CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Halloween Havoc 1996
Rey Mysterio vs Dean Malenko - For the Cruiserweight title, so Mike Tenay joins commentary. Great start with Rey smoothly flying around and Malenko always being in the right place to catch him. Rey gets his stolen mask back and takes the one he was wearing at the start of the match off to put it on. Seems like a waste of time! Malenko comes back by throwing Rey around, getting him up for a suplex then just throwing him into the top rope. He goes after Rey's leg, then hits a back superplex from the top rope. Then puts on a headscissors. So he hasn't really picked a body part yet. He hits a variety of different moves and holds. Well, he is the man of a thousand holds! He gets a sleeper on with a body scissors. Rey comes back with his speed and they both fall off the top rope to the floor. They mess something up outside the ring. Rey gets some cool roll-ups for two. Rey hits a twist springboard thing to the floor. Rey hits a rana for two, Malenko counters another with a sit-out powerbomb for two. A gut wrench powerbomb from the top gets the win for Malenko and he's the new Cruiserweight champion. Some great stuff here and it was obvious the fans hadn't seen a lot of it before given their reaction.
Lee Marshal talks to Jeff Jarrett. He still says "ha ha ha!" randomly after some words. Ric Flair shows up and says there will be a line of women a mile long waiting to shag Jeff Jarrett tonight. Wooo.
Eddie Guerrero vs Diamond Dallas Page - The Battle Bowl ring is on the line because that's still a thing. Eddie uses headlocks. He's great in the ring but he's a characterless babyface at this point. The fans do get behind him a bit though, because he is likable. He beats DDP up around the ring. DDP takes over and whips him into the guardrail, then calls Eddie "girlfriend" to the amusement of Dusty. He hits some moves and uses an abdominal stretch, another move nobody does now. DDP and referee Nick Patrick end up in a shoving match, which gets cheers for heel ref Patrick. They do a pinfall reversal sequence which is hurt by Nick Patrick's slow counts. DDP takes some big bumps off Eddie's uppercuts. Eddie dives off the top to the floor. DDP coms back with a flapjack, powerbomb, then hits the Diamond Cutter after a slow set-up for the clean win. Weird finish that made Eddie look super weak. Match was fine.
Randy Savage is with Mike Tenay for the Slim Jim monster truck draw. Despite his life falling apart he'll still go all out for his Slim Jim contractual obligations! Oh yeah!
You can listen to the show live on Compuserve! It's the information age!
Mike Tenay talks to Dean Malenko.
Ted DiBiase does an NWO interview with The Giant. Ted DiBiase is boring. The Giants say he's going to send the Horsemen to the glue factory.
The Giant vs Jeff Jarrett - Giant stole the US title from Ric Flair. Jarrett gets booed coming out. Oh dear. Ric Flair then comes out and does get cheered. Jarrett still gets booed when the match starts. He struts a lot. Giant gets cheered for throwing him around. Jarrett has some success with a sleeper hold. Giant escapes and uses a backbreaker. Flair gets on the mic and tells Jarrett to "kick his NWO ass, wooo!" Giant hits some weak backbreakers. Giant uses a bear hug. This is boring. Jarrett hits some dropkicks and gets two with a top rope crossbody. Giants goes for a chokeslam on the floor but Ric Flair saves with a low blow and Giant wins by DQ. This didn't work at all as Jarrett was positioned like a plucky babyface but no one would cheer him because he's such a smug git.
Ted DiBiase talks to Syxx now. He says he'll crucify Chris Jerich for the sins of WCW.
Chris Jericho vs Syxx - Jericho's another unover babyface being sent out there against the cool NWO. Nice quick sequence to start. The Dungeon of Doom are sitting in the front row (for some reason) and Nick Patrick is the ref, so those are distraction from the match. And why waste first row seats on the Dungeon? Wouldn't they make more money selling tickets to those seats? Syxx dropkicks Jericho off the top. Syxx hits good kicks. Jericho gets booed when he makes his comeback. Dusty says "slobberknocker." Jericho dropkicks Syxx coming off the top. Jericho hits the Lionsault but Patrick does a slow count. Syxx his a kick and Patrick counts normally to give him the win. Match was good but at the level of a good Nitro match rather than a good ppv match.
