries to dump a trash can on HHH. Well that's pretty dumb. HHH hits him with the trashcan lid for the pin.

Yokozuna vs British Bulldog - Yoko can speak English now because he's a face. Bulldog knocks Yoko off his feet with a clothesline which looks good. Yoko goes for the Banzia Drop but Cornette pulls Bulldog outside. Yoko runs into the ring post. Yoko makes his comeback pretty quick and hits a Samoan Drop and belly to belly suplex. Cornette hits Yoko with the tennis racquette for the DQ. Vader runs in and he and Bulldog handcuff Yoko to the ropes. Yoko makes a one armed comeback but Vader takes his mask off and hits headbutts. Because that makes them hurt more? They eventually beat Yoko down, a bit. Then the fans seem to chant "USA" which is quite confusing. Are they supporting Vader?

Shawn Michaels vs Owen Hart - Shawn's Wrestlemania title shot is on the line! Shawn slides out at the start and high fives fans at ringside, which makes it look like he isn't taking the match seriously. Owen slides out too but Shawn catches him with a good looking crossbody to the floor. Shawn does some comedy hair-pulling stuff too. Owen gains control with his overhead belly to belly. Someone should steal that. Shawn suplexes Owne to the floor but Owen lands on his feet then catches Shawn with a powerslam coming off the apron to the floor. Missile dropkick gets two for Owen and Vince and Jerry do bring up Shawn's head injur a bit. Owen hits the head kick that put Shawn out of action, but Shawn falls outside the ring. Shawn hits the flying forearm and top rope elbow, but Owen ducks the superkick and goes for the head kick again. Shawn ducks THAT and hits the superkick for the win. A good match but they could have done more to make Owen look like a credible threat. They never really went all the way with Owen as a main eventer even though he seemed to have the ability.

Bret Hart vs Diesel - Steel cage match for the WWF title. Diesel keeps hitting Bret, Bret keeps kicking at his knee. This goes on for a while. Bret puts Diesel into the cage and tries to climb out, but Diesel climbs up to the top rope and gives Bret some knees standing up there. Okay that does look cool. They fight over trying to get out the door, then Bret goes to work on Diesel's leg in the usual fashion. Bret tries to climb out but Diesel crawls to the door to Bret runs back in to stop him. To be honest the match is pretty dull and I can't be bothered recappig it all. Bret goes after the leg a lot. It makes sense, I guess, as a way to stop Diesel escaping, but it's not exciting to watch. Bret gets all the way to the other side of the cage at one point but Diesel pulls him back in by the hair. Bret goes for the Sharpshooter but Diesel pokes the eyes to escape. Diesel gives Bret a low blow when he tries to climb out and Bret falls crotch first on the top rope to make it a double low blow. Diesel tries to go out the door but Undertaker comes up through a hole in the ring and drags Diesel under the ring. Bret climbs out to win. Umm, how did Taker know when to climb out and where Diesel was? Super powers, I guess! Match was not as good as their Survivor Series classic and the finish was far worse.

Not a terrible show but nothing really super great to recommend it for either.
 
The text that you have entered is too long (31903 characters). Please shorten it to 25000 characters long.

Menty could you please extend the character limit here, it's ridiculous.
 
19/2/1996

Nitro

Hulk Hogan vs Arn Anderson - The rematch! Hogan uses heelish tactics choking and biting Arn (at the same time!) And eye-raking and choking with t-shirts fans hand him. Hogan controls the entire match and even Hulks Up without being hit by a move! He puts the figure four on again but Kevin Sullivan runs in. Savage attacks Sullivan but the referee only sees Savage in the ring and DQs Hogan. The announcers make a big deal about Anderson having two wins over Hogan but it's a joke really as he wasn't presented as anywhere near Hogan's equal.

Loch Ness vs Alex Wright - Wright gets a sleeper hold sitting on the top rope. Loch Ness gets him in a bearhug. Wright escapes and hits some kicks but runs into a boot and Loch Ness drops the elbow for the three. Finish looked better than last week, at least. Loch Ness got diagnosed with cancer shortly after and returned to England where he died two years later. Which is sad, but even without that it was still a bad idea having him in WCW in 1996.

Bran Armstrong vs The Belfast Bruiser - It's the Nitro debut of Finlay! With a moustache and long hair. Finlay makes all his stuff look real. I don't know if he did that by just actually hitting his opponents harder than others but it looks good anyway. Finlay works over the leg in a logical manner. Match is mostly a showcase for Finlay, with Armstrong ony getting the odd move in here and there. Bruiser wins with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam.

Ric Flair vs Randy Savage - WCW world title is on the line again! Savage takes a big beating as he often does. Flair does a couple of silly looking Flair Flops. Savage puts Flair in the Figure Four after throwing him off the top. It's an enjoyable match but they do run through the usual spots and I can't really help but notice okay. It's noticable! The finish seems to be fucked up as Savage grabs a shoe (seriously they're obsessed with shoes) and hits Flair with it. The referee starts to count then just stops and Savage holds his eyes and the bell rings. Arn Anderson then gives Savage a DDT and Flair gets the pin (despite the bell already ringing.) Hogan runs out for the usual fight with the Dungeon and the Horsemen, but this time Zodiac runs in on Hogan's side and looks a bit like the Ultimate Warrior.

RAW

Someone is holding a sign that reads "Really Active Wrestling". What the fuck? Why would you make that sign?

Razor Ramon vs Goldust - Razor violently attacks Goldust while he's still in his robe. Razor gives Goldust a beating before attempting a Razor's Edge right next to the ropes which means he'll be backdropped to the floor. Razor crotches Goldust on the top rope to regain control then gives him a superplex, then a fallaway slam where he just tosses Goldust right over the top rope. That looked good. He gives Goldust a back superplex back in the ring but Goldust rolls out of the ring and takes the countout loss to retain his title. This was enjoyable intense. Razor takes the mic after and says "Goldust, I don't want your belt. I want your ass." Umm, I thought he was the homophobic one? Razor then tells "Roddy Rowdy Piper" that he doesn't want his kids watching Goldust on tv and he wants another match with Goldust. He then tells Goldust that he's sexy. This was supposed to set up a match between Razor and Goldust at Wrestlemania but Razor was suspended so Piper ended up in the match instead.

The Dok Hendrix segments are so cringeworthy. I think this was around the time when I was thinking "am I too old for wrestling?" watching this back when I was fourteen. But I kept with it and the show got more "adult" by the end of 1997. He recaps the In Your House show in an annoying voice.

Vader destroys Aldo Montoya and Barry Horowitz for fun. They were supposed to be wrestling the Body Donnas but that won't happen now!

The Ultimate Warrior is returning! I'm sure that won't be a total disaster.

Sunny sings "happy birthday, Mister President" in a low cut dress. This feels really desperate and tacky.

Ringmaster vs Marty Jannetty - Ringmaster has the Million Dollar belt. He does not look into this gimmick. Vince remarks that the Ringmaster is "stone cold, heartless." Maybe that would be a good name for him: Heartless Steve Austin! Austin locks in an STF, then a weird neck submission thing. Marty makes his comeback but Austin flips out of a suplex attempt and gets the Million Dollar Dream for the win. Austin was all technical wrestling and no personality here. Vince again calls him "STONE COLD" when he wins so at least they're eventually going to get it right.

Mankind promo in a dungeon talking to a rat.

The Undertaker vs Tatanka - Tatanka's first move of the match is actually his finisher (the samoan drop) but Diesel comes out with an axe and grabs a camera man so the focus is on that. Diesel destroys Undertaker's casket with the axe. Lawler: "that casket is the Undertaker's home!" That's dumb. The match goes on but it's just background to the casket destruction. Taker wins with the tombstone.

Our main event again is a Billionaire Ted skit on "Larry Fling Live." Do I have to recap these? They're bad. Actually, okay, Huckster calls in and says he needs next Monday off "because I've been hit by a woman's high heel shoe, brother!" That's funny. But otherwise this is really petty.

Nitro wins. Duh.


