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What Seph Did Next
- Thread starter CaptainWacky
- Start date
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
(Seph and Trooser arrive at his Ready Room. SCIENCE GIRL is still inside.)
SG: Finally!
Seph: Fuck you. I wanted someone to fuck.
Trooser: But you can fuck her, see...
(Trooser takes Science Girl's glasses off and lets her hair down. She is ACTUALLY BEAUTIFUL.)
Seph: Oh, right. Let's fuck then.
SG: No, I...no...
Seph: Stop fucking resisting, you know you want to!
(Science Girl CAN'T RESIST and starts SEX KISSING Seph. They end up IN BED.)
Trooser: AHAHAHAHAAHAHA, FINALLY! MY PLAN HAS WORKED! MY PLAN TO DESTROY THE UNIVERSE BY TRICKING SEPH INTO FUCKING A HOLE IN THE FABRIC OF SPACE AND TIME HAS WORKED! BECAUSE, YOU SEE, I, TROOSER, AM ACTUALLY...
(Seph kicks Trooser in the side of the head.)
Seph: Fuck the up shut, Trooser.
(Seph POPS back into bed with Science Girl who is NAKED and her body is PALE. HIS VISION HAS COME TRUE.)
Seph: Your breasts are so pale.
SG: I know, I know. I'm so happy we can be together.
Seph: Fuck, your thighs are pale too.
SG: Oh Seph, you say the sweetest things! Kiss me!
Seph: I'll shag you.
SG: Oh Seph!
Seph: Oh Woman.
(He starts kissing her and everything starts shaking.)
SG: Don't stop!
Seph: Hmm, seems like I might be about to fuck a hole in the very fabric of reality just like that alien scientist I brutally murdered told me I would. Maybe I should stop...
SG: But then we won't be having sex anymore!
Seph: Good point, well made.
MYSTERIOUS VOICE: STOP!
(Suddenly A DOUBLE OF SCIENCE GIRLS steps out of Seph's closet!)
Seph: Fucking fuck fuck, can't I just have fucking sex without a clone of the girl I'm fucking telling me to stop?
Second Science Girl: I'm not a clone! If anything, she is!
SG: That's right, actually. I remember now. I'm her, from the future! I travelled back in time to stop us from having sex!
Seph: Then why are you having sex with me?
SG: I can't seem to stop! Oh, it's Trooser, he's an emo snake bastard who engineered this whole thing because he knew if he got us together in the same room the universe would push us together into SEX and we'd end up fucking that deadly hole!
Seph: You mean like I'm fucking your deadly hole?
SG: Yes!
Second Science Girl: You have to stop! I'll stop you!
(She jumps into bed with them...then starts having sex too!)
Second Science Girl: Damn it, I can't resist either!
Seph: Let's just fuck anyway, it might not destroy the universe.
SG: No! Me and my past self are just weak willed females, but YOU are a man, Seph, and you can stop! You have to pull out! PULL OUT TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE, SEPH!
Seph: Meh, maybe in a few minutes.
TO BE SEPHTINUED
SG: Finally!
Seph: Fuck you. I wanted someone to fuck.
Trooser: But you can fuck her, see...
(Trooser takes Science Girl's glasses off and lets her hair down. She is ACTUALLY BEAUTIFUL.)
Seph: Oh, right. Let's fuck then.
SG: No, I...no...
Seph: Stop fucking resisting, you know you want to!
(Science Girl CAN'T RESIST and starts SEX KISSING Seph. They end up IN BED.)
Trooser: AHAHAHAHAAHAHA, FINALLY! MY PLAN HAS WORKED! MY PLAN TO DESTROY THE UNIVERSE BY TRICKING SEPH INTO FUCKING A HOLE IN THE FABRIC OF SPACE AND TIME HAS WORKED! BECAUSE, YOU SEE, I, TROOSER, AM ACTUALLY...
(Seph kicks Trooser in the side of the head.)
Seph: Fuck the up shut, Trooser.
(Seph POPS back into bed with Science Girl who is NAKED and her body is PALE. HIS VISION HAS COME TRUE.)
Seph: Your breasts are so pale.
SG: I know, I know. I'm so happy we can be together.
Seph: Fuck, your thighs are pale too.
SG: Oh Seph, you say the sweetest things! Kiss me!
Seph: I'll shag you.
SG: Oh Seph!
Seph: Oh Woman.
(He starts kissing her and everything starts shaking.)
SG: Don't stop!