Tenay interviews Lex Luger, whose hair looks crazy.
Lex Luger vs Arn Anderson - Anderson beats him up until Luger no sells and scares him with his muscles. Luger works over Anderson's back. Luger wants to show Arn how tough he is. Arn hits his spinebuster. Now Arn works Luger's back as Dusty goes nuts talking about Buddy Holly. Luger blocks the DDT. The ref gets bumped. Anderson treis to use a chair but Luger catapualts him into the ringpost (in slow motion.) Luger hits him in the back three times with the chair and wins with the Torture Rack. He keeps it on after the match as the Dungeon of Doom cheer him on. Flair and Jarrett come out to check on Anderson and he's carried away on a stretcher.
Meng and The Barbarian vs Chris Benoit and Steve McMichael - Mongo and Meng charge into each other a few times until Mongo hits a football charge thing. Dusty: "He knocked his dirty socks off!" Benoit and Barbarian chop each other and Benoit hits a northern lights suplex. Benoit does his intense stomping. Meng challenge Mongo to a sumo match. Meng wins that one, so Mongo chopblocks his legs. They beat down Mongo (why?) and he hits a dropkick(!) but misses a second. Benoit comes in but takes the insane backdrop to a powerbomb move. Then he takes Barbarian's insane overhead belly to belly, going all the way across the ring. Hey, this Benoit guy was nuts. The Faces hit their double diving heatbutt from the top but Mongo makes the save. Meng hits a splash on Benoit but Mongo hit him with the briefcase and Benoit hits his own diving headbutt to win. Match was enjoyable but a bit anti-climactic. Kevin Sulliva, Big Bubba and Konnan jumpt he barricdae to attack the Horsemen after. Jimmy Hart shouts at Woman that she was supposed to call Kevin Sullivan and this wouldn't have happened if she had. A subtle reference to Woman being the real life wife of Sullivan at the time.
Harlem Heat vs Kevin Nash and Scott Hall - Something happens in the crowd to distract the fans from the match so nothing much happens for the first couple of minutes. Booker hiptosses Hall over the top and Stevie clothesline him. Hall spits on Stevie and tags in Nash. Stevie knocks Nash down and spit on Hall, but is booed. WCW guys still don't come across as cool as the NWO guys. Booker hits a scissor kick for two. Nash gets Hall in and he hits his second rope bulldog. Booker takes over and Heat work over Hall. Nash comes in and runs through his three moves on Booker. Hall chokeslams him for two. Sherri slaps Hall then he forces a kiss on her (to cheers, of course.) Hall crotches Booker on the top rope. Stevie gets the hot tag but he's not a very exciting fired up babyface. Just as I typed that he presses Hall onto Nash and does get a positive reaction. Harlem Heat hit the Harlem Hangover but the ref is distracted. Robert Parker tries to hit Nash with his cane (angry about what happened to Sherri) but Nash threatens him to get the cane and is Stevie with it and Hall gets the pin to give the Outsiders the tag titles.
Hollywood Hogan is in the crowd. He's still wearing his wig from Three Ninjas.