26/2/1996

Nitro

Sting vs Big Bubba Rogers - Can I just say I love Big Bubba's punches? And that spot where he slides out of the ring and punches his opponent from the floor? Because I do. Bubba's on good form in this match and also gets into an argument with an old woman in the front row. Security then tell her to sit down! Sting makes a comeback by picking Bubba up for a piledrive then executing it like a tombstone. That could have gone badly. Sting wins an enjoyable match with a top rope crossbody.

Road Warriors come out for an interview with Mean Gene and Luger comes out to argue with them. Hawk says that Luger reminds him of a washing machine and threatens to go to the zoo and knock out gorillas. This just in: Hawk is nuts. Luger agrees to a Chicago Street Fight even though Sting doesn't know what that is.

Lex Luger vs Renegade - I'd thought Renegade was done after Kevin Sullivan wiped his face paint off. There's a guy in a Bart Simpson mask in the crowd. It's kind of creepy. You can tell Renegade's trying hard here. But he still hits a lot of clotheslines. Jimmy Hart shoves Renegade off the top rope to the floor and Luger wins with the Torture Rack. Sting comes out after and Luger chases Jimmy Hart away and says he didn't want him out there. Sting: "WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU ANYWAY?" Luger: "I DON'T KNOW!"

The Road Warriors vs Harlem Heat - Fairly standard tag match. Booker hits the Harlem Hangover but there's no referee. Then LOD cheat to win! Weird.

Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage and The Booty Man vs Ric Flair, Arn Anderson and Kevin Sullivan - The story with the Booty Man (the former Brutus Beefcake) is that he was supposedly Hogan's "spy" inside the Dungeon of Doom. So he was never really the Zodiac, he was just pretending. That probably makes no sense but let's not think about it. Kimberly the Diamond Doll comes out with flowers as she's now hot for the Booty Man. This is because Johnny B. Badd's on his way to the WWF and they need to put her with someone else. Booty Man is a really terrible wrestler by the way. This match has lots of stalling and not much happening. But the crazy old lady in the front row is into it at least! She even does a strut down the front row to mock Flair! It would have been awesome if Flair had just punched her in the face. Hogan eventually pins Anderson with the legdrop (see, he got his win back) in a long, boring match. The old woman was much more entertaining. Elizabeth handcuffs Hogan to the corner after but Hogan has to help her put the cuffs on. It looks bad.

RAW

Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs Isaac Yankem - Jake is back on the roster after his Royal Rumble appearance. And he's fat. And wrestling in a vest. Jerry Lawler is scared of snakes. Jake doesn't take any bumps at all. He blocks the DDS (Yankem's version of the DDT) and hits the DDT for the win. Fans do react to Jake but he wasn't in good shape.

Diesel vs Bob Holly - Holly knocks Diesel off his feet and gets booed. Poor Bob Holly. We got commercial during Holly's comeback and when we return Diesel hits the Jackknife right away for the pin. This was very poor. The lights go out after the Undertaker appears in the ring. Diesel goes back to fight him but the lights go out again and Taker disappears. Mind games!

Ahmed Johnson vs Shinobi - Shinobi is Al Snow again, under a different mask. Actually he has two masks on this time. Shinobi tries a springboard move but slips off the ropes. Ahmed hits the Pearl River Plunge for the pin. Goldust phoned in during the match with a sexy poem about Roddy Piper, so the Razor match is already cancelled.

Vince in the ring to interview Shawn Michaels. Lawler claims that he hasn't heard a reaction like the one Michaels gets "since the Beatles." Then Bret Hart is introduced and Lawler acts shocked that he gets cheered even though he always gets cheered. Shawn says no one in this building has more respect for Bret Hart than he does. That'll change in a year. Shawn says he's in great condition. Bret says he's the Energiser Bunny and he'll just keep going and going. Roddy Piper comes out. Roddy tells the fans not to boo Bret Hart. Then tells them not to boo Shawn even though they weren't. Piper says that we must have a winner at WrestleMania so it will be a ONE HOUR IRON MAN MATCH. Sounds exciting! Piper is a good talker and this felt like an important segment having Bret and Shawn facing off. That doesn't happen nearly enough on RAW at this point.

Yokozuna vs Owen Hart and the British Bulldog in a handicap match - Decent short match as Yoko makes a comeaback against both men and Vader runs in. Yoko takes a good bump from a Vader clothesline. All three beat down Yoko until Ahmed and Jake make the save. We get to see Jake's new Snake Revealations at last! It's yellow. Vince says Vader and Yoko will be "one on one" at Wrestlemania but it ended up being a six man tag.

Main event is Larry Fling Live again with Huckster and the Nacho Man. It is hilarious that the WWF are making fun of Hogan being old when he'd end up as WWF champion again six years later. Funniest part again is Fling threatening Hogan with a high heel shoe.

Not even a very good Nitro this week but I'll still give them the win for Nitro being more energetic and fresh than RAW. These pre-taped RAWs can be hard to get through.


4/3/1996

RAW

Sadly no Nitro this week!

Shawn Michaels vs 1-2-3 Kid - Kid dominates early with headlock takedowns and a nice spin kick. Shawn comes back with armdrags, a press slam (that he only ever does against the Kid) and a skin the cat clothesline over the top. Kid takes over with the spinning heel kick and dropkicks Shawn over the top. Kid hits his springboard dive to the floor. Million Dollar Man punches Shawn on the floor too. He finally did something useful! Bret is being interviewed during the match and he calls Shawn "a friend of mine." Kid hits more kicks and legdrops and chinlocks. Shawn comes back with a flying clothesline and nips up. Shawn hits a moonsault, flying forearm and top rope elbow. Kid avoids the superkick but misses a top rope legdrop and Shawn hits the superkick for the win. A good match, certainly above the usual RAW standard at the time.

Goldust has made a film called "Piper's Pit." He's dressed as Roddy Piper and talks about how big Piper's dick is. He talks about having his first orgasm watching Piper smash the coconut over Jimmy Snuka's head. Goldust's performance is good but this goes on too long.

The RAW Band are still a thing.

Vince officially announces that the Ultimate Warrior will return at WrestleMania.

Justin Hawk Bradshaw vs Hakushi - Fans don't care about this match at all. Vince and Jerry ignore it too as Piper phones in to talk about Warrior and Goldust. Hakushi doesn't get much offense in. He dives on Bradshaw on the floor and it seems like Bradshaw was supposed to catch him but he falls over. He then slams him on the floor as if he'd caught him anyway. Bradshaw wins with a stiff Clothesline From Hell. Bradshaw did look fairly good here but it was sad seeing Hakushi get squashed. Bradshaw and Zebekiah brand Hakushi afterwards.

Mankind is still upset.

Bret "The Hitman" Hart vs Triple H - Shawn comes out and sits down on a chair to watch the match. Hunter is still pretty boring. He does quite a few Flair Flops. Bret is Bret. He's good but not flashy. So this isn't as good as Michaels/Kid. Bret catches Hunter coming off the ropes in the Sharpshooter for the win.

Oh good, a main event Billionaire Ted skit. He's on "TV Trivia" reading out real life Ted Turner quotes. The only funny bit is when they cut to the Huckster handcuffed to the turnbuckle. "I helped the lady handcuff me and I can't get out!"

A slightly above average RAW thanks to the Shawn/Kid match.



11/3/1996

Nitro

The Giant vs Hacksaw Jim Duggan - There are people holding "CALL BRIAN" banners with a phone number in the crowd and I'm guess this is to do with Brian Pillman. And indeed Pillman tries to jump the barricade and Bischoff has security take him out. Meanwhile Giant has had a bearhug on for a long time! Duggan even gets to make a comeback and clotheslines Giant over the top rope! But then Giant comes back with yet another bearhug. Duggan tapes his fist up and punches Giant three times to knock him down. Jimmy Hart distracts Duggan and Giant hits the chokeslam for the win. Surprisingly entertaining.

The Steiner Brothers come out on motorbikes! They're back! They're on motorbikes! And someone's taken out the Nasty Boys backstage!

The Steiner Brothers vs The Road Warriors - This is a pretty huge match to have on free tv when the Steiners have just returned. This should be stiff. And it is. Very good sequence with Hawk and Scott Steiner to start. Rick and Animal is decent too as Rick hits a nice German suplex and we never usually get to see the LOD thrown around like this. Scott gives Animal a huge over the head belly to belly as well. Hawk gets the hog tag and cleans house with clotheslines and they hit the Doomsday Device on Rick but Scott saves. They trade flying clotheslines and Scott hits a Frankensteiner on Animal. Steiner hits a double team top rope bulldog but Animal hits Rick with a foreign object and Hawk gets the pin. This was crazy for a tv match and I guess LOD were turning heel at this point?

