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William Shatner to Star as Matt Damon in next Trek movie?

Sisko to try to act angry, but turning very nasal in the progress
 
Shannon Doherty as Pete Doherty until she's dead.
 
Steve Martin in search for being funny
 
The A-Team van as a shuttlecraft.
 
Stewie Griffin recast in the Clint Howard baby alien leader episode.
 
Shatners toopea to star as a tribble
 
FRANKIE MUNIZ TO GUEST STAR AS THE HUMANOID KID WHO DOESN'T AGE WELL
 
George Lucas neck to star as skin of evil
 
Robert Beltran to play audience member in disguise, being quoted in the press as not being interested at all in the project even though they begged him to participate, which some find puzzling as he no longer has a phone.
 
Ricki Lake to fill with water a giant hole created by her previously fat arse. Saddam Hussein unavailable for comment.
 
George Takei turned down for movie, but is offered his own Trek series to be produced in Japan. He is dropped from the cast 3 days into production and replaced by Genevieve Bujold.
 
Random actor from Benson to co star
 
Amber Benson to jump naked from cake, a la Under Siege.
 
Tom Lenk to play cross-dresser in his bathroom mirror.
 
The First Evil to be lame villain.
 
Micheal Ironside to say, no thanks, the script isnt good enough
 
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