Hollywood Hogan vs Randy Savage - So after two months this match is finally taking place. And in those twon months, Savage hasn't won a match, has had his ass kicked by the NWO many times, and had his mind messed with by Elizabeth. And he threatened to murder Hogan. The thing is they had to put Savage in the main event because of the Slim Jim connection, but his contract was expired so they couldn't have him look strong. Or something. It's WCW. Michael Buffer starts announcing Hogan while Macho Man's music plays. Macho Man's monster truck comes out with him. It's a monster truck with a hat! Hogan stalls to start. You'd think nothing would stop Savage from trying to kill him. Hey at least Hogan manages to get a heel reaction by acting like a coward, something Hall and Nash failed to do. Hogan starts wrestling with his glasses on, which is silly! Lots more stalling. Dusty says Macho is focused and being smart by not attacking Hogan. Maybe so but it's not exactly entertaining. Hogan cheap shots him to take over. He htis the axe bomber clothesline. Savage fnally ducks a clothesline and gets some punches and a double axe in. He puts Hogan's glasses on. He rips Hogan's wig off and puts it on. Then tries to make Hogan eat it. He gives Hogan a chair shot to the head. This is the most offense Savage has hit in like three months. Hogan gets the chair and his Savage in the back a couple of times. Elizabeth comes out in a Macho Man style dress. We get to see Hogan's ass when Savage pulls his tights down to roll him up. Hogan begs off and hides behind Liz. Hogan hits the big boot and Elizabeth comes in to check on Savage. Hogan misses the legdrop. Elizabeth stops Hogan using an object. The ref is bumped and Nick Patrick comes out to take over. Savage hits the elbow but Patrick stops to sell his neck instead of counting three. Savage uses the object on Hogan. Giant gives Savage a weak chokeslam on the floor. He puts Hogan on top and Patrick counts the three. So yeah, not exactly a good match or anything but I do appreciate Hogan's willingness to heel it up and seek boos (unlike Hall and Nash) but that chokeslam was bad and Savage has to sell it like death. Giant drops ice water on Hogan to wake him up.
Hogan cuts a promo but is interrupted...by bagpipes. Rowdy Roddy Piper comes out as Hogan looks shocked. Hogan sucks up to Piper and says they made wretling together. Piper says he's just as big an icon in wrestling as Hogan and just as big a Hollywood star. Not sure if the second one is all that impressive. He cuts a typically insane, fired up Piper promo. He says the word "Wrestlemania" on a WCW ppv and says if they hadn't hated Piper so much they wouldn't have love Hogan so much and points out that Hogan has never beat him. They shake hands but then Hogan tells Piper to squat in the bathroom.
Rey Mysterio vs Dean Malenko - For the Cruiserweight title, so Mike Tenay joins commentary. Great start with Rey smoothly flying around and Malenko always being in the right place to catch him. Rey gets his stolen mask back and takes the one he was wearing at the start of the match off to put it on. Seems like a waste of time! Malenko comes back by throwing Rey around, getting him up for a suplex then just throwing him into the top rope. He goes after Rey's leg, then hits a back superplex from the top rope. Then puts on a headscissors. So he hasn't really picked a body part yet. He hits a variety of different moves and holds. Well, he is the man of a thousand holds! He gets a sleeper on with a body scissors. Rey comes back with his speed and they both fall off the top rope to the floor. They mess something up outside the ring. Rey gets some cool roll-ups for two. Rey hits a twist springboard thing to the floor. Rey hits a rana for two, Malenko counters another with a sit-out powerbomb for two. A gut wrench powerbomb from the top gets the win for Malenko and he's the new Cruiserweight champion. Some great stuff here and it was obvious the fans hadn't seen a lot of it before given their reaction.
Lee Marshal talks to Jeff Jarrett. He still says "ha ha ha!" randomly after some words. Ric Flair shows up and says there will be a line of women a mile long waiting to shag Jeff Jarrett tonight. Wooo.
Eddie Guerrero vs Diamond Dallas Page - The Battle Bowl ring is on the line because that's still a thing. Eddie uses headlocks. He's great in the ring but he's a characterless babyface at this point. The fans do get behind him a bit though, because he is likable. He beats DDP up around the ring. DDP takes over and whips him into the guardrail, then calls Eddie "girlfriend" to the amusement of Dusty. He hits some moves and uses an abdominal stretch, another move nobody does now. DDP and referee Nick Patrick end up in a shoving match, which gets cheers for heel ref Patrick. They do a pinfall reversal sequence which is hurt by Nick Patrick's slow counts. DDP takes some big bumps off Eddie's uppercuts. Eddie dives off the top to the floor. DDP coms back with a flapjack, powerbomb, then hits the Diamond Cutter after a slow set-up for the clean win. Weird finish that made Eddie look super weak. Match was fine.