Lex Luger vs Alex Wright - Lex Luger is the new TV champion having defeated Johnny B. Badd on Saturday Night. Bischoff totally buries Johnny B. Badd on commentary. He couldn't hang where the big boys play! Wright has a good head scissors takeover. No one else does it like that anymore. A good match with cokcy Luger using his power and plucky Wright his agility. Wright hits a missile dropkick but Jimmy Hart interferes and Luger wins with a Stun Gun. Luger yells at Jimmy after to continue pretending he didn't want any help.

Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage and The Booty Man vs Ric Flair, Arn Anderson and Kevin Sullivan in a double strap lumberjack match - Uh huh. They aren't even strapped together, there's just a strap they can use as a weapon. LOCH NESS and The Giant are two of the lumberjacks (in lumberjack shirts) and they start fighting each other right away for no reason. The Lumberjacks all randomly strap each other outside the ring and Kimberly comes out to perv on the Booty Man again. It's all very chaotic but the match isn't good as it's just Hogan beating the shit out of Flair as usual. The heel lumberjacks strap Hogan but he makes a comeback and destroys about five of them by himself. Seriously Hogan sells nothing the entire match and easily pins Flair with the legdrop. The Dunegon and Horsemen do not look strong going into Uncensored.

RAW

Savio Vega vs The Ringmaster - Vince says the Ringmaster "is Stone Cold for sure!" Just change his name already! In fact the on screen graphic reads "Stone Cold Steve Austin" and Vince claims "his peers dubbed him the Ringmaster but looking at him he's Stone Cold for sure!" So let's just forget the Ringmaster name forever now. Austin's still mechanical and managed by the Million Dollar Man, but at least he's making progress. A pretty good match as Vega is good at playing the fiery babyface. Vega hits a good spinning heel kick in the corner and it takes both men over the top rope. They're both counted out but keep fighting after and the fans get into the brawl. Savio comes out on top with another spin kick.

Earlier tonight, the World's Strongest Man Mark Henry gave Jerry Lawler a press slam. Why was this earlier tonight and not on the actual show?

Goldust and Marlena come out. Vince comes into the ring to introduce Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper accues Goldust of selling his body for quarters. He says "mindless? MINDLESS?" then Vince says "actualy it's mine games" because sometimes Pipier forgets what the fuck he's talking about. He tells Goldust that he beat Adrian Adonis half to death with a baseball bat and says he's a lesbian. Then Goldust tries to look up Piper's kilt. Piper eventually shoves him, and Goldust comes back with a slap. Piper knocks him down and says he'll make a man out of him (in the Backlot Brawl at Wrestlemania.)

The Godwinns vs Alex Porteau and Jobber - Porteau is on the main roster but is basically a jobber. Henry pins him with the Slop Drop quickly.

Video of Shawn Michaels training for the Iron Man match with his mentor Super Soc Jose Lathario.

Meanwhile Shawn is back in the Hart Dungeon being trained by his fathe Stu. He says he doesn't know of any really tough Mexican wrestlers, which is pretty racist.

The Slam of the Week is Yokozuna stacking up two jobbers and giving them a Banzai Drop. That's not a slam!

Triple H vs Jobber - Yay, another jobber match. That'll win the ratings war! We find out Helmsley will be Warrior's opponent at WrestleMania, which is strange because last week Piper promised to reveal Warrior's opponent and said we "won't believe" who it is. Hunter wins with the Pedigree.

Scheme Gene's Hotline has a special report on the Huckster and Nacho Man match. But last week we saw an advert for JR's own hotline so really the WWF is in no position to make fun. No handcuffs or ladies shoes allowed at ringside is the only kind of funny line.

Yokozuna and The Undertaker vs Owen Hart and The British Bulldog - Yoko once murdered the Undertaker by locking him in a casket, so it's nice that they're friends now! Taker and Yoko do have a stare down to start, but fight together against Owen and Davey. It never really turns into a proper tag match as Diesel comes out right away and gives Paul Bearer a short clothesline. Vince: "Paul Bearer never did anything to Diesel!" No shit. "Big Daddy Cool anything BUT cool!" Taker goes off after Diesel We go to an advert and apparently Owen and Bulldog actually took control. Vader runs out before Yoko's even started his comeback and you can see Ahmed already running out to save behind Vader before Vader's even down anything! Jake Roberts also walks down slowly to "help" but ends up getting beat up. Yoko makes a comeback on Vader and Vader's mask comes off and the fans are quite into babyface Yokozuna.

RAW had some decent bits (the Vega/Austin brawl and the closing brawl) but Nitro easily wins thanks to the great tag match.
 
18/3/1996

Nitro

We got right to The Giant and Loch Ness fighting in the aisle with no introduction. Giant pretty much beats the shit out of him as Luger comes out for his match with Loch Ness, stopping to pose even as the giants keep fighting.

Lex Luger vs Loch Ness - Well Luger wins by countout becuse Loch Ness doesn't get to the ring. Luger celebrates like it was a big victory but tells Jimmy Hart not to hug him in case Sting sees. Luger goes to the announce table and boasts about his win. The fans keep cheering Luger despite his obvious heelishness.

Tony Schiavone interviews Hogan and Macho. Lots of really loud boos for Hogan here. Hogan and Macho will take on the entire Dungeon of Doom and Four Horsemen in the Doomsday Cage match this Sunday at Uncensored, brother.

The Steiner Brothers vs The Public Enemy - Steiners are very popular. This is no where near as good as last week's match as the Pulbic Enemy are kind of lacking in exciting moves and aren't suited for normal matches. Rocco does try to put Rick through a table but misses and goes through himself. Steiners win with the top rope double team bulldog.

Arn Anderson vs The Booty Man - Anderson tries but Booty Man is terrible. Kimberly comes out again and Woman threatens her with her shoe. Booty Man pins Anderson with a running knee.

The Road Warriors vs The Nasty Boys - Nasties are angry after being taken out by the LOD last week so this is a brawl from the start. PLASTIC CHAIRS are used as weapons. It eventually settles down to a normal tag match. Warriors beat down Knobbs for a long time. The Steiners run out and brawl with both teams. Animal hits Knobbs with the foreign object again for the pin. Those cheating bastards.

Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage vs Ric Flair and Kevin Sullivan - This is a Tornado match which means tags are not required. Match is a bit better than last week but it's still a Hogan match. Flair hits Hogan with Woman's shoe but Hogan Hulks Up. Guess he's been watching Billionaire Ted. Arn Anderson attacks Hogan, Pillman jumps the barricade and attacks Savage. ZEUS (not named) and a tall white guy come out to scare Hogan. It's the Alliance to end Hulkamania!

RAW

Diesel finally went FULL HEEL last night in Madison Squiare Gardens by attacking his tag partner Shawn Michaels with a chair.

Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs The British Bulldog - Jake just lies on the ground a lot because he can't take bumps. Jake actually hits the DDT but Cornette pulls him out the ring, so Jake chases him with his snake and gets counted out.

More training videos with Shawn and Bret. Shawn seems to be working on lucha moves. Bret still comes across slightly heelish and talks about his son being a Shawn Michaels fan. Bret doesn't like Shawn's dancing.

Goldust vs Fatu - Goldust wrestles in a kil. Fatu works over his ass for some reason. Fatu misses the top rope splash and Goldust hits the Curtain Call for the win. Piper calls in again.

Vince interviews Camp Cornette. They'll take on Ahmed, Yoko and Jake at WrestleMania. Cornette implies that he shoved Mister Fuji down some stairs. Pre-recorded segment with the faces reveals that if they win, Yokozuna gets five minutes alone with Cronette. Yoko Banzai Drops a Cornette balloon.

Diesel vs Barry Horowitz - We see footage from MSG of Diesel hitting everyone (including Shawn) with chair shots. Paul Bearer brings a casket down to the ring. Diesel hits the big boot then wins with...a punch. Why not powerbomb him? Diesel opens the casket to reveal...a wax work of Diesel. Or something dressed as Diesel. MIND GAMES.