Seph: Hmm, seems like I might be about to fuck a hole in the very fabric of reality just like that alien scientist I brutally murdered told me I would. Maybe I should stop...
SG: But then we won't be having sex anymore!
Seph: Good point, well made.
MYSTERIOUS VOICE: STOP!
(Suddenly A DOUBLE OF SCIENCE GIRLS steps out of Seph's closet!)
Seph: Fucking fuck fuck, can't I just have fucking sex without a clone of the girl I'm fucking telling me to stop?
Second Science Girl: I'm not a clone! If anything, she is!
SG: That's right, actually. I remember now. I'm her, from the future! I travelled back in time to stop us from having sex!
Seph: Then why are you having sex with me?
SG: I can't seem to stop! Oh, it's Trooser, he's an emo snake bastard who engineered this whole thing because he knew if he got us together in the same room the universe would push us together into SEX and we'd end up fucking that deadly hole!
Seph: You mean like I'm fucking your deadly hole?
SG: Yes!
Second Science Girl: You have to stop! I'll stop you!
(She jumps into bed with them...then starts having sex too!)
Second Science Girl: Damn it, I can't resist either!
Seph: Let's just fuck anyway, it might not destroy the universe.
SG: No! Me and my past self are just weak willed females, but YOU are a man, Seph, and you can stop! You have to pull out! PULL OUT TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE, SEPH!
Seph: Meh, maybe in a few minutes.
TO BE SEPHTINUED
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
(Seph is still having sex with Science Girl and Second Science Girl. The room is melting away around them.)
SG: The room is melting away like how Quavers melt in your mouth!
SSG: The end of the universe is here!
Seph: Not until I stop fucking you. And that could be a while.
(Trooser wakes up.)
Trooser: Yessssssss! My plan worked! The drugs I gave Seph to make him give in to his primal instincts worked! That's why he blew up the moon and kicked that chair and all that other shit! That's why he can't stop fucking!
Seph: Yeah, thanks for explaining the plot, you spastic pasty.
Trooser: Finally I will get what I want! The end of everything! The only thing left in the universe will be me and my emo poetry!
Seph: Wait, me fucking these two fitties is enabling you to write emo poetry?
Trooser: Yessss!
(Seph instantly stops.)
Seph: No sex is worth that.
SSG: Yay!
SG: But it may be too late! We appear to be the only things left in the universe!
Trooser: Yessssss! I erected an unreality bubble around this room! Every time Seph fucked you two, we travelled further back in time, erasing more and more of history! There's nothing left now but us! The four of us, floating through space forever...me with a captive audience for my EMO POETRY!
SSG: There is no hope!
Seph: So I erased all of reality by fucking these two normally?
Trooser: Yessssss! The irony is delicious! I think. I was never entirely sure what irony means.
Seph: Then I know how to bring reality back.
SG and SSG: But how!?
Seph: By fucking you both backwards!
Trooser: NOOOOOOOOO!
(Trooser jumps at Seph, mouth opened.)
TO BE SEPHTINUED
SG: The room is melting away like how Quavers melt in your mouth!
SSG: The end of the universe is here!
Seph: Not until I stop fucking you. And that could be a while.
(Trooser wakes up.)
Trooser: Yessssssss! My plan worked! The drugs I gave Seph to make him give in to his primal instincts worked! That's why he blew up the moon and kicked that chair and all that other shit! That's why he can't stop fucking!
Seph: Yeah, thanks for explaining the plot, you spastic pasty.
Trooser: Finally I will get what I want! The end of everything! The only thing left in the universe will be me and my emo poetry!
Seph: Wait, me fucking these two fitties is enabling you to write emo poetry?
Trooser: Yessss!
(Seph instantly stops.)
Seph: No sex is worth that.
SSG: Yay!
SG: But it may be too late! We appear to be the only things left in the universe!
Trooser: Yessssss! I erected an unreality bubble around this room! Every time Seph fucked you two, we travelled further back in time, erasing more and more of history! There's nothing left now but us! The four of us, floating through space forever...me with a captive audience for my EMO POETRY!
SSG: There is no hope!
Seph: So I erased all of reality by fucking these two normally?
Trooser: Yessssss! The irony is delicious! I think. I was never entirely sure what irony means.
Seph: Then I know how to bring reality back.
SG and SSG: But how!?
Seph: By fucking you both backwards!
Trooser: NOOOOOOOOO!
(Trooser jumps at Seph, mouth opened.)
TO BE SEPHTINUED