Randy Savage is with Mike Tenay for the Slim Jim monster truck draw. Despite his life falling apart he'll still go all out for his Slim Jim contractual obligations! Oh yeah!
You can listen to the show live on Compuserve! It's the information age!
Mike Tenay talks to Dean Malenko.
Ted DiBiase does an NWO interview with The Giant. Ted DiBiase is boring. The Giants say he's going to send the Horsemen to the glue factory.
The Giant vs Jeff Jarrett - Giant stole the US title from Ric Flair. Jarrett gets booed coming out. Oh dear. Ric Flair then comes out and does get cheered. Jarrett still gets booed when the match starts. He struts a lot. Giant gets cheered for throwing him around. Jarrett has some success with a sleeper hold. Giant escapes and uses a backbreaker. Flair gets on the mic and tells Jarrett to "kick his NWO ass, wooo!" Giant hits some weak backbreakers. Giant uses a bear hug. This is boring. Jarrett hits some dropkicks and gets two with a top rope crossbody. Giants goes for a chokeslam on the floor but Ric Flair saves with a low blow and Giant wins by DQ. This didn't work at all as Jarrett was positioned like a plucky babyface but no one would cheer him because he's such a smug git.
Ted DiBiase talks to Syxx now. He says he'll crucify Chris Jerich for the sins of WCW.
Chris Jericho vs Syxx - Jericho's another unover babyface being sent out there against the cool NWO. Nice quick sequence to start. The Dungeon of Doom are sitting in the front row (for some reason) and Nick Patrick is the ref, so those are distraction from the match. And why waste first row seats on the Dungeon? Wouldn't they make more money selling tickets to those seats? Syxx dropkicks Jericho off the top. Syxx hits good kicks. Jericho gets booed when he makes his comeback. Dusty says "slobberknocker." Jericho dropkicks Syxx coming off the top. Jericho hits the Lionsault but Patrick does a slow count. Syxx his a kick and Patrick counts normally to give him the win. Match was good but at the level of a good Nitro match rather than a good ppv match.
Tenay interviews Lex Luger, whose hair looks crazy.
Lex Luger vs Arn Anderson - Anderson beats him up until Luger no sells and scares him with his muscles. Luger works over Anderson's back. Luger wants to show Arn how tough he is. Arn hits his spinebuster. Now Arn works Luger's back as Dusty goes nuts talking about Buddy Holly. Luger blocks the DDT. The ref gets bumped. Anderson treis to use a chair but Luger catapualts him into the ringpost (in slow motion.) Luger hits him in the back three times with the chair and wins with the Torture Rack. He keeps it on after the match as the Dungeon of Doom cheer him on. Flair and Jarrett come out to check on Anderson and he's carried away on a stretcher.
Meng and The Barbarian vs Chris Benoit and Steve McMichael - Mongo and Meng charge into each other a few times until Mongo hits a football charge thing. Dusty: "He knocked his dirty socks off!" Benoit and Barbarian chop each other and Benoit hits a northern lights suplex. Benoit does his intense stomping. Meng challenge Mongo to a sumo match. Meng wins that one, so Mongo chopblocks his legs. They beat down Mongo (why?) and he hits a dropkick(!) but misses a second. Benoit comes in but takes the insane backdrop to a powerbomb move. Then he takes Barbarian's insane overhead belly to belly, going all the way across the ring. Hey, this Benoit guy was nuts. The Faces hit their double diving heatbutt from the top but Mongo makes the save. Meng hits a splash on Benoit but Mongo hit him with the briefcase and Benoit hits his own diving headbutt to win. Match was enjoyable but a bit anti-climactic. Kevin Sulliva, Big Bubba and Konnan jumpt he barricdae to attack the Horsemen after. Jimmy Hart shouts at Woman that she was supposed to call Kevin Sullivan and this wouldn't have happened if she had. A subtle reference to Woman being the real life wife of Sullivan at the time.