Bret Hart vs Tatanka - They have a normal match. Tatanka isn't very exciting and Bret doesn't really do much to make it anything above average. The Kid holds Bret, Tatanka runs at him, Bret moves, Tatanka hits Kid, Bret rolls up Tatanka for the win.

Main even is Billionaire Ted, of course. He's rich! He wants to own everything! I don't care!

Nitro wins for being more energetic, as usual. RAW is feeling very dated.


WCW Uncensored 1996

Tony, Dusty and Heenan on commentary. I wish this was the announce team for Nitro.

Konan vs Eddie Guerrero - US title on the line! Eddie is just a pleasure to watch in the ring. So smooth. Konan, on the other hand, always feels a bit awkward, but this is better than any Konan match so far. The story here is that they're friends and trying to fight by the rules but Konan gets frustrated and starts beeing heelish. Match slows down a lot as they keep playing to the crowd to get duelling chants going. Konan does do a good, non-awkward, arm-drag sequence. Then a lot more stalling. An exciting sequence by Eddie is followed by a long head scissors. It picks up again, though at times it looks like Eddie is wrestling himself. Konan hits a seemingly accidental low headbutt and gets the win.

Belfast Bruiser vs Lord Steven Regal - Stiff and intense right from the start. The problem is that they're both heels so the fans don't react much. But it's fun to watch! Dusty "they's using they body parts for plunda!" They do a lot of body part work but it's all really stiff and real looking so it's not boring (well, unless you're in the crowd who seem pretty bored.) Cool bit where Regal argues with the referee while secretly choking Finlay with his foot. More crazy stiffiness follows and Regal hits an elbow from the apron to the floor. Shades of Foley! The fans do start reacting to Finlay kicking the shit out of him. The match goes on for a very long time. Regal ends up busted open. They brawl up the aisle and Regal throws Finlay into the Doomsday Cage...then the Blue Bloods run out and attack Finlay for the DQ. After all that, after nearly twenty minutes, there's no proper finish!

Colonel Robert Parker vs Madusa - Parker is wearing a suit. He does take his jacket off at least. And he's wearing elbow pads. Parker gets her up in an airplane spin. Maduse bodyslams him. Dusty is amused. Dusty "those red elbow pads he got him ain't done a damn thing!" She kicks him for a bit and hits the German suplex, but Dick Slater pulls her leg out and this somehow results in Parker pinning her. This existed.

The Booty Man vs Diamond Dallas Page - So it was supposed to be DDP against Marc Mero but Mero quit the company. DDP's career is on the line here and if he wins he gets Kimberly back (beause of how women are property.) Lots of stalling to start. Booty Man boringly works over the arm for a while then there's more stalling, complete with DDP being shoved off the apron by the referee. DDP does his comedy routine staggering into the ring post and falling over the guard rail. They fuck up a spot and even Tony says "what was that?" with disgust. DDP takes over with some exciting choking and chinlocking. Kimberly is out dressed as a cheerleader for Booty Man talking about how cute he is. He's hideous. DDP eventually grabs Kimbery and kisses her so she slaps him and Booty Man hits the high knee for the pin. So DDP's career is over! Guess we'll never see him again! Poor Kimberly has to kiss Booty Man after. This was fucking terrible.

Another funny insincere Lex Luger interview where he plays his abs like a guitar.

The Giant vs Loch Ness - Giant actually takes a crazy bump when he charges Loch Ness in the corner and goes all the way over the top rope when he misses. Loch Ness misses his big elbow and Giant hits a crap legdrop for the three. Wow, that was shit. Pretty obviously from the commentary that this was Loch Ness' final match and they were just using him to put someone over on his way out.

Sting and Booker T vs The Road Warriors - This was supposed to be Sting and Luger teaming but Jimmy Hart put Luger in the Doomsday Cage match instead (or so Luger claims!) So Sting is teaming with his enemy Booker T in a Chicago street fight. No tags required so we get a split screen as they pair off. But it stays in split screen sometimes even when all four are the ring at once which is distracting. Booker gives Hawk a piledriver ON THE FLOOR and Hawk no sells it. Dumb. Booker later puts a cross-armbreaker on Hawk which Hawk doesn't sell either. Hawk isn't good at selling. Sting uses a chair! Animal uses a chair! Hawk no sells another piledriver. Why do people keep trying to piledrive Hawk? A lot more brawling happens, in the ring and around the ring. It's not all worth noting. Heenan and Dusty rightly point out how dumb it is when the ref stops counting for a foot on the rope in a falls count anywhere match. Match is dragging hugely and it isn't even half over. It just goes on and on. Sting crotches Hawk then shakes him on the rope, so that's at least notable. Then just more random hitting each other. Fans do get into Booker's "break-dancing" and spin kicks. Then it just keeps going. Sting eventually walks backstage then walks back out with TWO BROOMS. So everyone hits each other with brooms for a while. Booker walks backstage for a rest or something and Animal follows. Luger is posing in front of a mirror and Animal accidentally hits him, so Luger and Stevie Ray attack Animal and tie him up. Booker goes back to the ring but misses the Harlem Hangover. Stevie Ray hits Hawk with a chair and Booker gets the pin. This lasted HALF AN HOUR. Ridiculous.

Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage vs The Alliance To End Hulkamania in a Doomsday Cage match - Okay, so I don't think I've described it yet but there's a second ring at the entrance way. There's three cages stacked on top of each other on this ring and scaffolding up the side of the cages. Sounds cool? Well, umm, wait until you see the match! Michael Buffer can't even pronounce "Mega Powers" correctly. But he's just there to say "let's get ready to rumble." So we get Ric Flair, Arn Anderon, Kevin Sullivan, Lex Luger, Meng, The Barbarian, Z Gangsta (Zeus) and...The Ultimate Solution. Yeah, it's a Nazi reference. I'm surprised he isn't on Hogan's side! Buffer talks about "the Mega Force". Seriously he can't say the word "powers" for some reason. Hogan and Savage start on the top cage with Flair and Anderson. But there's no ring there, just a cage, so they're standing on mesh and can't really do much. There's lots of puches and chops and eyerakes. Even Heenan is bad here as he keeps going on about how amazing this match is. It's terrible. And this is the cage that actually has good wrestlers in it! Anderson gets a Figure Four on Hogan as Flair gets one on Savage. Hogan and Savage throw powder into their eyes then climb down to the next level through a trapdoor. Okay? There's Luger, Sullivan, Barbarian and Meng on this level. You'd think the heels would have the advantage now but they don't really. And this level has two mini cages so Hogan locks Barbarian and Meng out quickly. Thanks for coming, Faces of Fear! Hogan and Sullivan fight on the scafold. Hogan tries to throw him off to muder him. What a hero. Hogan, Savage, Sullivan and Luger end up out of the cage and brawl around it and in the main ring. Eventually they settle down in the main ring (they never once used the ring at the bottom of the Cage of Doom.) Ultimate Solution (who is a fucking ridiculously huge freak) and Z Gangsta eventually come out and drag Hogan and Savage into the bottom cage at last. The two big guys can't do anything but shove Hogan and Savage over and choke them. Oh and bearhugs. Exciting. Some of the worst "wrestling" you're ever likely to see goes on until Anderson and Flair come in for some reason. It doesn't get any better. They beat down Hogan and Savage for ages before Booty Man hands them frying pans. Yeah, really. Lex Luger comes back in and puts A GLOVE on and goes to punch Savage (as Flair is holding him) but Savage ducks. Luger stops then punches Flair anyway. I think that was a fuck up? Who knows. Then Hogan and Savage start to go out the door, then Hogan remembers to tell Savage to run back in and pin Flair. Holy shit this was fucking awful.

DON'T WATCH THIS PPV IT'S SHIT.
 
25/3/1996

Nitro

Bischoff talking about Hulkamania dominating the world of wrestling is sickening. You know, I don't know why so many people were saying their childhood was ruined by Hogan being racist. I've always thought Hogan was a horrible person. It was pretty obvious.

Randy Savage vs Belfast Bruiser - Finlay hits some really good looking uppercuts. Savage actually hits more moves than usual, so the match is entertaining while it lasts. Finlay misses a charge into the ring post and Savage hits the flying elbow for the pin. Mongo: "They're going through another famine in Ireland now after watching that!" Mongo is shit.

Mean Gene interview Ric Flair. Flair starts singing "I've got the whole world in my hands" so I guess Bray Wyatt watched this. Flair thinks that Luger knocked him out intentionally out of jealousy.

Konan vs JL - Konan throws him around by the arm. JL comes back with armlocks. It picks up a bit, but as usual I find Konan's matches awkward. JL hits a nice DDT with Konan standing on the second rope. Konan hits an Alabama Slam for the pin. This was okay.

Booty Man vs Disco Inferno - Disco is about a million times more entertaining than Booty Man. Booty wins a total squash with the high knee after spending the whole match rubbing his own arse. Then we get to see him kiss Kim again. Mongo mentions his "little lady" named "Debra" during the match. Foreshadowing!

Sting and Lex Luger vs American Males - Luger only acts like a face when Sting is looking at him. Because Sting doesn't know that video tape exists. Scotty Riggs has a good dropkick. Bagwell was trained by Sting (apparently) so they have a competitive showdown. Luger acts heelish but the fans still go nuts for him. Sting pins Riggs with a standard crossbody. It was an entertaining match! Sting raises the Males' hands after.

Ric Flair vs The Giant - World heavyweight title is on the line! Giant shoves him down. Flair tries shoulderblocks but bounces off. His chops have no effect. Giant press slams him (everyone press slams Flair.) Giant suplexes him and Flair sells it like crazy. Flair goes up top but Giant catches him and hits a backbreaker. Giant goes to the top(!) and misses a splash. Crazy. But Flair still can't hurt him until Giant charges him in the corner but Flair moves and Giant goes over the top rope in another crazy bump. Flair chokes him with a wire. Flair goes to the eys and finally starts to hurt him with punches and chops but Giant can't be stopper! Flair goes low. Flair goes up but gets slammed off (yeah it's that spot.) Giant hits the chokeslam and Anderson hits him with a chair to save the title. Kevin Sullivan grabs the chair and Giant sees him with it and chokeslams him. Then chokeslams Anderson. This seems like a face turn for Giant. This was all very entertaining and they did an amazingly great job protecting Giant. Compare it to how WWF books him in 1999.

No Hogan this week!

RAW

Shawn Michaels vs Leif Cassidy - Leif is Al Snow's lastest gimmick as one half of The New Rockers with Marty Jannetty. We're in San Antonio so obviously Shawn is over like rover. He introduces Jose Lothario to the crowd, who comes out to Shawn's music which is kind of funny. Leif acts like a dork. Bret Hart comes out and Jerry Lawler runs away, so Bret takes over commentary. Good fast paced action here. Leif takes over with a nice sitout spinebuster thing and Marty Jannetty comes out. Shawn is bleeding somehow. They do a pinfall reversal thing then Leif fucks up trying to drop Shawn on the tope rope throat first from a powerbomb positionand Shawn lands on his back. I bet Shawn wasn't happy with Leif after this match. Leif hits a superplex but Shawn blocks a second and hits a top rope clothesline. Leif fucks up taking an atomic drop too. Jannetty gets invovled so Bret chases him off and Shawn hits Leif with the superkick for the win. Bret and Shawn get into an argument after.

Hunter Hearts Helmsely vs Aldo Montoya - Also gets some near falls before Hunter wins with the Pedigree.

Goldust talks about Roddy Piper from a "backlot." The words "EDITED FOR TELEVISION" flash up on screen to suggest that Goldust said things not fit to be broadcast.

You can buy the WrestleMania jacket for $180. I wonder if anyone did.

Mankind debuts on RAW next week.

Vince interviews the Undertaker (with Paul Bearer) in the ring. Blah blah blah "Diesel's going to die" blah blah blah "rest in peace."

More hype videos for the Iron Man Match.

Ahmed Johnson vs Owen Hart - Diana Hart is in the crowd, with the same look on her face that she always has. Ahmed's supposed to catch Owen coming off the ropes but he just falls over and kind of holds him in a bearhug on the mat. Bulldog distracts Ahmed and Owne gives him a spin kick over the top rope. Ahmed comes back with a spinebuster right away and Bulldog runs in for the DQ. Not much of a match. Vader runs in to destroy Ahmed and Yokozuna slowly makes his way down. Jake the Snake follows even more slowly.

A Bret Hart music video closes the show. At least it's not Billionaire Ted!

Nitro wins as the Flair/Giant match was the best thing on either show.


WrestleMania 12

Vince and Jerry hosting. Couldn't they put JR on for WrestleMania?

Vader, British Bulldog and Owen Hart vs Ahmed Johnson, Jake Roberts and Yokozuna - Jake looks so bad in there. Yoko might be huge and out of shape but at least he's trying hard and has some enjoyable exchanges with Vader early. Jake just looks embarrassing. Vader's strikes in the corner look great. Yoko hits him with a Rock Bottom to a big pop and tags Ahmed. Ahmed has charisma anyway. He just isn't very good as a wrestler. Owen gives him a missile dropkick when Ahmed goes for the Pearl River Plunge on Bulldog. Ahmed hits a sloppy clothesline on Owen's forehead and tags Jake. Sadly that means it's Jake's time to sell and since he can't take bumps this means the match slows down a lot. Owen gets two with a top rope elbow. Bulldog hits the running powerslam and Jake kicks out, which is pretty unbelievable. Jake makes the hot tag to Yoko who beats Vader down in the corner to a good reaction. Yoko tags back out to Jake who hits the DDT on Owen, but Cornette breaks up the pin. Jake goes for the DDT on Cornette but Vader stops him and hits the Vader Bomb for the three. Match was pretty good considering the limitations of the face team.

Rowdy Roddy Piper vs Goldust in a Hollywood Backlot Brawl - Piper's standing in the backlot with a baseball bat. Goldust arrives in his car so Piper smashes it up. Piper hits him with stuff. Piper hits some good stiff looking punches and injures his hand. Goldust hits a low blow and drives away in his car after running over Piper. Piper steals a car to chase him. And, umm, that's it. This was not as good as Piper's fight with Keith David.

Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Savio Vega - They start with brawling like they were doing on RAW to set the match up. Austin throws Vega into the ring post to take over. Austin works Vega's arm. Vega hits a nice kick as we go to Piper on the phone. Austin puts Vega into the post again and keeps working the arm. Vince calls Austin "a master Techtician!" I don't think that's a word. Piper keeps phoning in, making this feel like a RAW match. Austin hits the Thez Press to no reaction and it turns into a pinfall reversal sequence. Then we go to footage of Piper chasing Goldust and it's a dated (even at the time!) OJ Simpson joke. Austin goes for a move off the top(!) but Vega gets a foot up. Vega accidentally spin kicks the ref. Austin hits Vega with the Million Dollar Belt, then puts him on the apron and hits him with it again. Austin puts a messed up Million Dollar Dream on and the referee eventually wakes up and checks Vega and Austin wins. Austin needs a new finisher! The body of the match was good and both worked hard but the ending didn't really work and cutting away to Piper three times made it seem unimportant.

Hunter Heart Helmsely vs The Ultimate Warrior - Hunter's music gets a pop because the fans know it's Warrior time. HHH's escort tonight is a lady named Sable. Hunter attacks before the bell and hits the Pedigree. Warrior no sells it, hits three clotheslines, a flying shoulder tackle, gorilla press and splash for the pin. Totaly squash but what else would you expect? Oddly we cut away from the match RIGHT AWAY for an interview with newcomer Wildman Marc Mero (Johnny B. Badd.) Pettingill pronounces his name wrong. Hunter bangs into Mero as he's blaming Sable for his loss. They start brawling. Seriously it's amazing how quick they cut away from Warrior's celebration. These days we would have got a good couple of minutes of him playing to the crowd.