Harlem Heat vs Kevin Nash and Scott Hall - Something happens in the crowd to distract the fans from the match so nothing much happens for the first couple of minutes. Booker hiptosses Hall over the top and Stevie clothesline him. Hall spits on Stevie and tags in Nash. Stevie knocks Nash down and spit on Hall, but is booed. WCW guys still don't come across as cool as the NWO guys. Booker hits a scissor kick for two. Nash gets Hall in and he hits his second rope bulldog. Booker takes over and Heat work over Hall. Nash comes in and runs through his three moves on Booker. Hall chokeslams him for two. Sherri slaps Hall then he forces a kiss on her (to cheers, of course.) Hall crotches Booker on the top rope. Stevie gets the hot tag but he's not a very exciting fired up babyface. Just as I typed that he presses Hall onto Nash and does get a positive reaction. Harlem Heat hit the Harlem Hangover but the ref is distracted. Robert Parker tries to hit Nash with his cane (angry about what happened to Sherri) but Nash threatens him to get the cane and is Stevie with it and Hall gets the pin to give the Outsiders the tag titles.
Hollywood Hogan is in the crowd. He's still wearing his wig from Three Ninjas.
Hollywood Hogan vs Randy Savage - So after two months this match is finally taking place. And in those twon months, Savage hasn't won a match, has had his ass kicked by the NWO many times, and had his mind messed with by Elizabeth. And he threatened to murder Hogan. The thing is they had to put Savage in the main event because of the Slim Jim connection, but his contract was expired so they couldn't have him look strong. Or something. It's WCW. Michael Buffer starts announcing Hogan while Macho Man's music plays. Macho Man's monster truck comes out with him. It's a monster truck with a hat! Hogan stalls to start. You'd think nothing would stop Savage from trying to kill him. Hey at least Hogan manages to get a heel reaction by acting like a coward, something Hall and Nash failed to do. Hogan starts wrestling with his glasses on, which is silly! Lots more stalling. Dusty says Macho is focused and being smart by not attacking Hogan. Maybe so but it's not exactly entertaining. Hogan cheap shots him to take over. He htis the axe bomber clothesline. Savage fnally ducks a clothesline and gets some punches and a double axe in. He puts Hogan's glasses on. He rips Hogan's wig off and puts it on. Then tries to make Hogan eat it. He gives Hogan a chair shot to the head. This is the most offense Savage has hit in like three months. Hogan gets the chair and his Savage in the back a couple of times. Elizabeth comes out in a Macho Man style dress. We get to see Hogan's ass when Savage pulls his tights down to roll him up. Hogan begs off and hides behind Liz. Hogan hits the big boot and Elizabeth comes in to check on Savage. Hogan misses the legdrop. Elizabeth stops Hogan using an object. The ref is bumped and Nick Patrick comes out to take over. Savage hits the elbow but Patrick stops to sell his neck instead of counting three. Savage uses the object on Hogan. Giant gives Savage a weak chokeslam on the floor. He puts Hogan on top and Patrick counts the three. So yeah, not exactly a good match or anything but I do appreciate Hogan's willingness to heel it up and seek boos (unlike Hall and Nash) but that chokeslam was bad and Savage has to sell it like death. Giant drops ice water on Hogan to wake him up.
Hogan cuts a promo but is interrupted...by bagpipes. Rowdy Roddy Piper comes out as Hogan looks shocked. Hogan sucks up to Piper and says they made wretling together. Piper says he's just as big an icon in wrestling as Hogan and just as big a Hollywood star. Not sure if the second one is all that impressive. He cuts a typically insane, fired up Piper promo. He says the word "Wrestlemania" on a WCW ppv and says if they hadn't hated Piper so much they wouldn't have love Hogan so much and points out that Hogan has never beat him. They shake hands but then Hogan tells Piper to squat in the bathroom.