The Underataker vs Diesel - A spirited brawl to start, then the picture cuts out for a few seconds which is annoying. Taker actually hits a crossbody for two. Taker hits the ropewalk but misses a flying clothesline. Diesel whips him into the steel barricade (I miss the steel barricades) and smashes him into the post. Diesel hits the big boot in the ring. Taker is selling more than normal while still coming across as an undead zombie. Sidewalk slam gets two. Diesel looks quite the badass dominating the Undertaker. He does lock in a bearhug and I do hate bearhugs, but they've worked hard up to this point so I'll allow it. Taker hits a suplex out of a headlock. Taker hits a good flying clothesline from the top rope. Diesel comes back with the Jackknife. Undertaker sits up, but Diesel hits a second powerbomb. Diesel walks around the ring being cocky instead of going for the pin. Eventually he drops down and Taker catches him in a choke. Diesel pounds out of it twice but Taker keeps coming Taker hits a flying clothesline, chokeslam and Tombstone for the three. This was a good big man match. I mean Taker would get better in the ring after this as he toned the zombie stuff down further, but for the time period this was good.

Roddy Piper vs Goldust - They arrive back at the arena and head down to the ring (the cameras take a long time to find them.) Goldust takes control this time and works on Piper's legs. And touches up his ass. Goldust posts his legs then goes to the top rope. Piper crotches him, but Goldust comes back with a kiss. Piper grabs a testicular claw. He hits a low knee, stripls Goldust to reveal he's wearing women's underwear, then hits a second low knee. Goldust runs away and Piper's music plays. So I guess that's how you win a Hollywood Backlot Brawl?

Bret Hart vs Shawn Michaels in a One Hour Iron Man match for the WWF title - Gorilla Monsoon is welcome back as President of the WWF. Jose Lothario comes out to Shawn's music, which is funny. Shawn comes down on a zipline and lands in the crowd. This makes Bret look kind of dull by comparison as he just walks to the ring. Right by a "SHITMAN vs HBK" sign. Earl Hebner gives instructions over a live mic which is different! They start with mat wrestling, with Shawn keeping up with Bret. Shawn does a cool takedown counter to the headlock that you never see anyone else do. Bret keeps him in the headlock for a while and they fight over that. The wrestling is good, of course, but it's clearly that there's not going to be any pinfalls out of this. Bret keeps the advantage until Shawn takes control with armdrags and works the arm. They got seven minutes out of the headlock stuff. They finally start hitting each other and Shawn takes Bret out of the ring with a headscissors ten minutes in. Bret generally keeps going for headlocks and chinlocks and Shawn keeps going back to the arm, including a nice bridging armbar. Bret catches a Shawn leapfrog and goes for the Sharpshooter about fourteen minutes in, the clotheslines Shawn over the top. This leads to the memorable moment where Shawn goes for a Superkick on the floor but Bret moves and Shawn kicks the timekeeper. I guess that was just to add some excitment as Bret goes back to the chinlock in the ring. The timekeepr is carried away on a stretcher as Bret yells "this isn't a staring contest" at Hebner for not asking Shawn if he quits. Weird. They exchange hard clotheslines...then Bret goes right back to the chinlock. Shawn hits a nice drokicks to transition into control with another armbar. It does look like they're just wasting time at this point. Bret gets more aggressive to escape and Shawn responds by throwing Bret shoulder first into the ringpost, then telling the camera man to "get the fuck out of my way." He hits a shoulderbreaker and continues to work Bret's arm. Shawn puts a crossarmbreaker onto the wrong arm at one point. Bret eventually regains control by dropping Shawn throat first over the second rope. Bret shakes his arm a few times then stops selling it. He should have sold it more after everything Shawn did. Thirty minutes in the referee gets bumped in a weird spot. I don't think it was intentional as he counts normall right after. Bret hits a piledriver for two. That was about the first time you've maybe be able to buy something as the first fall and it took over thirty minutes. Shawn tosses Bret off the top like he's Ric Flair and hits a rana. Shawn goes for the superkick but Bret rolls outside to boos. Shawn comes off the top to the floor with a great crossbody. Bret rolls through another crossbody in the ring for two. The nearfalls are finally heating up as Shawn gets one off a small package and another with a Perfect Plex. Shawn tries to win with a sleeper which makes sense when they've been wrestling for nearly forty minutes. Bret regains control by backdropping Shawn over the corner to the floor. It's a great bump by Shawn, of course! Bret stupidly breaks the referee's count when he could have won a fall by countout. Bret goes to work on Shawn's back. He hits a Banzai Drop to Shawn's back. Blockbuster Suplex gets two. The match slows down again. Bret whips Shawn over the turnbuckles and Shawn lands on Jose on the way down. Bret whips him into the steps and again into Jose. Jerry Lawler is suddenly impressed by Bret for beating up an old man! Bret hits a belly to belly which is something you don't ever see from him, but even Lawler and Vince are wondering why he isn't going for the Sharpshooter. Bret hits a tope and this time goes for the countout. Shawn gets back in of course. German suplex gets two for Bret. Bret puts a camel clutch on with ten minutes left which is disappointing. Bret hits a top rope superplex approaching the six minute mark and finally goes for the Sharpshooter but Shawn escapes. Shawn starts his big comeback by getting his feet up when Bret comes off the second rope just under the five minute mark. Shawn gets a bunch of two counts from various moves. Shawn ges for a dropkick from the top but Bret catches him in the Sharpshooter with 30 seconds remaining. Shawn hangs on until the bell rings so it's a draw and Bret lets go. BUT WAIT. Gorilla declares that the match will continue in sudden death overtime and the first man to get a fall will be the winner. Bret goes after the back again but Shawn goes up and over and hits the Superkick. A second Superkick gets Shawn the win and he's the new champion.

So this a match a lot of people find boring and I can understand why. The layout is weird with no falls at all for the first hour. Is it because neither wanted to be the first to job? There's some great wrestling in there and both men put in strong performances. I didn't find it boring (well maybe at times in the second half) but I think it could have been more dramatic. Shawn only went for the Superkick twice in an hour! Bret only went for the Sharshooter three times, getting it on the third attempt. They should have been going for their big moves more often. But again it does have great moments and I do think it's a good match. It just could have been booked better. The Rock and Triple would go on to have a far more exciting Iron Man match four years later.

So, WrestleMania 12. It's okay? Not one of the best WMs but not on anyone's worst list either.
 
1/4/1996

Nitro

Sting vs The Giant - We start with them already in the ring wrsetling as Bischoff tries to explain a complex series of events that resulted in this match. It was supposed to be Sting and Giant vs Harlem Heat but Jimmy Hart paid off Harlem Heat. Sting tries a crossbody and just bounces off. Lex Luger runs in after a couple of minutes and the match just ends. We then get the opening titles after the match. Then we get to see that Jimmy Hart handed Harlem Heat a HUGE ENVELOPE to get them to walk out on the match. Non-linear story telling!

The Road Warriors vs The Steiner Brothers vs The Nasty Boys - Only two men in the ring at the same time. Someone holds up a "Pillman 3:16" sign! Match starts off good but has no flow to it and Hawk ends up holding a chinlock at one point which feels wrong. And it goes over ten minutes which is long for a Nitro match and too long for a match like this where not much is happening. Finish sees Johnny Grunge of Public Enemy run in dressed as Knobbs and Scott pins him. So he pinned a guy who wasn't in the match. Bischoff says it's the weird thing he's ever seen and suddenly concludes that it was Public Enemy who took out the Nasties backstage a few weeks ago.

Hulk Hogan and Booty Man vs Arn Anderson and Kevin Sullivan - Hogan's feud with the Dungeon and Horesemen rolls on, despite him easily defeating them all at Uncensored. Bobby Heenan announces during the match that this will be his last Nitro and he's retiring. Hogan and Booty suck so this match isn't good. Anderon's the only one in it who is entertaining to watch. Hogan pins Sullivan after hitting him with Kimberley's shoe. Bischoff says "booty" way too many times. Booty Man gets jumped briefly after the match which means this feud MUST CONTINUE FOREVER. Gene interviews Hogan after and the boos are hard to ignore. Booty says he has a SPECIAL MATCH next week to end this forever and fucking hell this interview is shit with Hogan saying "brother" so much and Gene doing stupid faces and the fans don't give a shit and I complain about RAW being outdated a lot but this Hogan shit is ever worse.

Ric Flair vs Lex Luger - Mongo's wife Debra is in the front row. Title is on the line of course. This is kind of an odd match as it's heel vs heel and Luger's been portrayed as a coward lately but he's playing babyface here. He press slams Flair twice while not much else is happening. Why does Flair love being press slammed so much? Then Flair goes up top and just stands there waiting for Luger to throw him off. Sometimes I hate Flair matches. All the fans seem interested in doing is going "wooo" and they get a chance to when Flair hits some chops. Flair finally knees Luger off the apron into the barricade. Flair gets the figure four. They go through some more of the usual spots. Luger hits a superplex and powerslam but Woman throws HOT COFFEE in his eyes before he can get the Torture Rack and Flair gets the pin with his feet on the ropes. Heenan has to lie and claim you can "see the steam coming off" of the "hot coffee" to sell this.

Heenan reveals that his retirment was an April Fools! Okay. This was a bad Nitro and it's not back for two weeks!

RAW

Mankind vs Bob Holly - There must be ECW fans in the crowd as they start chanting "he's hardcore!" for Mankind. The match is not good. Mankind wins with the Mandible Claw which gets no reaction since it's never been seen berore. Best thing about this was how they play piano music for Mankind's win rather than his entrance music.

Marc Mero vs Isaac Yankem - Sable is in the front row cheering on Mero. HHH comes out to hassle her. Mero wins with a top rope sunset flip. Fans do react to him. Maybe he'll go on to be a bigger star than that Mankind guy! Sable slaps Hunter.

The Body Donnas vs Barry Horowitz and Aldo Montoya - Body Donnas won the tag team titles last night on the WrestleMania pre show. That shows how important the tag titles are. Horowitz actually has Skip pinned at one point while the ref is distracted. Skip hits a top rope rana then Zip hits a top rope butt drop for the pin. Match went longer than you'd think.

Vince interviews Shawn in the ring and almot has an orgasm announcing Shawn's name. There's a big "SHAWN WHO? HITMAN RULES!" sign in the front row. Shawn's wearing a stupid hat with "Heartbreak Kid WWF champion" written on it. Vince tells Shawn that Jerry Lawler will be wrestling him next week. Couldn't they get someone younger? Shawn will defend against Diesel at In Your House: Good Friends Bette Enemies. Umm, why does Diesel deserve a title shot? He lost to The Undertaker! Surely Taker should get the shot?

Handsome Dok in the WWF Store is still embarrassing.

The Undetaker vs Justin Hawk Bradshaw - Bradshaw is undefeated! Can he beat The Undertaker? I'm guessing he can't. Slam of the Week is Goldust running over Roddy Piper. That's not a slam! Anyway this match is pretty good as Bradshaw has some good offence and Taker lets him get a lot in and sells for him (though the announcers credit his brutal match with Diesel the night before.) Taker ducks the Clothesline from Hell, hits a flying clothesline, chokeslam and Tombstone but Mankind runs in for the DQ. "He's hardcore!" Mankind hits his running elbow to the floor and puts the Mandible Claw on Taker. Mankind keeps attacking Taker despite the refs pulling him off. This made up for Mankind's disappointing debut match.

YOU KNOW WHAT? For once...RAW wins.


8/4/1996

RAW

Yokozuna vs Vader - Mr Perfect is on commentary because Lawler is wrestling. You can tell this was taped after last week's show because all the same signs are still visible. They hit each other with some stiff shots then Yoko hits an impressive Samoan Drop. Vader beats him down with his usual strikes. Yoko comes back with a Rock Bottom and leg drop. Yoko misses a charge into the corner and Vader hits a Vader Bomb to his leg. The referee stops the match and Perfect declares Yoko's leg is broken. Vader hits two further Vader Bombs to the leg. Vince says some fans were enjoying what Vader did and calls them sick! They can't get Yoko out on a stretcher so they use a forklift.

Vince introduces The Ultimate Warrior for an interview. He says some stuff. Then Goldust comes out. Goldust is really tall. He does his Goldust noise so Warrior growls. Goldust wants to have gay sex with him. Warrior says he doesn't give a "shit"(it's bleeped.) Warrior gives him a clothesline.

Vader attacks Yoko's leg with a chair as he's being carried around on a forklift!

Hunter Heart Helmsley vs Duke "The Dumpster" Droese - Duke throws him around, including a press slam (Hunter is a big fan of Ric Flair!) Weird seeing HHH as a guy who bumped all over the place. Hutner's offence is a lot of stomps. Duke comes back with an array of slams. Hunter lands on his feet on a tilt-a-whirl and hits the Pedigree for the win. Hunter did not look like a star yet.

Ahmed Johnson vs British Bulldog in an arm wrestlng contest - Oh. Great. Owen Hart is there at least and talks about Bulldog's rock hard muscles. He says Ahmed has too much oil on him which is against arm wrestling regulations! The referee eventually sends Owen to the back. Ahmed wins so Bulldog hits him with three chair shots and Irish whips him into the table twice (it doesn't break.) He hits Ahmed with the table and the "he's hardcore!" chants return. He throws the table on Ahmed. I'm not sure if he's trying to break it, really. Diana Hart is watching with the same look on her face that she always has.

Shawn Michaels vs Jerry "The King" Lawler - Diesels joins the commentary team. He refuses to shake Vince's hand. Worked shoot! Kind of! Diesel: "I'm part of the Clique!" Match starts with a lot of comedy. Lawler hits him with an invisible foreign object to take over. He hits some punches and chokes. Lawler hits a piledriver for two. Shawn makes his comeback and hits the Superkick for the win. It just seems like an odd choice to have your top young star have his first tv match as champion be against a middle aged cmmentator in a borderline comedy match. Diesel was entertaining on commentary. Diesel and Shawn get into a brawl after and Mr Perfect tosses the championship belt (Vince actaully says "belt"!) to Diesel who hits Shawn with it.


15/4/1996

Nitro

Hulk Hogan vs Kevin Sullivan and Arn Anderson - Wait, so Booty Man's big idea to finally end this feud was for Hogan to be in a handicap match? Actually the announcers explain that Booty Man was injured and the rules of the match so that if Hogan wins he gets five minues alone with Elizabeth or Woman and if the heels win they get five minutes alone with the Booty Babe. Uhh...what? It's a rape match? Hogan just destroys both men by himself like the insecure prick that he is. He even no sells a chair shot. Hogan pins Sullivan after the legdrop. He then grabs Elizabeth and Woman and declares he'll "have" both of them but eventually goes for Jimmy Hart instead. He rips Hart's shirt off and gives him a big boot but the Giant comes out and gives Hogan a chokeslam. Hogan no sells it then body slams Giant. He then nearly body slams Mean Gene who stupidly jumps into the ring while Hogan's slamming people. Seriously Hogan's weekly ego trip is intolerable at this point. Lots of boos for him when the interview finally starts.

Public Enemy vs The Nasty Boys - Nasties attack them from behind with plunda before the bell. Lots of hitting each other with garbage cans and chairs. Then with tables too. It's entertaining at first but gets boring eventually. Just the same thing happening again and again. Grunge goes through a table ass first and Knobbs pins him. This went WAY too long. Public Enemy attack them AGAIN after and put Saggs through a table.

Randy Savage vs Earl Robert Eaton - Savage is going to be in a cartoon named "Dial M For Monkey". Okay! There's a guy dressed as Fred Flintstone in the crowd. Eaton puts Savage in a figure four and taunts him with a Horsemen t-shirt. Savage wins with the flying elbow. Savage hits another elbow after because he's mad about Elizabeth spending all his money. A bunch of jobbers hold Savage down after and security handcuffs him, which is a bit much since all he did was hit his finisher once after the match.

Sting and Lex Luger vs Ric Flair and The Giant - Tag titles are on the line. There's guys in the crowd giving each other Torture Racks. You don't see things like that anymore! Flair takes a press slam from Sting, then Luger press slams him to the floor (The Giant catches him) which should be a DQ by WCW rules but it's ignored. Mongo: "The last time I saw a guy getting the boots like that it was Rodney King!" Mongo is a bad commentator. Flair gets the figure four on Luger. Giant press drops Luger, possibly to make Flair happy. Luger makes the hot tag after, yep, press slamming Flair off the top. Sting gets the Scorpion on Flair but Woman tries to throw hot coffee in Luger's eyes again and Luger ducks and it hits Sting. Flair keeps trying to go for pins even after the it's been announced his team lost by DQ.

RAW

Marc Mero vs Leif Cassidy - Mero has Sable and her huge tits with him. Someone has a "Lee Cassidy, WWF champion in 7 years" sign. That's wrong in two ways! Mero is pretty impressive here with good crisp moves. Cassidy doesn't fuck anything up this week. Jannetty gets involved on the outside and Sable angrily points at him. Vince says Sable is the "classiest lady we've ever seen on RAW." Mero wins with the top rope sunset flip again. It was a decent match.

Diesel calls in. It's going to be no holds barred at Good Friends, Better Enemies. He doesn't say anything interesting.

Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Bart Gunn - Austin was pinned by "The Caribbean Kid" on Superstars and it was Savio Vega under a mask. Bart Gunn is fine in the ring but also completely boring. He has no character. After some headlock stuff, Austin takes over by throwing Gunn over the top rope. Austin shows some fire putting the boots to him. Austin has good mannerisms and execution, but the fans are mostly not even looking at the ring during the match. Austin works a chinlock. Some excitement outside the ring then back to the chinlock. Gunn makes his comeback and hits a bulldog and Vince does the tired "he got him, he got him" thing. Gunn gets a couple more two counts then locks on a sleepr but Austin hits a jawbreaker, throws Gunn into the post and gets the Million Dollar Dream on for the win. He needs a new finisher. This was a step down ater Austin's quite good matches with Savio Vega.

Vince interviews Vader and Jim Cornette in the ring. Cornette talks about Vader destroying Gorilla Monsoon and breaking Yokozuna's leg. Vince announces that Vader will tak on Razor Ramon at In Your House. Cornette predicts that Razor's career will take a huge downward spiral after the match with Vader. Not quite! Vader and Cornette are kind of the 1996 version of Lesner and Heyman. Kind of.

Music video for Sunny. It's just a few different clips spliced together to her theme music. Shoddy. I remember I found her hot at the time and I probably wanked over this, but I was 14 and would have wanked over anything. I feel nothing watching it now. Nothing!

Goldust vs Savio Vega - Intercontinental title is on the line. Loads of stalling at the start, but it's pretty good once it gets going. Goldust's act gets great heat. Goldust takes the mic during the match and says if the fans don't shut up he's going to go out there and kiss each and every one of them. Vega goes for a superplex after slapping Goldust's ass a lot but Goldust counters by kissing him. Goldust then comes off the top onto a boot. Vega runs into the referee. Goldust tries to hit Vega with the belt but Vega kicks him then hits Goldust with the belt. The first ref counts the three but the second saw Vega use the belt and calls for a DQ. Gorilla declares the IC title vacant and that a rematch will take place next week.

Exclusive footage of Bret Hart after the Iron Man match with Shawn just walking backstage and driving off without even taking a shower. Smelly. Then an interview with Bret from Germany where he rightly points out that if there was going to be sudden death overtime in the Iron Man match then the bell shouldn't have been rung after 60 minutes and he never would have broken the Sharpshooter. You can't really argue with that. Bret says he could never work for an other wrestling organisation because it would be a "step down." But he has less yearning to return because he feels betrayed.

Umm, I don't know which shows wins. Both had good and bad. Let's say RAW.

22/4/1996

Nitro

Public Enemy vs American Males - This is a standard match rather than a hardcore match, which doesn't suit Public Enemy. Bischoff says hello to Brian Pillman during the match who is recovering from a severe automobile accident. Johnny Grunge is really fat. It's actually a perfectly fine tag match until PE are DQed for throwing the Males over the top rope. They put Riggs through a table with the "Enemy Sandwich" after that.

Mean Gene and some women "randomly" draw some names for the upcoming Lethal Lottery thing. They just HAPPEN to draw Randy Savage and Ric Flair teaming up against Arn Anderson and Eddie Guerrero. What are the odds.

Eddie Guerrero vs Chris Benoit - This might be good! It's a good match but not one of their best. Benoit wins holding the ropes.

Mean Gene interviews Randy Savage who threatens an executive guy in a suit for some reason.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs Meng - Lots of punches from Duggan. Bischoff gives away the taped RAW results again. Duggan tries to ram Meng into the turnbuckle and headbutt him LIKE AN IDIOT. Meng uses an exciting nerve hold. Duggan does a stupid face. I know it's 1996 but this feels dated. Duggan wins by taping up his fist and punching Meng. They act like this is a big upset.

More "random" name drawing by Mean Gene. It's boring as fuck.

Sting and Lex Luger vs Ric Flair and The Giant - ALL titles are on the line! Luger's TV title, Sting and Luger's Tag titles AND Flair's World title. Bischoff indicates that The Giant could even pin his own tag partner Flair to win the World title, which makes no sense. Flair hits on Debra McMichael on the way to the ring. Randy Savage tries to attack Flair before the match and is arrested and handcuffed. HEY GUESS WHAT FLAIR GETS PRESS SLAMMED BY BOTH STING AND LUGER. I know, I couldn't believe it either. And goes up top so he can get tossed off by Sting, then superplex. Seriously does no one else get sick of every Flair/Sting match being exactly the same? Sting tries a Stinger Splash on the outside and hits the guard rail like he always does too. Sting no sells a Flair suplex while Flair struts around. Like always. LOOK I'm not saying Flair doesn't work hard and take dozens of great bumps every match, it's just really noticable that it's always the same sequences. Woman hands HOT COFFEE to Flair and he tries to throw it on Sting and Luger but they move and it hits The Giant. So the match ends with a DQ and no titles change hands despite them all being on the line. Giant: "That coffee burned but it lit a fire in my soul!" He wants a title match with Flair next week. Flairs agrees and says "ass" and Bischoff apologises.


RAW

Goldust vs Savio Vega - Rematch for the vacant IC championship. Goldust takes over with a low mule kick then works over Savio's leg. He then puts on a seated chinlock (like a lazy camel clutch), which seems weird after working over the leg. Lawler keeps saying stupid random things and Vince keeps shouting at him. Warrior cuts an inset promo as the chinlock rolls on. Goldust jumps onto Vega's knee crotch first and it hurts both Vega's leg and Goldust's crotch. Goldust tries to pull Vega's crotch first into the ringpost but Vega pulls his legs back and Goldust hits the post. Stone Cold comes out to watch the match. Vega makes a brief comeback but then goes for a splash and hits knees like he always does when he goes for that splash. Vega lands on his feet on a Curtain Call attempt and hits a roundhouse kick for two. Vince does his stupid "THAT WAS THREE" thing he always does. Marlena distracts the ref and Austin hits Vega with the Million Dollar Championship belt leading to the Goldust pin. This had a long boring stretch and wasn't as good as their match last week.

Vader vs Fatu - Fatu actually hits his RKO/Bulldog thing and top rope splash, but Vader no sells it then the fans chant for a moonsault(!) and Vader hits one for the win.

Extended clips of Jake Roberts and British Bulldog brawling on a German house show. Like a really long clip.

The Godwinns vs Jobber and TAJIRI - Wait, THAT Tajiri? Yes! It is! He hits a standing backflip early and is already clearly a better wrestler than the Godwinns. But he's smalland Japanese so he's a jobber here. Henry Godwinn puts a bearhug on the other jobber (Patterson)'s legs? Then drops down to a proper bearhug. I have no idea what he was doing. Sunny comes but Hillbilly Jim and "Old Blue" (a dog) chase her away. Godwinns hit some boring punches then Henry pins Patterson with the Slop Drop. The Body Donnas attack the Godwinns from behind after (they didn't have Hillbilly Jim to warn them!) and beat them down and rub slop in Phineas' face.

Aldo Montoya vs Mankind - Mankind looks better here than in his debut match. Montoya gets a couple of dropkicks in before Mankind hits his cool piledriver and gets the Mandible Claw on for the win.

Hype video for Shawn/Diesel at In Your House. Then an interview with Diesel from Germany. He says he doesn't want the belt because when he was champion "Vince McMahon and the corporate puppets" tried to make him into something he wasn't.

I'll give Nitro the win.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top